Rodney Dangerfield joke of the day

Originally posted by NotTooHappy
04/29/04: "I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it."

ROFL!!!

Ah man, this guy's so hilarious. Love his jokes.

Keep 'em coming

05/10/04: "You don't know who to trust anymore. I got my car fixed. The guy gave me an estimate for a hundred dollars. When I got the bill, it was two hundred dollars. I said to him, "How about the estimate for a hundred dollars?" He says, "You're right, I forgot, that makes it three hundred dollars.""

05/11/04: "My wife, she told me to go to hell. I told her, "You're too late. I'm already there.""

05/12/04: "Last week I saw my psychiatrist. I told him, "Doc, I keep thinking I'm a dog." He told me to get off his couch."

music playing in background: Belinda Carlise: La Luna

Surprised this one wasn't posted.

"It's not easy being me when i was born the doctor told my mother, I did all I could but he pulled through anyway."

Originally posted by websurfer
music playing in background: Belinda Carlise: La Luna

Surprised this one wasn't posted.

"It's not easy being me when i was born the doctor told my mother, I did all I could but he pulled through anyway."

It'll work it's way in to the rotation eventually.

I read through every singal one of these jokes and laughed my ace off,Thank you for your time and effort on them

You're welcome. Here's another.
05/13/04: "With my wife, nothing is wasted. When the cuffs wear out in my shirt, it becomes a short-sleeved shirt. When the collar goes, it becomes a pajama top. Right now I've got 44 short-sleeved pajama tops. Sometimes, when I've got nothin' to do, I sit around the house and change pajama tops... "

05/14/04: "When I got married, I found out that the wife's clothes go on the wooden hangers and the husband's clothes go on the wire hangers. And when she needs more hangers, she picks out some of my clothes that look like they don't deserve to be hung up. "

05/15/04: "I mean we have trouble over nothin' sometimes. Like the other day she was singing. She was saying, "Hello, young lovers, whoever you are." I had nothing to do. I figured I'd sing too. I said, "I've been in love before." She said, "I'm singing." I said, "I wanna sing too." She said, "All right, you sing. When you're finished, then I'll sing." I said, "O.K., I'll sing." I went, "Hello, young lover...." She said, "Not that song! That's my song\" Oh, we have a very adult relationship going."

05/16/04: "When you get married, you learn of lot of things. I learned that the husband's closet never comes with the apartment. He gets six screws and easy instructions. A child can put it together. I went around the whole neighborhood looking for a child. I couldn't put it together. "

05/18/04: "I tell ya, my wife, she's a strict vegetarian. In fact, when I met her she was grazing on the front lawn."

A good one. NTH, I look forward to these. Thanks.

05/19/04: "I'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!"

05/20/04: "I'll tell ya, my wife, she keeps me in line. No matter how many guys are ahead of me. "

05/21/04: "See, the trouble with me, is my sex life is on hold, and I got no one to hold it!"

05/22/04: "I'm gettin' old, I got no sex life. I get tired just holding up the magazine. "

05/23/04: "I'm not a kid anymore, I'm gettin' older. Why, at my age, if I bend down to tie my shoelaces, I try to think of other things to do while I'm down there. "

05/24/04: "I tell ya, I drink too much. Way too much. When my doctor drew blood, he ran a tab! "

05/25/04: "I saw my doctor. He told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. "