Global Flood explains Oil Deposits and Geological layers

originally posted by: Oldcarpy2
a reply to: purplemer

"and plasma sky events".

The thread that keeps on giving!

This is just bonkers.

Carry on.

Hear me out on this one: father time and lady luck hook up and it randomly mutates a microbe into you over a billion years.

Whoa whoa whoa...

If we are taking the Bible seriously, and the instructions to Noah accurately reported, then...

I must point at that nowhere in the scripture did God mention feeding the animals on the Ark.

originally posted by: WakeUpBeer
I must point at that nowhere in the scripture did God mention feeding the animals on the Ark.

He did say and historians took the time to jot down that there was to be no hanky panky.

Now that I think about it, the crow couldn't have left a pregnant lady crow on the ark. Ham was the only one that went HAM.

originally posted by: Ohanka
In fact the only time plants are mentioned is when Noah passed out from being drunk and his son covered up his naked body and got cursed for his trouble.

Yet, Lot's daughters get him drunk and have sex with him, so that they get pregnant.

No harm no foul there, apparently.

originally posted by: WakeUpBeer
Yet, Lot's daughters get him drunk and have sex with him, so that they get pregnant.

No harm no foul there, apparently.

And the wife is the one turned into a pillar of salt for the grand transgression of looking back at sodom.

originally posted by: daskakik
And the wife is the one turned into a pillar of salt for the grand transgression of looking back at sodom.

Not as crazy as the story of primordial sludge turning into a self-replicating homeostatic organic lifeform.

originally posted by: cooperton
Not as crazy as the story of primordial sludge turning into a self-replicating homeostatic organic lifeform.

So incest is overlooked but just taking a glance back at the town you probably lived in your whole life is worthy of that punishment?

That is all sorts of crazy when you want to make the claim that your god is just and oozing love.

ETA: Evolution might be wrong but it doesn't make the stories in the bible any less crazy.

a reply to: cooperton

Hear me out on this one: father time and lady luck hook up and it randomly mutates a microbe into you over a billion years.

Works for me. Although LUCA was 3-4 BILLION years ago.

And the following was actually really annoying to put together. It was more research than I thought it would be. I actually had the check the Quora cop-out answer I used.

My 'scripture' for the origins of the special snowflake species that is humankind.

1 in the beginning I was a prokaryote, and it was simple.

2 Then at 2.7 billion I became a eukaryote, with a nucleus.

3 Then once I had a nucleus I turned into a Metazoa. I now had multiple cells.

4 From there I became bilateria. I was now symmetrical.

5 Then I became a deuterostome. I was now a bilateral animal with a gut.

6 Then I became a Chordate. I was now a bilateral animal with a gut and a dorsal nervous cord.

7 Then I became a Vertebrate. I now became a bilateral animal, with a gut, a dorsal nervous cord, and a backbone.

8 From there I became a Osteichthyes. I was now a bilateral animal, with a gut, a dorsal nervous cord, a backbone, and a fully formed skeleton.

9 After that I became a Tetrapod. I was now a bilateral animal, with a gut, a dorsal nervous cord, a backbone, and a fully formed skeleton, and transitioned to the land.

10 Then I became an Amniotes. I was now a bilateral animal, with a gut, a dorsal nervous cord, a backbone, a fully formed skeleton, that transitioned to the land, and started laying hard shelled eggs.

11 Then I was a Pelycosaur. I was now a bilateral animal, with a gut, a dorsal nervous cord, a backbone, a fully formed skeleton, that had transitioned to the land, started laying hard shelled eggs, and started losing my scales.

12 After that was my transition to Therapsid. I was now a bilateral animal, with a gut, a dorsal nervous cord, a backbone, a fully formed skeleton, started laying hard shelled eggs, lost my scales, my jaws developed canines, and my feet were now parallel to my body.

13 After this I became a early mammal. I was now a bilateral animal, with a gut, a dorsal nervous cord, a backbone, a fully formed skeleton, my jaws had canines, my feet were now parallel to my body, and I started nourishing young, despite still laying eggs.

14 Then I became a Eutherian. I was now a bilateral animal, with a gut, a dorsal nervous cord, a backbone, a fully formed skeleton, my jaws had canines, my feet were parallel to my body, and I started nourishing young, that I now gave live birth to.

15 Then I became an early primate like Plesiadapis. I was now a bilateral animal, with a gut, a dorsal nervous cord, a backbone, a fully formed skeleton, my jaws had canines, my feet were parallel to my body, I nourish young that I gave live birth to, and developed more acute sensory organs and larger brain.

16 Then I became an early ape, proconsul. I was now a bilateral animal, with a gut, a dorsal nervous cord, a backbone, a fully formed skeleton, my jaws had canines, my feet were parallel to my body, I nourish young that I gave live birth to, have more acute sensory organs, larger brain, hands that could grasp, and a flatter face structure.

17 Then I became an Ape. I was now a bilateral animal, with a gut, a dorsal nervous cord, a backbone, a fully formed skeleton, my jaws had canines, my feet were parallel to my body, I nourish young that I gave live birth to, have more acute sensory organs, larger brain, hands that could grasp, a flatter face structure, more upright stance, and started used primitive tools.

18 Then I became a hominid. I was now a bilateral animal, with a gut, a dorsal nervous cord, a backbone, a fully formed skeleton, my jaws had canines, my feet were parallel to my body, I nourish young that I gave live birth to, have more acute sensory organs, larger brain, hands that could grasp, a flatter face structure, used primitive tools, and walked mostly upright.

19 From there I became an early human. I was now a bilateral animal, with a gut, a dorsal nervous cord, a backbone, a fully formed skeleton, my jaws had canines, my feet were parallel to my body, I nourish young that I gave live birth to, have more acute sensory organs, larger brain, hands that could grasp, a flatter face structure, used primitive tools, walked upright, and used inventions like fire, and cave art.

20 Finally I became Homo sapien. I am now a bilateral animal, with a gut, a dorsal nervous cord, a backbone, a fully formed skeleton, my jaws has canines, my feet are parallel to my body, I can nourish young that I gave live birth to, have more acute sensory organs, larger brain, hands that can grasp, a flatter face structure, use tools, walk upright, and use inventions like computers to talk about evolution with.

21 And a partridge in a pear tree.

I guess another key difference would be all the female primacy in that scripture.

a reply to: Degradation33
"We got a badass over here" meme deployed.

2nd.

a reply to: cooperton

I like the story where we are all damned to hell because a naked woman in a garden ate a forbidden fruit because a talking snake told her to do it. Pretty wild.

originally posted by: cooperton

originally posted by: Oldcarpy2
Good grief, will this insanity never end?

I'll stop the thread if you can show me a mechanism for life coming from non-life without intelligent input.

I thought the thread was called...

Global Flood explains Oil Deposits and Geological layers

I like the thread, it shows how desperate some people are to try to prove the bible is a 'real' history book full of 'facts'. People of religion always try to claim the moral high ground yet ALWAYS prove how quickly they can corrupt things like facts and the truth. They climb atop their high horse and attack things like peoples gender,

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

You do seem to jump between subjects when you've proven wrong thou'. Going from the mantle and magic water, to incredible Pixar happy fish, to magic 'kinds' of animal that create every species on earth in a few thousand years.

It took about a billion or so years for life on earth to evolve and approx' 3.5 billion years for us to evolve. This you don't believe, yet believe a handful of animals magicialy created 9 million species in a few thousand years...

Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment.

Out of all the stories in the bible why defend this one as literal truth? It makes God look like an arsehole. Most people are against omnicidal drowning for the crime of existence.

I suppose Daleks might be in favour. But they are crazed genocidal squid aliens in robot suits from Skaro. Hardly ideal or pleasant company.

Why not Jonah instead? God helps a dude get out the stomach of a big fish. After being chastised of course. But no baby murder here. Way better look for the angry sky man.

a reply to: Ohanka

Even the story about the talking Donkey "Balaam" is more credible than the tale of Noah's Ark by my guess.

originally posted by: daskakik

So incest is overlooked but just taking a glance back at the town you probably lived in your whole life is worthy of that punishment?

Is incest overlooked in your mutant ape fairy tale? The two theoretical chromosomal fusion mutants that found eachother against miraculous probability would only be allowed to have their mutant offspring be able to mate with eachother.

Face it, either way you look at it, the origins of humankind is mind-boggling.

originally posted by: andy06shake
a reply to: Ohanka

Even the story about the talking Donkey "Balaam" is more credible than the tale of Noah's Ark by my guess.

Reminds me of the myth of the talking apes that magically grew proper vocalization hardware and the necessary cerebral real-estate to know how to talk and communicate. All by accident, definitely no intelligence involved in creating this intricate biological hardware. Seriously that's a firm part of the evolutionary mythos - No intelligence whatsoever

a reply to: cooperton

"Face it, either way you look at it, the origins of humankind is mind-boggling."

Yes agreed. But our ancestry is pretty clear.

a reply to: cooperton

The thing is the theory of evolution is widely accepted and considered one of the most well-supported explanations for the diversity of life on Earth which would include us talking apes.

There is evidence supporting the theory of evolution that comes from multiple scientific disciplines, including paleontology, comparative anatomy, embryology, molecular biology, and genetics.

Which kind of trumps the "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." nonsense hands down if you think about it.

For a start words require sounds, and sound requires a medium to propagate through, hence in the beginning there must have been more than a word.

The whole entire story is full of holes cooperton, its not just Noah's Ark.

And it's as plain as day for anyone who wishes to look, listen, and actually see.

a reply to: cooperton

Yes, but you sneeringly refer to magic yet you believe it was all done by magic by God?

Quite some irony there.

A shame the species of intelligent hairless bipedal ape also developed such profound arrogance as to reject their own natural origins.

originally posted by: cooperton
Is incest overlooked in your mutant ape fairy tale?

That isn't my fairy tale but in that fairy tale incest isn't a punishable offense, so I guess the answer is yes.