My Friend Who Committed Suicide (Important Read)

reply to post by Jonas86


Slightly off topic, my father committed suicide and a roommate at Fort Bragg committed suicide. I have a hard time getting close to more than one person in my life in part to this kind of behavior.

While reading your short story I could not help but think your friend may have been a victim of psychotronics.
The research he did no doubt tripped certain flags and probably caused him to receive certain direct and indirect scrutiny. The technology is so advanced nowadays that when the powers that be suicide you there is no trace. This is what I think happened in this case.

Suicide is a simple formula:

People commit suicide when their problems exceed their coping mechanisms.

Your friend was suffering from severe psychosis. He needed treatment. But there isn't a society on this planet that doesn't make mental health a second or third rate priority, and your friend fell through the cracks.

It was a disease. It ate his mind first, then manifests in the body.

There was nothing anyone could of done.

He is no longer unhappy, he is someplace where he can be, he is at peace now. Find peace in that.

I am very sorry for your loss...

reply to post by Jonas86

I'm sorry for your loss

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/6dd24281d3e7.jpg[/atsimg]



[edit on 17-7-2010 by ofhumandescent]

The truth is, that the truth, in it's entirety, would turn any man insane.

That's why it's best sometimes to just enjoy life simply.

I have attempted suicide 4 time.(and no it wasnt a cry for attention!!!
Anyway then reasons I believed I did this had NOTHING to do with anybody else.
I believe for a FACT that people try to kill them selves is because they despise them selves, feel shame and it's to bead no one could get him to some kind of 12 step meeting
Sorry that what i feel..
It has changed the way that other and myself lokk at me.
Plus to me its none of my business what other people think of me.
I didnt meen to preach but this subject meens alot to me!!

Here is an interesting study on whether suicide of a friend makes it more or less likely that you will commit suicide yourself:

aje.oxfordjournals.org...

The article supports findings that I think are really profound:

Is suicide contagious?

The answer (at least according to the study):

These findings suggest that under certain conditions, exposure to suicidal behavior may have beneficial consequences.

Not only is suicide not contagious, but those who have experienced the suicidal death of a friend or relative are even less likely to commit suicide themselves.

Interesting.

I normally avoid these threads.

Normally, I understand that the people who write them are either affected or the cause of alternative behaviour. The type of behaviour being irrelevant.

I do however recognise someone saying thank you. If my interpretation is correct OP, this person meant alot to you, and you are thanking them for being part of your life.

It's not often we can meet people that change our life, but you obviously met someone that did. I've met people that have changed my life, and I can only hope that I do them the justice in obituary that you have.

It doesn't matter how you do it, as long as the debt is paid. You've paid it, in full. He will be proud of your enlightened ways, and your open mind. Even if his troubled existence couldn't enact what he desired, you will live for him. You don't need to try, it will just happen - trust me on that.

I'm not a spiritual or 'convicted' person as my avater will show. But I do think that being human is a common condition. We all share your pain OP - you're not alone, and you never will be.

Parallex.

Originally posted by Jonas86
He always talked about how we are all part of one big unite sea of consciousness, we're all drops of that consciousness, and once our physical lives end, we become part of that sea of consciousness again.

I'm not going to philosophize this further than this. I just think this should serve as a warning. If you recognize these "symptoms" in your doings, take a step back. There's a fine line of sanity between concrete reality and the wondrous world of unknown that many (especially ATS members) are drawn to.

I was left feeling alone with this "task" of raising consciousness and investigating this wondrous world. So I was really disappointed with what my friend did. I should probably have known to recommend therapy to him. But I respected his choices and assumed he knew what he was doing. But he taught me a great deal and I'm going to keep going ahead and spreading the message of love and of the universe, while maintaining grip of sanity.

If you have comments about this, I would be interested to hear. I would also be interested to hear from you why you think this happened to my friend (other than being raised as not being allowed to express emotions probably as much as people normally do, which left his mind vulnerable to the world of conspiracy, and made him thrive for the universal love.)

[edit on 16-7-2010 by Jonas86]

I am no doctor, but i have worked in mental health. it sounds as if your friend had a psychotic break long before you saw how skinny he was. It sounds like he was very young (early 20's), which makes him a prime candidate for schizophrenia. However, there are many different things.


ATS is not going to cause psychosis. We have many unstable folks here, for sure. But if you are of sound mind to begin with, you should be ok.

But this site does from time to time scare the hell out of me.

Wow, I read your post and all I could think of is seeing myself as your friend, because I to, while researching, watching videos and reading books, deciphering truth from fiction about this sense of being in this world, had become a depressed. Just because of the sheer fact that most of the things we perceive is true in this world isn't "truth" at all. Similar to the Matrix effect where you wake up from a dream you thought was real to a world where reality is a daunting and inescapable nightmare.

The difference is, know one is there to help you adjust to the nightmare unless you look for help) plus the urge to get others to see what you see and most of the time they don't, is extremely taxing on you physically and mostly mentally. The misconception about enlightenment is that people think its always a good thing and it's not. Because when you are enlightened you strip away the dream state that you've been in all of your life and that's immensely frightening.

To all those that feel the burden of "enlightenment" just know you are not alone in your struggles with the perceptions with the world. I feel more and more people are waking up, to what end, I don't know but at least people are starting to become aware of the super intricate control of the powers that be.

I do have a question for Jim Marrs though, after all the books you have done, especially Rule By Secracyy, how did all of the information that you've uncovered effect you mentally? If it was negative at first, how did you overcome those negative feelings?

These are the dangers of flying too close to the sun. I'm sorry for your loss but these things happen. Some people just can't cope with the truth when they find it. That old saying be careful what you wish for comes to mind. The problem with the truth is it doesn't care about your ego or your feelings. It's is just the reality of the situation. So when you go looking for the truth keep in mind that it might not be beautiful and golden and birds chirping and rainbows. It might be dark ugly and dangerous.

reply to post by Jonas86


You see, the problem is that society is especially volatile to people who have awakened and realize their connection and potential in the Universe. Often times, people find themselves alone who have awakened, and when they try to point out certain things to people who are still asleep, those people tend to demonize or label the person who is awake psychotic or paranoid because of their observations. He was trying to inform you of the Universal Consciousness and connect you to unconditional love. These aren't bad attributes. The bad thing is when people who are not awake, try to stunt the growth of those who are, which made your friend feel hopeless.

I am not saying that you did this whatsoever, I am saying that society did.

Namaste and UNIVERSAL/UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

This to me shows the importance of spirituality and (honestly) opening your mind (your worldview, perspective) if you are going to take on topics like this. Yes it is true we are all one conciousness from a certain perspective, but if you approach some of these things (including aliens and 911) and you happen to be at a fundamentalist level of thinking in your brain - leading you to thinking it is the whole truth, then the mind has to do some serious compensating.

The people on ATS who work to expand other's awareness and broaden their views generally and offer the capacity for more perspectives - and points of view, also do a great job I think and are equally important as the ones who bring raw real-world news. Spirituality affects our worldview and perspectives, there is no getting around that. If that's not good enough, then settle for awareness maybe.

IF people aren't spiritually prepared, call it centered or grounded, enough to handle the reality, then all the real news in the world will do more harm than good. So we have to grow in our levels of acceptance, in order to make room for the continued barrage on our old worldviews.

I'm not going to judge him for killing himself - it's his choice. It's too bad for him, his suicide will make these subjects more taboo, subjects he loved. Good time to remind everyone that there are more "normal" functioning members of society that kill themselves than the so-called "fringe." He sounded like a great guy. I would have loved to meet him. I just think if he spent more time with philosophy, especially ones that ground you like Buddhism, it would have balanced him out.

This is a danger on New Age sometimes, it is not careful, it takes you into the clouds but does not give you perspective - the ability to be light-hearted, to laugh at yourself, and to basically be grounded. Sounds like he may have had the combo of accepting many things as truth, without a strong enough spirituality to provide that inner peace, to calm the storm and internally he spun out of control. Where does that take him, I hope somewhere amazing.

reply to post by Jonas86


I really don't have much to say, I've never found it so hard to put my thoughts into words...I'm sure this story will be relevant for many posters here on ATS...it seems your friend was travelling down the rabbit hole a little too fast...how can a person obsessed with meta-physical and cosmic frames of mind live in a world where almost everyone is completely materialistic, obsessed with nothing but power and wealth, and rarely utter a word about anything spiritual, meta-physical or beyond what we understand or know, and people who do are laughed at...this world slowly corrodes away at my soul, and I know there have been times in my life when the negative energy just seems too overwhelming, but I feel there is still too much for me to do here on Earth, I can't cut it short before I really do what I came here to do...and I know there is something I came here to do, however stupid that may sound to anyone, myself included...

What a weird tale.

I think your friend killed himself because he was depressed, not because of all that other mumbo jumbo about consciousness you started rambling about at the end.

Your story is very moving. Your friend sounded like somebody any one of us here would have befriended, had we known him. A likeable, intelligent guy. Common interests.

Obviously intelligent enough to sort through all the conspiracies, and take them with a grain of salt. It was his emotional issues which tripped him up, and the continual study of life after death, was the coup de gras.

Some things written about life after death can make death look extremely attractive, even romantic. It can promise much.

Losing his appetite and rapid weight loss can weaken both mind and body.
He was feeding himself on theories, and apparently entered into a state of despair. Help was offered to him by his parents, but he refused it.

My father was a psychologist, and his own brother, an attorney, committed suicide one day after they had met for lunch. My father noticed nothing. He really gave himself a bad time for this, afterwards.
But many times you can't tell. If anything, they "get happy" and "light hearted" before a suicide event, because they *know* it's all about to end. They *may know* they only have to endure this life another day or two. They will sometimes set a date for it.
Often, and usually, they leave a note.

I doubt if your friend had time. This does not sound like a well thought out, planned event. He was running from hospitalization at the time, he didn't want to face it. He was in a psychotic state, which they could very likely have treated.

It is indeed, a tragic story. Very tragic. Thank you for telling us.
I hope you are okay. You have told us something, that is a good lesson for us all.

And now he has his answers.

My sympathies to you. I lost my brother 4 days before Christmas 09.

Cheating wife...Personally, she would have been the one in the box had I been in his shoes but thats not the way it went down.

I remember the last time I saw him. I had a feeling something wasn't kosher and I spoke to my dad about it. He said leave it be. He was privy to the story and I wasnt or I wouldnt have bothered talking to him.

"Maybe if's" will kick your ass.

The only thing I came away with was you cant fathom the depths of depression or the screwy things people do. If I'm ever in a similiar situation, It wont go down that way....IF I can help it.

You were a good friend to your buddy. Thats all you could have been. The rest was up to him.

I had a friend commit suicide 2.5 years ago. Not pleasant.

I'm quite unsure of any spirituality/afterlife. While I hope he's in a better place, I have no idea if that is true or not. The observable universe isn't everything, but that doesn't provide much help in this regard.

when you get lost in the flipside of truth and lies, and misperception, its as if you are a mile under water, not realizing which way is up to get more air.

I am so sorry. May his story and exuberance live on through you.

Originally posted by Jonas86
He always talked about how we are all part of one big unite sea of consciousness, we're all drops of that consciousness, and once our physical lives end, we become part of that sea of consciousness again.

He is right. And if someone has had an experience of it, (I dont know if he did, but it might be) its hard not to long to be back in that sea.

I do not advocate suicide, and these types of experiences do not cause suicide, but once you have them, your egoic mind can get ahold of them and can make some strange assumptions about what you should do.

I could never find the quote again, and I am probably butchering it, but the jist of it is correct,

"Higher consciousness is the sea in which mystics swim, and madmen drown."

Your friend sounds like he drowned. I am sorry for your loss, but your friend is ok. I know that doesnt help you, or make you feel better, but death is merely a return home to the ocean. Where your single separate drop merges back into the sea and again remembers it is the entire ocean.

what a sad story, it truly sounds like some emo has taken just to much drugs and decided to take his life by jumping from a bridge horrible ending.