Suicide And The Aftermath.

Originally posted by hawkiye

Go down to your local health food/herb store and get a bottle of St. Johns Wart and go through the whole bottle according to the directions. it may help you clear your head and feel better.

It doesn't always help but it's is a nice alternative for prescription medication. 5-HTP is also another good, natural alternative. It increases your Serotonin levels.

- Phoenix

reply to post by v3_exceed


I hear your anger V3 - I know your anger because 6 years ago, on my 31st birthday, my Father hung himself from a tree in his garden. Only it didn't go quite to plan ; the rope snapped and he fell...he damaged his trachea and while the paramedics tried to save him he went into cardiac arrest and lost consciousness. At the hospital they did a tracheotomy and again he went into cardiac arrest . They put him on life support and conducted tests to determine if he was brain damaged (he lost oxygen to the brain ). These were repeated 24 hrs later and his brain was dead so they turned off the machines.

At the time I had an 11 month old child and a troubled relationship so it was all one huge head f**ck for me. I remember many occasions when alone in the house, screaming my head off at the top of my lungs, from the pit of my soul, like some deranged animal. I have never known a rage and a hatred and a pain like it. When he died, a part of me died too and 6 years on I still don't feel quite right.

The thing with my Dad - and with a lot of suicides - is that they are not in their right mind when they do it. My Dad is a prime example ; a week before , he suffered what was labelled a psychotic nervous breakdown. He was hearing voices (not his own) telling him horrible things about himself, amongst which was that he was evil and deserved to die . We tried to get him committed - TWICE- in that week but he was sent home with pills to the flat where he lived alone, with just my brother to keep an eye on him, and told to expect a home visit from a community shrink some days later. The night before he died he had a psyhotic episode again and my brother took him to the normal hospital but the on call shrink there was at some other hospital and wouldn't arrive for a few hrs. My Father got aggressive and left. In the report by the nurse who saw him he was described as a danger to himself and others yet no-one called the police to get them to go to his house.

Long story short some suicides do what they do because they have basically lost their mind. My Dad's younger brother killed himself by gassing himself in a car when he was 21. At the time he was messing around with drugs like Acid and this coupled with his relationship ending twisted his mind. So another example of someone killing themselves when not in their right mind. Then there is my Auntie on the same side of the family - she had a nervous breakdown and tried to kill herself several times. There was a second aunt also on that side of the family who successfully killed herself on her 3rd attempt. That's 3 suicides and one person who ended up in permanent care in the SAME family- perhaps in some cases there is some genetic problem? It's not all black and white.

Knowing my Dad was basically mentally ill was the one shred of mercy for me as I knew that he had no control over what he did really.

Depression is also a form of mental illness and sounds like what the person who started this thread has. It's really sad that for many people who go and do the deed, they might never have done it had they had the right medication or psychiatric care. Ok, depression can't be fixed for everyone but for many it can be.

All I know is that as someone who had been through this 1st hand, with a loved one leaving the world this way, is that is absolutely breaks your heart. If my Dad had gone of natural causes - cancer for example - I don't think I'd be living my life with this continual well of sadness inside of me that has hung over me ever since. You learn to live with it, you box it in most of the time, but it pervades your psyche and is always there in the background.

Something inside of you breaks that can never quite be fixed and this is the legacy the suicide leaves behind in the people he or she was loved by.

reply to post by ThichHeaded


i can understand why you feel this way. lots of doctors who for example resesitate patients even from sucide write case studys---the sense is a nasty, slow transition, thats from the accounts of ones that come back after flat-lined. there is all kinds of research; as much as can be done...its very interesting. i dated an emergency doctor years ago and really got into some indepth material in nde's and so much more...sucide has been studyed and written about...there is material. i hope this helps.

i dont know your story and im not here to judge all i can offer is my perspective and hope it helps. life in this word can be depressing to say the least but before you take your life have you tried being a hermit or living in the mountains on your own. if other people are the problem take them out of the equation. if you live in the city move to the country if you live in the country move to a more remote location like some remote village in south east asia. change your location find a purpose. life is fleeting and will be over before you know it, to throw it away before the story is over is a waste. there are so many people who wish for more life on this planet it truly is a miracle to be sentient. no matter how bad your circumstance is there are ways to improve it. it wont happen overnight but you have the free will to make whatever life you want. life is precious not because its a cliche but because there will never ever be another you ever. to cut short this experience is such a waste. also you have no comprehension how your suffering is inspiring another human to keep walking to keep pushing forward. keep the faith friend and know there are people who appreciate you.

Originally posted by PETROLCOIN

Originally posted by cowman
Then I come here to read a thread where people who live in free countries that have clean water, the ability to survive say they are prepared to kill themselves?

It's about a chemical imbalance. Your refusal to believe in this chemical imbalance does not make it untrue. It is a medical fact..

It is not fact. It is a THEORY. Maybe you should do more research yourself.

www.medicalnewstoday.com...

en.wikipedia.org...

www.suite101.com...

healthmad.com...


And much more out there.

Originally posted by ThichHeaded
Why do people think a suicide is something they are not? I am sure they were going through more torture in life to even contemplate death..

I've been through the kind of 'torture' you're talking about, I was on meds for many years, it's like a jail with your mind inside it and unless someone experiences it they can not possibly imagine the despair and therefore can not judge anyone who thinks/does suicide. The thing that kept me going was the fact that I would put up with any amount of torture if it meant not having to break the hearts of those around me who love me, simple as that, it might be different if I didn't have family to protect.

You have family don't you, Thickheaded? Well, you'll die one day naturally anyhow, in the meantime protect your family by not killing yourself, you have the choice, don't pretend you don't.

Everyone has their own unique path in life.
For some the path leads to self inflicted death - on a 'quick' scale.
Others, not so quick, but just as 'self inflicted' is their death - via alcoholism, drug use, sexual activities that result in AIDS, etc, engaging in war, driving fast, etc etc.

My point? There are many ways to die.

If you choose to opt for suicide I‘ll be the last to judge you 'chicken' or 'mentally deficient' or 'chemically imbalanced'.

But that’s because I don’t know you.

For those who know you and love you? You can be damn sure they - the ones who count - will judge you when you leave them with a broken heart.

But, it’s your path, only you can walk it.
It’s your choice, one only you can make.

*Cheers*

PS - This post comes from someone who’s ‘cleaned up’ the aftermath of someone's selfishness.
And yes, I can judge them selfish, because I knew them, because I was there.

peace

Hi ThichtHeaded, in response to your original question, I guess people say things like that because they don't really understand what made the person kill themselves. For people who have no suicidal thoughts nor have they ever even thought abut it, it really is hard to understand why one would do it. All we have is guess-work as to what happened. The only way we can understand the reasons behind someone taking their own life is to know that person. If anyone commits suicide then the decent thing to do would be to leave a detailed SANE letter explaining why. I noticed you said you had tried medication and talking to doctors etc etc etc. You do realize that there is many types of medication for depression, if one type of pill does not help you then go back to the doctor and try another, then keep trying till you get the one that dose it for you. Everyone is different, remember, (one mans cure is another mans poison). We are all different, so go back to doctor and get the help you need.

Peace


Sequentis

Originally posted by dantanna
here is how to deal with suicide. if you are sick or cancer or something, it does not apply.
this applies if you are feeling down and out.

take all the money out of your bank, or screw it, take none. its up to you.

get on a plane, a bus, a train, a tour anything. just leave your town.

move to the beach, move to the mountains, move to my city new york! move anywhere you want. rent a shack, who cares, you are dead anyways.

change your name, and never look back.

you have committed suicide. the old you is gone. there is only the new you. no one knows you in the new town. you gave up everything, so there is no more stress. got bills? who cares, leave them behind and just BAIL.

hell, i would go to makaha and live up on the north sure and paint. you do not even need a house, you can shower on the beach and beg for food. or, you can take the money you had in the bank, and just splurge on an apt somewhere else.

so you commit suicide by leaving everything behind, you name, your clothes, most importantly, your cell phone. throw it all away. just get up, and LEAVE.

go whereever you always wanted to go. and start brand new.

that is the solution to suicide.

plus, do you realize the grand adventure you will have when you have absolutely NOTHING to lose, cause you are already dead?

one of my rules of every day is to have some kind of adventure outside. you cannot have adventure inside unless you got a chickee with ya! ha.

also, if you are down in the dumps, work out 7 days a week. the endorphins will kick you into high gear. i work out every day, and the effects are astonishing.

I do NOT agree with this !!! could be good for only 3 % of them, but as I said before most of the people wanting suicide are much too tired physically and mentally too even think about doing lots of things like you say they should do to get out of their negativ ideas ...... do not forget that !!! you know what depression is ???? you even do not want to get out of your bed, how could you even go to the bank etc etc .... understand ? peace

If you understand the pain that the world experiences, you should devote your life to help others. Be compassionate, because you understand what very few people do. My life has a goal and this is it.

Originally posted by ThichHeaded
I have a few question about this subject.. I am very much into suicides(I have tried to do it in the past a few times.) I wonder why people blame the suicide case when they succeed in their endeavor of suicide..

Why do people say the suicide was stupid, he could have thought of a better way. and so on and so forth, blaming the suicide for what happened.. I am curious to venture if anyone knows what its like to be on the edge of things to want to even contemplate that act? I am wondering why they wouldn't think to why the person would get to that point.. What made the person do what they did..

People say its a cowards way out, or they were being a pussy, or they gave up..

How do they know this? Do they know that living for some is way worse than going through the bullsh*t(Mods Please dont edit this.. I Cant think of anything else to put here.. Word wise.. Only other word I thought of was F.) that life gives us.. People who are generally good(look at my post history) cant understand why things go they way they go.. They feel they are useless in this life, and that nobody can give a crap less on what happens to them.. They feel it is better to not be here than go through everyday torture of living a fake life that they don't even want.. They see things are broken and there is no way to fix it. It is impossible for them to comprehend things that they can not even understand or even think of doing..

They look at life as a burden instead of a gift, They have so much pain that the thought of death is a relief rather than a problem. This is some of the reasons a suicide does what they do..

I think about suicide a couple times a day.. Honestly the only thing that keeps me here in this dark miserable life is the fact that I see a really cook sunset now and again..

The 3rd time I tried suicide I had an incident happen where I ended up talking to myself. I was told by myself that I wasn't allowed to kill myself and that I had things to do.. I told me that I would know when this would end and that i would feel that my time was up.. March was when i learned that i don't need to be here..

I don't think a suicide should be harassed and called names for an act they do.. I think people should consider why some things happen and for what reasons it came along...

Anyway...

My question states this..

Why do people think a suicide is something they are not? I am sure they were going through more torture in life to even contemplate death..

all it is is a permanent solution to a temportary problem.

reply to post by ThichHeaded


tell me : what do you not understand please ... I do not like unanswered questions ...

Every adult on this planet should have access to physician assisted suicide.
No one should judge a person who commits suicide. No one!

People who are seriously ill, in chronic pain, dying of _____ (fill in the blank), with mental illness' they can't stand ... whatever ... they have a right to end their pain and NO ONE has a right to judge them for it. This is between them and their creator. Period.

To say it's selfish and wrong .... poppy cock! It's selfish to want to keep people here who are miserable. Let them go. Let them move on to whereever and whatever is next. To withhold physician assisted suicide from them .. THAT is what is selfish and wrong.

IMHO - we should have euthenasia centers set up around the world just like in the in the movie Soylent Green. Any adult who wishes to 'move on' and can prove that they aren't being pressured into it should be able to leave this life in comfort and dignity and painfree.

As far as the afterlife goes ... I've read near death experiences from suicides where they were in hell. It wasn't a pleasant afterlife. HOWEVER, my own personal experience is that a highschool friend of mine, who had clinical depression, committed suicide. Before I knew he had commited suicide he visited me after death. I felt him and immediately knew it was him. It was a warm soul-hug. It was happy. I can't see God sending people to Hell for ending a torment like that. But then again I cant' see a loving God giving people those kind of torments to begin with ... so who the heck knows for sure.

Originally posted by thumper76
all it is is a permanent solution to a temportary problem.

That's a blanket statement and it's dead wrong. Chronic illness isn't a temporary problem. Clinical depression isn't a temporary problem. Some medicines can help with symptoms .. but many times it can't. You don't have to live in the kind of torture that others are suffering with and for which there is no end in sight except the release of death.

Originally posted by ThichHeaded

Part of life is dealing with things, they shouldnt brush it off as the person being screwed up or a coward...
There is more to a suicide than what people think.. They should if they even cared about the suicide try and figure out why.. what led up to it and understand why it happened....

Wouldn't you agree that it makes more sense for the person having suicidal thoughts try and figure out why they're having those thoughts? As opposed to leaving the problem solving up to those who loved that person, after it's too late to solve any of the problems? Many people who have been suicidal in the past have overcome their unwillingness to survive and live extremely happy lives now. Those who cannot get over the speed-bumps will fall short on the path of life. I say "give 'er some gas!" Best of luck to you, my friend, and I hope everything works out for you.


Cheers,
Strype

People fear what they don't understand
Hate what they cant conquer

You will be fine happens to the best of us all i can suggest is you go to the doc don't tell him the real deal (make sure it is someone you can trust so you don't get put on the crazy list) and get tests done to look at things like your dopamine receptors (can make you a very sad panda) and all the vitamin and minerals in your body look it up on the net first so you know what you are asking for (if money is a problem for this doctors don't need photo id) hell what do you have to loose
Or if its a psych thing a fresh start is always possible just use your imagination everything is there for the taking
Wasted talent is the saddest thing on earth
Good luck whatever doesn't kill us will make us stronger (fact)

I had to step away from the computer to formulate my answer...
Thick, I understand how you feel, to an extent, I think about killing myself on a daily basis, came up with a plan, have the things in place to do so, made a goodbye video tape, let people know why I wanted to die. I have alot of things going on in my life, sometimes I wonder if its worth keeping going on, but I think of 2 people that would be devastated: my son & daughter. If I was gone, who would protect them from the evil of the world? I dont know if you have children or not, but look into the eyes of an innocent one, The laughter in their soul, the pure love of life they have. It helps one to go on, knowing there *IS* more in the world then what we, as grownups, see with our blinders on.
The fact youre talking about it is a HUGE STEP brother, and I commend you for it.
You helping others is also a good sign you WANT to live,
I dont know what you plan on doing in the next few days, but the one poster is right: step away from the things that make you depressed, change your pattern, go help in a daycare, be around children, their laughter and smiles will cure anyone's soul of depression, anger, guilt, whatever.
If you want, I'll U2U my phone #, my ear is available day and night, I'm a disabled veteran, so i am able to just listen if need be. I do it from my brothers and sisters that are returning home from war, I can do it for a friend.
Bottom line, think of something EVERYDAY that will give you a REASON to keep on going. Its hard at first, but it gets easier everyday after.
I am your friend, please call on your friends
Take care and love the life you have my friend

reply to post by capgirl


ok, your last comment, you know best ...
anyway I certainly wish you all the best really and it makes me feel very confident that you will survive in this crazy stupid world in a good way because you care about others ..
but just my thinking about it : do not care TOO much about others because you cann't take all the weight of their problems onto your own shoulders ...
you could be the victim of taking too much care on others before being STRONG yourself, you can take care about other people only when you yourself are feeling good and strong in your mind and physically ......
otherwise you only weaken yourself by hearing all the problems of others, you must be selfish sometimes not because you do not like other people but because you self are in a somewhat bad condition .....
first help yourself before helping others, but always do feel to the others that you sure do understand them and explain your own situation so there becomes solidarity between you together ...
love is the only way, but not the sex-porno-pseudo-love ... the only love is the one forgetting yourself for someone else .....
blablabla you will say ???? your opinion anyway .... Peace to you that is what I "reiki" you !!! Peace !!

Originally posted by HomerinNC
I had to step away from the computer to formulate my answer...
Thick, I understand how you feel, to an extent, I think about killing myself on a daily basis, came up with a plan, have the things in place to do so, made a goodbye video tape, let people know why I wanted to die. I have alot of things going on in my life, sometimes I wonder if its worth keeping going on, but I think of 2 people that would be devastated: my son & daughter. If I was gone, who would protect them from the evil of the world? I dont know if you have children or not, but look into the eyes of an innocent one, The laughter in their soul, the pure love of life they have. It helps one to go on, knowing there *IS* more in the world then what we, as grownups, see with our blinders on.
The fact youre talking about it is a HUGE STEP brother, and I commend you for it.

You helping others is also a good sign you WANT to live,

I dont know what you plan on doing in the next few days, but the one poster is right: step away from the things that make you depressed, change your pattern, go help in a daycare, be around children, their laughter and smiles will cure anyone's soul of depression, anger, guilt, whatever.
If you want, I'll U2U my phone #, my ear is available day and night, I'm a disabled veteran, so i am able to just listen if need be. I do it from my brothers and sisters that are returning home from war, I can do it for a friend.
Bottom line, think of something EVERYDAY that will give you a REASON to keep on going. Its hard at first, but it gets easier everyday after.
I am your friend, please call on your friends

Take care and love the life you have my friend

again, LOVE is the answer, love for your children, love for .............. you answer ....
you care about your children, they care about you !!!!
the beginning of the answer against SUI CIDERE !!!!

I tell you this, it did help me when I was younger and wanted to stop the whole cinema at once ....
I made the following reflection : if my life is that bad and I see no answers, no solution, then because I may not suicide myself I ask G-d to take me back into his infinite universe ... ( looks sci-fi no ??? ).
So, I did lay down onto my bed, good music, good vibrations around for decorum, but I did not take pills or other things to die ...
it was night and I was weeping because of all the # in my life and also the good music did me cry .... I was alone .....
and I did the following : I did ask G-d to take back my life please because I did not want to live further .....
I did pray to Him for taking me back, his decision anyway .... I just was his creation, so take me back please if you want ....
and I waited, I waited, the whole night, I was badly feeling, but really good music in the dark and still weeping ....
I did wait the whole night, I did fall asleep, next morning at noon I was seeing the sun and was tired of asking for death ...
I got out of my bed, saw the sun and never did ask for it again !!!!!
found I did lose my time weeping about myself ( nothing wrong, just had to pass thru this !!! ).
Peace.