Over Sensitive - AKA Wearing Your Heart On Your Sleeve

Originally posted by just_another_yourself
hey there bud. just my opinion but what i think it is is fear of exposing yourself. when you show emotion and sensitivity, you expose yourself to others. fear of judgement. it destroys

Hey I can get behind that concept. That is what I have, fear of exposing myself :-)

Originally posted by silo13
reply to post by SoulOrb

 

What does any of this have to do with the Paranormal?
[edit on 7-5-2009 by silo13]

Sorry dude, I was in the wrong forum, they moved me.

reply to post by SoulOrb


Emotions are a normal part of every human being. There is nothing unhealthy about having emotions or being sensitive at times. It's only when your level of sensitivity leads you to believe that the rest of the world should change so your feelings don't get hurt that it becomes a problem that needs to be fixed.

I, for example, am an emotional and sensitive person. I cry during the sad parts of movies, including animated ones. Even if I've seen it 100 times. (I actually cried during the sad part of "Bolt" while I was watching it with my son last week.) I am sad when those around me are sad. I feel others pain. I get angry when I see injustice regardless of it's form. Etc, etc. However, I don't flinch at every comment. I don't take things wrong all the time. I don't cry over everything. If someone makes a comment or joke specifically to make fun of someone, I speak up about it and tell them it's not right but I don't whine or complain or run off and cry. If the same action on my part causes the same reaction by others over and over again, I change my action. I don't expect to get a different result with the same action next time. If someone pokes fun at me, I tend to laugh with them since I frequently do things that I would find funny if someone else did it. If they are being intentionally mean I tell them to quit being an donkey's rear-end, but I don't break down, run off, and cry about how awful everyone is to me.

There is a major difference between being sensitive and being overly so. I think the source of our disagreement on the topic lies in the difference between the two.

Aggressive

Intimidator - On the verge of exploding, threatening, strict, gave orders, inflexible, angry, self-centered, made you feel afraid.

Interrogator - Probed to see what you were doing; critical, undermining, needling, infallible logic, sarcasm, monitored you. can be sceptical, sarcastic, self-righteous, perfectionist

Passive

Poor me - Always saw the negative, looked for problems, always talking about being busy or tired, made you feel guilty for not solving her problems. Pull attention by sighing, trembling, crying, Victim stance

Aloof - tended to be distant, busy, away from home, not too interested in your life, unresponsive, secretive, preoccupied.
by James Redfield in 'The Celestine Prophecy'.

people, people, people,

it all about the control drama,

It is all about how we learn to deal with life.

Originally posted by JennaThere is a difference between being sensitive and being overly sensitive, as has been said by many in the thread. Being sensitive is fine, few people take issue with that. Being overly sensitive and expecting everyone else to change their behaviors just so you don't get your feelings hurt is not. Being stressed out and reacting to things more strongly than usual is a temporary state of being overly sensitive, once the stress passes so will the over-sensitivity. Constant over-sensitivity to everything that happens around you or to you is not healthy.

The problem with sensitive and overly sensitive is the arbitrarily drawn line between those two, depending on who i talk to i can be judged a insensitive bastard or an overly sensitive nancyboy. For example when talking to a vegetarian that person could judge me insensitive because of me eating meat but talking to some testosterone filled military guy he could see me as a weak over sensitive boy because i will never shoot someone or fight for my country for whatever reason given by the politicians.

I do have to repeat that being sensitive in whatever way is being branded as something weak and even if you look at the tube you will always see the sensitive ones being portrayed as a weak chinned, scrawny hippy or an oblivious hopeless nerd. The icons of those series are almost always stereotypical men, hard nosed and strong willed people who in the end get it right.

Being sensitive means, in the ideal world that you can bring up understanding and compassion when someone needs it and being able to express your opinion without getting laughed at or ignored because the opinion expressed is not polarising enough, it doesn't feed the ego or something, dunno.

[edit on 7-5-2009 by Harman]

Originally posted by Harman
The problem with sensitive and overly sensitive is the arbitrarily drawn line between those two, depending on who i talk to i can be judged a insensitive bastard or an overly sensitive nancyboy. For example when talking to a vegetarian that person could judge me insensitive because of me eating meat but talking to some testosterone filled military guy he could see me as a weak over sensitive boy because i will never shoot someone or fight for my country for whatever reason given by the politicians.

I don't really see it as an arbitrary line. The vegetarian might judge you as being insensitive to the cow, but not necessarily to them. The military guy might think you are weak for not wanting to fight for your country or shoot someone, but not necessarily. I don't want to shoot anyone either, does that make me weak and overly sensitive? I don't think so, and most people don't either. I don't want to do it, but I am willing to do so to save my life or the life of my family. I hope I never have to, but if it came down to either shooting someone or my and my family dieing I would in a heart beat. Never say never, you don't know what the future will bring.

I do have to repeat that being sensitive in whatever way is being branded as something weak and even if you look at the tube you will always see the sensitive ones being portrayed as a weak chinned, scrawny hippy or an oblivious hopeless nerd. The icons of those series are almost always stereotypical men, hard nosed and strong willed people who in the end get it right.

You're right, they are. It shouldn't be though. That is an issue that needs to be taken up with the casting directors. It is entirely possible to be sensitive as a male without being weak, scrawny, or hopeless. But again, there is a difference between being sensitive and being overly so.

Being sensitive means, in the ideal world that you can bring up understanding and compassion when someone needs it and being able to express your opinion without getting laughed at or ignored because the opinion expressed is not polarising enough, it doesn't feed the ego or something, dunno.

Being sensitive means many things, understanding and compassion are only part of it. As for being laughed at or ignored over your opinions, that is an issue belonging to the one doing the laughing or ignoring. It's not my problem if someone else would rather ignore me or laugh at my opinions until it gets to the point where every one is laughing at or ignoring me. Then it is time for me to take stock of what it is they are laughing at me for.

Maybe they are laughing because it was funny. Maybe they are laughing because I messed up on my phrasing and it didn't come out the way I intended. Maybe I'm basing my opinion on something that has been disproven and I need to look at the foundations for that opinion and see if my opinion changes based on the new information.

If I'm being ignored, maybe they aren't actually ignoring me but just didn't hear me. Maybe they are too self-absorbed to hear what I have to say. Maybe they are egotistical enough to believe that only opinions they have are correct and that nothing I say is worth their time.

Again, it only becomes my problem if everyone reacts to me the same way, then it's time for me to look at what I am doing or saying that causes that reaction and change it. That goes for being overly sensitive as well as being insensitive. If everyone reacts to you the same way when you do or say something, then whatever it is you are doing or saying is to blame. Not the people reacting. If only a few people react that way, then it is their problem.

Originally posted by Jenna

I don't really see it as an arbitrary line. The vegetarian might judge you as being insensitive to the cow, but not necessarily to them. The military guy might think you are weak for not wanting to fight for your country or shoot someone, but not necessarily. I don't want to shoot anyone either, does that make me weak and overly sensitive? I don't think so, and most people don't either. I don't want to do it, but I am willing to do so to save my life or the life of my family. I hope I never have to, but if it came down to either shooting someone or my and my family dieing I would in a heart beat. Never say never, you don't know what the future will bring.

I agree, for me it is not an abritrary line, for you it's not an arbitrary line but still it is possible that we have a different opinion about where the line of overly sensitive resides. In your case i think we share the same opinion of where it is and how to act in any given situation without numbing yourself down to apathy. But just the given fact that everyone draws the sensitive/overly sensitive line for themselves makes it abritrary in itself. The line is different for any given person or group. people involved in corporate takeovers of smaller companies and firing 30% of the workforce have a different view on that line than people voluntarily helping the homeless 20 hours a week in their free time. that is arbitrary. Ofcourse, people with an extended perceptional bubble can understand why they do what they do, feel what they feel and have the opinions that they have without making it personal, an objectively aligneable subjective viewpoint or something ( eah, making stuff up, sue me ).

Being sensitive means many things, understanding and compassion are only part of it. [...]If only a few people react that way, then it is their problem.

Agreed with what you said in that whole part .

[edit on 7-5-2009 by Harman]

Originally posted by Harman
I agree, for me it is not an abritrary line, for you it's not an arbitrary line but still it is possible that we have a different opinion about where the line of overly sensitive resides.

I believe the line is drawn between what an average reasonable person would and would not do in any given situation, just as it is when it comes to legal matters. Sticking with the example you provided, the average reasonable person would be angry and upset if they were one of the 30% being fired during a corporate takeover, but they would also understand the reasoning behind the takeover and that when takeovers occur people lose their jobs. They wouldn't see it as something personal when the person in charge of deciding who stays and who goes has most likely never met them, doesn't know what kind of worker they are, and is deciding based on what they see on paper.

Ofcourse, people with an extended perceptional bubble can understand why they do what they do, feel what they feel and have the opinions that they have without making it personal, an objectively aligneable subjective viewpoint or something ( eah, making stuff up, sue me

).

That's what I refer to as the average reasonable person. Someone who is not so reasonable would not see it the same way and thus would overreact and likely become overly emotional and overly sensitive about the whole situation.

Nothing wrong with making up terms for things. I think I get what it means.

Originally posted by SoulOrb
HELLO. I AM HERE. I DO NOT NEED TO BE INTERPRETED.

I read what you wrote and analyzed how you wrote it and made an observation. Apparently you are unhappy with the impressions your writing left.

And yes everything is to be interpreted; choices of words, writing style, punctuation... it all adds to the message or takes from it. People are saying more then they realize when they talk or write.

I have read through alot of the other things people have posted here and you all are nuts

Y'all have a nice day, I gotta go to another thread...

Originally posted by clcreek
I read what you wrote and analyzed how you wrote it and made an observation.

.
Yes, I understand now, how in heck could you analyze this, thanks for tuning in, I think there are some logical linear threads out there.

Originally posted by clcreek
I have read through alot of the other things people have posted here and you all are nuts

Thanks. My only request is that I get to be the cashew.

Originally posted by Jenna
Thanks. My only request is that I get to be the cashew.

I love Cashews, but I get too many and then I eat them all.

reply to post by SoulOrb


There is an equilibrium between the ignorance of the unsensitive, and the overly sensitive. I am somewhere in between the two. "justsomeboreddude" represented ignorance for no spiritual enlightenment, and you SoulOrb represent a false sense of over enlightenment due to your overly sensitive nature. My so called "small loss of my 'divinity'" that you so eloquently put into perspective, was just my way of maturing and being the best human being that I can be. You really don't know anything about me. I see that every time someone disagrees with you, you tend to make a characterization of them in order to comfort yourself. When you are telling others not to be judgemental, you are in fact, judging them. I don't renounce my beliefs, however, I do listen to all sides and attempt to be as unbiased as possible. This change caused me to be 'respectful' where as before, I was not respectful to those who did not respect my opinion. I do not "compromise my truth" to be more respectful of others.

Still, I don't understand why you think this is a bad thing. Being more accepting opens many more doors than being close minded about other people, like you are doing. This is just me in the process of my way of evolving. I am only 21, I have my whole life to be all that I can be. These things take time.

The reason I'm having this chat with you is not because I disagree with you, but because I'm trying to help you. I do not believe that you see that you are biased just as much as the "insensitive" people are to you. In fact, it takes just as much stereotyping from you to categorize them as much as it takes from them to categorize you.

You can be whoever you want to be, but you do not realize that you judge others (at least to the extent that you do). The point of my discussion with you is to bring that to your attention. Nothing more. I do not "wish that you become like me" so that I feel comfort. That is an unfair assumption, not to mention it judges me.

For the record, it was not easy for me to post about my life. But Above Top Secret is really one of the only communities open enough. Plus the moderators do their job, and keep everything civil (punish for patronizing, personal attacks, ect).

Even though we are not clear on a few things, I still hope you do what you believe is right.
-FadeToBlack

Originally posted by clcreek

Originally posted by SoulOrb
HELLO. I AM HERE. I DO NOT NEED TO BE INTERPRETED.

I read what you wrote and analyzed how you wrote it and made an observation. Apparently you are unhappy with the impressions your writing left.

And yes everything is to be interpreted; choices of words, writing style, punctuation... it all adds to the message or takes from it. People are saying more then they realize when they talk or write.

I have read through alot of the other things people have posted here and you are all nuts

Y'all have a nice day, I gotta go to another thread...

BLASPHEMY!
A judgement!!

Seriously though. I do agree with the statement that your writing style, punctuation, and general feel do say a lot about your character in general.

[edit on 5/7/2009 by FadeToBlack]

Originally posted by FadeToBlack
ignorance for no spiritual enlightenment, and you SoulOrb represent a false sense of over enlightenment due to your overly sensitive nature. My so called "small loss of my

Well, I mean your response is a great response, and I think it is great that anyone be they 100 or 18 be on the board sifting through the data and forming their own opinion. And you should be able to do this without being jumped on or critical accusations, like you just made above.

Example "false sense of over enlightenment"? Was the word enlightenment in my video? Did I say I was Enlightened? In fact I do not even believe in enlightenment.

Maybe you felt I was saying I was being superior to you, or others. Yes I get that if I say things a certain way, if people do not believe in themselves, my approach and be taken wrong by them, an since they do not know me, or my intent, they can read my words wrong. That is why I make videos first of all, because it more more true to my intent.

And 21, wow, yeah, I mean young adults these days are miles ahead us people in my generation, and much more involved, of course today there is technology to do it more, and I was sort of always involved, but you know, not sure I would where you are. I had an email then, but no one to talk with, I was one of the few people in my Country.

However if you look at the your post, you are very defensive and I do not recall attacking you, maybe challenged you to say more, or take time to ponder the video, I mean they take time as well, if a person does not watch it, how can I work with that?

And really, I can not see what I said in the video, and that is what we are discussing here, that infers I am enlightened, or above someone, or ahead of someone, or all those things you infer.

However I can see me bringing out insecurities in people, man, because I have been to the brink and back a number of times. And hell, that is just the way it is. But I can remember 21. I was say 19 when I got married and my wife to be went to dinner with a 42 year old. I can remember how threatened I felt. However it was in the end in my own mind. It was me, not the 42 year old guy. And it drives my 23 year old crazy when his roommates talk to me and put me on their Facebook, because I have friends of all ages, and just had a nice conversation with my sons old roommate this afternoon. He feels threatened as well, and he tell me, and I say look, you know, I am not sleeping with these girls, they come up and want to talk about something besides sports. If you do not trust me, it is your problem, I do not pursue anyone, they just find me and like to talk with me.

I just can't be responsible for your perceptions any more than for my sons and his insecurities. He gets flipped out because this girl he knows likes older guys and he thinks I would take advantage of her. I said, honestly, it is all in your mind, I can get my own chicks thanks idea.

So, look, I can see what you are saying, I am in no way being judgemental, and I am saying simply you should be allowed to write about your life, or you decide to tell the world a deep dark secret on this forum, not to be MURDERED in some other persons words who send me a message offline for expressing your opinion.

And that is what the video is about, and I fail to see why the spirit of the video is about that and you are so irritated.

Creating an environment where you can be yourself, without being razed to the core, which I have never done here, and I could if I wanted to, but honestly, it is just not me. And as for the Ego you suggested, it is assurance, not Ego, there is a difference. Assured behavior is knowing your direction, Ego is when you think you are the direction.

I do think that people who unfairly accuse others of being over sensitive have some sort of psychosis that makes them afraid to confront their own imperfections.

However, there is a point where people insist on being sensitive just to drown in a sea of emotions, because they can't find ways to experience other kinds of emotional catharsis, such as joy, for instance.

As with practically every conflict between living beings, both sides in this scenario would be motivated by an overwhelming fear of losing control.

I'm not saying that people should laugh at themselves. That is not joy, rather it is a form of submission.

Originally posted by SoulOrb

Originally posted by Jenna
Thanks. My only request is that I get to be the cashew.

I love Cashews, but I get too many and then I eat them all.

Same. Then I feel sick.

Anyway, you can be sensitive, but try not to be emotionally sensitive.
By that i mean making a drama out of everything. If you respond calmly to people who are looking for a rise out of you, they'll fear you and respect you more. Don't try to be 'fake calm', people can see right through that. You have to actually be in control within.

If people are genuinely being mean, they dont need YOU to tell them that.
Leave that to other people to tell them ( By punching them in the face ), they'll find out soon enough by the hard lives they're generating for themselves and it'll probably end up biting them on the ass.

They won't learn through your pain, so don't show it to them.

Originally posted by FadeToBlack

Originally posted by clcreek

Originally posted by SoulOrb
HELLO. I AM HERE. I DO NOT NEED TO BE INTERPRETED.

I read what you wrote and analyzed how you wrote it and made an observation. Apparently you are unhappy with the impressions your writing left.

And yes everything is to be interpreted; choices of words, writing style, punctuation... it all adds to the message or takes from it. People are saying more then they realize when they talk or write.

I have read through alot of the other things people have posted here and you are all nuts

Y'all have a nice day, I gotta go to another thread...

BLASPHEMY!
A judgement!!

Seriously though. I do agree with the statement that your writing style, punctuation, and general feel do say a lot about your character in general.

[edit on 5/7/2009 by FadeToBlack]

Do me do me. Am i perceived as awesome?

Probably.

I have been on this website for sometime and i just signed up so that i might reply to this post.

I understand you mean well, but i must observer the inherent fallacy i find in your video and this continueing thread.

First, you attribute the Oversensitive the qualities of the sensitive. Many a man has been told he is sensitive and it was never an insult.

Insensitivity can be a persons way of dealing with issues they are sensitive about, and deal with such issues through irony etc.

You make 2 classifications Oversensitive people, and insensitve people.
I wil make 4

Oversensitive.
Sensitive.
Insensitive
and finally -Bstrds

It appears from everything you say that you assume Oversensitve people are sensitive people and insensitive people are Bstrds.

Let me make an example; Your video talked briefly about being called oversensitive by exgirlfriends. I am going to suggest that all the rambling inbetween (the unabomber manifesto had more clarity) was to justify those first 30 seconds. -Now i just did one of two things, either i insulted you or i didn't. If i did it is because you oversensitive, if only because a sensitve person has dealt with past issues to such a degree that the writings of some guy in a forum could never pigeon hole him. I fear your adamancy to reply to all these posts only backs up my original hypothesis.

Let me make another; "I slept with your mom last night", this is a joke based on confrontation and "calling people out" since you play the role of a forum junky i am going to assume you have a problem with neither. If the person replies "my mom is dead" was i insensitive, or were they oversensitive (since i couldn't of known)? It of course would depend upon my intention and the emotion behind thier response.

This brings me to the second part. You video was a random regurgitation of ideas. You useds unrelated things (such as your workplace) to suggest that the status quo is the problem. Well it is... but the fact that my garbarge needs to be picked up more often has nothing to do with the fact that that i want to see my girlfriend more.

It leaves me to interpret that what you see as injustice (the work place) helps you to justify other actions of injustice (some girl called you oversensitve).

Perhaps i am Insensitive, heck perhaps i am a Bstrd, but you and anyone on this forum can call me either without it affecting me because i am sensitive to the fact that you don't know/understand me. Hell, maybe your exgirlfriend didn't know/understand you either. Her calling you Oversensitive will not effect you unless you are actually Oversensitive. Ultimately you have been trapped by yourself, you video about oversensitivity would never have been made by someone that isn't oversensitive.

That all being said, i enjoyed your bitching about beauracrcy and you are absolutely correct, even the parts about medicating the public (except no one says "about 38%" stick with 40 or people will think you are crazy).

I want to make a single reccomendation.

If you got a problem write it. Your devotion to this or any forum makes you appear tragic. Step away and stop defending yourself against people who judge you unfairly (stop being oversensitive). Write a book, take the energy you focus here and make it apeal to a grander audience. writing brings people into clarity of thought. If you got time to answer all the Bstrds here you got time to write a book.

Then again, I might just be a Bstrd....

Broke.

Originally posted by T0by
Do me do me. Am i perceived as awesome?
Probably.

Yes you are, we are all terrfic, we are all God. It just gets boring being so omnipotent, so we make these nice little devices and fractured our own soul for the fun of it. Heck you might be the fragment here in the room on the other side of my apartment wall :-)