Just lost my baby girl and want to vent.

I am more sorry for your loss than you can know. I have made it no secret to a few here that I can say I actually do know how you feel. I lost my second daughter to SIDS when she was 3 1/2 months old 13 years ago this year. There is no other pain on earth that compares and I feel the hurt when I see others who have to bury their child like I did mine. It's not natural. No parent should ever have to bury their child/children. It's supposed to be the exact opposite and most all of the time it is. Except when it;s not.

People are well meaning. but I felt the same way you do. I still do. I despised the "I know how you feel" line. You can lose anybody in your life and it will not be anywhere near the hurt a loss like this leaves you.

I don't have a lot of good advice to give you. It is a hurt that will be with you forever. The what might have beens will come and go throughout the years. There are still times that I am almost crippled with grief till this day and my loss was years ago. You will feel guilty for laughing when you finally do. Please don't. It will be vital in coping with your loss as time goes on. One day down the road you will catch yourself smiling and notice that your burden isn't quite as heavy as it was the day before. Those days will become more frequent as times passes and that will also make you feel guilty from time to time. You kind of get the feeling that you shouldn't be able to exist let alone laugh after something like this. It feels wrong and disloyal to their memory...but it is not.

Talk. Talk. Talk to your wife. My husband kept it in, wound up losing his job and we lost everything we had. It is hard on a marriage when two people grieve differently and most men and women do.

I know I have shared too much and I hope that I have not offended you by doing so. I also know that I am a stranger, but I am here if you need to "type" it out with someone who has shared a similar experience. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family and I wish I could do more than say how sorry I am for your loss.

reply to post by tracer7


I am very sorry for your loss. Nothing hurts more than the loss of a child. Take care of yourselves.

So... Your wife miscarries and you come on here to bitch about god?
A new one from the anti-religion people

I am a Christian and I hear you, be angry, be upset and vent it all out to and at God
I dont have an answer. Is it His plan or is it not, even as a Christian I dont know. God is love but these things happen and they seem insurmountable.
Life is precious but there is a promise of better, course that doesnt help, nothing helps.
God is big enough to take your anger.
Vent at God by all means. I dont have an answer, all I can say is this is not the world that God originally intended for humanity, it was broken and death came in.
Was that Gods plan?
I have lost many children as well, it doesnt get any easier. Its always there.

reply to post by tracer7


Sorry for your loss. To hear what you have heard is insensitive. They have no other way to explain it other than to tell you it was "god's plan."

Originally posted by Berzerked
So... Your wife miscarries and you come on here to bitch about god?
A new one from the anti-religion people

edit on 28-4-2013 by Berzerked because: (no reason given)

yes i lost my child and i came here to get some # off my chest. i was not looking for a theological debate, therefore i put this in the rant section.whatever your reason for reading and responding, you seem to be the only ass hole that wanted to bitch about me. thanks

reply to post by tracer7


I am extremely sorry for your loss. I lost my best friend in July of last year in an automobile accident. He was 27 years old. He was an only child and his mother is still not over and will never be over it. My wife is currently pregnant and she is 18 weeks. This makes me very nervous about the whole ordeal. We will be praying for you my friend.

I am so sorry. I can't even imagine how you feel nor will I pretend to.
My thoughts and prayers to you and yours.

PLPL

I would not even want to go there.

I would buy a keg of rum, and hole up until it was gone.

And then maybe buy another.

reply to post by tracer7

Originally posted by Berzerked ( Some uncaring words, I wish not to repeat here...)

(The op' s reply to him)

yes i lost my child and i came here to get some # off my chest. i was not looking for a theological debate, therefore i put this in the rant section.whatever your reason for reading and responding, you seem to be the only ass hole that wanted to bitch about me. thanks

They need to remove this uncaring individual's post from this thread. At a time that is so devastating for you and and your family, this is simply unacceptable. Ignore him, you need to heal; know that most of us wish you all the best in our hearts.

reply to post by tracer7


Ouch bro.. thats hard.. and who ever says its gods plan is a douche imo

Originally posted by rick004
I lost my 2 year old grandson in a drowning accident , I don't know what was harder , my grieving the loss of my grandson or watching my daughter go through losing her only child !! My thoughts are with You !!

I came very close to losing my daughter in a drowning accident and to this day when ever I think about it I shed a tear and the guilt always seems to resurface. The thought of that day tortures me.. But though I had my run in, nothing compares to what you have been through and best wishes to your family also.

Originally posted by Berzerked
So... Your wife miscarries and you come on here to bitch about god?
A new one from the anti-religion people

edit on 28-4-2013 by Berzerked because: (no reason given)

Some advice, don't bother posting in threads like this if thats all you have to say, you about as useful as a unicycle with no peddles.

reply to post by tracer7


I'm so very, very sorry for your loss tracer

There are no words only time, please know that although what people are telling you seem so empty they mean well.

The best thing to do now is just spend your time alone with your wife and heal, there is time enough for others in the future.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your wife

Adequate words simply do not exist within the English language to address heartbreaking events such as you have experienced. As others have pointed out people feel compelled to say something because in the realities of loss words are the only thing they feel they can offer.

Grief is a combination of emotions and anger is a component part of what you and your wife are currently facing. I sincerely hope that you are both strong enough not to let that anger define you as people, and I am heartily sorry for your loss.

Be the rock that your wife needs you to be right now and allow that to help carry you through the coming weeks. The time immediately after loss can be described as like being surrounded by mirrors in that everywhere you look you see yourself reflected back at you. Supporting and loving your wife through the coming weeks can be a part of the process that allows the glass in those mirrors to become translucent and the way forward becoming visible to you.

Heartfelt condolences and best wishes I will be keeping you both in my thoughts.

My deepest condolences.

I know exactly how you feel; we lost our first child 10 years ago and it's been quite hard for us.

I'm not sure how much it will help, but hugs are all I can offer.

*hugs*

I hope it helps a little.

oddpenguin

Nobody can provide the comfort you need but I'm truly sorry for your loss.

again i thank you all for the support and kind words. i see so many of you with similar stories, thank you for sharing. i am sorry for bringing up emotions, but your stories give me courage. i feel lost in the dark, but your kind words bring a light of hope in these dark times.

I know people who have lost children themselves and I feel your pain... and being in such a situation I find it strange that you provide no pictures, no web links to a memorial page and no solemn words or thoughts about your daughter at all... just a brief harsh rant against God.

I hope the best for your journey, whatever direction it may take you.

Originally posted by Berzerked
So... Your wife miscarries and you come on here to bitch about god?
A new one from the anti-religion people

edit on 28-4-2013 by Berzerked because: (no reason given)

Please refrane from these kinds of comments, if you wanted a fight go peddle your wares elsewhere, you obviously have no feeling or remorse of any kind. I don't need to know you to say that, so yes, I am labeling you as a foul an terrible person with no knowledge of anything an who has no business on this site, regardless of your opinion an free will, i care not. You see a human being grieving an this is all you put? this is exactly what this tight nit community has been talking about, people like you are dreggs of society. Offer advice an help, not question or wonder, I really want to just reach thru this screen an.....