Should I really feel this way?

Originally posted by catamaran
You must have had some happiness in life, you have children and as I look back there is nothing better than having children to make you laugh and love. Something has triggered this emotional situation for you, maybe that is what you need to deal with, the trigger factor. You know you cant change your past. So try to deal with your current problems and situations head on and get through this nightmare you are living in today.

Oh, I forgot, you can feel any way you want to.



[edit on 9-8-2009 by catamaran]

I know that my children are the only thing good that ever came from me. That much is so very true and they are the only thing that kept me going this long. They're almost out on thier own, four more years for the elder two and the other will be 10 in November and probably be better off with a more successful person as a mother. Someone who made something of themself.

reply to post by ldyserenity


You can't? I'm pretty sure you can If my take of you is correct and I know it is, you can pretty much do anything. While it maybe tough, lets not forget, that life throws stones, but you can catch a few as well. You need to get the air of invinsibility and start moving and thinking forward. The present is obviously not the place you want to be thinking in. Retract from external thoughts and anger. And enter the future and interna thoughts of what you wnat to happen. I assure you, that you will be ok.

reply to post by LiveForever8


Such comparisons do not make the man's pain illegitimate. If you have a problem with him, articulate it. Much better than using pictures of African children to back your points.

reply to post by LiveForever8


Like everybody loved to say to me whenever I needed someone at bat for me "It's not my problem"...see that's what you turn into when evil has bombarded you your whole life...you start to think like they do. That's the sin of it all. I actually feel like I won't progress spiritually, I even hope the Athiests are right! Than I really don't have to woprry where I will end up, I will end up worm food and coal...much better if I start to take that stance in life...there is nothing after death, then I can be like everyone of those evil people, cause I don't have to worry about progressing to any next level, there is no level, I am saying hypothetically of course. Right now I still beleive there is an afterlife, I just think that I actually deprogressed if that's a word.

reply to post by ldyserenity


I love Stabbing Westward.

I get pissed off a lot. get mad at people, eyed a good hole, thinking the damp darkness suited me just fine. Some days it still does.

Some people think you keep coming back to this rock over and over again until you learn what it is you're supposed to learn. I hate that.

Sometime parents screw up. Sometimes friends screw up. Ok, we ALL screw up. I let people push my buttons. I hear stories about people overcoming great adversities and succeeding in life. I hear of people having everything they could want or need and throwing it away on dope.

All I can hope for is something somewhere in the middle. The middle sucks, but it's what I aspire for. Balance.

Should we take responsibility for own actions? Yeah, it sucks, but yeah. My children need me, as yours need you. It sounds like you are trying to help them understand what it feels like to be treated badly and that is very admirable. That puts you in an elite class and positions them well to be compassionate and understanding.

My next door neighbor a fear years back was a survivalist to the core. He had his bunker, supplies, everything. He was set to last out two or three years in a hole in the ground. He got in an argument with his wife and blew his brains out. His two daughters were in the house. Chunks of his head were everywhere. He left two great kids without a dad because he chose the easy, emotional way out.

The ultimate choice is yours, but our decisions carry much more weight than we are prepared to contemplate sometimes. What legacy will you leave for your children? Will it be taking what the bitch of a life gives you and doing your best, or hiding in a hole? What will THEY need to learn from your struggles?

You're important. Good luck and God Speed on your journey.

Originally posted by YourForever
reply to post by LiveForever8

 

Such comparisons do not make the man's pain illegitimate. If you have a problem with him, articulate it. Much better than using pictures of African children to back your points.

I was going to write something, but then i remembered i had that image in my account and decided it summed up my point perfectly. A picture paints a thousand words etc...
Im not denying this persons pain, illegitimate it is not. But i was trying to put the situation into perspective.

reply to post by ldyserenity

Sometimes you need to reach that low, to realize that there is a higher purpose. Right now, believe in your heart, believe in the love for your kids.
God? Gods? Who knows. But have faith in your own heart. It's a start.

Originally posted by grapesofraft
reply to post by ldyserenity

 

I think the key here is to own up to the fact that we are all responsible for the outcome of our own lives. Some people have tremendous disadvantages but muster up the will to overcome. I remember reading about a man who was burnt over 90% of his body and had to have his legs amputated because of the wounds. He could have been bitter, but he decided to view it as a challenge and went on to become extremely succesful and help many others throughout his life. Just remember that their are millions if not billions of people on this planet that have it worse off than you.

Of course there is, however this is a psychological forum and I was stating my post on how psychologically people can tear a person down awfully bad, maybe get the person reading to hmmmmm I don't know, be careful with their kids if they have problems like this to go to the school and demand it to be confronted, or if their child says mean things to another to be reminded to teach them it's wrong...so actually I guess in a way, I am trying to do something about it. I know there are other people who've been psychologically broken, I know it can be as bad and sometimes worse for a person than physical abuse. People are just ignorant of that fact, so I was standing up letting people know I am one of the people and what it has done in my case.

Originally posted by ldyserenity
reply to post by LiveForever8

 

Like everybody loved to say to me whenever I needed someone at bat for me "It's not my problem"...see that's what you turn into when evil has bombarded you your whole life...you start to think like they do. That's the sin of it all. I actually feel like I won't progress spiritually, I even hope the Athiests are right! Than I really don't have to woprry where I will end up, I will end up worm food and coal...much better if I start to take that stance in life...there is nothing after death, then I can be like everyone of those evil people, cause I don't have to worry about progressing to any next level, there is no level, I am saying hypothetically of course. Right now I still beleive there is an afterlife, I just think that I actually deprogressed if that's a word.

I didn't really want to reply to you, mainly because i didn't want to regurgitate what others were saying, they are right though.
What i don't understand is why you started this thread. These people are being really genuine and making a lot of effort to help you, but you just seem to reject it out of hand. If you started this thread for help and advice, start taking it from these kind people.

Originally posted by mikerussellus
reply to post by ldyserenity

 

Sometimes you need to reach that low, to realize that there is a higher purpose. Right now, believe in your heart, believe in the love for your kids.
God? Gods? Who knows. But have faith in your own heart. It's a start.

That's so very true! I think that I had to release this anger and this is one of the things I did to do that(This Post). The other was to delete those accounts because Those people a lot of them were the same people who tore me down and their empty apologies just made it even worse. I am Not really going to hold a grudge I don't think that really isn't like me at all, but that doesn't mean I have to associate with them or socialize with them. To move ahead I have to leave the past in the past.

reply to post by LiveForever8


Oh I am. I did post why I started this thread. It's a psychology forum and I was trying to make a point on how a person can tear down another psychologically. So I posted above a few posts up I think. I thank everybody for their replies. Very much appreciated, and some did know what I was trying to put across.

Hopefully, someone here knows of some kid who could be taught about the reasons not to tear down others or help another who is having this problem with being tore down whether they see it done by a parent or a playmate at the park or whatever the point is they can be aware, sometimes it's one of those things that isn't so evident in the child's attitude or anything. It's a hidden problem, even moreso thn physical abuse because that leaves marks most of the time.

reply to post by ldyserenity


When I feel the way you're feeling (I can only imagine) I read this poem by Dylan Thomas. All time kick-@ss poem. . .

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.




Rage! It's ok to do that. Really.

Originally posted by ldyserenity

Originally posted by catamaran
You must have had some happiness in life, you have children and as I look back there is nothing better than having children to make you laugh and love. Something has triggered this emotional situation for you, maybe that is what you need to deal with, the trigger factor. You know you cant change your past. So try to deal with your current problems and situations head on and get through this nightmare you are living in today.

Oh, I forgot, you can feel any way you want to.



[edit on 9-8-2009 by catamaran]

I know that my children are the only thing good that ever came from me. That much is so very true and they are the only thing that kept me going this long. They're almost out on thier own, four more years for the elder two and the other will be 10 in November and probably be better off with a more successful person as a mother. Someone who made something of themself.

You have made something of yourself though. You have made yourself a mother. You know as well as I do that your children do not want another mother. You are all they want or need.

I went through a similar period a while back where I thought it would just benefit everyone around me if I were gone. I thank the stars everyday I was wrong and didn't let myself actually get to the point of no return.

I now have a new daughter that I get to watch smile daily. Something I would have never had if I would have continued along that train of thought. As bad as it may seem now things will turn around. Don't let others actions be the force guiding yours.

Smile ....

You obviously have read none of the threads about positive thinking. You seem to be completely unaware, are you, about self fulfilling prophesy? - the "woe is me" attitude attracts all kinds of reality to create good reasons for you to be woeful.

Life is # for a whole lot of people -- sometimes a lot and while for others just here and there. but no-one has it as good as you seem to think.

Only you can decide to make the rest of your life better than it has been so far. Appriciate the small stuff and learn to think for yourself instead of worrying about what everyone else has to say about what you should be.

Your life is unique to you -- what you are supposed to get from it is tailor made for you. Try and make the most of this opportunity. That is all any of us can do.

[edit on 8/9/2009 by wayno]

These are the harsh realities of life.. its never been any different. Everything has to fight to survive on this planet.

The fact is no matter how bad your life may seem theres a million people out there who would gladly trade positions with you. It sounds like you are ready to throw the towel in before you have even started to fight. Just get what you want out of life and stuff everyone else if you hate them so much. Should be easy .

Originally posted by VitalOverdose
These are the harsh realities of life.. its never been any different. Everything has to fight to survive on this planet.

The fact is no matter how bad your life may seem theres a million people out there who would gladly trade positions with you. It sounds like you are ready to throw the towel in before you have even started to fight. Just get what you want out of life and stuff everyone else if you hate them so much. Should be easy .

I like that "stuff everybody else" Lol. I am just feeling wore out, I know a lot of people have felt like this. I do know what a self fulfilling prophecy is the woe is me so things happen. That's the thing I was trying to say that I was feeling back then because I actually beleived it and started feeling like that then. Some got it, some didn't.

reply to post by ldyserenity

I understand your frustration.

What you need to understand (imho) is that this current system/establishment/empire on Earth does none of us justice. We are all better than this, we deserve better, every single one of us. None of us are who we really *could* be, because we're made to struggle to fit into a role in 'established' society.

It's all set up to benefit a few... a very few... and the rest of us must suffer trying to figure out how to be part of this construct that was created by those fortunate few.

Try not to judge those people in your life who have been able to fit into this perverse and unnatural society in one way or another... there's no telling what they would be if they were nurtured as individuals rather than shaped into the constructed mold of the establishment. They don't know any better, they're just trying to make it work.

The disgust that you feel about this empire (imho) is natural. It's the pull of your nature vs the push to be part of this system. I can't tell you what to do about it, for I do not know myself...

reply to post by ldyserenity

I wish the world would end too - so we could be rid of
you!! . Totally joking, I hope you caught the humor. Don't
think you're alone in your feelings, youd be amazed at how
many of us on ATS have felt like you do now at some time
in the past.

I'm totally surprised I haven't offed myself some days. I've
been thinking that since I was 16 - that was 34 years ago.
Life gets better. It cannot possibly suck forever and if you're at the
bottom then there's no way to go but up eh?

I found my salvation/inspiration in nature. Sounds hokey
but it worked for me. you have to find your own path in life,
it's hard but it's the only real reward - to know you lived life
on your terms and never had to cheat get where you are.

Catch is where I am - I have a chronic wasting condition
that makes life a little harder every day. I' ve faced my own
mortality and I'm cool with it but the not being able to help myself or others really suxors.

If you are healthy, screw everything else - you have a
future and that's something not everyone on this earth has.
Don't give up on humanity, some of us are still trying!!
May your travels be interesting.

Originally posted by eMachine
reply to post by ldyserenity

 

I understand your frustration.

What you need to understand (imho) is that this current system/establishment/empire on Earth does none of us justice. We are all better than this, we deserve better, every single one of us. None of us are who we really *could* be, because we're made to struggle to fit into a role in 'established' society.

It's all set up to benefit a few... a very few... and the rest of us must suffer trying to figure out how to be part of this construct that was created by those fortunate few.

Try not to judge those people in your life who have been able to fit into this perverse and unnatural society in one way or another... there's no telling what they would be if they were nurtured as individuals rather than shaped into the constructed mold of the establishment. They don't know any better, they're just trying to make it work.

The disgust that you feel about this empire (imho) is natural. It's the pull of your nature vs the push to be part of this system. I can't tell you what to do about it, for I do not know myself...

The establishment taught them to be mean and cruel children? No I don't beleive that. I think it's the parents who taught them this, by telling them they are so very wonderful and beautiful so it's ok for them to do what ever to anybody because for them there are no limits at home. They probably got away with poking the puppy's eyeballs and pulling it's tale just because "Oh how cute" they are. I just want people to recognize sadistic children(Yes children can be sadistic) for who they are a product of their upbringing. The establishment doesn't tell the parent to do this, they do it on their own. What is needed is to take more responsibility for the kids people bring into this world. This generation is going to be the worse, More kids are being brought up this way, to make themselves feel better by putting others down.

Well, I too have been robbed, cheated, stolen from, slapped around for most of my life. I forgive all who have harmed me, may they suffer their own Karma, and may I be free of it.
Life is school, it is a place of learning, so keep learning from every experience that happens to you. Love all beings, for all are children of the Creator(s)