Need help forgetting an ex

First of all let me say I,m sorry that you find you find yourself in this position,been there a few times myself and ,to trot out the old cliche,the only true healer is time,really in a few months you will be stronger, at the moment I know that is impossible to imagine,but take it day by day,make a conscious effort not to dwell on the break up and ,if possible,don't be on your own at this time, and in no time you will get there.
Good luck to you.

Just a bit of information on how I have done it before.
I always think of the bad times, the arguments, the fall outs, we've had rather than the good ones.
It just made it a lot easier for me.

This may not help you, but it certainly did me. Rest assured, the feelings will diminish in time.

From a much older one, and keep the chin up, there are plenty more fish in the sea (mad fish I know!!)

Vertex

reply to post by Unvarnished
Been there too, buddy

I felt that many things left unfinished and I couldnt move on for a year. And worst was that I knew that I will never be over it. So, see her and take care of any unfinished stuff with her if theres any and you should be free to move on. But it all still takes time..
You can also get some hot chicks to play with..you know the ones that dont clinch to you too much
Anyway, I wish you good luck!

reply to post by Unvarnished


it really depends on how you broke up
but if your angry, your not going to forget easy if your holding a grudge.

you have to change the way you look at it
be happy for the good times and try and learn something from the experience

Time....

It will take time. There is nothing you can really do to forget someone you love, that is why it's love

The whole "find someone new" is just crap and it's not fair to the other person and it always makes you feel bad later cause your heart is with another.


Good luck.

reply to post by Unvarnished


How sad that it should immediatly go to computer games.
Here's the key:
Drive down to mexico and get yourself hammered in the worst bar you can find. By the time your family pays the ransom you won't give a flying bat S#@t what happened with your ex, Hell you'll be lucky if you can remember her name, or your own name......

If your to squeamish for the hardcore approach then try copious amounts of internet porn and go out to pick up chicks but like, don't care about how well you do and treat em like you would your old socks after the internet porn.

Having someone try to kill you is always a great way of forgetting pretty much anything, try that too.

Goodluck

reply to post by Unvarnished


long ago Ringo Starr sang: "..got to pay your dues if you want to sing the blues, and you know, it don't come easy.."

worry not my friend, it's all part of life. as an old fart, i would advise a young person to get right out there and start making new memories with someone else.

life is too short. you are not going to be young and beautiful forever. grab all the tail and get monkey wherever and whenever you can. because someday the Love Bug is gonna bite you...it's gonna mess you up...you won't be able to think straight...and next thing you know you're married. a/k/a walking dead. after the hormones stop running over-time and you come to your senses, things change and go downhill until you either get smart (divorced) or you play the waiting game, staring at each other for years, each waiting for the other to die. screw that.

seriously, get out there and have fun. right now you can do things you won't be able to do later in life, and even if you can, not many sweet young things want a balding chubby middle age man unless he has a big fat thick wallet.

there is also a method of concentration you can read about online called "be here now". designed to help young college students, many who are away from home for the first time in their life, and they are surrounded by distraction and unable to study. "be here now" teaches focus. you can apply that principal to avoiding thinking about your ex, if it comes down to that.

meanwhile, get on out there and get some sweet stuff. enjoy yourself my friend. that's what we're here for.

The best way to get over some one, in my opinion, is to get under some one new

I feel for you man, I really do. Just last night I had my heart ripped out too. But on to the point, Unfortunalty there is no easy way to forget about the one you love, There are ways to help make it easier though. Go out with your friends more often, it makes you feel less alone and a little support from the boys never hurts. Also go to new places and do new things, avoid places and activites you shared with your lost love that will only make you remember and thats no good. And mainly when your up to it start talking to other girls, I wouldnt rush this step you really want to make sure your ready to try again. Other than trying to pick up the pieces of our shattered hearts only time will heal us.

reply to post by Unvarnished


Get a new one, or just let the time pass by sooner or later it wont matter anymore

i wish i knew im still trying to forget mine and its been over 5 years since we broke up and now ill have two exs to forget just dumped my new boyfriend

Been there done that.

Guys tend to dwell on the past too much. There's a big world out there with plenty of opportunities.

The best and quickest way to forget about an old flame is to get a NEW flame to distract you !

You wouldn't believe how quickly you forget about the old ....when you have something new and different nearby !!

So get off ATS and find yourself a new one and make sure you're looking for something different than your last.

reply to post by alysha.angel


Thanks a lot everyone for your advice I really appreciate it, I'm definitely feeling much better, I guess its the first day that's really hard, I just have to concentrate more on myself and with everyone's advice I'm just gonna focus on the crappy parts of the relationship. Its amazing how I was so blinded with this and in the end, she was merciless while dumping me. Now that I think about it, she doesn't even deserve to be with me.

reply to post by PapaEmeritus


Ah man sorry to hear that, pm me if you wanna talk about it, break ups suck really bad, its like a hurricane trampling over everything and you're just looking at your home speechless.

reply to post by foxnewz


I am angry, I feel like if I'm not angry I am letting my guard down and just letting her slide. I guess its a pride issue for me right.

reply to post by Vertex


I have not contacted her since the day we broke up and I'm not planning on contacted her ever again. I want to save my dignity, thanks a lot for your advice.

Don't forget...because you can't forget. What you need to do is forgive, know that this was the best path for you, smile and thank God for putting you on the right path, and move on

Don't forget...because you can't forget. What you need to do is forgive, know that this was the best path for you, smile and thank God for putting you on the right path, and move on

I was with my ex for three years. What helped me to get over her the most was the realization that who she had become after she had cheated on me was a different person than the one that I had loved for so long. The girl that I had loved would have never done what she did to me. That realization, along with a change of scenery (moving to a different state), and a few months time helped me to completely let go emotionally. I still think about her from time to time but the thoughts are not romantic.

It takes a lot of commitment to get over an ex. It'll be hard at first, and it will take time, but as long as you persevere, you will in the end be better for it. Whatever happened between you two, it ended for a reason and there's someone better out there for you. The more time you spend dwelling on the past, the less time you have available to find the right person to be with. Move on asap, improve yourself in the mean time so that when it's time to change, you will be ready for it. Change is as perennial as the seasons. Pain is temporary,

I know exactly what you're going though ,, i went through a break up with my 1st love months ago,now and then i forget him a bit,but then a song,memories or certain things make me remember about him, and i get depressed .
what has helped me is time ,and video games like cod ... making a diary online and just letting it all out ...
try not to listen to love songs that remind you of her cause trust me , it will hurt :/
i guess you will never forget her ,but over time the pain will not be the same ,and you will be free