Rodney Dangerfield joke of the day

07/07/04: "I tell you, it's tough to save a buck. Right now I'm supporting to fighters - my wife and her mother."

07/08/04: "I was crossing the street, I got hit by a bookmobile. I was laying there in pain moaning, the guy went shhhhhhhhhhhh...."

nice job NotTooHappy for keeping the jokes up for months

No prob' 2009.

07/10/04: "Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother! "

07/11/04: "I was an ugly kid. My old man took me to the circus; we went to see the freaks. The owner looked at me, he said, "Get the kid out. He's distracting from the show!" "

06/12/04: "What a childhood I had - I was ten years old when I found out Alpo was dog food!"

07/13/04: "Oh, when I was kid, I got no respect. I was kidnapped; they sent back a piece of my finger. My old man said he wanted more proof."

Keep them coming. Rodney is one of America's greatest comedians.

07/14/04: "Oh, I knew one guy, he never went off his diet - he never drank, he never smoked, he never did anything wrong ... he was in perfect health - right up 'til the time he killed himself. "

07/15/04: "Oh, I'm getting old - my insurance company sent me half a calendar!"

07/16/04: "And when we were kids, the whole neighborhood made fun of my brother. They'd call him four eyes. Then when he got glasses then they called him eight eyes."

07/17/04: "I told a guy, "Kids. Today the way they dress, you can't tell boys from girls. Why, look at that kid over there. What's that? A boy or a girl?" He said, "That's a boy, that's my son." I said, "Sure, you knew, you're his father." He said, "I'm not his father, I'm his mother!""

07/18/04: "Oh, yesterday was a beauty. I found a guy's wallet. Inside was a picture of my kids!"

07/27/04: "When I was a kid, I was poor. My teeth were all yellow - I mean yellow - why, when I would smile, I would stop traffic! "

07/28/04: "When we got married, the first thing my wife did was, she put everything in both names. Her and her mother's."

08/03/04: "When my wife was pregnant, I told her, I said, "Honey, if it looks like you, it'll be beautiful." She said, "If it looks like you, it'll be a miracle." "

08/04/04: "My wife told me she's going to run away from home. Luckily I live in a cliff! "

08/05/04: "I did a show, the whole audience was gay. I did great! I mean AFTER the show! "

08/06/04: "I'm gettin' old. A girl asked me if I wanted to have some super sex. I took the soup!"

08/10/04: "I worked a nightclub. The boss told me he'd pay me under the table - I waited after two hours, he never showed up! "