It's time my story needs to be heard

reply to post by RobinB022


I'm sorry, but could you be more specific about this inconsistency that you found? I don't see it. I see that I described my emotional state before AND after an event.

If it sounds strange me saying that I had no support before, but did make a connection with my mother..and later, my father...this is not inconsistency but simply a description of before and after the fact.

My mom was very helpful. But I still felt like it wasn't enough, you know? I still needed my big brother and my best friends from school and my girlfriend. I did not have these people. My mother was my only source of comfort, but for some reason I needed more.

My mother could only be my mother. She couldn't be my friend and big brother and romantic interest.

Also, don't forget that I was treated for cancer for about 2 and a half years. A lot of changes happened in that time frame and I tried to get the gist of it in my OP.

I hope this clears up the confusion. If not, please be more detailed in the inconsistency and I will attempt to clarify.

reply to post by VekTorVik


I really appreciate your post and your call for us to be realistic. That's something I, and others, need to be reminded of sometimes.

I an attempt to answer your question of why someone would want to watch me sleeping...

All I can say is that we experience different states of consciousness and that reality seems to behave a different way during these altered states. You ought to already know how little our senses can reveal to us about waking reality what with the electromagnetic spectrum being so vast compared to our ability to witness it with the physical senses.

I believe we have other sense capabilities that become available when the rules of waking reality change to that of sleep, dream, sleep paralysis, etc. etc. etc. These states seem to open up something between us. This is just my own inherent belief though.

I only looked over a few pages and see many supportive comments. Seems most encourage this either because they have fanciful minds or because they had cases of sleep paralysis and feel special for it. But here's the inside scoop: SP is quite common. 50% of people report having experienced it at least 1x and being in any altered state of wakefulness obviously causes hallucinations. Every subjective paranormal experience has been replicated in a lab by exposing a person's brain to certain electromagnetic patterns. Some think they are being abducted by aliens while others are overwhelmed with incomprehensible fear thinking the Devil is attacking them...while they're actually just sitting in a room with a blindfold on. I'll put the vid below.

If your invested delusions are too deep then you will not acknowledge any opposing evidence. In which case, I can only hope you get help someday or find the answers you seek. I mean that well. Peace be with you.

Originally posted by NarcolepticBuddha
reply to post by centrifugal

 

Here is my sketch. imageshack.us... It is eerie how close to seeing the actual thing it is..but that was easy because it was so simple to draw.

I know this looks absolutely bizarre..and you might even wonder if it's a joke on my part. This is exactly what I saw and how I saw it..

That's Gumby dammit!

Originally posted by nOraKat

Originally posted by NarcolepticBuddha
reply to post by centrifugal

 

Here is my sketch. imageshack.us... It is eerie how close to seeing the actual thing it is..but that was easy because it was so simple to draw.

I know this looks absolutely bizarre..and you might even wonder if it's a joke on my part. This is exactly what I saw and how I saw it..

That's Gumby dammit!

Thank you. This thread could use a little light-heartedness as well. Thanks for the joke. And I agree..it did almost remind me of those Blockheads from the Gumby cartoons.

reply to post by TheLegend


Thank you for your post and the video. Understanding the nature of sleep paralysis..what it is and what it isn't is essential and integral to my story. While I disagree with some of the conclusions sleep science has assigned to sleep paralysis, I appreciate you offering this side of the equation for the thread.

I have only just joined the forum - what? fifteen minutes ago? - and this is the very first thread I have read here and it is so strikingly similar to experiences I had a number of years ago. The sleep paralysis for night after night, seeing things in the bedroom that shouldn't by rights even exist within our frame of reality. So much I might account it on here sometime when I am settled in.

I came to the conclusion a long time ago that these experiences and these 'aliens' are rooted as species archetypes, which is why they have come and gone over the centuries and millenia as gods, angels, demons, fairies and aliens. Human sciences are a long way from understanding them, and I really do suspect that experiences such as you and I have had are far from unusual, it is just that many people are too scared to analyse or discuss them for fear of being branded lunatics, or feeling it will cost them friends and family. I used to think I was unique in experiencing these events, but the internet has brought me into contact with people like you which is such a comfort.

Thank you for sharing all that you have.

Very interesting post !

I have one strange experience I would also like to share. I was around ten years old. My family often sent me to vacation camps. I really never forgot one of them for the uneasy feeling that remained from it, I remembered it was strange.

About 15 years later I had a vivid dream of this camp. I had not thought of it for so long, we were being chased by aliens that look exactly like grays ! The dream was so real, bringing back many details I had totally forgoten about and was getting more and more intense as I tried to flee. It ended all of the sudden when I was about to get caught, with me being sure I managed to escape while knowing this wasn't true, like implemented memory... so weird.

This is the strangest vivid dream of my life !

Originally posted by Spartaxa
I have only just joined the forum - what? fifteen minutes ago? - and this is the very first thread I have read here and it is so strikingly similar to experiences I had a number of years ago. The sleep paralysis for night after night, seeing things in the bedroom that shouldn't by rights even exist within our frame of reality. So much I might account it on here sometime when I am settled in.

I came to the conclusion a long time ago that these experiences and these 'aliens' are rooted as species archetypes, which is why they have come and gone over the centuries and millenia as gods, angels, demons, fairies and aliens. Human sciences are a long way from understanding them, and I really do suspect that experiences such as you and I have had are far from unusual, it is just that many people are too scared to analyse or discuss them for fear of being branded lunatics, or feeling it will cost them friends and family. I used to think I was unique in experiencing these events, but the internet has brought me into contact with people like you which is such a comfort.

Thank you for sharing all that you have.

Welcome to ATS and I'm glad you found something helpful in my thread. I totally agree with your entire post and it's an excellent synopsis of what I have been trying to say over these 17 pages of text.

I encourage you and others to be more open with your experiences (even if it's just on ATS.) I know how difficult it is to stay grounded and try to reconcile the experiences while trying to live a normal life and have normal relationships.

reply to post by Tamis


I have lived in my current home for a very long time..well over 10 years now. The old apartment I mentioned I grew up in--I always go back there in dreams for some reason. I have never had a dream about being in my new home, it always takes me back to that old apartment.

Dreams are very fascinating like that. Why does it keep wanting me to go back to that apartment? Why would you go back to the summer camp after so long?

The human condition is definitely not boring.

I have been very open about my experiences, I have had no issue there because I KNOW what I experienced, and I KNOW there is no mental history in my family. Everything experienced by me and my then partner happened in the 80s and 90s - my partner even seemed to have a visit from a so-called 'Man In Black' which was a very strange experience in itself. We eventually managed to engage the ear of a UFO investigator who had a sypathetic ear - back in those days I think a sympathetic UFO investigator was pretty much the only support you could find.

We eventually produced an audio tape which detailed in depth the hypothesis I had built around my experiences and my then partners missing time and apparent abduction. So the tape didn't get too boring we teamed up with a rock band from Scotland called CEIV to create music for it.

This isn't some kind of publicity plug, just demonstrating that I was never shy in coming forward over my experiences.

I don't know why, but I stepped right out of the scene for a couple of decades, but for some reason I am feeling drawn back to this - I have no idea why but, as I said previously. I was astonished to read such a parallel story within minutes of joining the ATS, and before having even a thorough browse!

reply to post by NarcolepticBuddha


It often makes me think of secret brotherhoods and things of similar value. Just musing, perhaps these are aliens or ghosts who try to hide their identities. I go to University studying psychology in which Chris French works and runs his anomalistic psychology department. My criticism of psychology/science investigating these phenomena is the need to satisfy scientific principles in a non-scientific area (these being replicability and falsifiability). It's very easy to disregard/refute ideas/theories/notions based on the idea of being non-scientific. But frequently in science researchers are proved wrong. What can be FACT one minute can be refuted the next. I find science to be very tangible and often unreliable but there is a stigma that "science" = "facts". I don't know if science can investigate something as bizarre as these visions or realities. It's possible as somebody said, that they are manifestations of personal and societal archetypes, but there is a lot to be said for spiritualism and the double-blind style occurrences of people witnessing the exact same things. It's definitely something strange, maybe ancient astronaut theory could be applied here, maybe we're victims of our hallucinations. But I know what I saw and I rarely "see" things. It's odd, hopefully one day we will know what this # is all about.

I am no academic, but my understanding of The Sciences are that they are constantly evolving and knowledge is expanding as new discoveries are made and theories are validated. The trouble with that Science is an enclosed room and they are unprepared to acknowledge anything that might exist beyond that room, and if it can't be accomodated within that room, it has to be made to fit the current paradigm. With each new discovery and validation of a theory, the walls of that room expand ever so slightly. Unfortunately we exist far beyond the boundary of that room and it will be quite some time before science turns a genuinely interested eye upon us.

Originally posted by bbearface
reply to post by NarcolepticBuddha

 

My criticism of psychology/science investigating these phenomena is the need to satisfy scientific principles in a non-scientific area (these being replicability and falsifiability).

I appreciate the views of a psychology student. I only minored in psychology myself. I agree with you. We're talking about subjective experiences--this is something that cannot be reproduced in laboratory conditions.

I am aware of studies that demonstrate how electrical stimulus on the brain can reproduce hallucinations and sleep paralysis experiences etc. But again, are we seeing the cause or the symptom? And it doesn't explain why we have such a readily available center of the brain to call upon memories of demons, ETs, spirits, Hooded hobgoblins etc. That alone is worth investigating, I think, instead of dismissing as fantasy.

The fact that so many people have come forward in this thread to announce that they have seen the Gray Men or the Hooded Entities..that alone makes this a social phenomena worth investigating as well. Not to mention the fact that like you said..most of us have had these visions without the benefit of corroborating testimony with other "witnesses."

Originally posted by Spartaxa
I am no academic, but my understanding of The Sciences are that they are constantly evolving and knowledge is expanding as new discoveries are made and theories are validated. The trouble with that Science is an enclosed room and they are unprepared to acknowledge anything that might exist beyond that room, and if it can't be accomodated within that room, it has to be made to fit the current paradigm. With each new discovery and validation of a theory, the walls of that room expand ever so slightly. Unfortunately we exist far beyond the boundary of that room and it will be quite some time before science turns a genuinely interested eye upon us.

Or they could just ridicule me and people like me, call it a flight of fantasy, stimulate someone's brain in a lab until they have a hallucination (what does this prove anyway?)

Problem solved and science lives to see another day.

Make no mistake, I am not saying science is useless. I'm just saying it has a lot of catching up to do with the whole of human experience.

Originally posted by NarcolepticBuddha
reply to post by centrifugal

 

Here is my sketch. imageshack.us... It is eerie how close to seeing the actual thing it is..but that was easy because it was so simple to draw.

I know this looks absolutely bizarre..and you might even wonder if it's a joke on my part. This is exactly what I saw and how I saw it. It is pretty silly, but keep in mind that I had requested "Please stop what you're doing. You're scaring me."

And then this one comes along.

Well........ it does look like a happy little booger! Maybe it was searching our sources for a figure that didn't seem to scare humans, and it came across Sponge Bob, which doesn't even scare children. So, it made itself appear as something similar to appease you, per your request. Just a serious thought.

reply to post by sled735


Spongebob? Cute haha. This happened before the days of Mr. Squarepants though. Another poster said Gumby. It did always remind me of the Blockheads from Gumby cartoons.

That is an interesting sketch and thanks for sharing. In my experience we are conditioned to expect the unknown to look frightening and threatening. In this case it is the opposite, but even THIS can be a very frightening experience because it is totally opposite to what our senses would expect. I was driven half crazy at one point when I experienced something living outside of it's element and shouldn't even be able to survive in it's state. What we experience goes against all we would expect in the given situation - only my thoughts on it.

Originally posted by NarcolepticBuddha
reply to post by sled735

 

Spongebob? Cute haha. This happened before the days of Mr. Squarepants though. Another poster said Gumby. It did always remind me of the Blockheads from Gumby cartoons.

edit on 15-7-2012 by NarcolepticBuddha because: (no reason given)

Oh yeah, I forgot about that fact!

Well, then..... maybe the creator of Sponge Bob saw this figure, too, and decided to make a cartoon out of what he saw as a way to desensitize his experience .......... and it became a BIG HIT, while at the same time programming the children not to be afraid when they see this alien, or entity, or whatever the heck it is!

I wrote that as a joke, but after thinking about it, that could actually happen!

Awesome story, and very well written. Had me glued to the screen.

I find your vision of Christ while meditating on Krishna very interesting. That is not a vision many people have had, you are very blessed. I congratulate you on your will to live and to find answers.

Proper meditation is no doubt the best healer and the best teacher. It can take you as far as you want to go. I believe very strongly however that you need a teacher (guru) to help you navigate the way. Not any old turban headed 'guru' that is around these days, but a Christ, Krishna, Buddha, Yogananda, someone that can guide your inner search, and watch over you once you leave this world.

Your life sounds like an amazing story. If you did ever want to elaborate on the finer detail I would be all ears (or eyes).