Should I really feel this way?

Originally posted by ldyserenity
So here it is. I am done with humanity. I don't want to deal with anybody. I want to crawl in a hole and never be seen again.
...
I don't care if any of you think I am a whiner and to get over it already, I tell you, I won't!
...
So I'd be happy if the world did come to an end, hell if I could push the d*** button I would! I hate humans!

Well, if that's the case, then what are you doing posting this diatribe to us all?

If you don't care what anyone thinks and no one can change your mind, then why bother telling us? What will it accomplish? I can only assume you are telling us this because you want some form of acceptance, reassurance and a metaphorical hug. Which is fine - and like the others, I'd suggest to use all the anger and bitterness as a strength and push yourself upwards instead of letting it drag you down.

Otherwsie, the post by LiveForever8 says it all, me thinks.






[edit on 10-8-2009 by noonebutme]

I think a thread a wrote not long ago is of significance here: Don't worry, be happy; coz every little thing, is gunna be alright...

I honestly don't see why these Emo threads get so much attention and front page treatment when there are quite alot of good threads out there that don't get much attention.

Seriously, there are millions maybe billions of people out there who are worse of then you. Who don't even care about money, they )ust want some food and water so they can live through the day. There are people in this world who have never heard of a computer, television, movies and news. Every day is a battle for them, a battle to live to see the nect day. and here you are claiming you give up. How pretentious and selfish of you, before you go flabbergasting about how bad your life is, )ust put yourself in these peoples shoes and know that you live like a God compared to millions of people. So stop complaining like a little tosser and deal with it

[edit on 10/8/09 by fapython]

Everyone does something for there own selfish reasons whatever that maybe whether its put down or not,people say not having kids is seflish well actually its having kids which is selfish,no one asked to be born and yet here we areall because some selfish person wanted a child,that child may starve get bullied be murdered or murder,but we don't think like that we only think about what we want even if that means creating a life even if that life has no chance at life

Originally posted by ldyserenity
I will tell you...like me a bitter, angry, person who has no happiness and no propspects and no way out of hell.

"If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size?"

~ Sydney J. Harris

“Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.”

~ Lewis B. Smedes

"By changing the inner attitudes of our minds, we can change the outer aspects of our lives."

~ William James

Originally posted by LiveForever8
[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/874a5532b42c.jpg[/atsimg]

I can sympathize 100%. When I was in high school I was bullied and picked on and constantly harassed, both by students and teachers, sometimes on a daily basis. No one cared about me there. I was one of the smartest people in that school and was in the gifted program, but ironically enough, at one point I was put into the "retard class" with the kids who were too dumb to do their work by themselves, the kids that won't ever have any skills because they're not capable of much. I was put there because I lost interest in my schoolwork and stopped doing my homework. I didn't care about it. It was too easy and I felt I shouldn't even be in the same building as the rest of those people. At the end of my 9th grade year I just stopped going and no one did or said anything about it because no one wanted me there. So anyway, this and many other life experiences has led to me having feelings of contempt for the "average person". Most of my life I've been persecuted by people who are nowhere near my level of understanding and intelligence, so it's hard to have compassion for humanity. I've developed what I guess you could call a superiority complex, but it's due to the fact that I am in fact far more intelligent than most people, not solely because of rejection. Anyway, in my opinion you have every right to be angry. It's a normal reaction to those circumstances. And if it makes you feel any better, I'd push the button too Some days, I reeeaaally want to.

Feel free to U2U me if you'd like to chat.

Personally i'm not having kids to many people in the world don't need any more

If i ever have kids i will do the unselfish thing and adopt

Why would you listen to and believe the same people you claim to hate and think are stupid? Do you not see a loss of logic in such a statement?

If I had listened to what everyone told me, I'd be working at Burger King. Instead, I'm actually pretty successful. You know where I was at the age of 17? Locked up in state custody, never graduated high school, never went to college. Ran drugs since the age of 16, for many years, been homeless many times, been to jail a few times and I went from that to being a programmer and an executive of my company.

According to society and statistics, it's a wonder I'm not in prison.

To be honest, all you are doing is making excuses and blaming everyone else. If you can't take responsibility for and love yourself, then how in the world can you expect anyone else to either?

And you may )ust get your wish if the 2012 theories are to be believed like this
www.abovetopsecret.com...

Thread

reply to post by ldyserenity


Thats what you get if you´re listening only to others, and dont think for yourself.

Do you see yourself as a loser or a non-achiever? If not... good. Thats all that should matter for you.
You live your own life not someone elses.
Stop taking it out on humanity and spew hatred and bitterness all around.
We cant be held responsible for how you percieve yourself, or for your lack of self-conciousness.
You seem to let others walk over you and manipulate you to become something you dont want, and then blame the bystanders.

It aint working that way


Greetings from Germany

ldyserenity,

The achin' and the breakin'....THAT'S the makin' of a soul.

[edit on 10-8-2009 by lw2525]

reply to post by ldyserenity
You are hurting not only for yourself and your "injuries" but possibly picking up on the rest of humanity.

We are all connected.

At this time, the world is controlled by a wealthy elite concerned only with maintaining their power and influence; big business controls the government, not the other way around.

Humans must (and eventually will) change their mindset, from service-to-self to service-to-others, helping their fellow man… governments will stop craving control, seeking to advance and improve humanity instead of an elite and privileged few.

From Douglas James Cottrell in a '___' State link here: www.youtube.com...

Another member a few days ago told me to "meditate, meditate, meditate" so I 've been looking around and researching.

Things are changing. I do believe mankind is going to make another monumental jump.

If you decide to go to that link above, a lot of Douglas James Cottrell's videos are quite interesting.

He has accessed (some claim ? I don't know enough yet ) the akashic records.

Now, go back and look at the posting of that picture of that little starving baby with the buzzard just waiting for her to die by Neo-V. Pretty sad isn't it.

I can't remember the name of the journalist that took that picture but about a month later he committed suicide.

So many people wrote him and said why didn't you save that little girl? he replied, there are so many like that.

It doesn't have to be like this. The sadness, the hurt, the meaness, warfare, poverty and injustices.

We all together determine if this existence is going to be a heaven or a hell but that is our choice and until we realize we are all connected this will continue to be a hell on earth.

Everyone deserves to have life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

TheMythLives advice of

The best way to fight back, is by stopping this from happening to other people. Become someone elses support. Become someone elses rock. See yourself in them and have them see you in them.

was most wise as was the poster that so bluntly said, "Get over yourself" because - one never feels as good as when one is serving another.

Perform "random acts of kindness" start in your own small way to make this place a better place.

Yes, I know what you are going through.

At ten my mother died of lung cancer, I had no father so to speak of - he was married to another woman and disowned me.

Please understand - when a parent leaves through death or abandonment a child, that child is truly at the mercy of the rest of this world. Please read that last sentence over - your children need you. You need to be there for them and to nurture and cherish them. Teach them to be kind, understanding and honest - teach them what it is to be human. Be with them for you have the responsiblity to see this through for them.

I am 56 and not a day goes by I don't say, "Mother I miss you and love you". She died quickly, did not waste away or have pain nor did she choose to leave me. I can not imagine the scar her leaving me by choice would have had on me. I don't know if I could have survived knowing she left me by choice. It was the memory of her love for me that saw me through many hard times.

I went from being happy living in downtown St. Louis Missouri to having to move to and go to school (Catholic) in a rich suburb in Missouri. One day the girls all held hands and danced ring around the rosie chanted ha ha you don't have a mother, weird girl, you don't have a father".

Yes some people are pretty mean. You don't have to be one of them. That is your choice.

I found while I lived in poverty in downtown St. Louis, I was happy - the people were kinder and more down to earth.

This is my own experiences, but I have found that many times the more "affluent" people are spiritually depleated and their souls are hardened.

Possibly you might feel better joining some organization or group of people that are doing things for people less fortunate.

Maybe assist in a soup kitchen or homeless shelter
Help maintain a food pantry
Assist in a local clinic

Meditate and seek to "get over your outside self" and don't let those mean people have power / influence over you.

As stated before, once you start saying what can I do for others vs poor me, you might start feeling better.

One last thing: Each of us is a soul, a spiritual consciousness having a human experience. Reflect on what your true entity soul's purpose here and now is.

We all have "a mission". Each "mission" is to get back to the "Godhead".

Start researching the akashic records, Edgar Cayce, Douglas James Cottrell.

Possibly try each day to meditate and perform just one secret random act of kindness - a act of kindness to someone, anyone where in you do not expect some kind of "pay back".

If each person reading this post would just each day do one tiny little thing to make another person happy, just a smile or eye contact or friendly hi - imagine what a wonderful existence this could be for all of us.

Don't be one of the "hateful" ones. Pity a hateful person because their soul is wounded.

Peace




[edit on 10-8-2009 by ofhumandescent]

reply to post by ldyserenity


Welcome to my world. I have been right thru the same crap- have actually had forces beyond my control rip up my life, my tries at having a relationship, And then, *I* get blamed for the whole mess. Ever notice how it's so easy for others to point that fat little sausage of a finger at you and proclaim "this is your own doing" when it clearly isn't? Especially after you've done EVERYTHING in your power to fix, overcome and try to get some measure of control and success in your life.

I cant say I blame you for feeling like (crap). When people are all about themselves, and don't give a flying rat's rump about anyone else- it's people like you and me who are burned to a crisp, left in a ditch, and then peed on by humanity. All the while, tho- it's OUR FAULT. Not EVER is it the actual responsible party's fault. This is magnified 10000x by that loving 'Church' and all those idiotic religions people cling to like a roach clings to a wad of toilet paper in the bowl.

I may go find the exit door myself. It's been 38 years, and my life's essentially over. I am poor, white, ugly, and disgusting to every woman who sees me, and used by the ones who are into that sort of thing. Break my heart? That's ok. Guess who's fault it is. Any job I take- and I get treated like a slave, and end up fired because I wont do everyone else's job AND my own, oh- that is my fault, too. I cant find a job because I'm not a minority? Oh geeze- that's my fault, too!

This planet can go *BLEEP* itself for all I care. I don't have any words of 'wisdom' or any of that metaphysical crap where you're gonna resonate your heinie off and ascend or whatever. Obviously, none of it works. Not a bit of it. Oh, it'll 'work' if you're rich, and have more connections than a phone company- But that's just being rich and knowing people. Has NOTHING to do with the 'method' being used. None. It's just marketing.

Feel free to get angry. I don't blame you one bit. It isn't your fault Someone's crapped on you and called it a warm blanket (or in the case of Christianity- a 'blessing in disguise'!). I'd offer you a hug, but who'd want some white ugly person hugging them.

[edit on 10-8-2009 by wylekat]

As far as my judgement goes, your state of mind is entirely self made. You did not experience traumatic or life threatening situations. You have health, a life, people that you love: What more could anyone desire?

The problems you have, well, lets look at them.

You feel ugly - it's your fault. No human is ugly when he is in harmony with his body and soul and an honest heart. However your outer experience miight be, shine from the inside and you will be beautiful.

Your writing style is far too complex and arrogant - i say, you are stuck in a vicious circle of repeating thoughts and emotions - it's your fault, because everone is able to change his trains of thoughts. Imho you are lazy with the work on the self.

You have three children and you dare to even consider suicide. Are you totally out of your mind? Your children need you. You should love them more than your self-generated misery to let go of the misery and concentrate on the grand beauty in front of your eyes - it's your fault, because you forgot the deep love and mingled with superficial desires.

You feel you change to something you are not and have never been, to something you hate. Well, good observation, so do the next step.

Above all, it's obvious that you have all mental capacities and knowledge to overcome the vicious circle. Meditate, take responsibility. It's all in your brain and heart, you only need to reach these places.

peace and good luck, though you don't need any more of that

reply to post by ldyserenity


This is IT in a nut-shell: You are letting others define YOU...You are letting others define YOU...You are letting others define YOU

In your blurb you kept referring to others and what they have done to you. Why? What they say about you is just so many words...forget what they say as soon as they say it, because they do.

I'm not going to be one of those who say you have low self-esteem. You obviously esteem yourself quite highly. In your conversation, it is all about you. No, you think of yourself all the time. Try this...force yourself to help others less fortunate than yourself (they really do exist). This will take your self-centered mind off you and eventually lead to a feeling of self worth and purpose of life. Helping others...this IS your only HOPE!

reply to post by noonebutme
So give him a metaphoic hug. Would that hurt you?

If someone is on the edge we have have two choices.

-- Push him/her off
-- Or lend them a hand and pull them back in.

Yes I agree his problems may not seem monumental to most of us but to him at this time he is overwhelmed and is calling out for a random act of kindness.

Peace

reply to post by Wachstum

You feel ugly - it's your fault.

And RIGHT THERE we have the same metapissical CRAP I just mentioned. No. A person feels ugly when the ignorant primates around them MAKE them feel ugly. It is NOT their own fault. I can attest to it, I will swear to it in a court of law, I can cite president, I can show examples, I have been there, done that, and had the paper bag of disgust thrown over my own head. I used to be of the mind that I can do ANYTHING. Humanity whipped that out of me but good. And at least this person had kids- I dont even get that luxury- because no woman wants to be with me because I am 'ugly'. NEVER did that word come out of my mouth, it ALWAYS came out of the woman's mouth.

Wanna try again, smart man?

reply to post by ldyserenity


If you don't have the energy to rise above & your soul is heavy, they've won. You need to spend more time within nature. I can promise you that I've been ridiculed as much if not more than you have been. Were you born without any deformities or disabilities? If so, you are luckier than I am. What I have learned in my years is that adults are more viscious than kids can be. The bully just grows up as he's perfecting his technique. These people hate themselves & gained strength from your hurt feelings. You should follow my number one rule: DON'T TAKE ANY # OFF ANYONE!!! Smile when someone cuts you down, then simply say, "Don't you have some traffic to play in?" Also, please learn to choose your battles. The abusers are constantly fighting battles.

(i'm just adding on liveforever well spotted point.)

you're "being", thinking, acting (they all the same anyway) exactly the way ptb want you to be, think and act;

exactly the same way these people you despise are, think and act.

you're not any different than them : just a weak sheep enslaved by your ego.

YES poor litlle and weak thing, you're not human, but just a sheep very well programmed: otherly said, a psychopath product of the psychopath corps.

YES,

as the sheep you have been programmed to be : YES "you should really feel this way".

but don't put your anger on "humanity" cause you and your designated "foes", as hardcore part of the sheeple, don't have the slightest clue about what Being a Human Alive Being means.

reply to post by yayap3


Cats? I'm sorry for laughing, but this distraught soul needs a dog. They are so much more demonstrative about their happiness you've made it home - & not just because they want fed.