The Waiting Game: Do You Feel It?

I feel very much like I am here waiting for something, but I submit this viewpoint. I feel as though "reality" is the issue. Mental blocks preventing me from seeing things as they really are. Mental blocks preventing me from "evolving" to my fullest potential. I believe small children see so much more than we adults do. Society and conditioning about what is "real." What we are supposed to believe is real. Here is my example. I look at a brick or rock wall and I KNOW, I just KNOW that I should be able to move it, punch through it, carry it, or just manipulate it as I wish. I KNOW it in my heart and head, but there is just this tiny nagging doubt in my mind that limits me. Someone once told me that the equation to life is Man + knowledge = God. We all create our reality, and we all live in the confines of that same reality. I wait for something, and yet I think that something is my own acceptance that I have been limiting myself. How do I unlearn 44 years of conditioning?!?

Perhaps I just confirmed my reservation with the other patients in the asylum....and yet, am I already there???

reply to post by Res Ipsa


It isn't that I hope to learn or discover "one thing" that will suddenly catapult me into enlightenment. I think assuming it works that way flies in the face of reason and all other experience personally. It's just that the total lack of certitude about anything results in a sort of limbo of doubt and, at times, despair. I believe this is what is referred to by some as the "dark night of the soul."

I agree that love likely cannot be defined but is more a subjective emotional state, or as you put it, a feeling. (Or in my case, an intuitive and blissful connection to everyone and everything else.) The problem is possibilities. It's possible that love as we experience it is our equivalent of a greater oneness of all things, including the divine and that we, too, are ultimately spiritual or divine in nature. That's a comforting thought and a possibility I consider. But it's equally possible (at least by my standards) that those feelings are just chemical, hormonal, and electrical activity in an organism which has evolved to experience them for various reasons, either currently extant or vestigial. So those feelings, no matter how powerful they are, never translate into faith for me. They do translate into action and compassion, because those things bring me contentment and some modicum of peace. But not faith that they really matter in any objective sense beyond the mind's need for them to.

As for anger, I don't know that I have any anger. I'm not angry at anything or anyone. Sad at times, sure. But I make a conscious effort to be aware of whatever pain I may be suffering, and to deal with and experience that rather than converting it into anger that hurts others. I'd rather suffer personally than make others suffer with me, which is all I've ever found anger accomplishes (determination, which I think some people label anger, is a bit more constructive.)

As for wanting to seek the understanding of love on my own... oh, how much I do want that. Understanding and validating that last vestige of belief I cling to is my sincerest desire, and all I aspire to. And trying my best to act in accordance with the aforementioned compassion and empathy it inspires is the only act of anything even remotely resembling spirituality I have retained that feels at all real when I engage in it. Because even if it's just my brain, at least someone outside myself benefits from it and their own existence becomes easier and less painful hopefully.

Despite that lack of faith, I do engage in what most call prayer. Even though I don't know if anyone or anything is listening and for all I know I'm talking (or thinking) to myself, I pray for greater understanding, I communicate my loving intentions to the universe and to whatever may be receiving my words, and I open myself to whatever answers I might receive. And I sit in silence, sometimes for hours, contemplating all these things. I do this on the off chance that there really is someone or something so omniscient and loving that it can hear me, and cares. These practices, if you can call them that, have been a big part of my life for many years now. If that isn't wanting to understand in the face of all doubt to the contrary, I don't know what is.

But I still lack faith and am filled with doubt, and I still have no answers that I can consider definitive or fully trustworthy. I know you wish the best for me and don't want to see me trapped in what you may perceive to be an illusory prison of my own making. And I'm open to that possibility too, and sincerely appreciate your caring. But it doesn't lessen my doubt.

I'm just being honest about my experiences. Peace.

reply to post by tripsick


If you are no mortal then what are you?

Originally posted by jacygirl
reply to post by karen61560

 

First of all....hello everyone!! And thanks OP for such a fabulous thread!

Now....just my thoughts...as I too have felt this 'waiting' as long as I can remember....
To give a different perspective....and to answer Karen (quoted above)....
Does ANYONE here wonder....if we are waiting for everyone else to catch up?
To reach the 'awareness' level that we all seem to be experiencing?
jacygirl

If someone ever takes the time to sum up this thread, separating the wheat from chaff,
your stating that it feels like, "we are waiting for everyone else to catch up" has to be included.
It truly is one of the not clearly expressed under currents of many of the quality posts.
thank-you

To be honest I've felt it for a while...I'm only 20 but something in me is telling me there's no point seeking out a long term career...or a long term plan (except my relationship), I mean I'm employed now but I don't know. It all seems a bit pointless after learning how corrupt the system and our leaders are haha

reply to post by AceWombat04


I was wrong.
You do not have a ton of distraction or static blocking you. You are much further along, seems to me you have just a single rope holding you back.
The only thing you said that I would challenge you on is that you believe that love is "subjective" it isn't.
Our attempts to define and describe love IS very subjective.
Not to confuse things further, but your description of love fits with mine like a glove....not that two same observations turns subjective into objective, but at some point if enough people observe the same thing, the same way, it makes a strong argument for objectivity.

You don't need my help and most importantly you didn't ask for it. ( I mentioned before that I'm not a fan of proselytizing)
What ever is blocking your certitudes you will discover and address. I am just providing a piece of data for you to weigh, consider, assimilate or discard.

The "sadness" feeling concerns me a bit because I don't know how that fits into the equation, I don't experience much sadness...I don't count my crying when Brian Piccolo dies in Brian's Song as sadness. My real world experience with sadness is event based and seems to last no shorter or longer than is appropriate for the situation.

Subjectivity and Sadness seem to be the only two possible significant dispositives

reply to post by Scrafty


I am nineteen...You are not alone. My smiles barely seem genuine these days.

reply to post by conz1992


Why would you want to be a slave anyway?

reply to post by FlyInTheOintment


Your post brought on goose bumps. I've had similar dreams, waking visions, and such all my life.

And your parting paragraph brought about misty eyes.

Thanks for your post Fly. Most posts move me one way or another, but very few bring about automatic physical reaction.

Peace,
Cirque

reply to post by Deny777


I am not totally sure if most know the "Ides of March" rather then me, myself and I. I noticed on other forums speaking of the IOM. I recall posting on my facebook page and a few did not get it. For myself' that was the first thought I had when the annoucement.

Like all else, we have to wait and see.

ETA: I had another post from a member that gives more insight on the subject,

ATS

More info from another post her from David Icke's site

For those waiting..

I can assure you that the inevitable clash between culture and technology is going to happen. It might be in the next year, or in one hundred years, but its definitely coming down the pipeline. It all depends on how well controlled the release of technology is in proportion to the growth of the culture which contains it.

We have seen very minimum growth in culture compared to the technology, and the constant flow of released knowledge can only be mitigated to an extent. If anything, technology has become a new religion in many ways.

I know it might seem better to leave it vague, so that many can identify with it that much more easily. But the clash I speak about is going to be happening.

reply to post by visitedbythem


So far what you have said has made the most sense!

reply to post by FlyInTheOintment


I am not from this world either...I have also had strante visions and prophecies of war too. The meek shall inherit the Earth!

reply to post by conz1992


I feel the exact way. I've debated going ahead and starting college again but I do feel It is pointless.

Throughout this thread I have been considering to post some speculations as of what is to come.
Somehow, I am afraid to say it out loud.
First of, because English is not my native language.
I doubt if I can get the message across, or that it will be tainted with a lot of noise due to this language barrier.
The second reason for me being hesitant, is somewhat foolish; I'm afraid to jinx it, if you know what I mean.
This is because my speculation might be more of a 'wishful thinking', of what I'm hoping for to happen.
Stupid I know.

Let me just think this one through ...
I might get back on this one...

Cheers.

Originally posted by Serdgiam
For those waiting..

I can assure you that the inevitable clash between culture and technology is going to happen. It might be in the next year, or in one hundred years, but its definitely coming down the pipeline. It all depends on how well controlled the release of technology is in proportion to the growth of the culture which contains it.

We have seen very minimum growth in culture compared to the technology, and the constant flow of released knowledge can only be mitigated to an extent. If anything, technology has become a new religion in many ways.

I know it might seem better to leave it vague, so that many can identify with it that much more easily. But the clash I speak about is going to be happening.

To put this in the spiritual terms which seem preferred by most on this thread;

This clash will force us to essentially choose between Love and fear. Even a test of a weaponized platform, of particularly advanced technology, could lead to the destruction of life as we know it. Though, it is this very ability of massive energy release and efficiency that can allow us to no longer be controlled so greatly by our energy needs.

The choice is between using the technology (even current technology, right NOW) for the growth and betterment of ALL humanity, or the assured destruction of the same ecosystem. Spiritually, this can easily be looked at as the final battle between good and evil. Though, it is in the best interests of even the most selfish to choose prosperity and growth, rather than destruction (for what should be obvious reasons). The issue is that so many are entranced by numbers in a bank account to see that those growing numbers are directly indicative of how much weaker the sources of that wealth are becoming.

There certainly is something coming, and it has been for a while. Technology will force us to choose paths, as a whole, and we will walk down whichever path is chosen by the masses (and not the fringes). Every individual alive is responsible, and in that way, are here for a specific reason. Through that same technology, we also (like I said before) are given the ability to have a true voice without third party representation...

So.... today I lost my mind for a few minutes.... couldn't answer a couple of easy questions correctly.... i was confused and dozy in those few minutes but hey.... it happens....

I sat on the tube.... watched as workers came and went.... I was at one point going to say out loud 'wake up' but didn't....

I am now back at my place pondering on what may come tomorrow....

you know you guys will all be singing a different tune once you see the towers i speak of trying to claim peace and an alliance. The devil IS HERE. MAN and there is nothing biblical about it in the sense that you christians are wrong with your beliefs, you read a rewashed new book of a god that is real and you assume his some dude chilling in the heavens who made everything.... NO. They are aliens from Orion. And we are in grave danger because the war between the Pleiades and Orion is REAL And we got caught up in the last one with the great flood. All your jaws will be droppin when you see first contact like im saying. Followed by the horrors shortly after. These are the truth of things.

reply to post by TruthxIsxInxThexMist


It is possible that in the same way technology grows, we can groom and choose our own cultural story. As it is now, it is the other way around, the cultural story defines us. Most arent even aware of it.

Its possible that along with the preparation for a very real clash, that some have been attempting to grow society in a way that can actually responsibly deal with having such great power. Simply because, regardless of technology, it is a more efficient and prosperous way of life for everyone. Technology will simply push the issue that has existed for centuries.

While perhaps not directly apparent, I would suspect seeing this all coming to a head would give a large feeling of anticipation.

Originally posted by z00mster
Throughout this thread I have been considering to post some speculations as of what is to come.
Somehow, I am afraid to say it out loud.
First of, because English is not my native language.
I doubt if I can get the message across, or that it will be tainted with a lot of noise due to this language barrier.
The second reason for me being hesitant, is somewhat foolish; I'm afraid to jinx it, if you know what I mean.
This is because my speculation might be more of a 'wishful thinking', of what I'm hoping for to happen.
Stupid I know.

Let me just think this one through ...
I might get back on this one...

Cheers.

Oh, you tease, you.

Share! And I never would have guessed English was a second language....you write beautifully.