Need Some Honesty from all you Single Men Out There

Originally posted by MountainLaurel
reply to post by timidgal

 

he will show up at your door begging for forgivness

You girls think of yourselves a bit too highly.
Ever consider that the other person might have some self respect?
Maybe pride even? I would never abase myself to such a level,
especially when I know I'm in the right.
What needs to happen is communication, sharing of experiences that lead
to such actions. Attempt at understanding maybe, and then some kind of
reconciliation if at all possible. Ah, I forgot, you women want drama, right.

Another thing I keep noticing, you girls are attracted to losers and sociopaths,
this is very interesting to me, seriously, you girls love problems huh?

I have never seen such an egotistical and utterly ignorant perspective to life.
Every try to put yourselves in the other's shoes? You may avoid many problems
doing it this way.

reply to post by timidgal


So far in life I put us men into 2 main sections, Cowboys and Angels. I might be wrong yet there are plently of both out there, and it seems you met a cowboy. Angel is on his way to you if do not look for him, when you are in love with yourself you will attract a decent angel.

Date sites is just a lousy way to start a relationship because you really are like shopping. What they look like, are they successful.

Originally posted by Gamma MO
reply to post by whyamIhere

 

MOST men are dogs.

I can play that one too, most women are "insert female version of dog here".
Kinda counter productive doncha think?

Originally posted by sean
Date sites is just a lousy way to start a relationship because you really are like shopping. What they look like, are they successful.

Yes, exactly, definately, yes.

In short, why I disslike dating websties.

reply to post by zidanelittle


I will try not to make myself laugh here.

Umm, no, really, no.

When you're IN love with yourself you will attract a sociopath.
Where do you think narcisism leads to? oh, right, attracting narcissists.
Biggest narcissists out there? The sociopathic kind.

reply to post by Radekus

Yes, perhaps you're right. We approach each other circling, sniffing, growling and wary. Trying to determine if this is friend or foe.

Not sure how you get around that.

I reiterate , in case you missed it...
Those sites are full of phoneys and loosers.....
maybe even you too? have a reality check sweety.....
real people are encountered out of your Cyber world.....
Find something valuable, and useful to do with your time....join groups of people, not photos and bull#.
Do stuff for others, and participate in your community
But heres the critical part
....one lie its goodbye.....simple....
good luck

Originally posted by Gamma MO
reply to post by Radekus

 

Not sure how you get around that.

edit on 5-12-2012 by Gamma MO because: (no reason given)

Gave up for the time being.
Focusing on building fundaments to my life first.

reply to post by Radekus

Most narcissists don't love themselves at all. They despise themselves inside. That's why it is so disproportionate to the outside world. They make a show out of loving themselves because deep down they think no one else ever really will.

Truly loving yourself is the key to finding the right person. When you love yourself, it can't help but spill out into the outside world.

Don't look for someone to love you. Instead look for someone YOU can offer real love TO (in a healthy, balanced way).

Originally posted by Gamma MO
reply to post by whyamIhere

 

My apologies. I hate it when people generalize and I just did.

Let's just say in most interactions between men and women (before they form permanent attachments), MOST men are dogs. Women need to open up their eyes wide

BEFORE they open up their hearts.

I can agree with that statement...

Before I made a lifetime commitment to my wife.

I was a different person...

reply to post by timidgal


He loves sex. People can be genuinely nice but just love the excitement of new relationships and sex so much that they lose themselves. Find yourself a one-woman man hon. You have to dig deeper into their soul before you know how people truly are.

reply to post by Gamma MO


thanks, very true. ooo and when i do i won't be letting go take care everyone! have a Happy New Years everyone!

Originally posted by JibbyJedi
reply to post by timidgal

 

what is it that drives you to stray? Can someone please explain this insanity to me?

For me, it's the Darkside you women are infected with.
For many others, it's your Backside.

I should correct myself... I don't "stray" because of the Darkside, I don't stray period.
I withdraw emotionally.

In all fairness, the first thing that happens is an emotional withdrawal, if there's any emotional involvement to begin with. The next step for many talking monkeys, is straying toward other women.

Try to keep your distance from a talking monkey if you want a long lasting, faithful & honest relationship. You know who I'm talking about, the meat & potatoes, sports fan, shaved head, Budweiser "can" drinking mongoloids. I'm not apologizing for that statement, I just described parts of my father.

Outside the box opinion.... these "bodies" are just vehicles for a unique consciousness.
The body does not necessarily represent the individual consciousness inside of it.
Don't always judge a book by it's cover, judge it by it's reputation.

Strangely enough, his willingness for emotional intimacy is what drew me to him in the first place. There seemed to be some depth to this guy and there was never any warning signs of emotional withdrawal.

I like your outside the box opinion and believe me when I say that, physically, he was not what I would have been attracted to in the past. I learned from those past mistakes and decided to take a chance on this guy because he was the complete antithesis of what I had been attracted to in the past. Is he decent looking? Sure, but more importantly, I thought he was a decent and kind person - that's the main thing that attracted me to him.

reply to post by Shdak

Thanks for the honest input!

Originally posted by nerbot
This may sound harsh but it seems like you're happy to discuss this with the whole world so far except the one person you should.

You cannot expect honesty and openness unless you can give it yourself. Ask him about this now and tell us what he says afterwards.

No, not really "happy" to discuss it with anyone. I would have preferred that it never happened in the first place but remember, this started as a rant..

As far as discussing it with him, I'm trying, but sadly, with a cynical perspective because I don't know what to believe anymore.

reply to post by Tardacus

I tend to agree with you. With that said, that's the reason why I was interested in everyone else's opinions and I'm still trying to figure the whole thing out. The group seems to be split between my trying to keep an open mind and talking to him (more rationally than I previously did, which was purely driven by emotion and not a good thing) and kicking him to the curb.

Originally posted by darkbake
reply to post by timidgal

 

I would recommend in the future asking questions with an open mind (in other words, don't expect a certain answer, and listen only to be more informed on your decision making)

I've always prided myself on keeping my cool, but there are certain trigger points for everyone which when pushed, the practice of relaxed and open minded listening becomes very difficult. I'm not saying that it is right; merely being honest.

One more thing - in my age group (20's), girls stray and guys are looking for an exclusive relationship. In the younger age group, girls are even starting to pursue guys.

Now that's very interesting. Unfortunately, I seem to be in the age group to which the opposite theory applies.

Originally posted by timidgal
Then completely out of the blue, a friend emails me to say that she just saw a profile of my man on one of the dating sites and it's current because it says he's "Online Now". WTF???

And she had evidence of this or was she just jealous?

reply to post by Nettlas

Originally posted by Nettlas
I´m not middleaged, but I´m single

Maybe he really was looking for a healthy loving relationship and felt that you two wasn´t on the same level, maybe he wanted more, maybe he wanted less. Who knows. The key is to talk to each other, I mean, did you ask him why he was on the dating site? Be straight with him, talk, and be grown up about it. If you really love each other then a little thing like this wouldn´t come in your way.

Strangely enough, this was the first relationship I've ever been involved in where my partner was willing to talk about absolutely everything - our feelings, insecurities and vulnerabilites - in addition to positive things like our morals and values, trying to build a future together and what we found so appealing about each other's personalities, etc.

As for being grown up and not letting a little thing like this get in the way, grown ups are allowed to get emotional when they've been hurt and I'm sorry but I don't consider this to be a "little thing". Remember, this guy had me take down my profile - he took down his and then put up a brand new one after we have an agreement to be exclusive. I can't see anything "little" about that.

I would have been scared away just by the thought of that my partner was "spying" on me. That is not how you build a healty relationship. And so what if he was on a dating site, just because you are on a diet it doesn´t mean you can´t still look at the menu.

I wasn't spying on him so please don't try to turn this around on me. As for the rest of your comment, I will respectfully disagree with your rationale.

So you know, if you do like him, don´t let him go so easily.

And that is wherein my dilemma lies...