Should I really feel this way?

So here it is. I am done with humanity. I don't want to deal with anybody. I want to crawl in a hole and never be seen again. Do you want to know why? I have been robbed of everything I could have been and everything I could have had. And do you know what? I am holding a grudge, # forgiveness, # enlightenment, I don't care any more. If you think I haven't been robbed, well when people in your school when you're still young(from Kindergarden on up) and very impressionable call you ugly and a loser and that you will never go anywhere in life, well you beleive it and it does become a self fulfilling prophecy. Then to have parents who tell you you will never get into college because you aren't serious about education, even after you stayed in High school and had to repeat 11th grade because you cut so many times the first time around because High school was hell, they still don't see you really are serious about college and decide they're just not going to pay for it. On top of that they screw you out of financial aid because they claim you as a dependant on their income tax that year. Then what the # do you think you'll ever amount to...I will tell you...like me a bitter, angry, person who has no happiness and no propspects and no way out of hell. I don't care if any of you think I am a whiner and to get over it already, I tell you, I won't! My life was ruined by human beings everyone I came in contact with, so They and their cohorts are less than insects to me. I deleted my facebook and myspace accounts cause all of these people have the gull after ruining my life to then try to add me on their friends list. Well I am disgusted people don't realize what the heck they did, nor do they even care. So I'd be happy if the world did come to an end, hell if I could push the d*** button I would! I hate humans!

You have the right to be angry.

Now, how you respond, for the rest of your life, that's what counts, and that choice is yours to make.

reply to post by ldyserenity


Hey Serenity! I understand what you are saying and I hope you know that I speak from the heart as I always have with you. I didn't see so much hate in your writing, what I saw was a person who was tired of what the world is. Well I have a proposition for you, this made me think:

My life was ruined by human beings everyone I came in contact with, so They and their cohorts are less than insects to me. I deleted my facebook and myspace accounts cause all of these people have the gull after ruining my life to then try to add me on their friends list. Well I am disgusted people don't realize what the heck they did, nor do they even care. So I'd be happy if the world did come to an end, hell if I could push the d*** button I would! I hate humans!

Your life was ruined by humans, because of bad people and the likes of them and the fakers. I propose a missions for you. What do you think of saving others from the same fate? Perhaps this is your mission. Since you have been ruined, your next choice is to either fight back or surrender. The best way to fight back, is by stopping this from happening to other people. Become someone elses support. Become someone elses rock. See yourself in them and have them see you in them.

While I understand your frustration, you must manage it wisely, while it is difficult. I will admit that, the rewards will be greater than you can ever imagine. By saving someone esle from the same fate, you save yourself.

Personally, I'd choose to excel and transcend them and their small mindedness. I would look and think to myself, these people contribute nothing to making the world a better place. Therefore I will do what they do not, cannot or will not do, and I will triumph in spite of them all.

Embrace and use that anger, that's what I say.

I LOVE YOU!!!!! I think you need to tell yourself that and believe it. It doesnt matter what other people say you need to believe in yoiurself and hold your head high. Better yourself it is the best way to get revenge.

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/874a5532b42c.jpg[/atsimg]



Get over yourself.

reply to post by ldyserenity


I think the key here is to own up to the fact that we are all responsible for the outcome of our own lives. Some people have tremendous disadvantages but muster up the will to overcome. I remember reading about a man who was burnt over 90% of his body and had to have his legs amputated because of the wounds. He could have been bitter, but he decided to view it as a challenge and went on to become extremely succesful and help many others throughout his life. Just remember that their are millions if not billions of people on this planet that have it worse off than you.

I hear, and understand your situation.

star, and flag.

[edit on 9-8-2009 by sanchoearlyjones]

It's too late for me to do anything. I have been strong long enough I give up! I am not going to do anything anymore. I know what they said then isn't true, but now after so many years, it's too late. I am too old to do anything I just want out! I hate this place. And the mean people are far more prevalent than the good.

Omegapoint...I don't even know anybody who has ever gotten harassed as bad as I have. So as for stopping it from happening to somebody else...well all I can do and have done is teach my children not to treat people that way. I think my exit point is coming up real soon and I will take it.If you read Sylvia Browne or even know her work some other way you'll understand what that is.

reply to post by ldyserenity


People closest to you will betray you. How you handle that determines what comes next in your life. You can open yourself to the possibility that your choices led you down a wrong path or two and accept your responsibility or not.

You may hold a grudge for the rest of your life. Which by the way will harm no one except you. You will rot inside and the good that was in you, you would have chosen to kill. The ones you hate would be the winners. Is that ok with you? Can't you show them they were all wrong? Do it with dignity and self-respect. Let them see how wrong they were by your determination to succeed on your own, without help. Or not. You choose.

I know what you mean my friend. Being shat upon and denied dignity and respect, opportunity and advantage are facts of life. Sucks, but true. Be the better person. Be the person that would NEVER treat people the way you have been treated.

IMO. Good luck.

reply to post by ldyserenity


Giving up? What for? I want you to honestly tell me that you can no longer save anyone? Infact I want you to prove it. It doesn't take money or anything for you to help someone to overcome a situation. By you giving up, you are letting those who you could be helping down.

The key is to relax, lay down and tune into yourself. Because I know you have something to live for In my talks with you, you sound intelligent and loving. So go take a break, lay down and meditate on your future. Because once you start focusing on the present the harder it gets to move on and promote progress.

reply to post by grapesofraft



That's why I said it becomes self fulfilling and believe me a weaker person probably would've become a psychopathic killer! So back off!

There is a HUGE difference between physical pain an ailment, and mental anguish, something that unless you've gone through, you may never be able to differentiate.

People will go on and list all the reasons why people like the OP have no argument, they have everything compared to some, but until you've been there you have absolutely no right to throw that at someone.

That is why I can relate to the OP. Though he/she has a very similar story to mine, a few of the things are indeed different. I too was told that I would never achieve anything if I continued to be lazy and ignorant of my education. I, however, was a straight A student through my entire school life. As the end of high school rounded out, I was expected to get even better grades then I had been getting and attend the biggest baddest college around, even though no one in my family had done anything remotely similar.

It was my senior year in high school that I literally LET GO of everything people said and got so sick of it that I snapped. I went into a deep state of depression and instead of going to one of the "ivy league" schools I was accepted at, I chose a local technical school no 20 miles from my home.

My life, much like the OPs was BS, and it was made that way by other human beings. It wasn't the choices that I MADE that made them treat me the way I did. I kept to myself, I helped anyone when they needed it (even my enemies) and I tried to make the best of everything that I could. It got me nowhere.




No where do I stand? Well I'm certainly not at a point to give much advice. My friends have abandoned me, my family turned their back on me, and I've never actually had a good relationship that might lead me to look forward to some companionship, and I can blame it on one thing: HUMANITY.

All I can say is don't judge until you've been there. And once you are there, you will find that you no longer want to judge because frankly, there is very little hope in finding difference in the darkness that is humanity.

reply to post by ldyserenity



Use that anger to better yourself, even if it's to spite them. Use it and prove them wrong!

You must have had some happiness in life, you have children and as I look back there is nothing better than having children to make you laugh and love. Something has triggered this emotional situation for you, maybe that is what you need to deal with, the trigger factor. You know you cant change your past. So try to deal with your current problems and situations head on and get through this nightmare you are living in today.

Oh, I forgot, you can feel any way you want to.



[edit on 9-8-2009 by catamaran]

I endured a horible childhood of hate and anger from my father. Not that he didnt love me but because of the abuse he sufered as a child he just didnt know how to show love. fatass, retard, # for brains. I could go on and on about the names he called me. I got kicked in the ass and pulled around by my hair. When he didnt want me to touch something he would throw a ashtray at my head. As bad as he was i understand why he was like that and I learned to forgive him. Forgive and move on. Seven years ago my brother in law killed my neice and nephew, I can forgive him and move on. Hatred and anger dont change things but love and forgiveness change everything.

reply to post by gwydionblack


So what is the point of living? Something keeps us going even through the worst pain and anguish. The only other choice is to quit. Once you quit, its over. If your ready for that, then my blessings go with you.

There are some real crappy people walking around out there. Please don't be one of them. Please be the other you, the one that doesn't feel like you do now. It is not useless and hopeless. Other people are having the same kinds of stresses and pressures we are. We all handle it differently.

reply to post by TheMythLives


I can't even save myself in the words of the great Stabbing Westword!!!! Great song I feel just like that right now!

Originally posted by ldyserenity
I hate humans!

...you're young and have a gazillion roads to explore... get to it and have a good time come hell or high water... dont let 'em get ya down... dont take wooden nickels... dont eat yellow snow... dont squat over cactus... burp and fart often (better out than in)...

reply to post by ldyserenity


Hang in there. Fight fracking fight! Just the fact that you have friends here proves whomever, wrong.

Use that as your armour. As your shield against other purile, idiotic attacks.

You are stronger by just contacting us.

Believe it.