Over Sensitive - AKA Wearing Your Heart On Your Sleeve

Well Broke, first you just make my day. I mean I evoked a person with my rantings to join up to a great Forum so he could share his ideas, what better compliment is there than that. And yes, I am not beyond giving a self serving plug to a great Forum, and they are doing what I wish Project Camelot would have done as well, because this forum has a nice simple approach with it's advertising through adsense, but allowing people to share freely.

Second, I go through stages, lots of rain this week, and I am inside and I need a break from other work, so I do up some videos, and chill, and have fun. Now I could sit here, and let people respond and not reply, that is what some do. However I am truly interested in what people say, but often I keep it under my hat, and then tell them when they were successful in inspiring me, if you knew me personally, you would know this.

Now, yes, all my videos are longer than they need to be. There are alot of people who can take that and put it in 10 words, it would be a done, next. But you see, I like talking. And I like seeing myself on camera, and I enjoy telling stories. I like to hone my craft of doing up a 8 minute video and not editing, it can be tough, I think this one was a one edit video. I could have edited by why bother, I mean, what is the point unless the edit is truly needed.

Now I type about 120 words a minute, well on this laptop is is more like 60. All my replys are long, and I am not a very concise guy, so there was no insult there, and you know what I love that about me. If someone I loved passed away I would keep them around a few extra days, etc., I am in no hurry.

Now, you are right, but there are more than 4 categories, but that is an improvement. Again however you are logically making a category. What I am saying is that yes, there are the people who are sensitive with less armor, and I will agree that people have adopted insensitivity to deal with issues that others have that would drag them down to acknowledge, but whom themselves might be sensitive to anothers insensitivity. It is just a lens, from that perspective.

What I am saying is, and the reason I put it in the video, that the insensitivity might help the person who is being insensitive and let them stay in their comfort zone, but in the end not asking questions leads to more problems, it does not de-escalate the problem. Much of it has to do with trying to find some sort of empathy.

Now, see because I devote alot of time to my threads, you then made an assumption of inference. You assume I am placing alot of my life in my thread, and am caught up to a point it might be a negative thing to my life. You then suggested I get out, etc., you started off great and then even you got side tracked with judgments.

See, this is my life now. I had the kids, the house, and all those things. I was not happy, yet so you say wow, do you not wish more more?

As we speak 50 people are arriving for at work in 5 companies. They are able to do their work today because I am efficient and ensure that when they arrive that things are running well, and I do it well because I am detailed, I can be long winded and consider things before I act, I have learned it is not what you do, it is often what you do not do that counts.

And as we speak 3 web servers serving millions of hits per day are being maintained by me, and on top of that I personally own 120 domains, and have many dozens of sites up and running.

Then on top of that, today I will probably produce another video, write another 50 threads in this and the other 3 forums I am on, and design a few websites. I redesigned 40 websites in one day last week, because for example, I use scripting and know how to do things in mass.

Now at 2pm this afternoon I get on a bus and hang out at a coffee shop, and I talk to people and chill and basically I got the life of an amazing person, I am the richest guy in the coffee shop, but the poorest often times and might have enough for only a coffee. And I can hardly wait to get home to write you another email. That is because you are important to me, and you possibly are in the traffic there with a whole different form of ideals doing what you love.

However ironically people think I do nothing. They do not see me paint, or know how many projects I have on the go, and they just see me as this guy on his laptop at a coffee shop. And now and then a person will ask, and they will go holy crap, I mean you are doing all of that. Yep. How? I dunno, I just am.

And yet I patiently read your words, and the word of others, and read judgement after judgement about my life, and my over focus on my threads, or as the case might be, and just exist and write back because I love people, and I love you. And that is what we are missing, and most of these posts. It is all a judgement. People are not asking questions, they write first, and then think later, and I do that too. It is easy in this world. However I am trying to find a better way for me, and well, I am glad I roped you in from the guest mode to a member mode.

Thanks for joining us.

Originally posted by Broke
Let me make another; "I slept with your mom last night", this is a joke based on confrontation and "calling people out" since you play the role of a forum junky i am

Oh did you need my mom to contact you, she might need some more love in her life, I am one of those kids who moved away and do not see her alot. If you are handy she could use a hand around her home there, I am too far away to help out. Let me know, and I will ask her!

fascinating and brilliant.

I am a writer and wish i could do 120 a minute! hell i even need a forum with a spell check.

I would only add that my judgements were only what they were, insensitivity clouded in irony, as of course i do not know you.

I write back not to defend anything but to suggest you might have misinterpreted the second half. You may have countless prjects on the go, and i never meant to demean your life beyond this forum, only to suggest that the development of ideas is somthing that takes time and revision.

If i ever suggest someone writes -it is only as a compliment. Forums are where you may feel comfortable but Forums are the porridge of the literary world (and you may do better being critiqued by people who publically have been given backing to thier critique)

Food (porridge) for thought. Might you have interpreted that part differently if you weren't oversensitive?

One other thing, If you don't want to be oversensitive, answer people who say you are with "you're wrong". Only an oversensitive person would take an unfounded persons attack/judgement to heart.

pretty sure I'm still a Bstrd,.....

Broke

Originally posted by Broke

pretty sure I'm still a Bstrd,.....

Broke

Broke, if you want to be a bstrd, I can support you. Have you ever heard of Non Violent Communication? I discovered it last year, I know nothing about it, and have received no training, but I decided to experiment with the little bit I could absorb. Anyway, basically, when someone reacts, they react for a reason, usually higher self is giving them a nudge through reaction to interact with you, so I do not take it personal.

My buddy one day was going on about this big contract, which never happened, and it was worth 2 million, and how then he would do this and that, and he would tell this person this, and etc.. It hit me. If no one took a millionaires money, how would he live? He is dependent on people taking his money, he is actually more needy than the person with no money, because he lives at a higher exchange level and he depends on people accepting his money.

If people said, sorry you do not get to buy gas, or food, and no car, and your money is the wrong color, well, man that millionaire is out of luck.

Likewise my posts are nothing without you and others who come to this forum, so if you want to be a bstrd, great, no problem, we can do that for you, thanks for the support.

reply to post by SoulOrb


Yeah... that's it.... deny your own sensitivity. Don't pay any attention to what those around you are saying.

Look here is the cold hard facts. It doesn't matter what you are. It only matters what image you project to others. Don't blame others for something that lies squarely in your control.

I too wear my emotions on my sleeve, but I'm not "over sensitive" as you put it. It only means I'm transparent emotionally.

You sir have mixed up two completely different things, PLUS you have failed to listen to the feedback in your environment.

Originally posted by HunkaHunka
Look here is the cold hard facts. It doesn't matter what you are. It only matters what image you project to others. Don't blame others for something that lies squarely in your

Who's facts were those again?

I have read your other posts before, you seem like a sensible guy so I am curious what got you all winged off at me. I almost think if this were the John, you would have hauled it out and flop it at me, and I will tell you, I am a big guy, but I am not overly endowed.

Emotionally transparent, what is that? Can you explain? Blame, where, when, who, what, where, and why? I am missing them all.

A person cannot be responsible for how another person interprets something, that is not their responsibility. It is only their responsibility to act in a certain way, and not make person attacks, and this thread is about that. Not making personal attacks.

For example, in a bar or public setting, if they do not like the behavior or a group, well it is them that leave if the group is not doing anything drastically uncivil. Instead of pick a fight with them, that person does not have a right to do that. Here for example, people will intentionally jump into say a UFO thread, and do so to trounce the people, pick a fight.

Now please read this reply. Am I attacking you anywhere here, honestly. I am saying any one thing that lowers the concept of your divinity?

Could you have asked me a few questions instead is all I am saying, instead of just jumping in and stating something in an attempt to lower my divinity? I read your posts, you are capable of high level interaction, and I might not be answering things they way some people want here, but I am not making personal attacks either.

Besides a few people here, lots of personal attacks who feel I am calling them insensitive, and well, to be honest, I never even saw their posts. So they must feel sensitive to their own insensitivity is all I can think of.

Originally posted by SoulOrb

Originally posted by T0by
Do me do me. Am i perceived as awesome?
Probably.

Yes you are, we are all terrfic, we are all God. It just gets boring being so omnipotent, so we make these nice little devices and fractured our own soul for the fun of it. Heck you might be the fragment here in the room on the other side of my apartment wall :-)

I've read about that theory before. It's the only one I like.

I feel we are all born quite sensitive, but as you go through life, you see there really is no point to be it. It only brings you down. It's just survival.

You hit me, I hit you. That's the mentality we should all have. Some people though are so tired of the garbage, they go into, I hit you first mode. This is not nessesary.

If we all followed that mentality, nobody would be hitting in the first place.

Of course, one's sesitivity will determine, what is a hit, and what is not a hit. But if you know, such as putting your hand in a flame, I will get burned, you stop doing it. Sensitivity won't matter then.

[edit on 8-5-2009 by CrygSol]

[edit on 8-5-2009 by CrygSol]

This forum seems to be much more diverse than most other forums. Most forums attract "like minded" people this place has a lot of extremes on opposite sides.

I am certainly not very sensitive, but I do get frustrated at some of the stuff I see here. But that is the nature of this place. If it bothers us too much it is best to retreat to places on the net where people are a bit more like-minded.

reply to post by clcreek

I have read through alot of the other things people have posted here and you all are nuts

That's just human nature, friend.

You humans are all nuts, you are very strange.

farm3.static.flickr.com...

Perfection my friend perfection as usual (from my perception)!

Wonderful thread and quite stimulating too might I add!! There is hordes to ponder and reflect over currently, so perhaps I will contribute more later on tonight when I have a bit more time to express myself appropriately (Essentialy just woke up, exercise and meditation must be accomplished first)

But for now, only a proper *bow* is required on my behalf, you always deliver the best! Gratitude for your endevours!

Be In Peace

Originally posted by Stormdancer777

You humans are all nuts, you are very strange.

ok, I'll ask...

Your comment is phrased as if to say that you are not human.

So what are you?

First i'll admit that I have beem a long time lurker on the ATS forum. This thread and a general sense in my life that I need to change my direction from being more introverted to being more active in life has lead me to join the site and post.

This thread really got my interest because I have had both the oversensitive and mama's boy labels thrown at me throughout my life. Much more in the past then now. These labels have always confused me. I tend to feel that I am not so much oversensitive as I tend to very seldom let things say about me bother me.

I have even developed a defense mechanism to personal attack. That even though it may not be the most healthy its effects work very well. When someone makes fun of something I do or say, I will usually respond by actually taking what they said a step further and laughing about it. They usually have a hard time responding back to that because it is not the response they were looking at getting. They expect me to attack them back personally and I absolutely don't fall for that. This ends any type of confrontation they were expecting.

One of the times that I got the oversensitive label and was extremely confused was during a highly emotional experience with one of my ex-girlfriends. She had gotten pregnant and she was going through some extreme emotional problems with it herself. She would flip-flop between the ideas of having the baby and having an abortion. We tried discussing it many times and it got very emotional. Neither one of us really believed in the idea of abortion, but at the same time new we had many ways that the birth would negatively impact us. Especially in her case where she already had a 3-yr old with someone else that she had recently called of an engagement with. I really felt I was trying to be as supportive as I could by letting her know that I would advise as best I could but the decision was ultimately hers and I would support any decision made. Well to try and shorten this up, what ended up happening is that the decision was taken out of our hands. She had a miscarriage. Even after this happened their was still a lot of emotions flying around because the doctor during the miscarriage informed her that she had lost twins. I remember many times of talking with her and holding her with both of us crying afterwards. Well when we broke up, she brought up this period and said how I how was oversensitive and that what she needed was someone that wasn't crying with her but someone who would just tell her everything would be alright. Thus my confusion at the time, was her real idea of a "man" just someone that bottled up their emotions and told her only what she wanted to hear. Is this what people really want in their partner?

My most memorable time with the mama's boy label was when I had finally got up the nerve to ask out someone I worked with on a date. I know she knew that I liked her already. When I asked her out though she basically said "that we would never work out and that I was too much of a mama's boy". I was disappointed that she wouldn't even give me chance and try to get to know me better, but I did not take it so much as a personal attack. I just did understand why she used it the way she did. I can't really help the fact that my parents broke up when I was ten and my mom was the one that raised me. I tend to think it's a good thing that we grew to be close and very good friends. She sacrificed a lot in trying to raise my brother and me the best she could with little help from our fathers. I still sometimes get confused about why she used this label. Is it because I was not one of the chest pounding typical males that she dated and that whenever we were around each other I tried to treat her with consideration and respect.

This whole subject in general I feel can be very confusing for everyone. Since I am running out of room I will end this post here and start my next topic in another post.

I'd also like to comment on something that confused me early on in this thread. This is where people were confusing oversensitivity with the push for mainstream to be polically correct.

I got the feeling that people thought that politcally correct people were oversensitive. I tend to disagree with that assumption. I actually feel that the PCers tend to be to insensitive. They tend to feel that if you do not use their wording or adhere to their standards in what you say, do or believe that you are wrong. To me this shows insensitivity, please correct me if I am wrong.

These kinds of people touch our lives in many ways almost everyday. Most recently when Obama got blasted for saying that his bowling adventures was more like someone form the special olympics. I know this is no where near an exact quote, but you should get my point. I never felt that in any way he was trying to make fun of special olympians. He was making fun of his own bowling prowess or lack there of. The media and many others had a field day with this and tried to make him look and feel bad. This type of generization is used everyday by people in the general public. I don't feel it makes them bad people. It is just an easy way to get a point across. I believe thats how most generizations and/or stereotypes are born. What makes them good or bad is in the way that they are used. Some people definitely use them in very derrogatory ways and that is bad.
This was not the case with Obama in my opinion.

Just my opinion though.


[edit on 5/8/2009 by tekwolf]

[edit on 5/8/2009 by tekwolf]

Originally posted by tekwolf
Well when we broke up, she brought up this period and said how I how was oversensitive and that what she needed was someone that wasn't crying with her but someone who would just tell her everything would be alright. Thus my confusion at the time, was her real idea of a "man" just someone that bottled up their emotions and told her only what she wanted to hear. Is this what people really want in their partner?

I know exactly what she means. If a woman is freaking out she does not want a male partner that freaks out even MORE. She does not want a guy who will emulate her emotional state in an attempt to please her or show he sympathizes with her.

She wants someone that will provide BALANCE. She wants a rock that she can lean on if things get really weird. That applies both ways, in a relationship if the guy is freaking out the female partner provide balance too by calming him down.

Yes, many women do see that quality as important in a man. Pretty basic stuff when you think of it from an evolutionary/biological stanpoint.

reply to post by Sonya610


Its true .... there cannot be simultaneous freaking out .

You`ve got to take it in turns

----------------------------------------------



[edit on 8-5-2009 by UmbraSumus]

Originally posted by Sonya610


I know exactly what she means. If a woman is freaking out she does not want a male partner that freaks out even MORE. She does not want a guy who will emulate her emotional state in an attempt to please her or show he sympathizes with her.

She wants someone that will provide BALANCE. She wants a rock that she can lean on if things get really weird. That applies both ways, in a relationship if the guy is freaking out the female partner provide balance too by calming him down.

Yes, many women do see that quality as important in a man. Pretty basic stuff when you think of it from an evolutionary/biological stanpoint.

Sonya, i have been pondering this over and over recently and you know what you are absolutey spot on, maybe not for everyone, but this definately applies to myself. I think though, in my case it was coming out of a controlled relationship that made me feel this way. It in some cases, certainly in my own circumstances, comes down to the desciding wire of what is NEEDED out of a partner, even more so than compatibilty.

This is why I posted my stories Sonya. I am always trying to learn how to handle things better and I feel that most of the people in this forum are open-minded and fairly level headed. Even though I do understand what you are saying and I did tell her I would always be there for here if she needed someone. At the same time I feel that she was negating the fact that I had emotions involved also. Who was I suppose to go to for my emotional release. At the time I cared for her more than anyone else I had ever been with and I was just suppose to bottle up my feelings with seeing what she was going through and the loss I felt myself. Maybe I am really oversensitive at times and still need to work on it.

I did have to go through a similar event 10 years later, where a girlfriend had gotten pregnant and she had a miscarriage also. I actually was stronger this time, but it did still hurt immensely. This girlfriend though was not put off by the fact that I cried though either, I actually think she took it more of a show of how strongly I felt about her and the possibility of us having a child together. And I know that it sounds like I was weak both times probably just because I cried, but I do feel that I was stronger. It is hard for me to describe the differences without writing a whole essay on it. And noone wants to read that, including me.

Thank you for your insight.

[edit on 5/8/2009 by tekwolf]

[edit on 5/8/2009 by tekwolf]

reply to post by tekwolf


Thanks for sharing Tekwolf, yes I as well have a deflection stance that I had to develop in order to survive. Basically what people who are wired different do not see, is that to confront someone who is pushing you around with words etc., that a person needs to enter a certain energy space. And that space has a vibration, as all emotions do. And that vibration xan other effects in your life when you have to enter that warrior space to enforce your position.

Originally posted by tekwolf
when Obama got blasted for saying that his bowling adventures was more like someone form the special olympics. I know this is no where near an exact quote, but you should get my point. I never felt that in any way he was trying to make fun of special
[edit on 5/8/2009 by tekwolf]

I agree, and besides, we knew his intent, if a person watches the interview he had no bad intent there. And even if he said, like someone from the special olympics who have the heart and desire of the most beautiful intent, they just cannot usually compete in a professional circle.

A buddy said to me one time, look, you can take up basketball if you want but chances are you will never rise to my current level, I have played since I was 16, and still play once a week to this day. And well, in the short term he is right, I might never play at the technical level, so I said, right, I agree.

And likewise only a few people will have my overall experience in computers. And that is not because of intelligence, or ability, there are millions ahead of me, but they often times just were not there in the 70's when at 16 I went to the university and the students took me under my wings to learn APL, Pascal, etc., and I remember in my first computer class where we had no micros and used the mainframe at the University, and this guy brought in a Commodore Pet, about 50 lbs I think, and plunked this down, and we could not get our head around how this thing worked, and what you could do with this basic language, with hardly no storage. So therefore is hard for a 20 year old today, to have an "overall experience" as me. And if I do not slow down, and reach 90 or more, they might never catch up. If I slow down my learning, they will.

So those things are simple truths, however there have been millions of people who are millionaires, while I missed making a million, the knowledge they had was applied better to make money, and I would be very insensitive to their accomplishments should I deny that.

And my buddy well, in simple skill I will not exceed him. However spiritually if I for example could anticipate his move, and become his consciousness and know what he is to do before he does it, and divine that knowledge and not spend the time to think about it, and react with no thought, I most likely would beat him in a game, because he would be unable to beat himself, right? So yes he is right, but in a way he is wrong, if I applied a skill he did not consider to be valid such as precognition.

So there are many layers of truth, and these truths are just a lens as we see it. There would be no since of telling my basketball buddy to Go to H and storm out or pick a fight. He was simply stating how he felt you must win basketball, honing of skills and knowledge. I might think of spirituality.

So does Obama go and say this whole thing, and maybe a story from his life, no, he is on a talk show where people are stressed, maybe having sex with their wife and watching TV or something, and he uses a simple analogy, and well, he has to assume that the people on the other side are smart enough to see his intent, and see there was not any bad intent.

The other day a guy on Youtube sent me sort of negative comment. About 8 exchanges in he all the sudden said, sorry I did not watch your whole video, and now I am doing it and wow, yeah I love this video, and now I think he is watching all of them since he commented on other ones.

Would I have made that breakthrough without his insensitive comment. Interesting, I do not know. So in a way my reaction was as important as the other person, but I also am in a good mental space right now, and well the next person he does that to might not be, and it might escalate to something all because he did not even watch the video.