Suicide And The Aftermath.

I have a few question about this subject.. I am very much into suicides(I have tried to do it in the past a few times.) I wonder why people blame the suicide case when they succeed in their endeavor of suicide..

Why do people say the suicide was stupid, he could have thought of a better way. and so on and so forth, blaming the suicide for what happened.. I am curious to venture if anyone knows what its like to be on the edge of things to want to even contemplate that act? I am wondering why they wouldn't think to why the person would get to that point.. What made the person do what they did..

People say its a cowards way out, or they were being a pussy, or they gave up..

How do they know this? Do they know that living for some is way worse than going through the bullsh*t(Mods Please dont edit this.. I Cant think of anything else to put here.. Word wise.. Only other word I thought of was F.) that life gives us.. People who are generally good(look at my post history) cant understand why things go they way they go.. They feel they are useless in this life, and that nobody can give a crap less on what happens to them.. They feel it is better to not be here than go through everyday torture of living a fake life that they don't even want.. They see things are broken and there is no way to fix it. It is impossible for them to comprehend things that they can not even understand or even think of doing..

They look at life as a burden instead of a gift, They have so much pain that the thought of death is a relief rather than a problem. This is some of the reasons a suicide does what they do..

I think about suicide a couple times a day.. Honestly the only thing that keeps me here in this dark miserable life is the fact that I see a really cook sunset now and again..

The 3rd time I tried suicide I had an incident happen where I ended up talking to myself. I was told by myself that I wasn't allowed to kill myself and that I had things to do.. I told me that I would know when this would end and that i would feel that my time was up.. March was when i learned that i don't need to be here..

I don't think a suicide should be harassed and called names for an act they do.. I think people should consider why some things happen and for what reasons it came along...

Anyway...

My question states this..

Why do people think a suicide is something they are not? I am sure they were going through more torture in life to even contemplate death..

reply to post by ThichHeaded


Things change. What you see in your life is such a small, small sliver of reality. It is like destroying a beautiful garden because there is a spider in it. What you perceive right now is such a tiny spec of what was and what will be in the life God gave you.

Try to live in the moment ONLY...the sancturary of now...forget the past, forget the future. You might find life really isn't unbearable. Try reading Eckhart Tolle "A New Earth". He thought of suicide everyday as well until he started to realize some things about our relationship to reality.

I understand where you are coming from. Raises questions such as: If the suicide is a selfish act because it leaves loved ones behind, why is it not a selfish act to want to keep somebody here that is beyond miserable?

I think if someone is so bent on ending it, leave a message of some sort to explain why. So at least there would be some sort of closure for the left behind. True, they won't be happy, but if ultimately that's what one wanted to do, who are they to try and convince you otherwise? Maybe people would be bothered by the fact the suicide didn't seek professional help before committing such an absolute action. If he/she are sure all avenues of possibility have been optioned, especially from the loved ones point of view, then maybe it wouldn't be looked at as such a nasty thing.

PS - If you believe in reincarnation, you will need to come back and suffer all over again until your goals have been met. Why go through it twice? OR maybe we just blank out and it doesn't matter. All depends on beliefs. Regardless, I don't think you will suffer in hell for it, since this can be a hell in and of itself.

I think most people have contemplated suicide at some point. I am sure some more then others. I do not judge suicides. I will say suicide does not solve anything or relieve you of your troubles as those contemplating it hope. You get sent right back into similar circumstances until you learn to work through the problems that brought you to commit suicide. Some people will commit suicide in two or three lifetimes before they realize it solves nothing and finally resolve to face thier problems.

reply to post by ThichHeaded


I have never tried to commit suicide, but if you read my posts you can see that people have tried really hard to get rid of me this way.

I do not think its the cowards way out, as i am a coward type person, and i have never ever tried it. Life is rough and peopel are very cruel, but i would never ever give these peopel the satisfaction to see me do this, and plenty want and wanted me too.

Anyone who has never been so low, would never understand, but people are pure evil, and anyone trying to push people to suicide should be in prison for manslaughter fact.

If you have lost all faith in humans there is always animals and faith in a god that does exist i am sure. Faith will get you through.

Originally posted by ThichHeaded
I think about suicide a couple times a day.. Honestly the only thing that keeps me here in this dark miserable life is the fact that I see a really cook sunset now and again..

Might I recommend you speak to someone about this? Not necessarily a doctor, but a friend, anyone. Talking helps more than you think, it might help them understand where you're coming from and conversely might help you understand them.

My question states this..

Why do people think a suicide is something they are not? I am sure they were going through more torture in life to even contemplate death..

Death of someone you know is hard enough to take in as it is, it's often too much for your brain to take in all at once, you sometimes try and find someone/something to blame. Then add in that the person commited suicide. They may blame themselves for not spotting something was wrong, maybe if they'd have been kinder/more talkative/had more time/other. They may also blame the person that commited suicide, if they'd only have asked for help maybe things would have been different.

I personally have attempted suicide once when I was 16. I came close a second time when I was early 20's, which was a nervous breakdown. You think no-one cares, you think that doing so will make those around you's life better, that they wont notice, that it wont matter to them once you're gone, that no-one could possibly understand your torment, that no-one would help ...

... Truth is, we affect more people than we realise, people care more than they show, we would hurt a lot of people if our lives were to end. The second time, I realised this and as my night shift ended I contacted 2 close friends who came and met me at seven in the morning. I accepted that I needed help. They supported me, took me to the doctors and I was on medication for a year. Medication isn't for everyone but the first step is accepting that you need help, realising that accepting help isn't a sign of weakness, that you're not alone.

That's not to say that everything is perfect now, far from it, I still have my off days, you never truely "get over" depression, but you learn to distract yourself from it, find ways to make it easier.

So don't be too hard on the people that say that suicide is a cowards way out, unless they have been through something similar, they will find it hard to comprehend.

- Phoenix

PS: If you do ever need someone to rant/talk to, my door is always open

Originally posted by hhcore
PS - If you believe in reincarnation, you will need to come back and suffer all over again until your goals have been met. Why go through it twice? OR maybe we just blank out and it doesn't matter. All depends on beliefs. Regardless, I don't think you will suffer in hell for it, since this can be a hell in and of itself.

I also have heard that you get some type of helping hand along the way... after a suicide is completed.

I dont care about this life.. I am worn out.. I have tried being normal, I have tied being me, I have tried being nothing, I have tried being everything..

Nothing seems to work and how life is.. I try and fail.. I get ahead and fall way back.. I think(more feeling) that i do not belong here..
I am so much of a pussy to do this right now..
The time i talked to myself till march was almost 12 yrs.. In that time I didnt try and suicide because I wasn't allowed to.. I was told that I am not allowed and that I would know when it was time..

One night in march prior to my other suicide post or i think after I decided to get drunk(natural depressant) and play with a gun, My sister called me and wouldnt get off the phone with me... so i couldnt do it..

But feeling of not wanting to be here outweighs what can be here...
Notice above only reason I am here.. and that isnt much..

Sad thing... had they just held out a little longer or reached out and not tried to figure their problem out on their own they would probably be alive today Possibly helping someone else to walk through the same thing.

Suicide isn't cowardly..its actually pretty brave. However, it devestates the hearts of the ones left behind that really did care about you...you know the ones you thought didnt care about you.

People that commit suicide with chronic pain ...that is a whole new ballpark and i cannot make a call on that one

When I was young, I truly had no one on my side. I hated myself and was in a living hell. I saw no point in moving forward.

That was then. I lived through it and now have a wonderful family who love me, peace in my soul and love of life. Before taking such a drastic step off the cliff, give yourself 5 years to think about it. Things will change.

I certainly don't think anyone who does it is "bad". Not at all. When you are in a bottomless pit and see no way out, it might seem like a logical thing to do. But it's not,,,,because, like I said earlier, you have no idea what the next 50 years of your life will bring you. Don't you want to find out?

Suicide is natural selection at its finest. Less of the self absorbed, whining, "poor me" group. More space and resources for the rest of society. When you self terminate you should expect people will ridicule your memory, why would you care? Do you really think funerals are for the deceased?

I have had plenty of relatives suicide, they were idiots. They never saw those few pleasures we earn in life. Seeing our grand kids, being there to help guide the young through the experience hard won within our own lives. Even the few good things that life begrudgingly sends our way are being tossed aside by these people.

I can't say how "tough" these other peoples lives were or were not. I know that it has been my experience that the people killing themselves aren't worth the time it takes to think about them. Everybody's life is tough. Everybody's life is painful. Sure it would be great if it wasn't, but it's up to each one of us to take up the effort to change things. Imagine if Edison said, "Damn it's dark, I'll just kill myself, so I don't have to fall down in this dark world."

..Ex

reply to post by v3_exceed


Sounds like there's not a whole lot of compassion in your family.

Originally posted by phoenix_zephyr

Originally posted by ThichHeaded
I think about suicide a couple times a day.. Honestly the only thing that keeps me here in this dark miserable life is the fact that I see a really cook sunset now and again..

Might I recommend you speak to someone about this? Not necessarily a doctor, but a friend, anyone. Talking helps more than you think, it might help them understand where you're coming from and conversely might help you understand them.

I have tried this and no help, It sucks talking to people because they think they know best.. And a couniler just sucks worse...
I spent a yr went through about 24 different ones and couldnt put trust in any of them...

... Truth is, we affect more people than we realise, people care more than they show, we would hurt a lot of people if our lives were to end. The second time, I realised this and as my night shift ended I contacted 2 close friends who came and met me at seven in the morning. I accepted that I needed help. They supported me, took me to the doctors and I was on medication for a year. Medication isn't for everyone but the first step is accepting that you need help, realising that accepting help isn't a sign of weakness, that you're not alone.

So I should decide to stay here so I would not hurt these people? I should go through more hell than what I am going through now? I should just make them happy so I should just deal with my BS? In all fairness thats just F'ed up..

That's not to say that everything is perfect now, far from it, I still have my off days, you never truely "get over" depression, but you learn to distract yourself from it, find ways to make it easier.

I have been dealing with this for a long time.. Like i said, the pill incident and the gun incident was roughly 12 yrs apart.. My time is here because I feel it that I do not need to be here..

So don't be too hard on the people that say that suicide is a cowards way out, unless they have been through something similar, they will find it hard to comprehend.

Part of life is dealing with things, they shouldnt brush it off as the person being screwed up or a coward...
There is more to a suicide than what people think.. They should if they even cared about the suicide try and figure out why.. what led up to it and understand why it happened....

- Phoenix

PS: If you do ever need someone to rant/talk to, my door is always open

I am fine on my way of thinking.. But maybe we can chat about things...

reply to post by v3_exceed


Man that is a very heartless post.

What percentage of people do you think are empaths, as you clearly are not one.

reply to post by v3_exceed


My point being made is in the post here..

Thanks for showing my point so well..

I have a few comments for you but rather no get banned for them.

Originally posted by Gamma MO
reply to post by v3_exceed

 

Sounds like there's not a whole lot of compassion in your family.

How much compassion do these suicides have for those they leave behind? Try telling a 6 year old girl her mother loved her but killed herself because.... she didn't want to be around everyone anymore?

Self termination is a hugely selfish thing to do. I am the first to help people when they ask, the first to go out of my way to create opportunity for other people. But they have to want to make their lives better. I freaking guarantee that if most of those would be suicide people had to live my life they would have killed themselves a long time ago.

The reality is that we aren't really on this world for us. We are here to interact, to help or hurt others. When we eat someone else goes hungry, when we "have" someone else doesn't. So sure, call me heartless or whatever you like, but I simply do not have compassion for people who "chicken out" at the expense of others. How about a little compassion for those people who would have had their lives improved by that same person who killed themselves.

..Ex

Originally posted by ThichHeaded
reply to post by v3_exceed

 

My point being made is in the post here..
Thanks for showing my point so well..
I have a few comments for you but rather no get banned for them.

Why would someone considering suicide care if they get banned? If you feel that you have NO IMPACT on the things around you, so whats the point? You believe people should care about suicides? How about suicides care about the havoc they wreak when they selfishly destroy the lives around them? Or do those lives count for nothing?

Suicide is and remains the most selfish single act a person can commit. You absolutely guarantee that you will NEVER help another person ever. And for this..you expect compassion from me?

..Ex

Originally posted by v3_exceed

Originally posted by Gamma MO
reply to post by v3_exceed

 

Sounds like there's not a whole lot of compassion in your family.

How much compassion do these suicides have for those they leave behind? Try telling a 6 year old girl her mother loved her but killed herself because.... she didn't want to be around everyone anymore?

Maybe you should find out why this happened instead of saying what you did.. More into learning why would show you why things where put in place for this to happen..

Here is a quote for you from a TV show I used to watch..

"I can't believe Kim tried to kill herself:
"Ya but imagine how much pain she was in to try what she did."
Think about that for a minute..

Self termination is a hugely selfish thing to do. I am the first to help people when they ask, the first to go out of my way to create opportunity for other people. But they have to want to make their lives better. I freaking guarantee that if most of those would be suicide people had to live my life they would have killed themselves a long time ago.

Sure if we were to compare lives we all all be poor pity me.. I dont care who had a worse life than who.. its the point of what happens after a suicide and why people assume what you do apparently..

The reality is that we aren't really on this world for us. We are here to interact, to help or hurt others.

To hurt others. Then by your logic it fits that a suicide is supposed to be here to help others learn a lesson, pain loss, grief whatever.. and to hurt.. by suiciding in the 1st place..

It is nothing more than someone you love saying F off pal.. Just a suicide dont come back... that I know off.. NDE's are excluded from this however..

Originally posted by ThichHeaded

I have tried this and no help, It sucks talking to people because they think they know best.. And a couniler just sucks worse...
I spent a yr went through about 24 different ones and couldnt put trust in any of them...

Yeah, I never got on with councilors, works for some people, not for others.

So I should decide to stay here so I would not hurt these people? I should go through more hell than what I am going through now? I should just make them happy so I should just deal with my BS? In all fairness thats just F'ed up..

That's not what I am saying. Instead of saying "my life is hell" work out what it is that makes it hell, see what things you can change and what you cant change. Instead of seeing it as one big mess, break it down into smaller pieces that are more managable. Try and get some sort of routine and ways to distract your mind when you start to feel down. A book, a video game, excercise, anything really

Part of life is dealing with things, they shouldnt brush it off as the person being screwed up or a coward...
There is more to a suicide than what people think.. They should if they even cared about the suicide try and figure out why.. what led up to it and understand why it happened....

You could say that if the suicide cared about the people they left behind they'd have tried to get people to understand what they were going through. It's all swings and roundabouts in the blame game.

What takes more courage: going through with the deed or choosing to live and face things?

- Phoenix

Originally posted by phoenix_zephyr
You could say that if the suicide cared about the people they left behind they'd have tried to get people to understand what they were going through. It's all swings and roundabouts in the blame game.

What takes more courage: going through with the deed or choosing to live and face things?

Wouldn't you think a suicide trying to deal with things as they were(are) is enough to show they care? They are trying to figure out everything to not do it before they actually do it.. They try every route before they go for it... Trust me on this...

When you fill a cup past its limit you cant keep filling it...

"What takes more courage: going through with the deed or choosing to live and face things?"

From where I stand I feel that actually suiciding take more courage.. Imagine jumping off a bridge knowing your going to die, or playing with a gun that you know might have a chance in not killing you, or OD'ing and not dying and spending time in the hospital with charcoal in your stomach getting rid of the crap in there..

There is always a chance that people wont kill themselves..

140,000 people a yr try suicide, 40,000 kill themselves so statistics dictate that if one tries they are more than likey not to succeed.

There have been millions of people depressed enough to commit suicide and for different reasons. Some reach out and decide to try medications. For many, this has been their saving grace. It truly depends on the situation and the person. For some, it is something as simple as finding someone to be there for them, to acknowledge their pain and suffering, to understand, to offer a diversion and show them their potential.

To call someone who is suicidal a coward is wrong. I would imagine it would take great courage to have to face that point. To lack compassion says a lot about a person.

I knew two girls who committed suicide, both by hanging. One was 13, the other 11....it broke my heart and that of my daughter.

The 11 yr old I didn't know that well, but apparently she was being bullied at school, but I think there may have been other stuff going on with her home life as it was all a bit strange.

The 13 year old, as well as being a friend of my daughter was also our neighbour, we don't really know why she killed herself, she seemed happy, was popular, had loads of friends and although her mum didn't have much money, she obviously loved her daughter very much and they got on well together.

What made this case so bad, was the way she was found, she'd clearly not really thought it through and I don't think she intended to kill herself, she was possibly just hoping for attention and I think perhaps she may have had something on her mind that she thought she would get into serious trouble for (I won't say what I think it was as there was no official disclosure, probably to protect the other party, but you can probably guess!) It was horrific though, her fingernails were bent right back and there was blood all down her legs, so it seems like she was possibly trying to raise her arms up to remove the noose, but sadly once you've put yourself into a noose like that, it is almost impossible to get back out of.

Sorry, but even thinking about this upsets me, not only did a mother lose her daughter and her siblings lost their sister and her friends lost someone really special, but the thought of her doing this and then suffering horribly in the act is just so painful, it is difficult to contemplate. What was so bad? What did she perceive was so awful that she couldn't go on? These are questions that those of us left behind will never have answers for.

I have used the experience to talk to my daughter and tell her not to worry about anything ever, things may seem bad, but they are never that bad and that every problem has a solution and as she was so devastated by her friend's death, she understands that the pain and suffering of those left behind is just so immense that she would never contemplate suicide as a solution.

So I would not so much judge a person who committed or was contemplating suicide, just ask them why they feel that it is the only solution and to think very carefully about the people they leave behind, who are left feeling bereft and like they have obviously let the person down, and who will question themselves forever, thinking "Why?" "What else could I have done?"