Suicide And The Aftermath.

This was really creepy.
I just found out tonight an hour before I read this, that my boyfriend's friend shot himself in the head last night.
I know he was over in Iraq, and I'm not sure what he did, but from what my bf told me about being over there I know that he probably had a lot of issues he couldn't deal with anymore. I know a lot of suicides think that their lives are crap. But try living every single day seeing images of people you shot in the head, children you ran over because you can't stop for anything, dogs eating people on the side of the road... that's some f'd up stuff to deal with. You can't forget that as long as you live. I can see why someone like that would kill themselves.
Now, someone who kills themself over a boyfriend/girlfriend, or they just think their lives 'suck'... I would probably call that selfish.

reply to post by ThichHeaded


Nobody understands what goes on in the mind of a depressed and suicidal individual until they experience it for themselves. Nobody understands the feeling of being trapped inside your own mind; trapped in a world and in a life that you wish to escape. Nobody understands the sense of urgency a suicidal individual feels to escape these feelings at all costs.

That's what it comes down to. Nobody understands. It is ignorance to the suffering others go through with depression.

Depression is not the down mood you feel after a stressful day at work; it's not the loneliness you feel after a friendship or relationship comes to an end; it's not the upsetting and pessimistic moments you have when life does not go your way.

Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. It is not something that can be controlled by the individual on their own. It is not something you can solve by buying yourself shiny new toys or listening to your favorite music.

It is something you suffer with until you choose to either get it corrected medically, or until you choose to end it permanently.

You and I are in the same boat when it comes to depression and Asperger's, man. I know where you're coming from on this, so I do not have anything more to add to this post because you pretty much summed up everything I believe as well.

Starred and flagged.

Originally posted by Moose318
If you stumbled upon a person contemplating suicide, would you help them?

I had another cousin I was very, very close to. She tried to kill herself via OD, and called me. She wanted me to take her to McDonald's. She really didn't, she just wanted to be FOUND so she could be saved. I told her I was sleepy and I'd take her the next day. (She was silly, she liked to go get a little dollar cheeseburger and coke (nothing else, lol) and just sit there and talk. She could drive, but always wanted me to take her.) She was in critical care for weeks.

When I was about 35 my aunt called me and said she was in the house with a gun and wouldn't take to anyone but me. I flew to her house to talk her down.

My sister called me all crying and her speech was so slurred. I thought she had taken some pain medicine or something. I was mad at her for something that had happened, so I was kinda short and hung up. That was another 'save me' call I didn't recognize and she nearly died.

One guy I knew was always trying and he'd set up those save me situations. One day he jumped off the bridge while a group of friends was there with him. He didn't expect river junk to catch him I'm sure, and he drown.

A lot of people that try succeed without meaning to, or they really mess themselves up.

If there is nothing beyond this life, suicide is acceptable because nothing matters, not even what people think of you, since you won't be around to know it, and they won't be around either soon enough. Do some people really think being called a pussy matters to one contemplating suicide? Is it selfish if you have no friends or loved ones?

On the other hand, if there's something beyond this life, suicide can have repercussions. In many NDE cases suicides seem to experience something terrible. As much as a burden life is you must just carry forward with it.

I wish more people knew that if they just kept themselves awake for a day, then slept, that usually that can really reset the serontonin in your brain. We don't discuss sleep fasts in this country much. They are free and don't cost like zoloft. They will tell you they are bad for you, or that they'll kill you. (They will if you go TOO long, but you'd about have to have someone keeping you awake to do that anyway, I'd think.)

reply to post by ThichHeaded


I have been in your shoes.
I have walked in your footsteps.
I know this misery you speak of, and I can feel your pain.
I know it is not one thing that is so torturous to you, but it is a complex multitude of reasons that inflict this pain unto you.
You are not alone in this world.
You ARE a very special, important being and your existence has much worth on this rock we call home, whether or not anyone else can see it.
It may be hard to understand at times and may be too overwhelming to ever see a different path for your life.
It is not you who is wrong, it IS the world around you.
You are feeling so alone at times because of the way the world is, and it is not your fault.
You are not the reason for turmoil here, you are part of the solution.

From this day forward you CAN live without the pain.
You can forget about those who do not understand you and you can make a decision as to what you desire to achieve in this life.
You may or may not need help with this but you are the only one who will know.
You may need some professional advice and it may take a while to find someone who you are comfortable enough to speak your mind with, and that is ok.
It may seem like a burden to get through this, but your reward will be greater then anything you will ever imagine.

It IS as bad as it seems right now and I know this.
But I also promise you that I am positive you can completely change your mind on this subject and never look back.
You will move forward and you won`t ever feel less of yourself for what you have contemplated and done or tried because nobody will ever know you better then yourself.
Many will know you well, and you will touch countless lives many of whom you will never know, but it is your existence that is needed in this f*d up world.

I tell you these things because I swear I know you, although we have probably never met.
You ARE my brother and I`m here to help you, as you have helped me already and don`t even know.

Get out a pen and some paper and write things down when you are feeling a bit, or even most overwhelmed, but not for anyone else to see, These are your thoughts and when you can visualize them in the physical form it will make a lot more sense. Keep these thoughts for yourself and for no one else. You may never look at those pages again but you will keep them forever and for this you will be even stronger.

You have so much power inside of you that can, will and does change the world around you.
You are here for a very important reason and it is not to hurt or suffer or bring pain to any other.
You are needed very much on this planet.
Our world is far from perfect, we need people like you because people like you are people who truly do care or else you would not be making this post.

My name is Chris and you can contact me via u2u for my email address so we can be friends.
I would really appreciate that, thanks.

Originally posted by cowman
A lot of you need serious help, and need to meet new people (outside of cyber space).

Get of the computer, and get a life!

You are as ignorant as they come.

It's not about meeting new people or "getting a life". Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. It is not something that is easily corrected, and it is certainly not something that is solved by standing up from your computer chair and venturing outside.

If you had the opportunity to experience what we (people with depression) go through, you too would see the blind ignorance your post strongly omits.

Fortunately for you, though, you were born with a brain that does not have this chemical imbalance. You were, however, born with a brain not capable of comprehending a rather simple but serious mental disorder. So I guess it just goes to show that all people have their own strengths and flaws.

Get off the computer and go educate yourself.

Suicide is a LONG TERM solution to a SHORT TERM problem.

Yes, that is simplified, but it is TRUE.

Things might seem impossibly hopeless right now, but things do change. They change in ways you never expected. And, they change when you least expect.

Like Tom Hanks' charcter in CAST AWAY, he states that he was going to kill himself, but for some reason, he didn't, and that he kept going because: "You never know what the tide might bring in." --or something very close to that.

Hardship builds character. No one can claim to know what pain anyone is going through. In the end, *everything* a person is going through (the painful *everything*) leads them on a journey to WHO THEY WILL BECOME, *prepares* them for the FUTURE ---prepares them to become the person who will meet their true love.

Weather the storm.

The best way to weather the storm is to IMPROVE YOURSELF in any way you can. Walk. Exercise. Work-out. READ. Read self-help. Actually, read Dean Koontz novels (his early works). VOLUNTEER at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen or HABITAT FOR HUMANITY. --Do things for those less fortunate than yourself, and you will see that there are a LOT OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE IT FAR WORSE THAN YOURSELF.

The best remedy for hopelessness? Help people who have it worse than you do.

Your efforts will have rewards of their own.

DO NOT sit and sleep and become complacent. DO NOT let LAZINESS overtake you. GET OUT THERE. Move and shake. VOLUNTEER. Help others. People need you.

Things will change.

Things will get better.

And then, eventually, you will be HAPPY.

reply to post by PETROLCOIN


Bravo! Thank you for so eloquently expressing what a person who truly has dealt with depression feels like. I agree that until you have lived it you really don't know. It is not at all what some people think it is. One sometimes just can't even get out of bed let alone find the energy to do something they have lost total interest in.

Kudos to TH for broaching a taboo subject and bringing it to the table for all to discuss. I read once of a study done regarding suicides by doctors, the stigma even today involved with having a mental illness and how 300-400 doctors commit suicide a year, a rate higher than in the average population. (even though they have easy access to prescriptions.)

If anyone hasn't read it I highly recommend the link near the bottom of page 2 that I posted. Not only does it discuss the suicide of Judas from a different perspective but also suicide from a variety of perspectives and societies.

May love be with you always.

Originally posted by PETROLCOIN
It's not about meeting new people or "getting a life". Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. It is not something that is easily corrected, and it is certainly not something that is solved by standing up from your computer chair and venturing outside.

I knew I would get a comment like this. Chemical imbalance in the brain right? Like ADHD? Give me a break! Show me they proof that it is a chemical imbalance in the brain!

If you had the opportunity to experience what we (people with depression) go through, you too would see the blind ignorance your post strongly emits.

I have. And I have experience suicide twice also. First my best friend by hanging when I was only 17, them my team mate when I was 19.

I am not a novice to depression having gone through it my self. Thankfully, I got into sport, I made friends and I was able to live a normal life....thats all it takes..

None of that chemical imbalance bull#!

Originally posted by cowman
I am not a novice to depression having gone through it my self. Thankfully, I got into sport, I made friends and I was able to live a normal life....thats all it takes..

Then yours was situational depression, not clinical depression. There is a difference.

Situational depression is a depression caused by your situation; your living conditions; your standard of living; your overall happiness in life.

Clinical depression IS a chemical imbalance. Clinical depression is serious and is NOT corrected through making friends and playing sports. It must be dealt with medically and psychologically in order to treat and possibly cure it.

Please do a little research before you open your mouth. I live with clinical depression every day, please do not come to me acting as if you know what I deal with and what the solutions are. You have no idea what real depression is because you have not experienced it. Please keep your useless advice and pathetic, insensitive comments to yourself.

reply to post by ThichHeaded


Can we who are not suicidal ever truly understand a suicidal mind? Is it possible?

Wouldn't we have to 'go there' to really understand?

I think we would have to be suicidal ourselves to properly know what/how you are thinking.

What we do is we 'try' to understand, we 'think' we understand, and we want to. But non-suicidal minds can't.

I can't imagine the depths of absolute despair a suicidal feels, how do you help someone in this frame of mind?

I wish I knew how

reply to post by doobydoll


I gave you a pretty good layout of what a suicide is like..
Take some time and volunteer at a suicide hotline place or something..

That is a good way to help you learn what suicides are like... It would also show you what some go through.. But this job is not for someone who has empathy towards others.. cause it will crush you...

reply to post by PETROLCOIN


I hate when academics milk people by telling them depression is an serious illness. They are simply making excuses for the weak in society so that they can get as much money off of them as possible by throwing them on medications or in therapy. They say it is a serious illness that is brought on by some type of circumstances...ie...loss of loved one...and so on. Everyone goes through that...its called grief. You get over it...yet some tend to wallow in it. It is not a chemical imbalance in the brain.....because it is not real...it is only a theory...no actual evidence of its existance. So how can Clinical Depression exist as a disease...if the main "supposed" cause is chemical imbalance which is only a theory not a proven fact.

They say that only drugs and therapy can help these people...BS...get out and enjoy life...studies have shown that fresh air...exercise...and active social life can have the same effects on your brain that drugs would. Many famous leaders or people have suffered from depression yet they managed to deal with it...not by drugs ..but by living. So instead of this boo hoo for me...telethons. Get off your butt and live...enough of this sitting in the corner crying for yourselves....I had more to add...and could have been a little more eloquant in what I wanted to say...but this whole depressive crap is disgusting and should not even be called an illness...just like obesity and alcoholism..they are all bunk illness's created to give the lazy and pathetic reasons to blame something else...rather than deal with it themselves...and all for money.

Originally posted by ThichHeaded
I am very much into suicides (I have tried to do it in the past)

Why do people say the suicide was stupid, he could have thought of a better way. and so on and so forth, blaming the suicide for what happened.. I am curious to venture if anyone knows what its like to be on the edge of things to want to even contemplate that act? I am wondering why they wouldn't think to why the person would get to that point.. What made the person do what they did..

(1) Contrary to what you "feel" Suicidal thoughts are more common than you think.
-"Feelings" of inadequacy shape a FALSE and fantasy based world entirely on perception...

(2) Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem.
-NOTHING is worth taking your own life over, period.
-*I* know what it is like to be on the edge, but then again...I should know.
-*I* put myself on that edge to begin with...Which brings me to my point:

Take Responsibility for your actions, perceptions, reactions and overall outlook on life.
Your questions in this portion are full of crying out for help and exemplifies your failure
at taking responsibility for your action(s) It's always easier to B-lame other people.

Taking your own life=being incessantly
-Seflish
-Narcissistic
-Fails to give a # for the permanent scarring you WILL put your family through.

-A mother and/or father being strict doesn't denote a loveless household.
-They do the best they can, and even if they didn't...It is NOT your fault.

Originally posted by ThichHeadedPeople say its a cowards way out, or they were being a pussy, or they gave up..

How do they know this? Do they know that living for some is way worse than going through the bullsh*t
They feel they are useless in this life, and that nobody can give a crap less on what happens to them..
They feel it is better to not be here than go through everyday torture of living a fake life that they don't even want.. They see things are broken and there is no way to fix it.
They look at life as a burden instead of a gift,
They have so much pain that the thought of death is a relief rather than a problem.
I think about suicide a couple times a day.. Honestly the only thing that keeps me here in this dark miserable life is the fact that I see a really cool sunset now and again..

Make zero mistake here...
LOOK at the above....Do you see how many THEYs are there?
To a suicidal person EVERYTHING is about THEM.

And THIS is the problem.
Too much sensitivity, not enough character/self confidence=underdeveloped children
that grow up and feel the entire world is against them (selfishness)

I've wanted to give up and take the Chicken # way out of life.
It's easier to QUIT than to struggle. Struggling (and all that encompasses it) build character....
And makes a boy become a man.

You need to learn you can only CONTROL what YOU can control.
Stop having silly expectations and focus on the important things in your life.

Originally posted by ThichHeadedMy question states this..

Why do people think a suicide is something they are not? I am sure they were going through more torture in life to even contemplate death..

If you dare make a thread like this you better be willing to back it up with truth...

So....

Do you have a mother? A father?
Do you have siblings, cousins?
Do you have any friends (I don't)
Do you choose to interact, or withdraw socially?
Do you have clothes on your back, food on the table and a roof over your head?
You obviously have some sort of Personal Computer AND the internet.
Do you play video games, have a console?
Do you have an ipod, a touch, a smartphone?


See, while you were busy being so infatuated with your #ty situation (you feel hurts you so much)
I'm out there...living on the cold pavement, begging for anyone to notice me, to shelter me
from the storm, the rain THE WORLD. I haven't my own clothes. I don't get to eat
what I want, and I don't ever get to eat daily. I don't have health insurance, I don't have a job.

I had to give up my son for adoption because I failed as a parent and could NOT provide
him with a stable/secure environment. I lack the capacity to love because I see
everyone out there with family, friends...smiling with one another as they pass me by...
oblivious to my yearning for their attention...


Quite frankly your feeling suck and need some adjustment proportionate to
your situation. I doubt you're suffering as much as someone with NOTHING, or
as someone who weighs 50lbs under due to malnutrition, has no shelter
and fears of a starvation based death.


There is always someone out there LESS fortunate than yourself and YOU
piss on their very existence IF you have much more than these kinds of people
yet you FAIL to push yourself, self motivate yourself and create confidence based on
yourself.

Confidence isn't about being born with it.
Confidence faces adversity and still looks at failure in the face and is determined
to supersede it with mind power.

It's all up to you.
The world sucks.
The world is beautiful.
The world becomes what YOU see it as.

If you want to kill yourself and you WANT to see only the # in the world...
You have missed out on how beautiful life can really be.


The fact of the matter is:
Suicidal people don't talk about it...They just do it.
They don't hold out for cool sunsets...


So, instead of taking your own life...
Why not sit down, and talk about it?
I'm willing to bet I can debunk EVERY single excuse a suicidal person can make

Originally posted by ThichHeaded

Originally posted by Moose318
If you stumbled upon a person contemplating suicide, would you help them?

Who me?

I would tell them do what they think is right.. But they must feel the situation should require much thought...

But I am sure they already know this..

I wouldnt tell them not to do it or do it... I would let them make thier own mind up on doing it or not..

Most of the people who cry suicide chances are they are attn whores and dont really wanna die..(GO ahead say I am one of these people) the people you have to worry about are the ones who do not say anything or make snide remarks about death... This fits me well... I do it all the time..

Cause for every lie there is a bit of truth to it and just smacktalking a situation does not mean its real..

Answer your question?

I suppose it did...Like I said I have been there to the edge many times in the past. If you make it out of that and can heal enough, theres nowhere but up. Hard lesson learned, maybe not learned. You are not going to like this reply but I am realist. If you are going to spend the rest of your life feeling sorry for yourself and consider suicide frequently, then more than likely at some point you will try again. So...Do it with style, Go skydiving, enjoy the ride down but make sure you pencil dive at the end and get it done right. You dont want to be living like a vegetable if you fail. If I were to come across you attempting, I would try and at least try yo help you as a human being, after all we are all connected. If however you are someone that is known to me and you keep on threating to kill yourself, at some point I would just get pissed, because at some point you got to either s#it or get of the pot, so to speak. The worst thing someone can to do someone that cares about them is to put that person or people in constant ups and downs with yourself. Humans are energy and what you put out has Very strong effects in your inner circle. Whether you have one friend or 200. No one deserves to be tortured just as yourself and put into a constant state of flux. So either do it by going off somewhere by yourself and be alone when it happens or Man Up and find a damn reason to live and look forward to the next day. I am done with this thread, I need to go to bed, because I got a child to make breakfast for tomorrow and make sure that he at least has a fighting chance to be happy and value the simple things in life.

It's all an Illusion

ThichHeaded-

My father shot himself in the backyard four months ago, late at night.
He had some problems, but they weren't anything that couldn't be dealt with if he'd been a bit more patient or if he'd just really tried to stay calm.

That's the essence of why a lot of people feel suicide is stupid: It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

With my father, I felt like he really acted out of selfishness. It felt more like a big f*ck you to my mother and me.

Of course a suicide is painful to those close to the person because they cared about the person that decided to end it all.

Although my father was retired, he made little contributions through small actions that helped my mother and me get through life. He might help us bring in the groceries or he might come and help us do some yard work for half an hour. When he killed himself. Those nice little things went away with him. Those things reminded us that he loved us.

I suppose I felt like he broke an unwritten contract that we would all stick together to take care of each other as a family, regardless of petty differences. The point is you don't just take your life away from yourself. You take it away from others that actually need you to be around for their own well being.

That's the point. It's not just about you. Suicide is about walking out on others--and then making them suffer forever for your actions. That's why suicide is selfish. The people that do it don't think about the people they hurt that are left behind.

Your sister that talked you out of suicide was a great help to you, right? Think about what it would mean to you and the rest of your family if she decided to kill herself. Think about how you would feel. That's what you leave other people if you go through with it.

What does Buddhism teach first and foremost? Life is suffering.

Everybody is struggling. You exist to make a few other people's lives a bit better, too. If you kill yourself, you will make others suffer more than they do right now. If you think I'm trying to make you feel guilty, you're right. It's not just about you. When my father killed himself, it felt like the whole family had taken a major hit.

reply to post by kerazeesicko


So you know I am not boohoo ing anything.. I am showing people a part of life many do not get to see...

Getting out and enjoying life,, I have stated that I love sunsets and love to see them alot.. I get out.. I take walks bla bla bla..

Being near people is not a luxury some of us have.. Some of us do not because it is a problem for us.. we feel uncomfortable and dont even want to be near anyone.. Some of us make it so we have as little contact with others as possible.. This is not choice it is how it is..

There are problems with people yes some are diagnosed more than they should but some people are just purely F'd up like that.. Petrol and I are one of them cases appearently.. Although I did not want that part about me coming into this post..

Anyway maybe you should research some things like he said before you keep making a fool of yourself.. cause it really is not good for your image.. Then again what do you care, this just the interwebz..