So now flirting or asking a girl out is sexual harassment

a reply to: IAMTAT

'Looking' at a woman can now run the risk of being interpreted as 'staring' or 'ogling'...and, thus, labelled sexual harassment?

From the way I've seen some men and women react to catching someone they don't find attractive looking at them...pretty much yep. Or at least the person being 'looked' at my try to claim as much.

Not that I necessarily agree, my parents met because my mum caught my dads eye at a party...if men never paid attention to women dressing in certain ways I wouldn't have been born.

We live in a world of princes and princesses. Sure, sexual harassment happens and is disgusting, but the phrase rather gets watered down with some peoples interpretation of it.

a reply to: Dark Ghost

its always about how you feel, if you are not offended or feel weird...then dont make a big deal about it, touching an arm is different then touching an ass.

But if she is touching your arm, then touching your chest, then slowly reaching to your ass and you dont like it...then report it.

The actual person in the situation (your feelings) are a good gauge, or should be, to what actions you next take...that is how it is in every situation in life.

I gave personal examples on how a hug in the workplace can be harmless and also threatening.

So now flirting or asking a girl out is sexual harassment
page: 6




don't-you-know, that the Sit-Com 'Big Bang Theory'

is exploring the modern male-female social interaction situation


the hyper detailed, sexless interactions between Sheldon and Amy are held up as the future pathway of verbal & tactile interaction which will outflank the sexual harassment stigma ....




RE: sex robots => www.dailymail.co.uk...

Edit: you wrote: "wish i could have been stronger and also wish for all women to be stronger in situations such as that". That is probably the MOST valuable advice you have looked over. Read that again. All you have to do is speak up AT THE TIME, BE direct and be clear. Use a harsh tone. Be serious. Make them KNOW what they just did was not ok and if it happens again they WILL pay dearly. If women in the workforce (and indeed most areas of life itself within a Western country) WERE to take the advice I just gave you seriously, 99% of sexual harassment claims and 90% of other problems for women would disappear.

THAT is the secret you fail to understand. THAT is the secret towards the equality you strive for. THAT is the secret towards being taken seriously and not doubted. But are women up to the challenge? THAT is a question you need to ask each other.

Play the victim or make those who dare challenge your refusal to play the victim become victims themselves!

originally posted by: umbr360
a reply to: IAMTAT

'Looking' at a woman can now run the risk of being interpreted as 'staring' or 'ogling'...and, thus, labelled sexual harassment?

From the way I've seen some men and women react to catching someone they don't find attractive looking at them...pretty much yep. Or at least the person being 'looked' at my try to claim as much.

Not that I necessarily agree, my parents met because my mum caught my dads eye at a party...if men never paid attention to women dressing in certain ways I wouldn't have been born.

We live in a world of princes and princesses. Sure, sexual harassment happens and is disgusting, but the phrase rather gets watered down with some peoples interpretation of it.

yes! creepy staring is harrassment and should be reported. Anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.

If your lover or someone you are interested in creepy stares at you then of course you are not going to report it, but unwanted creepy staring is...creepy and should be reported

a reply to: Kali74

It's a shame you don't feel empathy in addition, for people who have actually been sexually harassed and had their careers ruined because they wouldn't date/sleep with someone who had power over them in the workplace.

False assumption... I do.

It's a shame you don't feel empathy for countless lives and careers ruined because of blatant lies, or worse yet, intentional entrapment.

TheRedneck

originally posted by: Dark Ghost
Edit: you wrote: "wish i could have been stronger and also wish for all women to be stronger in situations such as that". That is probably the MOST valuable advice you have looked over. Read that again. All you have to do is speak up AT THE TIME, BE direct and be clear. Use a harsh tone. Be serious. Make them KNOW what they just did was not ok and if it happens again they WILL pay dearly. If women in the workforce (and indeed most areas of life itself within a Western country) WERE to take the advice I just gave you seriously, 99% of sexual harassment claims and 90% of other problems for women would disappear.

THAT is the secret you fail to understand. THAT is the secret towards the equality you strive for. THAT is the secret towards being taken seriously and not doubted. But are women up to the challenge? THAT is a question you need to ask each other.

Play the victim or make those who dare challenge your refusal to play the victim become victims themselves!

NO, it is NOT up to the harrassed one to speak up and be rude...it is up to the harrasser to get the subtle hints and back off.

I would never be rude to someone to their face...to tell a supervisor/hr department is a different story. That I wish for people to be stronger about.

originally posted by: veracity
its always about how you feel, if you are not offended or feel weird...then dont make a big deal about it, touching an arm is different then touching an ass.

But if she is touching your arm, then touching your chest, then slowly reaching to your ass and you dont like it...then report it.

The actual person in the situation (your feelings) are a good gauge, or should be, to what actions you next take...that is how it is in every situation in life.

I gave personal examples on how a hug in the workplace can be harmless and also threatening.

Please don't insult my intelligence. Please don't.

I didn't even say whether I found the contact from my female manager normal, comfortable or uncomfortable and you insinuated automatically that I probably didn't mind it and brought it up just to make a point. Go back and look at my post if you don't believe me. Don't you think it's worth questioning, in your own mind, why you made that assumption?

originally posted by: Dark Ghost

originally posted by: veracity
its always about how you feel, if you are not offended or feel weird...then dont make a big deal about it, touching an arm is different then touching an ass.

But if she is touching your arm, then touching your chest, then slowly reaching to your ass and you dont like it...then report it.

The actual person in the situation (your feelings) are a good gauge, or should be, to what actions you next take...that is how it is in every situation in life.

I gave personal examples on how a hug in the workplace can be harmless and also threatening.

Please don't insult my intelligence. Please don't.

I didn't even say whether I found the contact from my female manager normal, comfortable or uncomfortable and you insinuated automatically that I probably didn't mind it and brought it up just to make a point. Go back and look at my post if you don't believe me. Don't you think it's worth questioning, in your own mind, why you made that assumption?

im not insinuating anything, for all i know, you could be lying...and I dont care. I could be lying...chill out. I dont give a F if you liked it our not. I was using it as an example, just as I used my 2 personal experiences as an example.

a reply to: TheRedneck

Incorrect. Where I lightly touched on false allegation, I clearly showed sympathy.

a reply to: veracity

yes! creepy staring is harrassment and should be reported. Anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.

Define creepy staring though (Obviously staring intently for 3 minutes at someone is creepy staring...but where is the distinction between looking and creepy staring)? To be clear, I meant I have seen men and women, in clubs, dressed up purposefully in an attempt to get attention react in this way. I have seen these same people not care later on when they find the person looking attractive.

I'm guilty of the same to an extent, I believe most people probably are even if they don't realise...we don't like it when we get the reaction we wanted, but not from the people we wanted it from.

Posted in this in another, related thread.

Here is a little update, now Schlussel is claiming that she was not harassed:

Despite Reports, Fmr Fox Guest Now Claims She Was Never Sexually Harassed by Sean Hannity

a reply to: umbr360

Just always looking at someone, everytime you look in someones direction the creepy starer is looking at you.

Unwanted continued stares.

CREEPY!

originally posted by: veracity
im not insinuating anything, for all i know, you could be lying...and I dont care. I could be lying...chill out

Whether you actually think I am lying or not means nothing. Don't deflect. Don't try to act as if you don't realise what you have done. You made an assumption about me based on information you could not have possibly arrived at without doing so! Don't dig yourself into a hole you won't be able to recover from.

a reply to: IAMTAT

If a woman uses make up at work, is she trying to attract attention from men in the workplace?

But ALL the anchor/guests on Fox News and every other tv show wear make up. That includes both sexes.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

Posted in this in another, related thread.

Here is a little update, now Schlussel is claiming that she was not harassed:

Despite Reports, Fmr Fox Guest Now Claims She Was Never Sexually Harassed by Sean Hannity

That's too little too late.

Damage is already done, and magnified in the echo chamber.

a reply to: veracity

Not to mention it could be dangerous to strongly confront & threaten every sexual harasser that you will report them if they don't stop. Sometimes you have to go with your gut when it comes to dealing with sexual harassment.

I don't think there is a one-size-fits-all approach.

(BTW, I reported my boss for sexually harassing me, 17 years ago, and I was fired by the end of the day.)

a reply to: veracity

In that case then yes we can agree, continually happening over the course of the night. That's creepy staring and of course is unnecessary and wrong and you shouldn't need to be told to stop in that case.

Happening once or twice when the person appears to be looking for attention from the other (or same, whatever) sex is not. That's simply saying 'Hey I'm interested in you...if we catch each others eye react in a way that lets me know if you're interested' I have seen people overreact to this though and claim they are being sexually harassed.

originally posted by: Dark Ghost

originally posted by: veracity
im not insinuating anything, for all i know, you could be lying...and I dont care. I could be lying...chill out

Whether you actually think I am lying or not means nothing. Don't deflect. Don't try to act as if you don't realise what you have done. You made an assumption about me based on information you could not have possibly arrived at without doing so! Don't dig yourself into a hole you won't be able to recover from.

im sorry, i dont even know you.

so sorry if i made you feel uncomfortable but it seems like you got triggered very easily.

im just an anonymous forum board poster...can we move on from this now please?

There's a simple solution, people.

Public education that emphasizes to women they have the right to say "NO!" if anyone touches them inappropriately or makes offers they are uncomfortable with.

Require that any sexual complaint against anyone the plaintiff has any sort of relationship with must be accompanied by proof that the advances were rebuked on at least two separate prior occasions. Exception for forced rape or forced sexual assault... only one instance, which can be concurrent to the act, must be proven.

Anyone who lodges a formal sexual complaint that is proven false, as opposed to failure to prove guilt, has their name immediately added to the sexual offender's list and is liable for whatever damages they initially sought (loss of job, monetary, etc.)

But of course, no one wants that...

TheRedneck