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InTheLight
I'm not going to play Dear Abby here, sorry, but since I don't have her version of events, I would be unable, in any event, to offer a fair opinion. The only reason I'm posting on this thread is to dispel the misguided notion that feminism is solely responsible for the downfall of the traditional marriage. I believe I have posted studies and information as to some of the factors that feed into this phenomenon and societal trendf, although I left out religion (a biggie).
Action expresses priorities. Mahatma Gandhiedit on 12-11-2013 by InTheLight because: (no reason given)
orangetom1999
InTheLight
I'm not going to play Dear Abby here, sorry, but since I don't have her version of events, I would be unable, in any event, to offer a fair opinion. The only reason I'm posting on this thread is to dispel the misguided notion that feminism is solely responsible for the downfall of the traditional marriage. I believe I have posted studies and information as to some of the factors that feed into this phenomenon and societal trendf, although I left out religion (a biggie).
Action expresses priorities. Mahatma Gandhiedit on 12-11-2013 by InTheLight because: (no reason given)
What is to know InTheLight??
The question I am asking is ..
Do I have a higher unwritten social and moral obligation to "Flashdance" her through her water heater problems..with my private property..my labor, knowledge of how to do it, and also my monies...which are also my property. She has spent most of her money supporting her daughter and grandchildren for the last year. There is not much safety net remaining now.
Do I have such a higher unwritten moral and ethical obligation with my private property that I must allow her needs to default through at my RISK??? Even though I am also at the same time working 12 hour nights!!
It is that simple. You see!!??
Oh..and while I am at it..I dont really believe that feminism is soley responsible for the downfall of traditional marriage. But feminism has very heavily contributed to it over the years. And they have contributed to it in a manner which their positions are false but have alot of people..male and female deceived.
Todays younger women are not all buying into alot of the older feminist positions.
I became surprised at this when I began some years back to detect that there were a noticeable number of women who were deciding to stay home and raise their children.
They had seen what happened to themselves and their mothers. That the feminist positions had not made their mothers satisfied and happy. That their mothers were growing olde alone and unhappy...not fulfilled by the feminist positions.
When I began to sense this I was a bit surprise after years of the standard feminist drivel.
What alarms me is this business of how they have now morphed feminism, racism, homosexuality and now anti christianity into one program. They have obviously become the thing that they used to detest and speechify against.
And Government is doing this and telling that it is they and their social handlers who have been running all of these socailist groups for and towards a direction.
They have used and misused these cloistered groups towards a goal and in a manner that these groups could be protected from the free market of ideas and thought.
It is obvious to me that their goal is the social, moral, and ethical destruction of western civilization...by chaos principles.
Divide and Conquer...by chaos.
I do not believe these groups have any idea that they are being used and misused towards this chaotic goal. I believe that they are only looking at their individual programs and someone wants it to continue this way.
Gotta make haste now.
Thanks for your post,
Orangetom
orangetom1999
InTheLight,
That will not be happening as of this morning when I got off work I received a phone call telling me to not bother with helping her.
I got the message. No problem.
While I understand her desire to stand by her family..I do not approve of the method or rationale by which she chooses to accomplish this. The unwritten social sex rules so to speak.
I will not be going back there..even if she changes her mind down the road..which I doubt. She will most likely find someone more programmable...who has a greater desire to run touchdowns.
Gotta make haste now for another long shift,
Thanks,
Orangetom
I suppose she looked to you as a friend to help and when you were put to the test, you failed.
So these 12 hours shifts go on for how many days straight? Then you get a few days off inbetween, right?
Does this book forget a sixth type of marriage?
Are things always wedded bliss? Probably not, but sometimes people get married and decide to work on things because they love the other person (not for the kids, because they’re afraid of being alone, and not because they can save some money). And once in a while, we hear that can work out well.
InTheLight
reply to post by orangetom1999
Yes, so the realization for us all here might be that each couple should define their union and it's obligations and commitment to their very particular needs and not follow anyone else's (or the media's) ideas of how it should be.
As my friend across the river told me when we were comparing notes on women one day...it was quite profound the way he phrased it.
His wife had passed away and he was back on the marketplace.
What he told me was that he discovered what so many women were coming over to his house and for what they were looking. They were looking at his house, swimming pool..land etc etc et al...looking for what they could get access to for themselves and their children. They were not looking at what was missing from his life and what he needed from them...Peace..not just Piece.
Piece was the tool they were willing to use and misuse to keep him blindsided..while leading him down the road to the altar and access to property for them and their children without work and without RISKS.
Now Mark..a fellow in my crew..his wife does not work...
But he feels that he has to run her programs to please her..consisting of doing and taking care of the children and doing stuff for his mother in law..and his wife too...In addition to his 12 hour shift. What he does not get ..is a good amount of sleep. His wife does not change her hours..but he does..even if it means lack of sleep. He runs her expected programs in addition to his programs. He adapts to her and the childrens needs...but she does not change her program..and take on his traditional roles...but he takes on her roles.
You see In THe Light..the problem with feminism..is that the males were expected even demanded that they take on so many more traditional female roles..but the females were not willing to take on more traditional male roles. What the females wanted to do is have time for more female stuff.
The males felt that more was expected of them but more was not given to them. Many males now understand that his false paradigm is what passed for equality...it was validity..not truth.
InTheLight
Orangetom, once again you have missed my message and go back to the same old rhetoric or misguided beliefs, as well as citing examples that don't address the real issues. But, hey, if you need to cling onto to those misguided beliefs and continually fail at relationships and blame all women, then get ready for a long-term relationship of one (just you).
As for this thread which is just a blaming and generalization game.
Respect, like trust, is a two-way street. If you're not willing to give it, then you definitely don't deserve it.
and
In a relationship it's not 50/50 percent, it's 100/100 percent.
InTheLight
As per your article Orangetom, I thought you didn't go with studies and statistics? This is a baffling turnaround. LOL
InTheLight
I was asking why you suddenly turned around and used studies (well only one study) ... oh, wait, because it suits your argument...nevermind.
I wouldn't say women are necessarily strong who reject potential slackers, moochers, and/or unmotivated men, rather I'd say smart...very smart because it takes two pay checks to only live a somewhat decent lifestyle - then throw a couple of kids and pets in there, then the costs start climbing dramatically.
orangetom1999
InTheLight
I was asking why you suddenly turned around and used studies (well only one study) ... oh, wait, because it suits your argument...nevermind.
I wouldn't say women are necessarily strong who reject potential slackers, moochers, and/or unmotivated men, rather I'd say smart...very smart because it takes two pay checks to only live a somewhat decent lifestyle - then throw a couple of kids and pets in there, then the costs start climbing dramatically.
Very Smart?? Wow. You know InTheLight...this is not good...for I am about to agree with you.
That could be a very dangerous precedent..or trend line. I shall have to watch myself very closely here. I may be agreeing with you entirely to much...Danger Danger Danger!!!!!
I say this because that is how it felt to have someone look to me to flash dance them through a broken water heater...particularly when I am on 12 hour shifts.
Slacker, moocher, and unmotivated. I am very gratified that you were able to clarify and set that position for me.
Thank you,
Orangetom
Respect, like trust, is a two-way street. If you're not willing to give it, then you definitely don't deserve it.
That trend line I mentioned above is specific to choosing a person to enter into a long-term relationship for the purpose of achieving mutual goals and not be thrown out in the street should one or the other lose their job. As for your lady friend, she simply asked you for a favour, which in no way constitutes, in my mind, her trying to use you for what she can get. That's what loving couples do, they help each other.
I suppose she looked to you as a friend to help and when you were put to the test, you failed.
So these 12 hours shifts go on for how many days straight? Then you get a few days off inbetween, right?
I wouldn't say women are necessarily strong who reject potential slackers, moochers, and/or unmotivated men, rather I'd say smart...very smart because it takes two pay checks to only live a somewhat decent lifestyle - then throw a couple of kids and pets in there, then the costs start climbing dramatically.
Now I have no clue if or when the water heater got repaired. I am not really interested. The manner in which the last phone call ended..to me indicated a deeper message was being sent. Once again..no problem by me. I have received worse news and informations before by phone.
His own negative self-beliefs about commitment, love and relationships will guarantee that this relationship won’t last. He has no intention of making a commitment to her, and now that she is asking for a little more, he’s finding reasons to back away. My best bet is that he will sabotage this relationship fairly soon and it will be over.