Over 30 years old with Aspergers Syndrome, How do you cope?

reply to post by Frankenchrist

Let's now call it Adult Indigo Child Syndrome.

Except that people with aspergers don't consider it a good thing that makes them all super special. It's a real thing, unlike Indigo children. Indigo children that are adults are just weirdos trying to seem special. Parents of Indigo children call them Indigo children because they refuse to recognize ADHD or Aspergers and want the little precious to be seen as special instead of having issues.

People that ascribe to the Indigo thing are basically so dumb they joined a cult. A very stupid cult.

reply to post by R6A6W6




Look into Transcranial Magnetic stimulation,

After seeing this we recommended it to My wife's mother who is the care taker for a man that is in his late forties with Aspergers, we got him to try this.

He has since made great leaps in his social abilities having tried this treatment, I highly recommend you look into it.

reply to post by Frankenchrist


You made me smile lol, you might be right.
All I know is that I seem to think differently and I don't fit in with others

Like I said you can call it whatever you like.

Wow, I didn't know there were so many doctors on this site who could give you a second opinion.
Im constantly amazed by the lack of sympathy and civility on this site. I mean, I know we all see conspiracy everywhere, which is why we're on the site, but give the guy a break.

Well, he could have posted this in a medical/self-help forum. Did he? No, he posted it on a conspiracy forum full of nutters like myself. Some of us believe the pharmaceutical industry has a secret plan for world domination, so it follows such theories would be outlined here.

A lot of us feel the need to brand ourselves, to base our whole identities around some label that makes us feel special in some way - assburgers, Indigo Children, or whatever. I'm guilty of that myself, until I grew out of it some years ago.

Oh, for crying out loud, what don't people get about Asperger's? It's not difficult to understand....It is NOT a made-up disease born out of hypochondria, it is an autism spectrum disorder. It is totally real, we do have some differences in how we experience the world, hence our difficulty with fitting into a social setting in which others see the world, and think about it, differently than you do.

Unlike the more severe autistics, we actually do want to socialize, but we're so bad at it, due to problems with our lack of ability to interpret subtle social cues, poor facial recognition, and our lack of a filter over what we say. In more intractable cases, an Aspie may never even be able to move out of his parent's house because he cannot hold down a job. We get overly-stimulated pretty easily, you see, and then we don't act like we should.

Tip-toeing, hand-flapping, and echolalia (repeating what others say) are very common, especially in child Aspies. Most of us are also very sensitive to how clothing feels, and itchy tags and tight clothes are torture for us. Loud, crowded places are too much for us and all we want to do is leave. Parts of our brain work amazingly well (I could read in Kindergarten but I couldn't tie my shoes until I was 9), and other parts....not so well. I can get lost in a place I've been a million times, but my knowledge of where streets are, and geography, is really good. I suck at math, despite my IQ. I used to have no clue as to what was the proper thing to do when it came to other people, growing up was torture and one embarrassment after another.

Now, on to the OP's original intent of the thread: I was diagnosed at 46 years of age, and that was only because I was working with autistics and the mentally retarded, and being with the Aspies was like looking into a mirror for me, much of the time. So I went and had myself tested.

I was actually relieved. Everything weird and upsetting about my past suddenly made sense. I am in a "lucky" situation, because I am married to an Aspie as well. We understand each other very well, and tend to be hermits together out in the middle of nowhere, our idea of heaven. No neighbors that will end up thinking we're weirdoes.

I do have a good ability to act normally, as long as I don't have to stay too long with one group of people. If I have to converse for too long, my weirdness and odd way of never being able to modulate my voice volume correctly (half the time I'll talk too softly, the other too loudly) starts to be noticeable. So hubby and I are perfectly happy to do only occasional socializing. But we're older (I'm 50 and he's 56) so we're not youngsters still trying to party and have what appears to be a normal social life.

You can only be the way you were made. You will learn to get around better socially by learning a part the way an actor does. It took me forever to realize that, when people ask how you are, they really don't want to know...it's just a formulaic greeting, so I respond with the required corresponding greeting: "I'm fine, thanks, how are you?"

As you get older, you will learn and get better at it.....of course, my husband is still having issues with proper social boundaries, but he is friendly and open and he knows he's being an "ass burger" but doesn't care. Because I'm more OCD, I do care, so my behavior is measured, and learned from others, rather than my true self. I can be myself at home. The few times I do have to socialize, I can play the part.

reply to post by Frankenchrist


My oldest son has Aspergers, it is very real. He is not on medication. He does not act like a typical 17 year old, he is different. He wants to fit in and by all accounts he should, he just can't. He is 6' 3, nice build, a really handsome young man. He is very smart, top of his class. But when faced with social situations, he just doesn't get it. He has tried to explain it to me, but he struggles to make me understand. He doesn't understand the pettiness of people, small talk doesn't interest him at all. He is very factual and is very well versed on the subjects that do grab his attention.

Unless you have lived with someone with this syndrome, I don't think it is fair for you to belittle it. Not everyone is the same. It's not just being human.

reply to post by R6A6W6


Aspies are usually black and white people....and rarely they enter the mirky grey area. Aspies and Autistic children & adults are a very unique people, they are just wired up a little differently to mainstream people. Aspies THINK, their analytical skills and creativity always amaze me to no end. I can not imagine a world without this group of boys and girls. A majority of people shun them, I say they should be treasured. Without them, we would not know what classical music is, NASA would'nt be where they are today and nor would medicine.

Here, try this. Before mixing alcoholic beverages, draw circles on the crotch area of the females at the social gathering. Then draw arrows on the crotch of all the boys. Maybe place hand prints on the breasts of the girls shirts as well. That should ameliorate the horrible effects of 'the syndrome'. I'm pretty sure this will help everyone 'get it'. Oh, I almost forgot: there must be a big dollar sign somewhere. Maybe a brand new car with a big bow for the afflicted boy or girl who breaks out of their shell the fastest. Next, they'll be making phat cash just scalping tickets to their friends, to all of the hottest acts.

I'm sorry...I am just seeing too many threads started up just so we can all watch a diagnosis become a brand. And you cannot take it back. You don't get it that you are being set up like bowling pins.

reply to post by R6A6W6


Dear R6A6W6,,

I have Asperger's also. I don't like what you said. I don't like hearing people called neurotypical. It is insulting and rude. There is nothing wrong with being normal and I detest the fact that you would even consider abandoning your family. Do you also consider the color blind as less than you? We are what we are, we are not better and they not worse.You seem to believe that some test said you are autistic that it has changed your life, the test means nothing, you are who you are. Does it need a name?

reply to post by davidmann


You're being an ass burger. Your post is classic aspie; cold, mean, and condescending.

I'm clumsy as hell. It's nice to know what is wrong with people who have for years known desperately that something was screwy with them.

If you don't want to be labeled, then bully for you, but know that whether you confront your differentness or not, you have no right to call others who do confront it chumps.

Your post explains quite concisely why many aspies are shunned and have no friends. Enjoy your ride, friend, it's gonna be a lonely one.

reply to post by FissionSurplus


This is bang on. As someone who is good friends with a person who has aspergers (I was also his room mate for 2 years), I can assure you everything in this post is cold hard reality.

There were many times where my friend wouldn't get certain cues that I was trying to send that I just wanted to be left alone. I often felt rude or like I was being a jerk, because I didn't know how else to send those cues in a way that would be understood (it turns out I just should have been blunt, and spared the formalities we use with others on a regular basis).

Being an introvert myself, I got along very well with him. In fact, at one point, through discussions with him in regards to the condition, I thought I might have it myself. But it became apparent over time that there were very specific symptoms he displayed, that I did not have.

Aspergers does not make someone disabled. My friend and former room mate was highly intelligent. It was simply an issue of how he was wired. An inability to take social ques, or empathize in the way that "normies" can.

It is a very real disorder, with very real effects, and has little to do with the pharmaceutical industry. People can cry "conspiracy" all they like. There was a time when I did the same, and convinced myself that it was all just BS. But living with someone who had the condition for 2 years changed my view completely.

reply to post by FissionSurplus


Thank you for your response and for staying on topic. I got myself diagnosed because I read about Aspergers when my son was diagnosed Autistic and thought I was reading a book about myself, that's how well Aspergers describes me.

reply to post by FissionSurplus


I read about the 'syndrome'. What a joke. It just gets better and better.

I can hardly believe my eyes.

reply to post by AQuestion


Parts of your post are correct however no one knows what normal (or "perfection") is because there's no such thing. Every man and woman is unique in this world.

reply to post by davidmann


Aspergers Syndrome and Autism is NOT a disease! It's classified as a BIOLOGICAL disorder but in fact it's not a biological disorder at all. Why? Just because they may not fit in to mainstream? Perhaps mainstream has a disorder! They are a group of people who are wired up differently but then so are'nt we all?

I have a 21 year old son who was diagnosed with Aspergers as a young boy. So I know something about it.

Is being teased in school a common trait of people who have autistic disorders?

It seems to me that having a disorder that limits your capability to connect with others is going to show up in school. And when it does it's probably not going to look pretty.

reply to post by davidmann


A disease? My good little troll, it is a SYNDROME. Not a disease. Two completely different things. The more you post, the less you say.

Diseases, you catch or develop. Asperger's is the way a brain is wired that is different from the non-autistic population. It is apparent that you are not interested in a rational discussion, but rather a trolling session to derail this thread and take it over as rudely as possible. Now, THAT is a disease. The cure is to get off the internet.

I don't believe in Asperger's or Autism.

Phony baloney open-ended catch-all diagnoses to keep people drugged and ignorant.

reply to post by jonnywhite


Yes, absolutely. Children always target those who are different, and Aspies are bully magnets. We never know why we are targeted, but we always are. If people weren't so judgmental and demanding conformity among everybody, I think it would be an easier world for us.

Unfortunately, that's not how the world (or people) work.

reply to post by AQuestion


I used the word neurotypical because in my opinion the word (normal) is insulting as well, because the opposite of normal is abnormal. Also if anyone can properly define normal they must be abnormal, because everyone is different.

You don't know me personally so you wouldn't know what its like living with my family and you wouldn't know why I say what I say. My family makes very little effort to understand why I behave like I do. So they are just my circumstances ok, I don't want to go into it now cos its off topic.