Suicide And The Aftermath.

Originally posted by LAinhabitant
reply to post by v3_exceed

 

If suicide is selfish, then what is unselfish?

Well, this is an easy one. When I was younger, my wife and I had our first child. I was working 18 hrs a day falling further and further behind in debt. I would come home, and naturally we would fight about money and our lack of it. Things were really bad back then...even when our trailer (yup mobile home kind of trailer) got broken into and our few possessions at the time got stolen, and when the thieves came back for what little was left over there was no reprieve. Then our second child came along, and would not stop crying day in, day out. Wife had been on the pill the whole time, but we got 2 kids anyways. I could have left. I could have abandoned the wife and kids, or I could have killed myself. For those that have never heard a colloq ridden baby, it's non stop stress on top of stress. What was being unselfish? Coming home, and tucking in the little turds. Enduring what I had to to make a better life for the family and for myself.

Eventually, with work and perseverance life did get better. Doing the right thing, not for oneself but for the people who count on you, for the people whose lives you touch, that is unselfish or selfless.

..Ex

Aftermath...
Loss, anger, resentment and in some cases complacency..but only for a while as those left behind tend to get on with their own lives..time does heal and memories fade...and the dead can't come back to make ammends or learn or provide comfort to those left behind..

Interesting because as I was reading through these post and wondered what the suicide rate was in third world countries ...where life is incredibly hard!!

Originally posted by LAinhabitant
I empathized with others who did but never understood how profoundly depressed and all encompassing these thoughts can be to a person no matter how hard they try not to have them, or how they try to think positively.

Here is a typical day for me..

I wake up.. **Fudge wtf am i still breathing**(fudge used as subestitute for?)
Go about my crap day come to ATS.. read on how postitve the planet is..(notice real point in living? just browse the news on any site and you see how grand life is.)
Decide to eat... or something..
a constant thought on wtf am I doing here, why am i here, what is my purpose, wtf is wrong with me, where tf in life is there suppost to be something fun, all kinda crap like this..
Then i talk to someone i rather not be near, then hop on ats for more positive news..
Then start thinking about things, how screwed up people are, why is there nothing around that is good, and so on and so forth..
Then goto sleep..
Then wake up and repeat the process, Oh and looking for some crap job that i will more than likey hate to get fired 4 weeks later because they felt like firing me.

This is a typical day.. want to pity me meh go for it.. But this is some of the things that go through my head on a daily basis that makes me feel i should be elsewhere than be here..

This planet like you said is nothing but garbage and the people on it thinks they know better than everyone else with no real honest idea on why some things happens for whatever reasons.. They would rather assume that the person is just that f'ed up to not give a crap and to hurt others around them for some stupid act they decided to do because they felt like it..

See this is the thing. March when i played with a gun, I thought about that for about 2 months, pro and conned the whole time, slowly working myself up to doing it.. i shaved all my hair off so i can look ugly as possible when i suicided, why because why be pretty in a place where people will remember you as trash anyway..

But then again that is being self centered........

Originally posted by ThichHeaded
Here is a typical day for me..

I wake up.. **Fudge wtf am i still breathing**(fudge used as subestitute for?)
Go about my crap day come to ATS.. read on how postitve the planet is..(notice real point in living? just browse the news on any site and you see how grand life is.)
Decide to eat... or something..
a constant thought on wtf am I doing here, why am i here, what is my purpose, wtf is wrong with me, where tf in life is there suppost to be something fun, all kinda crap like this..
Then i talk to someone i rather not be near, then hop on ats for more positive news..
Then start thinking about things, how screwed up people are, why is there nothing around that is good, and so on and so forth..
Then goto sleep..
Then wake up and repeat the process, Oh and looking for some crap job that i will more than likey hate to get fired 4 weeks later because they felt like firing me.

This is a typical day.. want to pity me meh go for it.. But this is some of the things that go through my head on a daily basis that makes me feel i should be elsewhere than be here..

In that scenario my only suggestion would be to break the chain, take a break from the daily routine that obviously leaves you feeling depressed or even more so than you do going into it. (?)

If coming onto ATS, reading the news, or whatever leaves you with a sense of 'why bother' then don't do it for a day or three.

- take a hike
- go for a long walk instead
- do something other than that which obviously depresses you

I'm by no means a psych but, to me at least, the possible answer to your issues seems to lie in breaking out of a routine, the routine that apparently is the sole or primary cause for feeling the way you do. ()?

Just some food for thought, a pause to ponder if you will

All the best...

reply to post by 12m8keall2c


I have been like this prior to ATS, I used todays life as an example..
20 yrs ago watch the news and so on.. its not ATS thats fing with my head, its life in general noting worth seeing that is postive anymore.. really..

Its my personal life a few things I am leaving out because it is not sake of discussion or just cause i choose not to.. but alot of things, small stupid things to big bla bla things..

Its all just a noose tightening around the neck of someone who is way tf off from normal... ya know..

for the record I am not blaming ATS for how I think and feel and things like that.. I blame society for how they treat one another and how we interact with one another..

it is seen in everyday life... Do you understand?

reply to post by ThichHeaded


Make a point of doing one good thing each day ...people, animals, environment ..no matter how you feel..just one good thing no matter how small!!..will it change the world? probably not...will it change you? possibly...what goes out comes back....just one good thing!!

reply to post by shuck


I do alot for others, I pick up strangers when seen on the side of the road, I used to run a site as a community service, I am active in things that should be changed..

I see these as act of kindness that goes unnoticed.

Originally posted by 12m8keall2c

I guess what I don't agree with is the idea that it could have been avoided if only 'they' had reached out or accepted 'help' from others. There are far too many dynamics involved to simply wrap the sum total into any one 'package', if you will. (?)

Sometimes, due to mental health issues that have gone either unnoticed or undiagnosed, as well as in cases where the individual may not have had readily available access to familial/friend's support due to their specific situation or location at the time.

An unfortunate scenario no matter how you look at it, with the ultimate answers to said questions, queries and contemplations lying solely with those who've succeeded.

This is very accurate. No amount of out reach will dissuade a person who is committed to killing themselves. No amount of "I've been there" will be accepted. Advice falls on deaf ears and the cycle repeats. When it comes to mental health issues, that is entirely a different matter. I don't mean the chronic depression that is often claimed as an excuse. I'm talking about the " I cannot make logical decisions" kind of mental health issue. For those there are the institutions, but they can be as bad as the mental illness.

The chronically depressed people are usually exposed to lots of psychologists and psychiatrists where they get their drugs, so there is the opportunity for help, just not he help they desire. (that's where my exception comes from for them)

The reality is if you want to be loved by someone..be lovable, if you want to be successful put everything you have into it and don't quit ever. If you want to be helped, help others and you will find in their successes your own. But for a suicide person to sit and whine that life isn't fair and choose to do nothing to make it better just won't work..ever. I do agree that this is something that we will simply never get to completely resolve until people realize the power they really possess over their own lives. They can choose, but they have to want to.

..Ex

reply to post by ThichHeaded


You misunderstood. That, along with the TV News, etc. was but one example.

The core point being to breakaway from those activities or routines that apparently leave one with such a doom and gloom outlook on life or even day to day situations and circumstances.

I find myself having to do the same from time to time... 'lest the stress and anxiety of such take hold and compound the situation even further.

That's all.

Originally posted by ThichHeaded
I do alot for others, I pick up strangers when seen on the side of the road, I used to run a site as a community service, I am active in things that should be changed..

I see these as act of kindness that goes unnoticed.

.... and good on you for doing so.

especially the acts of kindness that seemingly go unnoticed, but they don't.

your inner self notices/knows and that in and of itself has to prove or provide some degree of 'uptick' in overall self-worth, feeling of having done right, etc. .. 'least it does for me.

who cares if no one notices or makes mention of the tire change for someone elderly or in distress ... just smile and go about your merry way knowing all the while ya did good.

I have a few suggestions the might help. Not knowing all your circumstances I am just going to put out everything I can think of. My wife had depression for many years when we were first married and her mom committed suicide and it has deeply effected her and she contemplated suicide also.

Anyway first of all get off all processed foods as much as you can. Especially white flour and sugar. If you are a junk food junkie I guarantee you that is a big part of your problem. try to eat whole foods and whole grains etc. eat organic where you can. Grow a garden if necassary and its good therapy. f you drink soda quit and go to juices and water with no added sugar. If you have to have sweetener in anything use Stevia or Agave nectar.

Get regular exercise if there is any sport you enjoyed doing in the past start doing it again force yourself if you have to. Exercise gets the endorphins flowing and you will feel better. Even if its just taking a walk or take a Tai Chi class or other martial arts or yoga.

Go down to your local health food/herb store and get a bottle of St. Johns Wart and go through the whole bottle according to the directions. it may help you clear your head and feel better.

What hobby did you used to enjoy? Start doing it again force yourself if you have to. Music, art, or what ever etc. Also get a pet if you don't have one. A dog or cat can be a great comfort and caring for them can give you a sense of satisfaction too.

Find someone that needs some help or volunteer at a homeless shelter or old folks home or the local school or where ever. Helping others will help you realize your purpose here on earth and that your life is not worthless. I know you may not feel like doing anything at all so force yourself. Loose your self in service to others and in the things you enjoy and you will find yourself. Give it a try what have you got to loose?

reply to post by ThichHeaded


They will be noticed ...they are also noticed by you....don't expect a pat on the back by people ..I know it would be nice ...but know you are doing the right thing in a world of s@@t...that makes your presence in this world valid ...and beleive it or not worthwhile ...one thing I have learned...you can do lots of good things in this world and most go largely unacknowledged...and then you think ..what is the point...but keep doing them anyway ...then one day you do one thing...and make a difference...purpose.

Just keep plugging away at each day.

reply to post by ThichHeaded


There is absolutely no reason for anyone in this day and age to live their life stuck in a major depression.
Go to the doctor, and get some medication. If you've tried one and it didn't work, try another one. And another one until you find one that gives you some energy, and wakes you from this dark fog you are in. It will energize you, and change your thought processes by giving your brain a chemical that should have been there in the first place, and is likely missing.

And change your circumstances. Stop looking for a job, and get in school somewhere. One foot in front of the other, until you set some goals and accomplish them. Get up, shower, dress, and leave the house. Go pick up some applications for some classes somewhere. Do it Monday.

I could place a normal, happy, healthy person in your circumstances right now, doing your routine, and within two weeks they would be depressed. Guaranteed.

reply to post by v3_exceed


Edit. Mybe i jumped in to quick.

reply to post by ThichHeaded


Try Prozac. It will help you dig out of the hole you've fallen into.

I don't mean to draw in all sorts of criticism of how scarey Prozac as I expect will happen here. I works for millions of people and I can say that it's helped me through some terrible depressions. Give it a try.

You're not thinking straight. You're depressed and need some balance..

What I mean by that is when you find yourself using the words "Always" "Everything" "Everyone". Stop and think. It simply isn't true.

Originally posted by hardamber
Come to my house and stay with my family for a while. We have too many horses to ride and have lots of fun. I don't know you personally and I don't make this offer lightly. I hope that a visit here will clear your head and change your perspective.

To the original poster-I don't know if you saw that I had edited a previous message to add a link and more, but this offer above is exactly what I mean when. I said "accept love when it is offered. This poster sent in this post while I was editing my message. If at all possible, I recommend taking up the offer. A change of environment for awhile may do a world of good for you.


While there are many things in this world that make it a crappy place to live there are also good things out there. Spend some time in the fresh air. Take a hike in the woods and spend some time in nature. Go to a park and watch the joy on kids faces as they play. Listen to the birds sing.

I don't pity you. I do know how you feel because I have been there. And there are people who care. Please u2u me if you want to talk. Wishing you love, light, joy and peace in your life.

Originally posted by v3_exceed

Originally posted by LAinhabitant
reply to post by v3_exceed

 

If suicide is selfish, then what is unselfish?

Well, this is an easy one. When I was younger, my wife and I had our first child. I was working 18 hrs a day falling further and further behind in debt. I would come home, and naturally we would fight about money and our lack of it. Things were really bad back then...even when our trailer (yup mobile home kind of trailer) got broken into and our few possessions at the time got stolen, and when the thieves came back for what little was left over there was no reprieve. Then our second child came along, and would not stop crying day in, day out. Wife had been on the pill the whole time, but we got 2 kids anyways. I could have left. I could have abandoned the wife and kids, or I could have killed myself. For those that have never heard a colloq ridden baby, it's non stop stress on top of stress. What was being unselfish? Coming home, and tucking in the little turds. Enduring what I had to to make a better life for the family and for myself.

Eventually, with work and perseverance life did get better. Doing the right thing, not for oneself but for the people who count on you, for the people whose lives you touch, that is unselfish or selfless.

..Ex

Just because you have the coping skills to make it through rough times doesn't mean all people do. Maybe their backgrounds and situations were worse than yours. I congratulate for being strong and persevering but not e eryone has your strength, your willpower or your health. Some people actually haves real mental illness and can't cope.

Since you claim to be so unselfish and successful in life and worth over a million, when are you going show some humanity and offer some assistance to this person who sounds pretty down on their luck? Or does being unselfish only apply to your family?

reply to post by ThichHeaded


ThichHeaded, Hi. I was wondering whether you believe in reincarnation? The reason I am asking this is because if you do, I was wondering what kind of life/circumstances you would like to be born into next time round, whenever that time comes?

I'm not asking this as a prelude to giving you dire warnings of karma, or anything like that. Not at all, truly, I am just genuinely interested in your thoughts on this.

reply to post by wcitizen


I believe in reincarnation via what i have researched throughout my life..
This is part of why I hold off on another suicide attempt..

I believe strongly that when a soul suicides that they are stuck either in a loop of the suicide, is stuck asking forgiveness to the people they have affected, or god yells at them like a little kid..

But I have also read of some NDE suicides that came out real positive...

But I dont know.. The odds on my getting a normal death after a suicide i think is low.. Unless god feels sorry for me then i might get a break, I do know that I will have to redo this bs over again but from a couple of suicides that I have read where they were reincarnated god gave them a helping hand of sorts... to make things a tad easier for them to get through thier lives..

Why do you ask?

Originally posted by LAinhabitant

Originally posted by hardamber
Come to my house and stay with my family for a while. We have too many horses to ride and have lots of fun. I don't know you personally and I don't make this offer lightly. I hope that a visit here will clear your head and change your perspective.

To the original poster-I don't know if you saw that I had edited a previous message to add a link and more, but this offer above is exactly what I mean when. I said "accept love when it is offered. This poster sent in this post while I was editing my message. If at all possible, I recommend taking up the offer. A change of environment for awhile may do a world of good for you.

There are a couple things wrong wit this..
1) its the internet
2) I dont even know if this guy will..
3) he probably is just saying this to say this..

Nothing on the internet is real.. even ATS has some wackjobs on here.. Havent you seen my posts in this thread..
Yes they are real but i am just saying.. there are people way worse and screwed up than I am.