Just lost my baby girl and want to vent.

reply to post by tracer7


I am sorry for your loss.

I am afraid thought that I do not fully understand your post. I understand that you are telling us that your baby died. You said that your wife lost her at 39 weeks, full term gestation is 36 weeks. Was this a typo?

I am sorry, I don't mean to be insensitive. I am a little OCD and things like that really bother me.

BTW, go ahead and vent on the people who "God's will" to you. Otherwise they will never learn.

I saw your thread last night I didn't know what to say or still don't know what to but say So I will say it with a song . May you find some solace in your time of pain .


She never really had a chance
On that fateful moonlit night
Sacrificed without a fight
A victim of her circumstance

Now that I've become aware
And I've exposed this tragedy
A sadness grows inside of me
It all seems so unfair

I'm learning all about my life
By looking through her eyes

Just beyond the churchyard gates
Where the grass is overgrown
I saw the writing on her stone
I felt like I would suffocate

Inloving memory of our child
So innocent, eyes open wide
I felt so empty as I cried
Like part of me had died

I'm learning all about my life
By looking through her eyes

And as her image
Wandered through my head
I wept just like a baby
As I lay awake in bed

And I know what it's like
To lose someone you love
And this felt just the same

She wasn't given any choice
Desperation stole her voice
I've been given so much more in life
I've got a son, I've got a wife

I had to suffer one last time
To grieve for her and say goodbye
Relive the anguish of my past
To find out who I was at last

The door has opened wide
I'm turning with the tide
Looking through her eyes

Originally posted by Konduit
I know people who have lost children themselves and I feel your pain... and being in such a situation I find it strange that you provide no pictures, no web links to a memorial page and no solemn words or thoughts about your daughter at all... just a brief harsh rant against God.

I hope the best for your journey, whatever direction it may take you.

edit on 28-4-2013 by Konduit because: (no reason given)

it is so hard to look at pictures because we have no pictures of her alive. our only good memories are while my wife was pregnant. we went to a regular weekly check up and the doctor could not find the heart beat. my rant was just that a rant about the stuff people say. yes i am doubting faith right now, just as i am doubting myself, life, everything.

reply to post by jaguarsky


my wife was at 39 weeks, she was due at any day. we were waiting for her to go into labor

reply to post by Keeper of Kheb


You're doing the same thing that pissed the OP off in the first place!

reply to post by tracer7


Since God has provided you no solace or introspection, I offer science.

It's answered in Darwin's theory of evolution.

She wasn't strong enough for existence, so she did not survive. Only the strongest of a species survives and is capable of procreation.

My research and studies go out to you.

I could be you, I can't even imagine, don't want to imagine...

If it were me, I know I would rage at the world, at least at first.

Nothing sucks more than a well meaning but oh-so-trite and hollow condolence. Especially since you are then supposed to accept it and be appreciative and such. But it's what people do...to show they care...to offer whatever thread of support you might be able to cling to.

Think of it this way, science has shown that plants that are talked to and prayed over or offered good intentions thrive much more than those that are left alone.

Sentiments matter. It may not feel like it now when you are walking through it, but it will one day, on the other side, from a distance. When you are blooming again.

So, regardless, I will say a prayer for your precious little angel and for you and your wife, Especially for your and your wife, as your baby girl is already at peace.

all I can say is this is not the world that God originally intended for humanity,

reply to post by borntowatch


Well I'm sure that will make the OP feel a lot better, "Hey don't blame god, nothing to do with him it was that Bastard death bloke sorry to say....."

Do you people ever bloody engage your brains before you speak ?? What the hell is wrong with you the dude is grieving and venting a little because of the total stupidity you people release from your tongues.

Read what you said again my friend try adding a sprinkling of reason to your cranial motions and the penny may drop.

Consider this discussion of the death of children and give it some time permeate your mind before you go to bed but after you've said your prayers , and pass it on to every other person who hasn't considered this topic =

reply to post by GenerationGap


Because that is somehow more comforting than the thought that God has a plan?

reply to post by ChristianJihad

Well I'm sure that will make the OP feel a lot better, "Hey don't blame god, nothing to do with him it was that Bastard death bloke sorry to say....."

You should brush up on your Christian theology a little bit. You know, so you can think a little bit before you "bloody speak".

What that poster was getting at is that God didn't originally create the world to have death and suffering. The choices of human beings have led to there being death and suffering on the planet. Death and suffering isn't a person, rather a consequence of our actions. So yes, we shouldn't blame God.

Brushing up on your Christian theology would allow you to understand as well that God didn't just stop there when everything was headed downhill.

Tracer7, "One day at a time my dear man, one day at a time". You have every right to grieve and rant and even pitch a b*tch if you want to...I am grieving along with you and sending hugs and love to you and your family.

I had 4 miscarriages and I often wonder what the lil nippers would have looked like, what they would have become in life. Time will dull the senses a little but one never forgets. Keep love in your heart for your partner and provide comfort for her and be good to your self as well.

The "new agers" will say some blather about karma or some such. The religious folks will say something about gods will or how he works in mysterious ways. More blather. You have every right to feel anger! Anger is one of the steps of grief and you must pay heed to it or you will never get over it. Grief, anger, depression, denial, are all part of the process and no one has the right to tell you to not feel those things. Take what you can from some comments that give you comfort. If religious comments aren't working for you, it is your choice and right to deny them. One never gets over the sad feelings of losing a loved one...you just have to work through it, not over it. Teddy bear hugs and angel kisses to you. ^j^

What that poster was getting at is that God didn't originally create the world to have death and suffering.

reply to post by octotom


Then this precludes the omniscience and omnipotence of your creator of all that is/was and will ever be.

You imply that death and suffering are not of your creator therefore logic (as well as scripture) dictate that - That which is not of your creator can only be of evil.

The paradox being, your scripture clearly informs us that your creator is the author of all evil.

You can't have your cake and eat it my friend, your god (if he is not imaginary) kills babies which is described perfectly in the intellectual spanking received by Dr Craig from Mr Harris in the video clip I posted earlier which no doubt you did not study.

Come on Tom you can do better

She wasn't strong enough for existence, so she did not survive. Only the strongest of a species survives and is capable of procreation

reply to post by GenerationGap


As true as this statement may be it would have been better to have said nothing, the OP is clearly smart enough to be aware of this your reply served no purpose.

reply to post by tracer7


You have every right to be angry, and if you weren't it could probably be argued that you weren't healthy.

There is nothing any one of us can say to ease your grief. And there is nothing any of us can tell you that can give you a sense of comfort or a way to cognitive dissonance away your pain. As much as I'm sure many here would love to. I know I would. But the truth is that this is likely the most painful experience imaginable, and that nothing anyone here or there says will make it better.

Although people here and in your life can and I'm sure will readily be there for you to vent to and cry on the shoulder of, it is, tragically, something you go through alone, even if everyone around you loves you and is being honest and genuine when they tell you that you aren't alone. Because only you two are feeling exactly what you're feeling.

Like everyone here, I wish you peace and comfort, but I know I can't give it to you. There is no way - in my opinion - to make sense of or rationalize or justify this when it happens. It just is and that's the most damning thing about it.

I wish you peace. There is nothing else I can do.

Very sorry to hear about this.

god needs another angel?

why do those who claim to be christian believe we become angels when we die/go to heaven? the bible was very VERY specific and goes into great detail about the different types of angels, the purpose they each serve, why they exist, and more importantly; that they are basically separate unrelated beings to humanity.

reply to post by tracer7


My condolences to you.

I faced the same ordeal a long time ago, and got similar replies...still getting them as an attempt to turn me back to the Christian religion.

My thoughts are with you and your family and hope that you can start over.

-Toast

reply to post by tracer7



My wife and I lost our first daughter at 38 weeks. We found out on the day of delivery, during the delivery. She had been dead for just 24 hours.

Nothing will make it feel okay. Even years later, after a nerve-wracking and terrifying second pregnancy that led to a healthy baby girl, it still hurts.

Be there for your wife. That's the only thing that kept me going. Don't dwell on anything spiritual or religious, unless it gets you through the night.

And if you need to talk, send me a personal message.

LP

reply to post by tracer7


I am very sorry for your loss dear, "its gods plan" is just a slap in the face, i would reply, if its his plan hes a pretty mean B****ED! more to the point i know its hard and its a fear i have with my partner and when we have our next baby, i have told her i will not lose you because your irraplacable, we can have another baby although it is a life, i guess what im saying is its tough but if you lost your partner you wouldnt have someone who you have known for many years and you wouldnt be able to have another baby, but even if you cant just remember you are both there to help eachother through this tough time, my best wishes are with you both at this tough time and i hope the light will become brighter for you both and just remember its not your or your partners fault

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my grand daughter at 25 weeks in my daughter's pregnancy. One of the things she and my son-in-law did was join a support group of other parents who had lost children. They also put together gift bundles for mothers who lose their babies. They contain comfort items. Their working together has helped them in their grieving process. Those are just some things they did. Perhaps they might help you as well.
Once again let me communicate my very sincere sorrow at your loss.