Rodney Dangerfield joke of the day

09/15/04: "One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh!"

09/16/04: "Oh, last week was a rough week. I noticed my gums were shrinking. I was brushing my teeth with Preparation H."

09/17/04: "Oh, my wife loves vacations. The other night she told me, "I wanna go someplace I've never been before." I took her to a men's room."

09/19/04: "I'm trying a new diet now. The diet is Viagra and prune juice. I tell ya, I don't know if I'm coming or going."

09/20/04: "Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor, I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes. "

09/24/04: "When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right! "

09/25/04: "I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave. "

09/27/04: "You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, "The car behind me is paying for two." "

09/28/04: "I had a good time last week. I did a show; the whole audience was midgets. I got a standing ovation - I didn't even know it! "

09/29/04: "I tell ya, with me, sleep is important. Well, last night I went to bed, I couldn't sleep. I started to count sheep - I got horny! "

Originally posted by NotTooHappy
09/19/04: "I'm trying a new diet now. The diet is Viagra and prune juice. I tell ya, I don't know if I'm coming or going."

that was the best one of em all this guy rocks!!!

09/30/04: "When I was a kid I got no respect. I worked in a pet store. People kept asking how big I get."

10/01/04: "When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was lost on the beach and the cop helped me look for my parents I said, "Do you think we'll find them?" He said, "I don't know, kid, there's so many places they could hide." "

10/02/04: "It was the same thing in the army, no respect. They gave me a uniform that glowed in the dark. "

10/03/04: "I get no respect. This last week my tie was on fire. Some guy tried to put it out with an ax!"

10/04/04: "I get no respect at all. I donated to a sperm bank. Now I'm the father of three puppies. "

10/05/04: "I tell ya I get no respect from anyone. I bought a cemetary plot. The guy said, "There goes the neighborhood!" "

I don't want to be a downer, but Rodney just passed away

www.abovetopsecret.com...

By Gary Strauss, USA TODAY

Rodney Dangerfield, the sad-sack, bug-eyed comedian whose "I don't get no respect" jokes made him a stand-up legend, died Tuesday. He was 82.

Dangerfield, who fell into a coma after undergoing heart surgery, died at 1:20 p.m., said publicist Kevin Sasaki. Dangerfield had a heart valve replaced Aug. 25 at the University of California, Los Angeles, Medical Center.

Sasaki said in a statement that Dangerfield suffered a small stroke after the operation and developed infectious and abdominal complications. But in the past week he had emerged from the coma, the publicist said.

Born Jacob Cohen, Dangerfield began his comedy career writing jokes at 15. He began performing on-stage at 17. He later traveled the night club circuit for a decade under the name Jack Roy, struggling as a comedian and singing waiter before giving up showbiz for a more stable income. For most of the next decade, he lived in New Jersey and worked as an aluminum siding salesman.

At 40, Dangerfield relaunched his comedy career, again working in clubs, eventually becoming a Las Vegas headliner. Dangerfield got his first big break on The Ed Sullivan Show before making 70 appearances on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, where he typically appeared delivering jokes in an exasperated, staccato, gravelly voice. Tugging on his trademark red-tie, Dangerfield was typically the butt of his own jokes.

Dangerfield opened his own Manhattan comedy club, Dangerfield's, in the late 1960s. It was there that he helped launch the careers of several comedians, including Tim Allen, Roseanne Barr, Jim Carrey, Sam Kinison, Jerry Seinfeld, Rita Rudner, Robert Townsend and Louie Anderson.

An appearance in 1980's Caddyshack as obnoxious millionaire Al Czervik introduced Dangerfield to a younger, hipper audience that led to more film success.

In his autobiography It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs, Dangerfield says he gave up $150,000 worth of Las Vegas gigs to take the Caddyshack role, which paid just $35,000. The move, however, paid off handsomely. Dangerfield went on to star in several films, including Easy Money, Back to School and Ladybugs before accepting a dramatic role in Oliver Stone's Natural Born Killers.



Please post you condolences to his wife and kids here... www.rodney.com...


[Edited on 10/5/04 by NotTooHappy]

A very sad day for the Rodney joke thread...

10/06/04: "I tell ya when I fly, I don't get no respect. I took one of those cheap flights, no frills. I finished eatin' and had to do the dishes. And I tell ya I got no confidence in the pilot. When he makes a left turn he puts his hand out."