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originally posted by: NthOther
a reply to: Boadicea
Actually I replied to you and not Krakatoa because I'm sure you're much better looking, so if I'm going to get into a pissing contest the choice was obvious.
If you're into that sorta thing, you know.
originally posted by: InTheLight
a reply to: toms54
So you see Toms, it's all due to perspective.
originally posted by: Krakatoa
originally posted by: Boadicea
a reply to: Krakatoa
You still do not understand my point do you???
Did you notice the freaking question marks all over my reply to you??? How am I supposed to understand it if you refuse to explain it???
Unlike you, I am not and have not made any assumptions. I have asked you repeatedly to explain, clarify, distinguish, etc.
But when I ask a clear and direct question -- repeatedly -- and you refuse to answer that clear and direct question with a clear and direct answer, and ESPECIALLY when you slink to the depths of insulting me, then it is crystal clear that you cannot defend your answer.
I have openly said that bullying is not part of manhood, didn't I? However, boys fighting IS part of that manhood experience. Whether you or other women like that or not. It is the cold hard truth.
Get over yourself and stop the mansplaining. Men don't live in a vacuum. I have brothers. I have a husband. I have raised a son. I was the KoolAid mom where ALL the boys in the neighborhood hung out all summer. There is a very big difference between roughhousing and bullying. I knew the difference and I made damn sure that every kid who walked through my door understood the difference. I also told them to suck it up when one got hurt during roughhousing... but if I saw any bullying, they had to deal with me. I showed them what real bullying is, and then gave them the choice of who they were going to be.
I was able to make the distinctions, explain those distinctions, demonstrate those distinctions, and demand better. So don't blow me off because I'm a woman who doesn't understand the cold hard truth. If YOU cannot step up to the same plate, then I'm a better "man" than you are.
I see that you know the difference between bullying and roughhousing (a valuable male bonding experience). However, there are others here that do not make that distinction, and that is the target of my discussion points. There are valid times when two boys fighting needs to be left to happen, and monitored to ensure no serious harm is done. It is a teaching exercise in standing up for oneself, and a form of building respect for other males.
Nothing that I said has supported or condoned bullying here, nothing.
What I have said is that the radical feminist movement has systematically attempted to remove that part of a boy growing up since ALL violent behavior is seen as wrong. Even those that involve a boy fighting back against bullying. The alternative is to rely upon the government (i.e. school system) to defend yourself now. It does not reach personal responsibility and defending oneself (or even others) when confronted with a bully.
How is deepening the reliance upon others to defend you a positive experience when it is labeled "toxic"? The problem is the good is being thrown out with the bath water in this case. Which IMO is so wrong and damaging to a boy trying understand his place and how to handle himself when confronted with this type of abuse. Is a violent reaction the first solution, hell no. But it should be in the list of possibilities when it is justified (which is part of the mentoring done by an adult male role model).
Swinging the pendulum from one extreme to the pother is not a solution.
Karate is not a game. It is not a sport. It is not even a system of self-defense. Karate is half physical exercise and half spiritual. The karateist who has given the necessary years of exercise and meditation is a tranquil person. He is unafraid. He can even be calm in a burning building. Mas Oyama
Karate is, Not to hit someone, Neither to be defeated, But to avoid trouble. Konishi Yasuhiro
originally posted by: Boadicea
originally posted by: InTheLight
a reply to: Boadicea
Thank you!
Right back atcha!
originally posted by: InTheLight
originally posted by: Krakatoa
originally posted by: Boadicea
a reply to: Krakatoa
You still do not understand my point do you???
Did you notice the freaking question marks all over my reply to you??? How am I supposed to understand it if you refuse to explain it???
Unlike you, I am not and have not made any assumptions. I have asked you repeatedly to explain, clarify, distinguish, etc.
But when I ask a clear and direct question -- repeatedly -- and you refuse to answer that clear and direct question with a clear and direct answer, and ESPECIALLY when you slink to the depths of insulting me, then it is crystal clear that you cannot defend your answer.
I have openly said that bullying is not part of manhood, didn't I? However, boys fighting IS part of that manhood experience. Whether you or other women like that or not. It is the cold hard truth.
Get over yourself and stop the mansplaining. Men don't live in a vacuum. I have brothers. I have a husband. I have raised a son. I was the KoolAid mom where ALL the boys in the neighborhood hung out all summer. There is a very big difference between roughhousing and bullying. I knew the difference and I made damn sure that every kid who walked through my door understood the difference. I also told them to suck it up when one got hurt during roughhousing... but if I saw any bullying, they had to deal with me. I showed them what real bullying is, and then gave them the choice of who they were going to be.
I was able to make the distinctions, explain those distinctions, demonstrate those distinctions, and demand better. So don't blow me off because I'm a woman who doesn't understand the cold hard truth. If YOU cannot step up to the same plate, then I'm a better "man" than you are.
I see that you know the difference between bullying and roughhousing (a valuable male bonding experience). However, there are others here that do not make that distinction, and that is the target of my discussion points. There are valid times when two boys fighting needs to be left to happen, and monitored to ensure no serious harm is done. It is a teaching exercise in standing up for oneself, and a form of building respect for other males.
Nothing that I said has supported or condoned bullying here, nothing.
What I have said is that the radical feminist movement has systematically attempted to remove that part of a boy growing up since ALL violent behavior is seen as wrong. Even those that involve a boy fighting back against bullying. The alternative is to rely upon the government (i.e. school system) to defend yourself now. It does not reach personal responsibility and defending oneself (or even others) when confronted with a bully.
How is deepening the reliance upon others to defend you a positive experience when it is labeled "toxic"? The problem is the good is being thrown out with the bath water in this case. Which IMO is so wrong and damaging to a boy trying understand his place and how to handle himself when confronted with this type of abuse. Is a violent reaction the first solution, hell no. But it should be in the list of possibilities when it is justified (which is part of the mentoring done by an adult male role model).
Swinging the pendulum from one extreme to the pother is not a solution.
What lessons does the art of karate teach us? For one, self-control.
Karate is not a game. It is not a sport. It is not even a system of self-defense. Karate is half physical exercise and half spiritual. The karateist who has given the necessary years of exercise and meditation is a tranquil person. He is unafraid. He can even be calm in a burning building. Mas Oyama
originally posted by: Krakatoa
originally posted by: InTheLight
originally posted by: Krakatoa
originally posted by: Boadicea
a reply to: Krakatoa
You still do not understand my point do you???
Did you notice the freaking question marks all over my reply to you??? How am I supposed to understand it if you refuse to explain it???
Unlike you, I am not and have not made any assumptions. I have asked you repeatedly to explain, clarify, distinguish, etc.
But when I ask a clear and direct question -- repeatedly -- and you refuse to answer that clear and direct question with a clear and direct answer, and ESPECIALLY when you slink to the depths of insulting me, then it is crystal clear that you cannot defend your answer.
I have openly said that bullying is not part of manhood, didn't I? However, boys fighting IS part of that manhood experience. Whether you or other women like that or not. It is the cold hard truth.
Get over yourself and stop the mansplaining. Men don't live in a vacuum. I have brothers. I have a husband. I have raised a son. I was the KoolAid mom where ALL the boys in the neighborhood hung out all summer. There is a very big difference between roughhousing and bullying. I knew the difference and I made damn sure that every kid who walked through my door understood the difference. I also told them to suck it up when one got hurt during roughhousing... but if I saw any bullying, they had to deal with me. I showed them what real bullying is, and then gave them the choice of who they were going to be.
I was able to make the distinctions, explain those distinctions, demonstrate those distinctions, and demand better. So don't blow me off because I'm a woman who doesn't understand the cold hard truth. If YOU cannot step up to the same plate, then I'm a better "man" than you are.
I see that you know the difference between bullying and roughhousing (a valuable male bonding experience). However, there are others here that do not make that distinction, and that is the target of my discussion points. There are valid times when two boys fighting needs to be left to happen, and monitored to ensure no serious harm is done. It is a teaching exercise in standing up for oneself, and a form of building respect for other males.
Nothing that I said has supported or condoned bullying here, nothing.
What I have said is that the radical feminist movement has systematically attempted to remove that part of a boy growing up since ALL violent behavior is seen as wrong. Even those that involve a boy fighting back against bullying. The alternative is to rely upon the government (i.e. school system) to defend yourself now. It does not reach personal responsibility and defending oneself (or even others) when confronted with a bully.
How is deepening the reliance upon others to defend you a positive experience when it is labeled "toxic"? The problem is the good is being thrown out with the bath water in this case. Which IMO is so wrong and damaging to a boy trying understand his place and how to handle himself when confronted with this type of abuse. Is a violent reaction the first solution, hell no. But it should be in the list of possibilities when it is justified (which is part of the mentoring done by an adult male role model).
Swinging the pendulum from one extreme to the pother is not a solution.
What lessons does the art of karate teach us? For one, self-control.
Karate is not a game. It is not a sport. It is not even a system of self-defense. Karate is half physical exercise and half spiritual. The karateist who has given the necessary years of exercise and meditation is a tranquil person. He is unafraid. He can even be calm in a burning building. Mas Oyama
Non-sequitor?
It has nothing to do with being a man. Can it be used as a tool to help with self control, yes, of course. But, what is the underlying defense strategy taught? Is it all non-violent acts? All defensive,? No. It does teach tactics to incapacitate an attacker. That includes violent actions. But, you stated that violence was NEVER acceptable.
So, which is it for you?
See, you cannot advocate both based upon you definitive statement prior that it is never acceptable.
originally posted by: toms54
a reply to: Boadicea
"But whereas you are perceiving the commercial of painting all men in a bad light, I am not seeing that. I never saw the Gillette commercial as painting all men in a bad light, much less thinking that the commercials I referred to were painting all women or all married couples in that bad light. Even if they were, I know better than to think it possible to paint any individuals in any group in the same light -- good or bad.
Don't you think most people know -- simply by virtue of their own experience -- that not all men are abusers or bullies?"
Yeah, I got the point.
Where the women's movement is now I think is they're getting past telling women to be men and now they're telling men to be women.
originally posted by: NthOther
a reply to: InTheLight
Commando yes. Particularly on first dates.
Shave no. You?
originally posted by: InTheLight
originally posted by: Krakatoa
originally posted by: InTheLight
originally posted by: Krakatoa
originally posted by: Boadicea
a reply to: Krakatoa
You still do not understand my point do you???
Did you notice the freaking question marks all over my reply to you??? How am I supposed to understand it if you refuse to explain it???
Unlike you, I am not and have not made any assumptions. I have asked you repeatedly to explain, clarify, distinguish, etc.
But when I ask a clear and direct question -- repeatedly -- and you refuse to answer that clear and direct question with a clear and direct answer, and ESPECIALLY when you slink to the depths of insulting me, then it is crystal clear that you cannot defend your answer.
I have openly said that bullying is not part of manhood, didn't I? However, boys fighting IS part of that manhood experience. Whether you or other women like that or not. It is the cold hard truth.
Get over yourself and stop the mansplaining. Men don't live in a vacuum. I have brothers. I have a husband. I have raised a son. I was the KoolAid mom where ALL the boys in the neighborhood hung out all summer. There is a very big difference between roughhousing and bullying. I knew the difference and I made damn sure that every kid who walked through my door understood the difference. I also told them to suck it up when one got hurt during roughhousing... but if I saw any bullying, they had to deal with me. I showed them what real bullying is, and then gave them the choice of who they were going to be.
I was able to make the distinctions, explain those distinctions, demonstrate those distinctions, and demand better. So don't blow me off because I'm a woman who doesn't understand the cold hard truth. If YOU cannot step up to the same plate, then I'm a better "man" than you are.
I see that you know the difference between bullying and roughhousing (a valuable male bonding experience). However, there are others here that do not make that distinction, and that is the target of my discussion points. There are valid times when two boys fighting needs to be left to happen, and monitored to ensure no serious harm is done. It is a teaching exercise in standing up for oneself, and a form of building respect for other males.
Nothing that I said has supported or condoned bullying here, nothing.
What I have said is that the radical feminist movement has systematically attempted to remove that part of a boy growing up since ALL violent behavior is seen as wrong. Even those that involve a boy fighting back against bullying. The alternative is to rely upon the government (i.e. school system) to defend yourself now. It does not reach personal responsibility and defending oneself (or even others) when confronted with a bully.
How is deepening the reliance upon others to defend you a positive experience when it is labeled "toxic"? The problem is the good is being thrown out with the bath water in this case. Which IMO is so wrong and damaging to a boy trying understand his place and how to handle himself when confronted with this type of abuse. Is a violent reaction the first solution, hell no. But it should be in the list of possibilities when it is justified (which is part of the mentoring done by an adult male role model).
Swinging the pendulum from one extreme to the pother is not a solution.
What lessons does the art of karate teach us? For one, self-control.
Karate is not a game. It is not a sport. It is not even a system of self-defense. Karate is half physical exercise and half spiritual. The karateist who has given the necessary years of exercise and meditation is a tranquil person. He is unafraid. He can even be calm in a burning building. Mas Oyama
Non-sequitor?
It has nothing to do with being a man. Can it be used as a tool to help with self control, yes, of course. But, what is the underlying defense strategy taught? Is it all non-violent acts? All defensive,? No. It does teach tactics to incapacitate an attacker. That includes violent actions. But, you stated that violence was NEVER acceptable.
So, which is it for you?
See, you cannot advocate both based upon you definitive statement prior that it is never acceptable.
You are twisting again. I didn't say that, I said my husband, my son and I agreed that bullying is not acceptable.
You still do not understand my point do you???
I have openly said that bullying is not part of manhood, didn't I?
However, boys fighting IS part of that manhood experience. Whether you or other women like that or not. It is the cold hard truth.
And the cold hard truth is that that type of behaviour is not acceptable and should be stopped - the same when girls fight, which they do too.