Just lost my baby girl and want to vent.

The words you hear from others are words they meant to try to console you. I will not try, I can only say I am very sorry for your loss.

Many of us here can feel your pain in your post.

I know I can do nothing for you, but I wish I could help.


I am man enough to admit, I have tears in my eyes, right now feeling your pain. I am very very sorry for your loss.

reply to post by tracer7


I'm sorry to hear about your daughter.

My condolences.

I can't think of any worse pain in life, my heart and thoughts go out to you.

So sorry for your loss. It is a burden unimaginable for people that haven't gone through it. And people that say it was meant to be, or there must have been a reason, or that it is gods plan -should shut the f up. You have no idea how hurtful those words are and you might just find your offensive self getting stabbed with a pen.

I had a little boy that never made it through the cesarean. A part of me died with him. In fact, I will go so far as to say that my soul shattered that day and it took a very long time to feel any semblance of normality. I wasn't going to rest until I had a baby in my arms, and it was a long, hard battle to finally have another. I still can't talk about our lost son without crying. I won't tell you that it gets better, but you will find that as time goes on, you don't have as many shattered feelings

I feel bad that it had to happen. Your daughter is at peace now but you and your wife still have to suffer for a long time. I would not be able to handle loosing a daughter well, especially after getting to know her for that long. It is a lot harder than losing a child right after it is born. My sympathy goes out to you and your wife.

reply to post by tracer7


Very sorry for your loss. Heart wrenching to say the least.

I can't imagine what you must be going through, however I can imagine how those comments, however well meant they were, could get to you.

The people around you are just letting you know they feel for you. There are no words that can help you.

Just in case you need this I will try and help. When we suffer such a devastating loss we often retreat deep inside and shut out the world for a while. This is necessary to heal. Just a caution, be very careful not to shut out your Partner. It can happen without conscious awareness.

Your partner needs lots of Hugs and Cuddles, so do you! Hugs are wonderful in that, in the one Hug you can give love and support and at the same time you can receive love and support. Treat Hugs in this way, it does not take from your Partner if you draw strength for yourself. Hugs are much needed right now.

=Hugs=

P

People say the most insensitive things. I had a miscarriage a long time ago and people said similar things. I wanted to kick them.

I will just say that I am so sorry to hear about your loss. My heart goes out to you and your family.

reply to post by tracer7


I am not going to sit here and say it's going to be okay and God needed an angel.
My friend lost her 2 year old daughter 6months ago it's tragic to see a Mother/Father go through that sort of pain.
It's not okay and it's not fair and she should be here and not taken away from you.

You scream, you yell, you cry, you curse god for taking her from you. My words are never going to bring her back and it breaks my heart that you have to go through this as I have seen what it can do to you it's devastating. I pray for you and your family and my heart goes out to you at this very hard time. I am so sorry for your loss. May your baby girl rest easy..

reply to post by tracer7


Many years ago I lost my own daughter at almost exactly the same number of weeks as you lost yours. We even had a crib and room ready..

So, I can understand. Anger, pain, sadness. I can understand. I've been there.. Just typing this much brings tears to my eyes, and I honestly feel I want to just sob. Its been over a decade for me and it still really hurts.

I wish you and your wife all the peace there is.

PM me if you need and ear or a shoulder. I have been there..

Peace to you..

Frogs

Sometimes there are no words of wisdom. The only thing I can say is to grasp onto what you do have in your life and love them the best you can. So sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry for your loss. People never have the words to say unless they have lost a child themselves. My heartfelt condolence to you and your wife.

reply to post by Frogs


thank you all so much for even reading my rant, and giving me hope. i just dont know how to feel right now. i feel im crazy with emotion. folks on ats are truly amazing and i thank you.

reply to post by tracer7


Oh my...I am so sorry. Just the feelings of dread about the possibility, with no complications during pregnancy, which I felt and had to punch down to let the joy flow during the long wait...then and now, I couldn't even imagine how terrible it would be to lose him. In fact, until finding out my wife was pregnant, I didn't understand why people wait 12 weeks to announce (being that is when the most danger is.) I thought - oh, if you miscarry at 4 weeks, so what, you just try again. Boy did my understanding change the moment I knew she was pregnant. At 3 weeks I couldn't even bear the thought, and figured my mind would splinter and i'd be MPD for life. So to a degree, I understand how terrible it must be for you and your wife - but it is probably 100x worse than I think.

Again, i'm very sorry for you all, and I may you have the strength and support for yourself - and even moreso, for your wife. Take good care of her...

As far as the stupid things people say, its because they don't know what to say. I'm sure you understand that, and I can understand why it is bothering you at this time. Rare is the person with the right words in the face of such tragedy.

reply to post by tracer7


I cannot begin to feel what you are feeling right now, as I have not lost a child. I have no idea what to say to help you deal with this and realize you are venting and sometimes that is just what a person needs to do, vent.

I have suffered other losses in life and I, too, got tired of hearing some crap that was the same ole same ole from people about the loss.

What would you like to hear? What could possibly help you deal with this loss? What do you say to your wife to comfort her?

I am so VERY VERY sorry! Words cannot do anything to explain or lessen the pain you and the mother must be feeling. So just know that I am thinking of you all, and you are not alone in your despair.
My mother also lost a child at birth. She still thinks of her almost 40 years later. I can just wish and hope for you all to be able to smile and to have the chance again to hold a baby in your arms.
My deepest condolences..hugs

I lost my 2 year old grandson in a drowning accident , I don't know what was harder , my grieving the loss of my grandson or watching my daughter go through losing her only child !! My thoughts are with You !!

Well, you must carry on and try again to have another child if this is possible.

For sure most people out there are one-track minded and will say this idiotic religious etc. garbage that they ACTUALLY BELIEVE...

I have found , that trying to get away from these people will only make them say it, pray it, more.

Find someone of like mind, a good friend who can explain to people just how sad it really is, and meaningless to try and help someone in this way...they need to simmer down, it really NEVER helps.

I can feel your strength from here, glad you posted this...we are with you.

So sorry for your loss my wife and I lost our 1st child a little over a year and a half ago and we now have an amazing daughter but not a day goes by that I don't stop and think and miss the child I never met And it never will I wish you and your wife the best and am truly sorry for your loss.