Owners of AboveTopSecret.com Announce Their Candidacy For President of the United States.

I'd flag and star this if it mattered. Can't be bothered. To many pages to read.

reply to post by 12m8keall2c


What would be worse than Crakeur being head
of the Federal Reserve?
Mamabeth being head of the Federal Reserve.I
have already proven that I love to spend other peoples'
money. My husband can confirm this little detail.
He has threatened to take away all my plastic,car keys
and check books.

Well ya got MY vote. At least you were honest about it.

Very nice announcement and transperency out the gate.

Best morning laughs I've had in a while in the morning.

Thanks for that...

GO ATS!

You have my vote... but, April Fools?

reply to post by SkepticOverlord

Originally posted by beezzer
Dang! I already voted for boondock-saint! Oh well, I guess since I used to live in Chicago I can have a few dead relatives vote for you guys.

I just checked in with Chicago.

Now I realize you just started your campaign.
No one has voted yet.
Elections won't be held until next year.

But The Chicago Tribune, and both democrat and republican polling stations (they have just closed) are calling you guys the winners.
Congratulations!

Originally posted by SkepticOverlord

Originally posted by niceguybob
Make SURE all campaign T Shirts, Buttons, and Pens are Made In America.

We already have a complex manufacturing ecosystem in place that takes full advantage of the low-cost of off-shore production and materials cost, while still allowing us to say "MADE IN THE USA" on each and every campaign item.

For example.
The material for our T-shirts is source through Madagascar.
The patterns are cut in Singapore, except for the XXL sizes which will be cut in Taiwan.
The thread is from Korea.
The shirts will be sown in Taiwan, except for the Mediums which will be done by workers on their spare time in the Apple factory in China.
Screen printing will be completed in Mexico, except for the Red which will be sourced by experts in New Zealand.
The "MADE IN USA" labels will be applied in Canada (which is close)
Then the final shirts will be folded in Topeka, Kansas so that we can still say, "MADE IN THE USA."

And the camapaign calls will be handled in India for questions and telephone fundraising

Originally posted by whatukno
We must see these two's birth certificates.

You know... I was reading over TEAT's platform on Skeptic & Springer on the Issues and I realized that their birth certificates don't really matter. I mean, they may not be American citizens, but I think we should be focusing more on other issues and possibilities, don't you agree? Like whether one or both of them might be... you know... gay... and I've heard stories (I'll confirm and get back to you) that one of them is an....*atheist* And I'm not sure, but I think the other one has been known to participate in weird "religious" practices ...

So, I was thinking that we should check out these other scenarios before we even worry about the birth certificates... I'm sure you agree. And then I realized that it doesn't really matter. None of it matters! I finally see the light and nothing matters!

So let's party like it's 2011!

I vote for Springer - no wait I vote for Skeptic Overlord - no wait

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/ca23e53c960c.jpg[/atsimg]

i think that it is quite unfair and a double standard to end other members april fools threads like this one: www.abovetopsecret.com...
yet keep this one open


skeptic overlord's post:

posted on 4/1/2011 @ 04:53 AM this post reply to post by PeasantRebellion It's a joke, and these types of jokes have taken a very bad spin in the past: real WHO IS lookup

you are afraid of bad spin yet when i do a google search of THIS threads title i find that much of the alternative news site have picked up this joke, don't you run the risk of having this site lose credibility by having this joke story picked up?

www.godlikeproductions.com...

extraordinaryintelligence.com...

theendtimesarehere.com...

scifipop.com...

thedebrisfield.blogspot.com...

reply to post by Blaine91555


this is the job that TPTB has already accomplished.

are you all American aware of what is really going to happen next ???

you don't really know these guys and their intentions. you don't know what they really want. they are just the owners. they don't own you , do they ?

Originally posted by Springer
For the record (I need to get used to saying that I guess), if we're elected, I want to make it perfectly clear that ALL hours of the day will OFFICIALLY be HAPPY HOUR. Not that it matters of course.

Oh, and golf lessons will be the training focus of all military boot camps.

Thank you.

Springer...

Will prostitution be legalized throughout the country along with Drugs ?

reply to post by Benevolent Heretic


While working out the core platform of the new T.E.A.T. party, the original idea -- and it's still a very good one -- was to bas our platform and campaign promises based on all the most-flagged threads here on ATS. Not only would that result in the most transparent and honest campaign in history, but for the first time in history it would allow for voters to establish the desired campaign and party platform of their party.

Then we realized it wouldn't matter... so we did the next-best thing...
[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/0a0c015afa06.jpg[/atsimg]

When Obama ran, we had incidents of New Black Panthers at voting sites.

Will there be greys, reptilians, or chemtrails at sites to encourage you guys?

I lol'd by the time I read T.E.A.T party xD

do it anyway, you may be right.

Originally posted by Mayura
This may be a clever April Fools gag, but mark my words... there really will be no 2013.

Just watch......

Major change is coming and it's beyond what you low-level conspirators may ever understand.

Care to make a friendly gentleman's wager?
I bet you $10,000, that there will be a 2013.

On January 1, 2013-
If we are still here on this spinning rock, then you pay me $10K.
If all has been destroyed, and mankind is erased from existence, then I shall pay you $10K.

Gotta have campaign slogans with the free pens,tshirts and buttons.

They need work...

"When the blank hits the fan and you know you are going....
Let the ATS men keep an eye on your glowing."

"When the scared have stopped reading,and you know that your toast,let the ATS guys keep an eye on your roast."

Weak...

I can do better.

Who said comedy was easy? Obviously it's hard for me.

Back to work. sigh