A Strange Feeling as of Late...

Originally posted by truthseeker1984
reply to post by ChaosMagician

 

I've been following your plight Chaos, and I'm wondering: has your friend ever been tested for Asperger's Syndrome? It sounds like, from the information you've provided, that he might have at least some signs of this syndrome. Just a thought.

___________

How has everybody else been doing? Without going into too much detail, I can tell you without a doubt that I will be hanging up my "spiritual guns" for an indefinite amount of time once I'm done with the project for the thread. I have been struggling with even the most basic of senses. I cannot read people at all, and that used to be the easiest thing for me to do. The list of things that I cannot seem to do anymore is a bit too long to write down at the present time. I feel as if a very damp blanket has been pulled over me, and I have chosen this time to take a break from it all.

I'm slowly but surely coming closer to completion with the project, and I'm excited to be able to present it to all of you. It was a much larger undertaking than I originally had thought, but I think it will be worth it in the end.

I hope you are all well. Much love.




Peace be with you.

-truthseeker

he is crippled, has arthrogryposis and has seizures. he has fallen and hit the back of his head several times in his life to the point where it is now badly dented. I doubt it because he speaks well, jokes around well with people in his age group and others he knows and is relatively smart. He has a pretty good capacity for empathy as well.

His problem is that he has never had to do anything on his own and his "thing" is conversation and video games. It's certainly not sports or anything that requires the use of many skills such as running or doing most things with his hands. He didn't start walking til he was 11.

He is very vocal.
It's not a bad thing but sometimes it's frustrating because he asks questions that don't need to be asked. Questions with very obvious answers. For example... I will get up to do something. He will know I am getting up to do this thing because he is watching me do it, knows I am getting up and is about to ask me a question based on his guess that i am about to do this thing... but he asks anyway because he has nothing better to do and he is used to not having to *do* things but rather *ask* for things.
that in itself is usually not a big deal but when you have to have conversations over and over about things you've already talked about, it gets frustrating. He is young, he has his nose in a video game CONSTANTLY and he simply does not have the mental discipline to think before he speaks and think about things he is going to talk to me about and try to figure it out first. He will report a bunch of stuff to me about what he is doing or what he plans on doing and sometimes i find myself correcting his actions a as a parent would give advice to their child... but he is not my child. i do these things because i don't want to see him making mistakes. that's fine but like all children, he sometimes doesn't listen. It makes it more frustrating that he is not a child. You ever talked to a child and you ask the child if they know what you are talking about and they don't. It's not because they are stupid or have any type of disorder or diagnosis... it's because they are a child.

He is not a child but his life is not that of a normal 23 yr olds. It never has been. He has been in hospitals a lot growing up...didn't have to do crap in school and will freely admit this. He's never had to take care of his own stuff... period. He wakes up and waits for someone to bring him food. He does things to keep himself from being bored until it's time for bed and he does little more unless he is told to do so. He has suffered ego death unlike most people but with him it is second nature. It's not that he doesn't care about life or living... he seems to love his life, but if it's easier to stay in his chair then get up and doing something that needs to be done, in his chair is where he will stay. simply put.

You ever talk to someone about something and they act like they are just not wanting to concentrate? This young man is so deep into world of warcraft and has had who knows how many 80s that he has leveled. He has an associates degree in webdesign but never does anything with it. Period. He is not stupid but he wil sit in his chair with a nose full of snot making his own throat sore by breathing through his mouth simply because he doesn't feel like getting up to blow his nose. He gets no exercise. he has systemic mycosis (fungus-athletes foot) that could get in his brain and destroy his pancreas leading to diabetes and they will wind up having to cut his deformed little feet off and he has not once ever researched anything on his own about his own conditions or anything revolving around self care or hygiene.... yet he has picked out all the components that i will be installing into his new computer.
he is supposed to be scheduling an appointment with his new doctor but has he done that? No. Someone has to keep up with every single thing he does and it is based on nothing more than a lack of responsibility. you see, I have already done all this. I used to tend to all his # for him. Someone has to do it. Are there people for him to get in home care and administrative help... yes? but he has t be approved for such things and he is not approved despite his condition. We've already been through all this rigamaroll. There are people laying in beds dying as we speak, just because he is crippled does not mean that he will get all the benefits he should because of due process. We are lucky to have the benefits for him that he has. This is central florida, the elderly and disabled are a dime a dozen around here and if the government says "we can't put another person on this list" then that is it.

What he needs to do is sharpen his mind as much towards important things and things people have told him dozens of times *as much* as he does that game... and he would be just fine. Just a couple of months ago he swore off wow. He was online for hours and got dizzy and got up to try to get in his bed before a seizure came and fell and hit his face on the corner of the bed and broke his two front teeth and blacked his own eye. I had left the house for *no more than an hour* to buy a weedwhacker and I came back to find him on the floor convulsing and moaning. After he woke up and went to the ER to have his head xrayed and looked at himself in the mirror, he swore off the game. Is he back on it? You bet your ass he is.

What it *is*... is behavior of an undisciplined person. That's what it is.

he's a sweetheart though. He just told me to refill his cup and there was a bug in it because he left it on his desk like he does every night that i have told him not to do god only knows how many #ing times.

I burnt my fish while writing that last post.

what he needs... what we need.... is another place to live. Owned out right. he can't live on his own. he doesn't want to live with people he cannot trust because he never gets control. he doesn't get a lot of control here but he trusts me with his finances and I tend to him. I may get bitchy at times but I'm not abusive and I'm not a liar or an irresponsible kid. He doesn't want to live back home either.

I want to save our money and buy a cheap place to live and then if I ever decide to leave he will have a place and one of his brothers can come stay with him or something after he gets a little better perspective of at least how to keep his lights turned on. We rent this place but property owners are damn annoying. property owners are a big cause of my current frustrations in life. I just feel like bitching and making excuses for myself. It keeps me from doing something more drastic like getting drunk and trying to annoy everyone else the way people annoy me.

Well, I still say you need a break. Time for yourself. As for central Florida, I hear ya. I have fibro and couldn't get any help in Florida, and watched my fibro riddled mother get turned down for help over and over again until she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She got her money after she died. That's Florida for you. We are here for you to vent to, what ever, but some of us are going to chime in from time to time about it.

So apparently I killed the thread. Sheesh. Where did everyone go? I don't think we have ever gone this long without a post. Has everyone stopped feeling that strange feeling and gone back to "normal"?

Originally posted by Ceriddwen
So apparently I killed the thread. Sheesh. Where did everyone go? I don't think we have ever gone this long without a post. Has everyone stopped feeling that strange feeling and gone back to "normal"?

Nope. Quite the opposite. I've been noticing a trend between people being crabby for no good reason (a mass phenomenon), a feeling of electricity in the air (for lack of better terms), and a really, really intense feeling of needing to hide. I'm still struggling to sort through it all, on top of doing the project for the thread. Life has been getting in the way, and I haven't had any positive or constructive things to say in a few weeks. I think that "wave" that we have all been talking about for months is finally resurfacing, and it's stronger than it was last time. Hopefully my project will prove that. Check out my dream thread Ceri. You can find it in my profile. It's entitled "A Dream? A Warning? You decide." It might shed some light on why I have refrained from posting in a few weeks. I'm still trying to sort everything out.

I hope you are all doing well. Please post and let us know how you are doing. Things are starting to pick up, and I'm starting to get the ominous feeling that it's not over yet.




Peace be with you.

-truthseeker

I am reading The Redneck's future Earth thread now, saw your post and checked your profile to see if you were around. (NO, I am not stalking you. ) Saw your new thread and opened it up to read as soon as I am done here.

I have been feeling exhausted and put upon by everyone I work with. I know that some of that is me, and I am dealing with it, but for some reason lately, I am the one that is being greatly taken advantage of, and I am dealing with that as well. Everyone I know, including myself some of the time, is sick, angry, and disturbed by things. I had to calm a co-worker down the other night. I came in to work, did my shift, and was ready to go when it became apparent that she would be working alone on her shift due to undependable people and the snow that has been hitting us here in the northeast. I wound up pulling a double (have worked 30 hours in two days) because I wouldn't leave her alone on the job like that. ANYWAY, she was panicked and freaking out about the bird deaths and other animal issues and the extreme weather in the world, convinced that the world was about to end. I talked to her about this site, about this thread in particular, and gave her my views on the topic. Calmed her down a lot and I hope it helped her to have a new idea about the possible future.

On the positive side, when I am having these moments of unnecessary anger, I recognize it and attempt to put the kibosh on it. It might take a while to get it under control, but I usually do. This is a change for me from the past. I think the bottom line is that I am exhausted. I think many of us in this thread, on this site, and in the world are just plain exhausted. It is a never ending energy flux lately and it is wearing us down. I can't wait until things stabilize, no matter what is on the other side. Then, maybe, I can sleep for more than five hours in a row and actually feel relaxed.

Hey everyone,

Just checking in and trying to catch up on everything. Been busy with family and the Holidays and now back to work.

I'm not sure how everyone else is feeling lately with all that's been going on, but I've been pretty calm and relaxed, but at the same time a little anxious (but not in a bad way). It's like when you're at the airport waiting for your flight. I feel like I'm just waiting for my plane and just killing time at the terminal until it gets here to take my trip lol. I hope that makes sense

Hope everyone is well.
~ Dredge

reply to post by Dredge


Thread sure has slowed down... It's not that the strange feelings aren't there, it's just I can't really put things into words anymore.

Things are so unsure nowaydays.

reply to post by SolarE-Souljah


That feeling is back full force today...

Something is up right now.

Funny that is happens to be 1/11/11 today.

My dreams last night were extremely intense...

At one point in my dream, I was like "oh my god I had this dream before!" it was all very strange and bizzare. How are all of you?

Feeling positive, but unmotivated compared to yesterday.

Slept well, but Im feeling like the room is full of people, even though its just me in here.

Might do some meditation later and see if anything cares to have a chat.

reply to post by SolarE-Souljah


I'm doing well....now. You have not seen a post from me for some time. I've been away with no internet access. I've read a lot though. The most interesting book I read was very interesting, unfortunately I don't know anyone who has read it, so I've not had anyone to talk to about it. It's title is The Gods of Eden, has anyone read it?

Originally posted by amc621
reply to post by SolarE-Souljah

 

I'm doing well....now. You have not seen a post from me for some time. I've been away with no internet access. I've read a lot though. The most interesting book I read was very interesting, unfortunately I don't know anyone who has read it, so I've not had anyone to talk to about it. It's title is The Gods of Eden, has anyone read it?

I have not read it yet, but it is on my list of books to read. How have you been AMC? Many of us have ducked out for a while to take care of personal matters, and I have personally ducked out to keep away from more of the negative things that I have had to say in past weeks. Still working slowly but surely on the project for the thread, but I have had to take a side line for another major thread that I am working on.

There has been a lot of weird things going on in the world for the past few weeks, and it only seems to be picking up. I'm keeping a careful eye to see any sort of pattern that may emerge.

Hope you are all well. I miss you my friends.




Peace be with you.

-truthseeker

Originally posted by truthseeker1984
a feeling of electricity in the air (for lack of better terms), and a really, really intense feeling of needing to hide.

Yup, that right there.
Glad to know it's not just me.
I've been so introverted lately, people are starting to worry. But really, I just keep feeling like I need to keep my mouth closed and eyes & ears open.
I hope everyone is doing well. I've missed you all and I hope your holidays were beautiful.
I'll be around more often again but probably quiet if this need to sit quiet in the corner persists.

Love you all to pieces

I can tell you it will be ok

As i said.. somewhere else round abouts here.. it is peeking over the horizon like a sunrise. Those firmly entrenched in their mind as the totality of all that is, and their individual perspective, might have some issues. But, it will be ok.

The body you are in will return to dust, as it was destined to from the beginning.

Love. Let it flow. That is all.

oh hi people, long time not posting...
well, my life has been pretty quiet on this side of the screen, but very agitated in the other side. I'm amazed.
Last night I've had 2 shared dreams =s, 2! this is madness! but I haven't been this happy in a long time. It seems that the ties I had attached that didn't let me evolve finally were cut, and it's like living a complete new life.

I've been a member since 2005, in my search for truth and knowledge. At that time, ATS was far different. It was filled with blue pill addicts who would readily ridicule anyone who was 'different' from their way of mainstream thinking. UFOs, Paranomal, Conspiracy theories, etc are regarded as subjects only kooks indulged in.

The economy was doing well. Everyone was happy and content to keep eating the blue pills even though some were trying so hard to share ther realities of what is to come. None listened. I was aghast at the attitude.

But how times change. As early as September 09, i noticed more were ready to accept different opinions after their worlds sadly shattered despite long early warning signs. Many began to turn to their 6th sense, an unacknowledged and heavily unresearched aspect of our being, and discovered strange feelings, feeling of which they never knew before, and started sharing it freely here, without fear or favour or any form of reward in kind.

This was the only thread that gave me hope and courage to pursue further my quest without fear. Each time I see this thread being updated, I feel that it is a right path, led by many posters whom many had once ridiculed unkindly as pseudo pyschics out to rule the world, but as times went by, their feelings were real, witnessed by so many strange happenings today, which they themselves are at a loss to explain. which spawn many other threads with more courageously speaking up and asking questions, the path to seeking truth over realities we confront now.

Some say its a coincidence, some say it may be a 'tingling' in the 'force' - a disturbance in the emf which governs our mind. Throughout the thread, me, an insignificant nobody, had learnt so much from everyone who posted, from empathy to love,, and thank you all for that evidence of 6th sense and perseverance even in the face of contemptous scorn by others.

May we here be able to fine tune our senses better and further, so that we all may help mankind's progress and evolutions.

Thanks and Cheers to all. :-)

reply to post by SeekerofTruth101


Good to see you "here," friend.

The transition from others doubt to the "I AM" state of love is an interesting one. It has a point of no return, its a trap!

By your words, you are bolstering the courage of others who have done the same for you in another frame of time. The reciprocity is beautiful, so this one thanks you

Please forgive me for blundering into this thread without reading all 121 pages (I only managed 7) but it resonated with me so much that I had to create an ATS account to post here.

I've been feeling like there's something big coming for a long while now, nearly 10 years in fact but it has intensified recently and now it feels as though I'm standing on the edge of an abyss just waiting for the storm to erupt in front of me. I honestly believed (until reading this thread) that I was alone in this feeling and that perhaps I may have been overthinking things but perhaps I was right all along.

It started for me back in 2001 when I began to feel the need to move, to be anywhere other than I was and I returned to my home town in the hopes that the feeling would go away but it didn't. Around that time, I came across someone on the internet through a forum similar to this one and without thinking said, "We are the gatekeepers, the ones who stand as a barrier to the dark and a beacon to the light".

The conversation drifted off after that and I forgot about it over the next few years because real life got in the way (although the feeling of needing to be somewhere hung around).

This is where it gets strange and please forgive me for sounding like a complete nut.

It was around 2005 that I heard about the Large Hadron Collider and it was like there was a 'click' in my head and even though I ascribed to the Pagan pathways at that time, something told me that I had to go back and read the Bible (even though I really didn't want to thanks to bad church experiences when I was younger). I tried to ignore the feeling of needing to check the Bible but it stayed with me until I gave in at the end of 2008. Again, at this point, the Large Hadron Collider was back in the news and I had the intense feeling that I absolutely must get baptised before it was switched on fully and that if I didn't, it would cause me no end of problems.

Everyone who knew me thought I'd lost the plot, not least because I was almost rabidly anti-church and anti-christian (Sorry to all the christians out there!) but nonetheless, I immersed myself in the church long enough to get baptised which happened on 14th December 2009.

This all leads to last month. For the whole of last month, I had the feeling that Saturday (my 30th birthday) was significant and that I had to get ready for something, that I had to prepare for something. On Saturday, I went through the whole day feeling slightly off kilter, as though what remnants of my childhood I'd been clinging to were being set aside and as though (this is even weirder!) that something in my mind had opened up, almost like a door being thrown open.

It was at around 9pm on Saturday that I had the thought again 'I am a barrier to the dark and a beacon to the light' and, as that thought was completed, we had a power outage literally outside my door but instead of being afraid, I was completely excited and got my shoes on as fast as I could and ran outside. The strange thing was, the power outage was literally only around my block of houses (which is weird considering I live in a victorian housing estate in England) and when nothing further happened, I was almost crushed by the disappointment I felt.

As I trudged back to my house, one by one all the lights came back on, almost like they were tracing my path back home. I've been looking all over the internet since the outage to see if anyone else has been feeling as strange as I have lately and I came across this thread and absolutely had to post. I'm also hoping someone might be able to explain what it is I've been feeling these last 10 years and why it's intensified now.

Anyway, I hope you don't think I'm nuts (at least not too much) but I had to share with you all

reply to post by sephrenia


I think one conceptualization is that many have started to actually move. If gravity and magnetism have forces at play in our physical universe, a cumulative effect may be seen as larger and larger (exponentially, perhaps only to a degree of mass) move closer together, tightening their orbits as this solar system did itself during its creation. The resulting forces may just result in something quite interesting, as it did with the very land we physically stand on.

I have a strange feeling posts are disappearing.