Need your help. Might be homeless in under a month.

So sorry to hear of your struggles. I'm in the construction trade, so I know what it's like to work in an economy driven, unpredictable business. I'm no financial expert by any means and I doubt I can offer any helpful advice other than stay strong, stay positive and never give up. Could you possibly re-finance your house or take a second loan on it? Just throwing that out there, sorry if it's already been suggested. Best of luck to you my friend. Stay up.

a reply to: Ghost147

I knew there were some nasty people in this world. I thought I had seen the extreme, but apparently not.

I am also amazed at how people can ask where you are when it says quite plainly that you are in Canada, and that they all tell you to get a job, none of them "listening" to the double catch 22 you are in.

I want to add some thoughts about bankruptcy, adding that I am not a lawyer and we are in a different government scenario and things are always changing, but…About bankruptcy, we've done it, but we were half a million in debt and had no choice when the...never mind... but I would only do this (BK) as an absolutely last resort.

My concern is that if you aren't making ends meet, and you have good credit, that BK will ruin it and you are still left not making ends meet. And once you've filed, you are barred from filing for another 10 years or so, at least in the US. That's just food for thought. Having said that, and not to add to your catch 22, but something to keep in mind: The thing you want to avoid at ALL costs is to have any of your debts turned over for collection. THAT was what sent us over the edge. I was desperately trying to find a way to pay everyone off, but they were not looking for a peaceful resolution.

The people who loan you money, for the house, the car, the loan, etc., make their money on the interest you pay. You already know that, but we don’t have reason to think it through from their perspective. When they get whiff that you are getting in trouble, they raise the interest rate and let the other lenders know about it, so they also raise their rate. They may also demand immediate payment in full. I came up with a plan that I could pay off everyone if they would just stop the interest while we tried to catch up. Some were willing to do so for 6 months, but wanted a guarantee that we would continue with the high interest afterwards. Not knowing the future, I couldn't guarantee that, so they gave up and "wrote off" the debt.

Now, listen up, this is the part that was the trip to hell. None of our creditors turned us over for collection, but we didn't realize this. They had just written us off, due to hardship. But what happens is that other bottom feeder companies come along and purchase your debt in a bundle of purchased debts for pennies on the dollar.

What these "bill collectors" do is to contact you and try to "help you" with large payment plans, and that would be fine, but they also trap you into something called a "summary judgement" against you, which they will try to tell you is common and something you shouldn't worry about. I'm thinking it would be the same in Canada.

Anyway, it's the unfamiliar summary judgment thing that you need to fear. What this means is that they go to court and the court gives them the right to collect from you in the future, say if you do end up declaring BK, or if you die and they will be the first vultchers (sorry, I'm way too tired to look up that word so I hope you know what I mean -- those birds that eat corpses). But these bottom feeders will be lurking in your background even beyond the grave. I know because I tried everything, basically trying to do the right thing, as you are now.

I'm not sure if I am being clear, as I did not want to spend any more grief on ATS — my husband woke me up screaming twice last night as I was having nightmares of mean people coming out through their avatars! — and I haven't even showered yet and it's late, but a summary judgment is something that trumps bankruptcy, meaning those debts will not be discharged and will follow you like a stalker, and remain on your credit for life.

Here in the US, there are different types of BK and also there are, or used to be, government sponsored agencies that try to help you gather your debt into one payment based on income. They work with the creditors and yes, you may still have bad credit when it's over, but it's a different type of bad credit and they will help you try to rebuild it. I am hoping that none of this information will be necessary, but have it in mind and see what you can Google on your own. But watch out for the BK lawyers also. Everyone who seems to be out there to help you is there to make a buck off of you. That's the food chain.

You have been given some great ideas on your post. The best is to stay positive. I don't mean in the childish wishful thinking, or even in a deeper esoteric sense, although yes indeed to those. Sometimes life sucks and to see it otherwise is to delude yourself. But it helps to know that sometimes it doesn't suck, but that's not useful to the moment. As Gurdjieff says, “A full man does not understand a hungry man.” What I mean is more from a practical perspective:

When I was an employer, I learned to avoid anyone who even hinted at "damaged goods" so be positive on any job interviews. Also, as an employer, I can tell you that I've been on both sides of that desk. But rather than focus on yourself at an interview, think in terms of what the employer is seeking. I can tell you that the employer is probably exhausted, overworked, frightened at a business that is imbalanced, and is only thinking of how behind they are on everything. If you are positive and show that you understand their needs, and do so with a loving eye, they will see you as someone who is immediately useful, even if they are not sure how. The employer wants to know that you are there for them, if that makes sense. They don't care about what you've been through. Behind their corporate eyes, you might discern a frightened, eye twitching child. Be strong and immediately resourceful to them. "What I don't know, I can learn. I'm a fast learner. I'm also flexible, so I am sure I can be immediately useful somewhere." Just make sure, for you, no selling is involved. I'm with you there.

And yes, I seem to be the only one who gets it, as far as you're losing the other benefits, putting you in that catch 22. From what I read, that is a temporary scenario.

If you aren't already doing so, do start putting your belongings where someone else won't get to them. And look for buying some things in bulk. I had come up with all sorts of recipes, such as "food stamp tuna" even though we didn't have food stamps, but I did learn to make soup from a drop of bacon grease type of thing.

Make a written plan, as far as your basic, in your face, liabilities and time lines go. Right now you have a certain range of choices and limitations. But once this changes or that changes, your range of choices will change with it. You may forget to notice that your windows of opportunity are actually revolving windows. I learned that when we are under stress, we can make bad choices just out of fear, panic, or simple exhaustion.

a reply to: Ghost147

Okay, I'm sure I am overworking your energy, but let me add something that you might try to keep in the back of your head, since I've been where you are more times than you can imagine.

My husband and I would look at our circumstances and try to understand how we got there and what our choices were and the pros and cons of each choice. We would talk for hours on end, and eventually come up with a plan, just to wake up the next day and say, wait a minute, that won't work because...And the cycle would start all over again, ad nauseam. It was only later that I learned as a trader (the psychologists and neurologists study traders as it is considered one of the most stressful jobs due to how the brain works!) But what they learned is that a healthy brain can only hold onto 6 thoughts at a time. I have some brain damage, plus I'm older than dirt, so I think my own number is more like 3. But anyway, follow my thread of thought here. You come up with 6 ideas in your head you are trying to juggle, trying to solve this life crisis you are in. But when you get to idea #7, idea #1 falls out of your "thought range" if you will. Now idea #8 replaces idea #2, etc. I observed that when we "thought" that we had come up with a good plan, what it really was, was the last idea we had before exhaustion set it, so in the morning, being refreshed, that last idea was now the first ,with a fresh brain, and would be seen in a different light and it was deja vu all over again. We never got to a good decision and it was just happenstance where we landed that night. Once I realized this, I wrote down all the options and pros and cons of them and then tried to actually keep any ideas confined to 6, knowing the limitations of how our brains work.

I am not telling you what to think, but trying to offer some observations on how we think, and what I think might help you figure this out. Another thing I learned as a trader is regarding what to do when you have to choose between two bad choices, or any number for that matter. What you do is to think it through as best you can, as if you had chosen choice #1 vs choice #2, and then ask yourself, "What if I'm wrong? What if I choose this one and I am wrong, vs that one, and I am wrong? Which "wrong" can I see myself being able to live with the easiest? I hope that makes sense to you.

Anyway, PM me if I can help. But please watch the initials. I suck at initial talk. Good luck to you and your wife. I have disabilities also, and it super sucks because they don't always show and people without them have no idea how frustrating and emotionally draining and isolating these can be. I guess you could say, they have disabilities too but don’t know it.

And get some sleep.

a reply to: Ghost147

Declare bankruptcy. But I really have to ask...what job can you "simply cannot do"?

a reply to: WeAreAWAKE

OP explained he cannot do commission work or door-to-door sales work, social anxiety = terrible fit

originally posted by: IridescentPhoenix
a reply to: Ghost147
But with an immovable faith in God to take care of my needs, and I shall not want for anything, you may consider hitting your knees, not behind a dumpster, but your bedside.

Haha, I assure you that is not something I'll be doing any time soon. They may comfort others, but my view on a 'pray-to-able god' is beyond a negative one.

I realize you're new to the site, but if you've ever frequented any of the several religion-related forums, I'm sure you've stumbled upon my topics/responses to understand why.

Thanks for the suggestion, however

originally posted by: Joneselius
a reply to: IridescentPhoenix
I hope your situation gets better Ghost, I will pray for you, and ask our Bible study group to as well, if you could private message me your name and I'll pass it on to the group

Sent

originally posted by: The Arbiter of Lies
Sorry to hear about the situation your in comrade, I don't know if you have tried yet but security companies are always hiring, Paladin security has locations across Canada, and Guardteck Security is a better one even though it's only in B.C and Calgary right now, and as for Uber as I saw mentioned I know many cities have different laws pertaining to them (as for Calgary they just got denied the ability to work here) that's all I can really think of to try and help you.
So best wishes to you and I hope everything will work out fine for you in the end.

I did look at a few casino jobs that had security positions, but all of them required background experience, which I have none in this field. But, I will keep an open eye on those areas if ever there is one that doesn't require previous related work.

originally posted by: Siddharta
What was the difference between the estates guys? The first one only came back to ask for a lower price and never brought any potential buyer. The second one only asked us to clean the rooms, do some work in the garden and never brought one possible buyer. The last ones brought a professional photographer, let a consultant make an expertise, sent us a report about their actions every four weeks, talked with us about the possibilities, cleaned up the house themselves, when necessary and even shoveled away the snow infront of the house. They were worth their money!

Hmm, I will definitely consider that if there's no improvement. Like I mentioned earlier though, we've only just recently put the house on the market. Our Realtor certainly doesn't do what your final guys did, but we have had nearly 20 viewings in the span of a month and a half, just no offers.

originally posted by: ilikebooze
Not trying to be an ass, but if your in such a bad way that you have to give up your home and move your family into someone elses home, how do you have time to write a thread on ATS asking for advice?

Because I have no job?

I use this computer for more than just conversing on Forums. The majority of my resume's are sent through various online job-finder sites, and I have found more variety of jobs there than anywhere else.

Regardless of that, it is also a form of stress release, something in which I am in dire need of as I don't drink, smoke, or currently have the funds to do anything outside of the house (excluding run/hike), all of which don't take up 100% of my time either.

Even so, searching for jobs isn't a full time activity. I can send out all the resume's I want in a day, but in the end I have to wait for their responses (or possible lack there of).

originally posted by: ilikebooze
No offence but you need to be out hustling not sitting on your computer. Jobs dont come knocking at the door.

Perhaps you missed it, but I have stated previously that I've applied to over a hundred jobs. As said before too, I can't just pick up any job because my employment insurance is high enough that a low-paying job only kills my insurance and makes me the same or less money.

There are more factors here than your accused "sitting at home doing nothing and waiting for a job to come by".

Sorry, but your assessment is inaccurate.

originally posted by: ClownFish
a reply to: Ghost147

I knew there were some nasty people in this world. I thought I had seen the extreme, but apparently not.

I am also amazed at how people can ask where you are when it says quite plainly that you are in Canada, and that they all tell you to get a job, none of them "listening" to the double catch 22 you are in.

As expected from a post like this. I don't blame them necessarily, the internet is a pretty ridiculous place and there certainly are people out there who are bums and want everyone else to do things for them, or people who make posts like this for attention.

Nevertheless, I don't take their comments personally.

All I'm here to do is relieve stress and seek for potential, usable advice. Both goals have been achieved so far.

Speaking of which, thank you very much for your suggestions. We have taken a lot of similar steps already, such as the planning methods you've mentioned, but you've given me a lot of great information that I can use.

a reply to: Ghost147

No I read the OP. By hustling I did not mean applying for jobs, and again I don't want to come off like an ass. A job is not the only way to make enough money to pay your mortgage.

a reply to: Ghost147
You want stress relief? Listen to my idea and have a smile (though you could take it seriously).
First you borrow some money, fly to the UK. Say you are having a holiday. But don't fly direct. Fly into Southern Ireland, you have to do this as your passports would be scanned if arriving in England direct and this leaves a paper trail.
Cross the border into Northern Ireland (no passport needed). Then catch a ferry to Liverpool and enter England(no passport needed). On the way over the Irish sea throw ALL your paperwork (passports etc.) into the sea.
When you land in Liverpool travel to a big city, say Birmingham, and throw yourselves at the local authorities and claim refugee status. Say you've just entered the country illegally from Europe and you've been living in an ex-pat community in Syria and you've fled for your lives.
You'll get a house given to you ,rent free, you'll get more than enough money to live a comfortable life without working for it and you'll also get free health care.
Don't believe me? There are quite a few thousand supposed refugees running this scam as we write.
I am very sorry to hear about your situation and can only say try to soldier on and make the best of a very bad situation and hope as a family you can all pull together and work through the bad times.

a reply to: crayzeed

Haha. very intriguing. and England nonetheless! That would be nice

originally posted by: ilikebooze
a reply to: Ghost147

No I read the OP. By hustling I did not mean applying for jobs, and again I don't want to come off like an ass. A job is not the only way to make enough money to pay your mortgage.

I'm afraid I'm not naturally resourceful when it comes to 'hustling' outside of a legal job. I wouldn't know where to start, or how to keep it legal.

originally posted by: Ghost147

originally posted by: ilikebooze
a reply to: Ghost147

No I read the OP. By hustling I did not mean applying for jobs, and again I don't want to come off like an ass. A job is not the only way to make enough money to pay your mortgage.

I'm afraid I'm not naturally resourceful when it comes to 'hustling' outside of a legal job. I wouldn't know where to start, or how to keep it legal.

No one is naturally resourceful when it comes to making money. It is learned. You live in canada right? They love hockey in Canada, Go to a site like TTE trading and order 10 hockey jerseys whatever the favorite player on your citys team. You can buy them for 30-35$ each from there.

When you get them take them to a flea market and sell them from 90-100 dollars, You will sell all 10 in a day, and just turned 350 bucks into 900-1000.

While its not exactly on the up and up, people that you sell them too just will not care that you got them from China.

i am not saying make a career out of it, but geez at least try a few things before giving up your home.

originally posted by: ilikebooze
i am not saying make a career out of it, but geez at least try a few things before giving up your home.

Indeed, thanks for the suggestion.

We weren't too worried about selling the house as we were planning on doing it within the next few years as it was, however it's the lack of stability within these last couple months while doing it that really has us worried.

originally posted by: Ghost147

originally posted by: ilikebooze
i am not saying make a career out of it, but geez at least try a few things before giving up your home.

Indeed, thanks for the suggestion.

We weren't too worried about selling the house as we were planning on doing it within the next few years as it was, however it's the lack of stability within these last couple months while doing it that really has us worried.

Owning your own home is big deal, and I know as a man the last thing you ever want to do is move in with your wife's parents, God the horror...

I have made money buying and selling stuff my whole life. There is a reason vendors sell stuff at flea-markets and fairs, and street corners ,its because they make money. It really doesn't take that big of an investment to make some money.

And look I was not trying to insult you at all, but if/when I find myself in that situation I would be buying a couple basketballs and waiting at the airport here in OKC for Kevin Durant or standing in line at a signing so I can get him to sign the ball and sell it for 500$.

Or trying to get Bob Stoops to sign a football. I live in Oklahoma City but you get my drift. There is always something you can be doing to make some money.

a reply to: Ghost147

Hey, sorry if i say something mentioned earlier, but this thread is long enough.

If You have Internet connection, then U need seek out job offers what get paid off with simple data entry. These may be companies who make polls or so. They need not only phonecallers, but also typists.

Also, if u sit whole day on computer, try find and make some freelancing with numerous design protals and so on... cannot give any direct address here bec. my freelancing is stable on long practice, but i heard, this kind of sites were very popular. Look at imgur.com and post something cool with asking for job.

Best luck,

SaddledMummy

originally posted by: SaddledMummy
a reply to: Ghost147

Hey, sorry if i say something mentioned earlier, but this thread is long enough.

If You have Internet connection, then U need seek out job offers what get paid off with simple data entry. These may be companies who make polls or so. They need not only phonecallers, but also typists

I've considered something along these lines a while back, but it's excessively difficult to determine which companies are legitimate and which ones are scams.

Would you happen to know any credible ones?

You mentioned how you'd like to live off the grid. That's a trending thing out in my neck of the woods. Northern California still has affordable, remote and beautiful land available. I know a couple different guys who bought some cheap acreage and lived in trailers for a couple years. Believe me when I say, all you need is one successful season growing Cali cash crops and you'll be debt free. It's perfectly legal (after a simple formality with a Dr.)and normal round these parts. You can legally sell your crop to any dispensary in the state. I know many people who haven't worked a "real" job in years, if not ever. This profession lends itself perfectly to living off the grid. I know it would take an investment for some property and to get the operation going. It's not for everyone but something to think about if you got a green thumb.Selling home grown veggies at a local farmers market is a great way to get "in" with the local organic farmers and make some connections. Hope you find success, peace and happiness in whatever you end up.doing. good luck!

originally posted by: Tuomptonite
You mentioned how you'd like to live off the grid. That's a trending thing out in my neck of the woods. Northern California still has affordable, remote and beautiful land available. I know a couple different guys who bought some cheap acreage and lived in trailers for a couple years. Believe me when I say, all you need is one successful season growing Cali cash crops. It's perfectly legal (after a simple formality with a Dr.)and normal round these parts. You can legally sell your crop to any dispensary in the state. I know many people who haven't worked a "real" job in years, if not ever. This profession lends itself perfectly to living off the grid. I know it would take an investment for some property and to get the operation going. It's not for everyone but something to think about if you got a green thumb.Selling home grown veggies at a local farmers market is a great way to get "in" with the local organic farmers and make some connections.

Thanks for the tips

We are indeed looking into selling our crops and becoming certified organic farmers.

The main issue with achieving that right now would be my wife's medical condition. It kind of prevents us from spontaneously doing something like that and requires an excessive amount of preplanning, among other thing, to pull it off.

We should be able to achieve this within the next 5 years, however.

In the mean time we're just focusing on selling the house as quickly as possible and forming some sort of stability financially.

originally posted by: SaddledMummy
a reply to: Ghost147

/../ excessively difficult to determine which companies are legitimate and which ones are scams.

Would you happen to know any credible ones?

Hmm, polling companies cannot be scams, because they do polls, they need to be legitime at least at goverments. I know that kind of job opportunities may be available, because some survey forms (doors to doors) still filled with hands. So somebody need to type in these forms.

***

Anyway, there is a lot of options, ask for neighbors at least. I come from eastern Europe and there some "rednecks" do a lot of hard, but not bad payed work for local county government lead brush and weed destroying business. Also if u have a automobile, u can ask postman service occupation.

Then, when i lived in Western Europe rural areas, there was a lot of field works available, every seasonal. Ask for neighbors, this is easy, they need hands.

SM

originally posted by: ThickAsABrick

originally posted by: Ghost147

originally posted by: IridescentPhoenix
a reply to: Ghost147

Not to be crass, but if your seeking help for this type of serious issue on this site...you might want to internalize the obvious fact that you habitually make poor life choices.

Perhaps you should re-read the OP. The purpose of this thread was to vent, the secondary purpose was to seek help, and so far I've received a number of replies that have actually lead me to look into things I've never heard of.

Do you think this is the first place I came to seek for any sort of information?

I haven't exactly been doing nothing in the past year that I've been unemployed.

originally posted by: IridescentPhoenix
a reply to: Ghost147
Unless you want to do favors for gas money behind the 7-11 dumpster, then your motivation is to humble yourself, seek real assistance locally, and rebuild your life. Empires are built one brick at a time.

I'm on Employment Insurance. I'm at the top of the pay grade for it, so if I begin working a job that would make me less than my employment insurance gives me, I lose that employment insurance, and I make less per month.

That is the main issue here.

I could very well go out and get a job at mcdonalds and taco bell and work 7 days a week. But if I make less or even the same amount as I do on Employment Insurance, then I'm working for no reason at all.

Oof! I've previously seen some criticism by "trolls", but wow. There's a difference between someone looking for advice, and someone looking for attention. Within the last year the economy of Western Canada has changed dramatically and there are a few thousands of people going through a hard time. Uninformed criticism does not help.

You don't know me or what I've been through. Talk about uninformed...you haven't the first clue. I've been at rock bottom in some of the worst places in the world. What I've done is pick myself up by the bootstraps in faith and accomplishments, realizing I must become a master of my conditions and not conditions be my master. If you wallow in self misery blaming external circumstances for your plight then that's where you will stay. You cannot drive with your review mirror at 50 mph and wonder why you end up in the ditch every 30 meters. Coddle and boost all you want, misery loves company. I'm done throwing pearls before swine. Smile at the universe amd it WILL smile back, choose the other way........