Herman Cain Sexually Harassed Me...

reply to post by getreadyalready


I agree with most of what you said, but one technicality...She was asking him to help her get a job, not neccessarily to be hired directly by him. She wanted him to put in a good word, offer a recomendation, put her in contact with someone along with his endorsement etc. Legally I do not know where that distiction falls in the context of Sexual Harrassment. Unethical? Gross? etc. Yes, but is that technically illegal?

Originally posted by getreadyalready
reply to post by whyamIhere

 

No woman would report that to law enforcement. Even if he forcibly grabbed her from behind and cupped her breasts and refused to let go for some time, no woman would report that to law enforcement. It is too much hassle, and too little chance of any result.

My ex-wife had a boss that dropped pictures of his penis on her desk, and had the copier moved to the narrowest walkway so that he could grind against the girls as he made excuses to walk past. My current wife has told me of many occasions where men or boys did things to her that she attempted to resist, and eventually just figured lets get it over with. Women are conditioned to accept an awful lot, and just grabbing a leg, or making a gesture, or trying to coerce them is part of their daily routine. They barely bat an eye at it.

My wife had an employer that insisted on patting her on the behind.

I think fifteen years ago this probably goes unreported.

Today, I hope that women would come forward. I can see why they would not.

Sad that people would act like that. This whole thing is kind of sad.

Originally posted by whyamIhere
Ok, I'm assuming some of you that are replying are Ladies.
...
Is there any way you do not report this to law enforcement?

I have had 3 times in my adult life where a man put his hand on my private body parts or sexually harassed me at work. Plus, I was raped at 17. I reported none of them to the police.

It's a serious question....But, I think i know the answer.

Were you right?

Originally posted by Benevolent Heretic

Originally posted by whyamIhere
Ok, I'm assuming some of you that are replying are Ladies.
...
Is there any way you do not report this to law enforcement?

I have had 3 times in my adult life where a man put his hand on my private body parts or sexually harassed me at work. Plus, I was raped at 17. I reported none of them to the police.

It's a serious question....But, I think i know the answer.

Were you right?

edit on 11/8/2011 by Benevolent Heretic because: (no reason given)

Wow...I was wrong about that.

Very sorry to hear that.

Can you explain a basic reason for not reporting?

No details...Just trying to understand.

Originally posted by Indigo5
reply to post by getreadyalready

 

I agree with most of what you said, but one technicality...She was asking him to help her get a job, not neccessarily to be hired directly by him. She wanted him to put in a good word, offer a recomendation, put her in contact with someone along with his endorsement etc. Legally I do not know where that distiction falls in the context of Sexual Harrassment. Unethical? Gross? etc. Yes, but is that technically illegal?

I agree. I think that is a very important distinction. If she was just asking a friend for help, then I don't think it is harassment in any way. Still gross and unethical, and still a testament to his character, but probably not illegal.

Thanks for sharing that! I thought this was his position she wanted.

reply to post by Benevolent Heretic


I think the statistic is about 50% of all women have been sexually assaulted in their lifetime. We were discussing this one night with my wife and her sister, and some friends, and of the girls at the table, it was closer to 100%. I think flat out rape was probably 50%, and unwanted sexual touching, etc, was 100%.

Women (especially attractive ones) are constantly bombarded by advances that range from sideways comments to actually physical assertiveness, and many times they can charm or joke their way out of situations, other times, they can fight back or get someone to intervene, and sometimes they feel it is safer to just go with the flow and get out of harms way.

It is an odd thing that most men have no idea how rampant the problem is. I bet if the men on here went out for some drinks with their wives and friends and got into the conversation with alcohol as a lubricant, they would be shocked at the stories they would hear. I know I was!!

Originally posted by getreadyalready
He basically told her up front the conditions of the job would require her to have sex with him.

I wasn't aware that he was offering her a job. Was she asking him to help her get a job or to actually hire her? That could be a misunderstanding on my part.

reply to post by Indigo5


I should have read ahead. This was my understanding.

Originally posted by whyamIhere
Can you explain a basic reason for not reporting?

I have already posted about it here, but I was also a victim of childhood sexual abuse and that. too, went unreported. The only reason I can offer you is that I was scared and embarrassed. Scared of being called a liar, scared of looking weak, scared of being accused of 'asking for it'. Scared of retaliation.

When I was raped, it was the father of a girlfriend of mine. They had a little boy and a home. She was my friend. How could I ruin ALL of their lives, when telling wouldn't make the experience go away? The little boy was there. He heard me screaming and crying. Why make him suffer any more than he already did for his father's actions?

In the work situations, I did report it to HR, but it went nowhere because no one saw it and he denied it. And then they talked with him and I still had to work with him...That was hell. Especially seeing him leering at me all the time, knowing what he got away with...

Sorry I gave some uncomfortable details, but sexual harassment is a serious and life-altering event. Imagine having four instances in your life when a man just reached out and put his hand on your penis. This is something we don't expect people to do. We expect them to have a basic respect for others' personal body parts, but some just don't.

reply to post by whyamIhere


It's clear to me that Sharon Bialek is just looking for her 15 minutes of fame plus some
badly needed cash $$$.
----------
It turns out her past is questionable.

I'm guessing ABC, NBC & CBS haven't even done a Google search on her yet.
They are too busy jumping up and down with glee.

We have a way to attack Herman Cain!!!

reply to post by Benevolent Heretic

I wasn't aware that he was offering her a job. Was she asking him to help her get a job or to actually hire her? That could be a misunderstanding on my part.

No apparently it was me that was mistaken, and it wasn't him offering the job. I misunderstood that part.


Back on the other subject...... what do you think makes men, like your friend's dad, so bold? I mean its bad enough that they are so disrespectful and mean, but why do they assume they will get away with it?

All the reasons you gave for not reporting, are the same things that should have been running through his head! If you would have reported it, he would have lost his family, and probably his freedom! At the very least, if you had told your friend, he might have lost his daughter.

Why do you suppose men are so willing to take this enormous risk? Or do they not assume it is a risk at all, and just feel entitled or justified to do whatever they want? I mean, he probably wasn't a sexual predator, he isn't out raping and pillaging the countryside, he was just an opportunist that assumed he wouldn't get caught, and he was right. Where does that mindset come from?

A girlfriend of mine had a similar experience with her roommate's dad. He walked in on her in the shower, while we were dating, and then he refused to leave her alone. She fought, flirted, stalled, and teased until she eventually ran to her car. He was a county deputy sheriff, and she never reported it, not even to her friend.

reply to post by Benevolent Heretic


Nobody should have to endure what you went through...

Thanks for helping me understand. I guess there is always collateral damage to think of.

The reason I ask the question about reporting is...You seem to be very strong.

I just thought I knew the answer. Thanks for showing me both sides.

I hope you find true happiness and peace in your life.

reply to post by whyamIhere


It's not like the claims are completely unfounded.. didn't you read about the witness?

Meanwhile, in another stunning turn, a male Republican pollster went on the record with a news organization to say he actually witnessed Cain's alleged harassment of one of the former trade association employees and indicated that the Republican presidential candidate's behavior wasn't exactly a secret at the time.

Third Woman Accuses Herman Cain of Harassment; Witness Goes Public

And yes.. I know the witness is associated with Perry. But if we let every little detail deter us from the truth we'll never get to it.

I'm not saying Cain is guilty, I'm just making a point that there's more to it than your OP implies

Hopefully when all the dust settles from Cain's harassment allegations, Perry's strange speeches, and Romney's sketchy campaign contributers, the American people will see Ron Paul, still standing, still speaking the truth

reply to post by bacci0909


That would be nice!! Sort of a last-man-standing campaign! Perry, Romney, Cain, Bachmann can all eliminate themselves, and we'll be left with Santorum, Johnson, and Ron Paul!! I think we could get a decent ticket out of those 3!!

I've never been a fan of mud-slinging until just now. In this case, Ron Paul is immune to the mud, so let it fly!

Originally posted by getreadyalready
Back on the other subject...... what do you think makes men, like your friend's dad, so bold? I mean its bad enough that they are so disrespectful and mean, but why do they assume they will get away with it?

He is (was, he's probably dead) a rapist, not a man. There's no way I could possibly speak to his boldness... I cannot conceive his reasons... II was a good, sweet, thoughtful girl and he knew it. If I had had my wits about me, I would have gone straight for the police station carrying the evidence. The woman I am today would do just that. But at 17... I was so horrified and astounded that he actually did that, I couldn't think straight. And when I did settle down. I couldn't bear his children knowing and having to live with the fact that their father was a rapist.

Yes, he would lose his job, his home and his family, but they would also lose their home and their dad... the image of the man he was. The father they thought they knew. And I felt it was my fault. I should have known better... I shouldn't have let myself get into that situation. Is it better that one person is on pain or four?

Where does that mindset come from?

Honey, you're asking the wrong person! But I do think it's an entitlement thing. And I don't think your average workplace harassers really think about the risk. They act before thinking. In my case, the guy acted like he might after a few drinks at a bar, trying to pick up a girl.

But the rape was premeditated. He set it all up over a period of days. So, it wasn't like he just took advantage of the situation. He lured me into it. And I was naive enough to fall for it.

reply to post by whyamIhere


Thank you.

Originally posted by whyamIhere
The reason I ask the question about reporting is...You seem to be very strong.

Oh, I am. Now. I've had a hell of a time working through all of it. I've had years of counseling... And you know what they say, whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger. I'm strong as an ox.

I hope you find true happiness and peace in your life.

I have. I don't know if I could be much happier.

Originally posted by bacci0909
reply to post by whyamIhere

 

It's not like the claims are completely unfounded.. didn't you read about the witness?

Meanwhile, in another stunning turn, a male Republican pollster went on the record with a news organization to say he actually witnessed Cain's alleged harassment of one of the former trade association employees and indicated that the Republican presidential candidate's behavior wasn't exactly a secret at the time.

Third Woman Accuses Herman Cain of Harassment; Witness Goes Public

And yes.. I know the witness is associated with Perry. But if we let every little detail deter us from the truth we'll never get to it.

I'm not saying Cain is guilty, I'm just making a point that there's more to it than your OP implies

Hopefully when all the dust settles from Cain's harassment allegations, Perry's strange speeches, and Romney's sketchy campaign contributers, the American people will see Ron Paul, still standing, still speaking the truth

*When I started the thread nobody had officially come out.

Since then....Well you have seen the parade.

With all the problems this Country has...This is unfortunate.

Originally posted by Indigo5

Originally posted by smileypants

Originally posted by traditionaldrummer
As a taxi driver in Atlanta in the 90s, I picked up Herman Cain who was present with a she-male and a hermaphrodite. I took them to their destination, an airport Holiday Inn, where I was asked if I wanted to "join the party". I declined, though it was strongly recommended to me that I never discuss the event. Oops.

You're crazy!!

You squandered the perfect leverage to having FREE PIZZA FOR LIFE.

Yah...But would he come in 30 minutes or less?
Would you want Sausage on your pie?

Sorry...I am stealing Jon Stewart's jokes.

HAhahahaha I love you! Those jokes were new to me

So let me get this straight...

They are getting all the women together for a News Conference.

How's that exactly going to work?

Something like...Ladies, show me on this doll where Herman Cain offered you a job.

reply to post by whyamIhere


LOL!

For a court trial, wouldn't that be tainting the well of evidence? Getting all the ladies together, so they can get their story straight, and then conduct a press conference?

I said before, I don't trust Cain, and I think he is probably at least a little bit guilty, but I don't like the fact that these ladies are now uniting against him. Something seems fishy about that.

Herm should have just come clean in the beginning and admitted he was a perv. Most men could relate to that at least a little bit, but his denial just seems so scripted and insincere.

Where's Ms Cain in all this mess? Why is she not at his side defending him? I find that kinda fishy as well! She knows.....

Just sayin....

Originally posted by whyamIhere
How's that exactly going to work?

Something like...Ladies, show me on this doll where Herman Cain offered you a job.

It's not a trial or a deposition. It's a news conference. You know... where people make statements to and take questions from the press. Like Herman Cain did yesterday. Maybe you don't agree that both parties should have a chance to tell their side of the story, but I'm glad about it.

I don't know about you, but I'd like to hear more information before I decide to believe these allegations or not. I like to make an educated conclusion, not one based on partisanship or personal prejudice. I look forward to hearing their response to Cain, just as I looked forward to hearing him yesterday. I like to be as fair as possible. I know not everyone agrees, but that's ok, too.