How many men have no clue

a reply to: Bigburgh

Yes there are some Males out there that probably doesn't remember Spring Break. I deal with being alone.

There are wonderful guys out there that will take care of children that aren’t their own. This is not about them. If it was, there would be zero issues.

You sound like a real stand up guy!

a reply to: JAGStorm

Blushing, thank you.

Well, my father, mother, step father, step mother four sets of grandparents were the Village that it takes.

My father at 69 years of age, still will drop everything he's doing to help any of us kids, and his 8 grand daughters plus one grandson. My father went back to work after he retired of 32 years. Can't tell you how many medical trips he's made for my stepmother almost daily (Ca) while some of the grandchildren also needed to be taken somewhere.


2 of my sister's needed me to take them to the clinics. I was much younger and stupid, but I still ask them not to. But both were young and obviously scared for there future.

Soon after the family got involved, my father kindly gave them 2 family homes. They were able to have families of thier own.

Thing is, both sisters were "High Risk" pregnancies. Both have had multiple miscarriages, the doctor's advised them not to have anymore aboortions for health reasons. Can't imagine especially my father, not having all the kids around.

I'm not the stand up guy. My dad still holds that title.
I wish I could be like him.

a reply to: JAGStorm

This has a lot to do with the age of the guys as well, when they are young they will do the thing with as many women as they find willing. As they mature kids and family with a stable set up is a better sounding option. But this gets stuffed up because they are paying for the previous dalliance, with a woman who just wants and needs income to support the kids.It really all comes down to being sensible and waiting for that special connection . The whole society has become far too oversexualized.It is not just the people's fault either as every trick in the book is used to push it down your throat, young and sexy sells, and the guys are cannon fodder.

a reply to: JAGStorm

You're avatar drives me nuts. 😁

You got mail.
youtu.be...

originally posted by: RickyD
a reply to: JAGStorm

Adoption is a thing...many couples can't have children and would love to. This is how I see it. Also if you as the one who will bear the bodily responsibilities of getting pregnant don't insist on contraceptives being used to prevent a pregnancy when its unwanted...its totally on you. You can't let some guy got in raw then act surprised when it happens. I would understand and abortion much more if the steps to prevent a pregnancy were taken and it still happened. That is not the norm by a long shot.

But neither contraceptives, nor vaccines are 100% effective in every instance.

And quite a few folks on these boards have, and continue to, argue that a vaccine that isn't 100% effective at preventing an illness is useless.

Should, or shouldn't, the same standard be applied to contraceptives?

And, if contraceptives are "useless" (because they cannot prevent all pregnancies all the time), what does that leave us with?

Shall all women be cloistered, perhaps in some version of convents, or harems, until and unless they wish to shoulder the responsibility of bearing a child, maybe on their own?

Or perhaps all males, upon reaching the age of puberty (as determined by their pediatricians), should be required to undergo vasectomies; reversible of course (once an authorized counselor has thoroughly informed them of the consequences and responsibilities they will face as potential fathers).

Gee, Sharia law is looking more and more like the New American Conservativism.!

Maybe if yous would quit arguing among yourselves and spend some time actually looking deeper into things...
You would discover just how badly every one involved is being taken for a ride.

That being said, my advice would be to just say no to the sex till you find someone you can at least get along with enough to accept that you will have to deal them for probably the rest of your lives for the sake of the children or that the person you rolled with decided not to play the parent game.

a reply to: JAGStorm

Hoo-wee! You just stepped in it up to your eyeballs! You mentioned the "A"-word!

Don't fret. I got your OP, and I think it is something well worth discussing. No attacks from me on that.

Maybe it is good all of this is coming out and that the responsibility is going to be shared. Maybe this is the generation to do it.

I think maybe you're right. Responsibility should be shared. That child, from the instant of conception, belongs to both the mother and the father. Nature just forces the mother to have sole possession for nine months.

Personally, I think fathers should be forced to take responsibility for their actions. I also believe the family court system is so screwed up and pro-mother/anti-father right now I'm not sure it can even be fixed. Might have to be razed and rebuilt from the ground up. If a father is paying child support and poses no danger to the child, he should have the right to spend time with that child. Period. But that is not enforced or even allowed as an argument in family court; many men wound up in prison over the years because, despite paying their child support, the mother refused to let them see their child to the point where they stopped paying to try and force visitation. Under family court, paying for a child does not incur visitation; they are different issues.

I also know men who pay child support, even though their wife left them for another man and tried to keep their children away from them. Pretty sorry, if you ask me.

Maybe all this turmoil will finally force people to start looking at all the issues involved. A lot of our present social issues, IMO, is based on single-mother households with an absent father, and many of those are not because of the father wanted to be absent... the mother simply uses the child as a weapon to hurt him.

There are atrocities on both sides. Good thread.

TheRedneck

How many, indeed...

Yes, I "knocked up my girlfriend" many years ago...and she had an abortion and never told me. Birth control isn't 100 percent...

Had she told me, and she could have easily informed me, as she knew exactly where I was, and how to contact me.

She didn't. She allowed her fear, and pressure from her "father" to influence her decision. It was some years later that she got around to telling me that she had aborted a healthy baby boy. I had a son--still do, but one I'll never meet this side of heaven should I be so lucky. He'd be in his early 30's now, maybe with kids of his own--I'd be Grandpa seagull...

Had she told me, I'd have dropped everything--a very promising career in the commercial fishing industry, and Alaska with all that it had/has to offer... I wouldn't have even thought twice.

I dropped everything a few years later when my sister and niece needed my help. How less for my own child???

So my views on abortion are deeply held. So, too, my views on child support.

a reply to: JAGStorm

If someone ever turns up on my doorstep claiming to be my kid as long as they can prove it then I’ll support them as my own.

Can hardly take the blame for something I’m oblivious to. Maybe I should go ask every girl I’ve ever slept with if they have any kids without fathers they want to pin on me?

a reply to: JAGStorm



Serious ? Here. My sister suffered from an etopic pregnancy once. She was found laying on her floor in her apt by her neighbor, she was rushed to the local hospital and had surgery. That was over 25 years ago.

I also had a baby pass away while in my womb while I was at the hospital, I was told to go home and come back the next day for a d and c. One of the hardest things I ever went thru mentally.

So my question is this, if a woman runs into a REAL medical problem such as these, are hospitals no longer accepting them? Or is it certain states, I’m really confused that people think a hospital won’t take care of you in such a situation, or is it insurance related?

originally posted by: KTemplar
a reply to: JAGStorm



Serious ? Here. My sister suffered from an etopic pregnancy once. She was found laying on her floor in her apt by her neighbor, she was rushed to the local hospital and had surgery. That was over 25 years ago.

I also had a baby pass away while in my womb while I was at the hospital, I was told to go home and come back the next day for a d and c. One of the hardest things I ever went thru mentally.

So my question is this, if a woman runs into a REAL medical problem such as these, are hospitals no longer accepting them? Or is it certain states, I’m really confused that people think a hospital won’t take care of you in such a situation, or is it insurance related?

Not insurance related, from what I’ve read Dr’s don’t want to be charged in certain states. So for an ectopic pregnancy they might wait until there is bleeding or something bursts. This is all very new and we’ll see what happens. Some of those things are life threatening and we can’t be all wishy washy about how we treat them.

I

a reply to: KTemplar

www.politifact.com...

Most of the medical experts we talked to were clear that they don’t consider ectopic treatment an abortion. The lack of consensus over the definition for an abortion makes defining the treatment for an ectopic pregnancy confusing and it can have real-world implications. "I think the reason this is coming up right now is because of the vague wording of so many of these laws, and I think that is what the general public and clinicians and lawyers are all kind of grappling with,

originally posted by: olaru12

originally posted by: visitedbythem
a reply to: nugget1

I wonder if any men married their daughters...

Many fathers rape their daughters and now the daughters will be forced to give birth to their brothers in some states.

www.webmd.com...

abcnews.go.com...

www.cnn.com...

Millions of children slaughtered by their parents in a mass murder movement. Im glad the Supreme court took some action

a reply to: KTemplar

if a woman runs into a REAL medical problem such as these, are hospitals no longer accepting them?

Can't speak to other states, but in Alabama it's now a big story that doctors are asking the courts for advice on what constitutes a "medical emergency." It's a sad thing to see happening, but I can understand their concern.

I haven't heard of any deaths due to this... yet. I pray there are none.

All because some people became so zealous in 1973 that they managed to get the Supreme Court to legislate from the bench when they couldn't get Congress to do what they wanted. I only hope when all the furor dies down, people will be able to realize that was the root cause all along.

It matters how things are done in law.

TheRedneck

originally posted by: JAGStorm

originally posted by: optimisticcontrarian
a reply to: schuyler

And for the record, abortion is not "civilized."

This...........this a thousand times!

Is it civilized when the mother has an ectopic pregnancy?

Yes or no, or oh is that different?

Is it civilized to force a 12 year old to give birth and break her body?

Is it civilized to force a woman to carry a child that has no chance of survival?

is it civilized for a high school senior to have 3 abortions her senior year, simply because she was a slut that didn't want the babies she made? (two sides to this)

a reply to: JAGStorm


Thank you JAG and Redneck!

What a backwards way of viewing the issue. The question not asked that should have been is “how many women didn’t include their partner is this decision?” Let me guess, they expected the men to just know or didn’t care to include the man in this decision.

a reply to: JAGStorm

23 and me ruined my life. I was raised a proud Greek in Greece and the US back and forth and it turned out that my grandfather wasn’t who we thought he was. I’m not Greek by blood at all and my grandpa was well, he and his father were both executed for being quite prolific serial killers. Me I am 39 and I have yet to throw a punch in my life so I didn’t get the violence gene but you can’t imagine the dread learning the truth caused our family. Those warnings are no joke. Not kidding even one bit. And the story of the victims...my God how my grandmother kept the secret she did till she died I have no idea.