How many men have no clue

a reply to: litterbaux

Oh I am sorry you mean the man's mistake, see we can't get pregnant without sperm, which the guy has. Why is it our mistake??

a reply to: JAGStorm

I was a rock musician from age 13...married at 18, groupies on the road for 20 years. They were all just faces in the night in a different town, country, location. How would I even know?

3 marriages later, sadly J...Ive never had kids, nor raised a family.

God Bless J

a reply to: JAGStorm

I was a young lad holidaying in Wales around 25 years ago, I was sort of half living there for a while, and one night me & a couple of mates went to visit & chill with this lad & his girlfriend. My mates left after an hour or two, but I needed a place to crash overnight so they let me bed down on a camping mattress in the living room. Well, wouldn't you know it, the girl comes out of their room an hour after they went to bed, and she basically seduced me & despite my better angels I ended up sleeping with her, with the lad in the other room - I was sure he must know, but somehow he didn't care. Anyway - she wasn't satisfied with just one round, and no kidding, this girl was practically forcing herself upon me, ALL NIGHT, and we're talking eight or nine times over the course of several hours, WITHOUT protection. I was a red-blooded young man at the time, and I didn't get too much attention from the fairer sex, so I just went with it at first. But eventually, I was shattered, and as the morning light crept through the curtains, and she came at me for another go, I had to call time on it, and left.

Anyway, fast forward just over a year later, and I was in the same town, walking down the street with a mate. Then I saw her, with a different guy, pushing a pram/stroller down the road. The kid in the stroller was around five/ six months old, or thereabouts, and he was the spitting image of me when I was young. To explain a bit further, when I slept with her, her boyfriend was dark haired & had a fairly dark complexion, perhaps Greek or Spanish in his ancestry. She was blonde. The kid was blonde as well, but really, really blonde, Nordic like, exactly like I was as a kid, before my hair turned darker when I was around six years old. As we passed them (she didn't seem to recognise me), I had the weirdest feeling, the only thing I can compare it to is that feeling you get when you say someone 'walked over my grave' - a really uncanny, eery sensation, like something wrong had occurred which grieved the universe, and there was a sense of horror that it couldn't be undone..

Looking back on it now, I was totally out of line for doing this in the first place - nowadays I'm a Christian man who tries hard to walk righteously. Back then I was an idiot, I was drinking, drugs, satanic music (though I didn't realise SAtanism was a real thing back then, I was very naive) - pretty much everything. As I've recalled these incidents over the years, I've had the strongest impression that for a number of reasons, she was trying to get pregnant by me on that night. She really didn't let up, totally rabid.

Before my mates had left, before everyone went to bed, one of their older friends was visiting, who claimed to be a legitimate witch, she was reading our auras & stuff like that. But again, I didn't believe in that stuff back then, though she was really dark in spirit. Now, I have a horrible feeling that the girl tried to get pregnant on purpose for a couple of reasons - firstly, she could claim money from the state with a baby in tow. But also, I have a strong suspicion, awful as it is, that she was literally a junior member of a witchcraft coven, and they wanted that baby for magickal purposes. The really dark ones can do terrible things with a baby, even if it appears like everything's normal to outside observers, at first. I fear for that child, because now I understand the things that can be done by hardcore witchcraft, and I'm sad to think that I might have played an unwitting part in the generation of a terrible situation, with real & deep consequences for the child - and potentially, for myself also, because I had the distinct impression that the witch woman was intrigued by me. I was going through some stuff at the time, and I struggled with demonic oppression for a number of years afterwards, it took me right to rock bottom, and I was only liberated when I gave my life to Christ.

As I wrote this post, I felt that because I'm so sure that that was my child, and because they might have tried a Moonchild ritual with him, I have a duty to pray for him, wherever he may be now - perhaps one day we'll be reunited, and I'd like to be able to say that I thought of him, and prayed for him. Thanks to the OP for sparking a memory that I had almost totally forgotten, until now. It's that thought of unknown children which I'd never really considered in full depth (with all my current knowledge & learnings) until right now. Interesting to ponder, sad to reflect on, as the child wouldn't have been loved if my suspicions are correct.

a reply to: FlyInTheOintment

I believe your intuition but also wanted to say genetics are weird.

For example, I’m 1/2 Asian, my dad was as blonde as can be. I look very Asian and am very short around 5’2”
My husband is white with black black hair and blue eyes. Our middle daughter looks pure European, very tall dirty blonde and light hazel/green eyes.

People absolutely didn’t believe she was my biological daughter. People are also shocked when they find out she is 1/4 Asian.

For a long time a majorty of abortions were young sexually active women who choose to have unprotected sex. They were too
young by the 90s standards. Women had to go to college, anyone who had a child under 18 or around that age was doomed.
Abortion was for young girls. Very little for rape victims and other ways.

a reply to: JAGStorm

What I am hoping for is a massive outbreak of vaginal responsibility! Like a woman honestly admitting she is not on birth control, if she is in the "window" between the 10th and 16th day after her period, asking her partner if he wants a child at this point in time.

a reply to: FredHubbard

Ummm.. what about your responsibility to yourself?
If you think the women are like you are describing, why are you taking the measures you need to protect yourself? All the way up to just bypassing sex.

a reply to: dawnstar

Translation:

"Women unfairly are the most affected by pregnancy! The man has no burden!

Women shouldn't have to take any responsibility for pregnancy! The man should take it all"

Sounds sort of like a self-defeating argument to me.

TheRedneck

a reply to: TheRedneck
??? So, men aren't affected when there is an oops?
Because if there is, and if they want to avoid any unpleasant consequences....
Maybe they need to take their destiny in their own hands and not trust anyone else with it.
Just like women should be!

a reply to: dawnstar

I absolutely agree. Men should take responsibility, and so should the woman. Takes two to tango, you know.

Just like women should be!

Absolutely. My apologies if I misread your post; it sounded like you were expecting men to take all the precautions. Both parties should do so.

TheRedneck

a reply to: FredHubbard

So, why you screwing around with "irresponsible whores" . You could always get yourself snipped ya know.
It is cheaper for the man to get a vasectomy than a women to get her tubes tied. Or at least I think it is.. not up to date with the current obamacare legal state. And, no method of birth control is 100% effective. How do you know the "irresponsible whore" was being dishonest?

a reply to: dawnstar

If she has sex without informing her partner of the possibility of her getting pregnant as I pointed out in my post she is being irresponsible. Interesting you couldn't grasp that. And unless she is raped then I believe the costs of raising the child should be 50/50 because she volunteered to have sex.

a reply to: litterbaux

Child support is crazy, in Wisconsin the first one is 17% of your income. You will face jail time if you don't pay child support.

Prison labor must pay very well, then.

a reply to: FredHubbard

If she has sex without informing her partner of the possibility of her getting pregnant as I pointed out in my post she is being irresponsible.

Just curious... how many men of reproductive age don't know that unprotected sex with a woman can get her pregnant? Is that some long-forgotten knowledge? Seems to me that would fall in the category of having to put "stop engine before installing fan belt" on fan belt sleeves.

And unless she is raped then I believe the costs of raising the child should be 50/50 because she volunteered to have sex.

I agree with that. However, I will point out that there is more than money required to raise a child. Someone must do the daily hands-on stuff. Are you calculating the equivalent cost of that?

That's why I say money is such a poor measure of value. Some things are hard to price.

But as for both sharing equally? Absolutely! That same philosophy applies if the man has custody... the woman gets to cough up the bulk of the cash.

TheRedneck

a reply to: FredHubbard

Interesting that you can't grasp onto the idea that the possibility is always there!

The cost of raising the child.

Okay, so exactly how does that one work?
Mommy and daddy made a boo boo in what they thought was a one night stand and low and behold, they find that they now have this unbreakable chain that holds them together. Only they find they can't stand each other, let alone live with each other.
So, now... they each have to figure out how they can manage to have two households instead on one.
Should they go all in, and have two homes that are able to house the child or children since your they are all just Irresponsible whores is utter bs and often there are more children involved. Or, should they consider the home the children's and whoever has custody at the time gets the main home to live in. Whoever isn't gets the cheap efficiency in the crappy neighborhood. And then, they can either agree on how they want to deal with it or a court can step in. Both need to work to fulfill the financial obligation while both need to take equal responsibility for the care of the children or the cost of the childcare.
Would that suit your fancy better? For some reason, I doubt it.

a reply to: dawnstar

Assuming the parents are both adults, housing shouldn't be an issue. Both already have homes. Size may be a consideration, but only if they are living in single-bedroom dwellings and then only after a year or so. There's no real issue with an infant sharing the parents' room before that.

The real issue is time. It takes time to raise a child, and that time is dictated harder than any job ever did. If the child is sick, it needs to be cared for... not after work, but NOW. The child needs food, nutritious food, and that either entails cooking or spending a load of cash on eating out. If the child gets into trouble, it needs attention NOW. It's hard top work a job and raise a child, and it's hard to raise a child on no income.

That's what I was alluding to when I said it's hard to place a value on time.

Money, now... it takes very little money to really raise a child. I know all these articles are claiming the exact opposite, but take a look at what they are including... college is not required to have a successful life; it's nice, but not a necessity. Attendance at an exclusive college even less so. Clothes, yes, if you buy all new they are expensive... but they have consignment shops and yard sales for a reason. Shoes are a little harder, but since most kids outgrow theirs before they use up all the goody, even that is doable.

Food... learn to cook. If one can cook, the most nutritious meals are also pretty cheap. There's nothing wrong with Mac-n-Cheese, beans from a crock pot, maybe a few potatoes (and there's probably a thousand ways to cook a tater). Greens are a good source of nutrition and fiber, and are cheap as well. We even use polk salad... it grows wild for the picking (it just has to be cooked correctly or it can be poisonous).

School supplies... stock up on that one week per year when Walmart puts all the basic school supplies on sale.

Children do not have to have the latest toys, their own cell phone at age 6, or the fancy computerized learning centers. My favorite toy growing up was a worn-out bicycle inner tube... it held just enough air to make a great throwing toy. I spent hours throwing it up, catching it, and doing it all over again. We also survived just fine without video games... they hadn't been invented yet.

Bottom line, it's not money the child needs... it's time, from both parents, love, from both parents, and a chance to learn and play. These things all take time, but take precious little money. Te purpose of child support is to ensure that the parent receiving it (usually the mother since men often already have an established career) can afford to spend the time required with the child instead of trying to advance a demanding career.

Just wanted to get that in there.

TheRedneck

a reply to: TheRedneck

Assuming that I am so out of date that no one actually tries to do the marriage thing and find things dont work out down the road and they have irreconcilable differences after having brought a few children into the world, children that both may really care about a great deal?
And. Assuming that the govt has closed that nice little crack where a family is making too much to get any assistance from the govt while not being able to live... so, money isn't the issue.

And, of course assuming that the husband will live and be supporting the wife throughout her life, wont die first, after the kids have been raised and she has no dependents, a work history of on again off again work experience, and finds herself trying to survive in a world where everyone thinks you should be supporting yourself, should have saved for her own retirement, and not be stuck still in that danged crack..

Oh ya. We tried the chickens, they got eaten we still dont know how or what got into the coop.

a reply to: dawnstar

There's a lot of fear in that post.

If you want a guarantee that life will work out, it's not coming. Everyone goes through setbacks. It would actually be boring if it didn't happen that way. I've been financially wiped out three times in my life. Each time I clawed my way back. I could have just given in to the fear and stopped, but I didn't.

Everyone has that same choice: lie down and roll over, or claw their way back. That's just how life works. No law, no Supreme Court decision, no edict from on high will ever change that. The best we can do is try to lay out some footholds for those doing the clawing.

I raised two children on a shoestring. I couldn't afford them. At times I couldn't afford to keep the power on. But I did it anyway, and the result of that sacrifice is that there are two well-adjusted, still-living, intelligent and capable people that wouldn't have been here today had I rolled over and quit. No, make that three... my new granddaughter wouldn't be here either. She's going to make her mark in the world too.

You let that fear overtake you if you want. I prefer to live outside of fear.

TheRedneck

a reply to: TheRedneck
First, I ain't talking from a position of fear of what might be, but rather experience of what was... my experience. And, I don't know of any reason to believe any women trying to live the way you seem to want them to wouldn't find it more difficult than it was 20-30 years ago. If I was to measure fears according to what I think is a more realistic fear.. my idea that being a stay at home wife/mother might put some women at a disadvantage later in life or this the evil liberals are conspiring to...destroy the church, turn us all into commies, whatever...
I think that there is more support for mine.

But, to be honest, maybe the reason you find that time with the kids has more value and I find having enough money to buy the family what they needed while growing up and enough to give myself at least enough independence financially without being a burden on my adult children is that maybe you had money, it was yours to decide to do what you wish. But, you sacrificed 40-50 hours of your time to get the money. While i had all the time to enjoy the home and kids for alot of the kids childhood..
.lots and lots of time... but pretty much sacrificed the security of having an income of her own. So, to me, I see the value of the money as being important.