So now flirting or asking a girl out is sexual harassment

originally posted by: Kali74
I can't believe it's 2017 and people still need an explanation of what sexual harrassment is and why it's wrong. Bill O'Reilly was not simply asking women out, Hannity if what his accuser is saying is true, was not simply asking her out. They were being pigs.

There's a way to flirt either romantically or sexually without being disgusting and this goes for all people because some men don't like to be told what a woman wants to do to him in explicit terms either. If you aren't into someone and they make lewd gestures or conversation with you it's gross and awkward. If you make it out to be like their job depends on whether they go out with you or have sex with you, that is sexual harassment.

You guys (addressing the straight men in the thread who are butthurt) need to imagine that you work for someone that looks like Hillary Clinton and she keeps grabbing your crotch and telling you how ready she is for you. Gross right? Not something you want to deal with when you're just trying to earn a living, right?

And OP... you mentioned cat calling. Has that honestly ever worked for you? Cat calling has only ever made me think 'ew'.

please explain what Hannity did that was so upsetting to you. I missed where he grabbed a crotch. Please point that out.

a reply to: Hecate666

Beautiful words that I agree with wholeheartedly - why should women have to put up with crap - BTW I'm a male...married...even when I was single harassing women was never entered my thinking

a reply to: tribal

Historival comtext doesnt wotk for me. Im not them...im me.


"Historical context" is a pass for bigotry against white males

originally posted by: TheConstruKctionofLight
a reply to: HeathenJessie

She didn't mean any real harm and nothing was said about it again, but thinking about it later I started to worry about being left alone in a bedroom with female members of staff.

You handled that well...heavens knows that it could have backfired by her claiming sexual harassment because you refused her advances

When I left school one of my friends rejected a girl and was later arrested when she made a false rape allegation. In light of evidence that was produced he was found not guilty.

Despite that, he was still called rapist, mud sticks. Some idiot took it upon himself to deal with this supposed rapist and tried to stab my friend down at the locak shops one weekend. My mate got away.

He hanged himself that night.

a reply to: Tempter

The Clinton foundation I read it somewhere last week they are going to attack everyone they can and they have the $$$$$$$$$$$$ to buy what they need or kill you if needed.

a reply to: xstealth

You would think after the 3rd or 4th time the "no" message would sink in.

a reply to: xstealth

And it should be that way...and NOT what and how the man EXPECTS her to interpret or react.

Thas why whistling at or cat-calling "WOOO! Hey baby!"...out to women walking down the street can be taken both ways. One woman may be flattered...then another may feel harassed.

In O'reilly and Hannity's case..and what Trump said on that bus (and Im not passing judgement)...all thought what they did and said and implied...was perfectly ok...whereas the women took these things to mean exactly the opposite, and personally felt threatened or otherwise.

Im glad I went to Parochial school...where the nuns and priests instilled the need and reasoning for a certain level of respectfulness to women, young ladies and girls. And I still hold doors open and use "miss", "ma'am" and "madam".

a reply to: enlightenedservant

Technically, yes. Flirting at the workplace is actually a part of the definition of "sexual harassment". That's why most workplaces explicitly say not to do it.

The problem there is the lack of a good definition for "flirting." For instance?

If I ask a woman to have sex with me, is it flirting?
If I press a woman for her phone number, is it flirting?
If I need a woman's phone number for business purposes, is it flirting?
If I invite a woman to my home, is it flirting?
If I offer to carpool with a woman, is it flirting?
If I tell a sexual joke to a woman, is it flirting?
If I tell a lewd joke to a guy and a woman hears it, is it flirting?
If I tell a lewd joke to a guy and no one else hears it, is it flirting?
If I read a magazine at lunch and it has an ad with bikinis, is it flirting?
If I whistle at a woman, is it flirting?
If I tell a woman she's sexy, is it flirting?
If I tell a woman she's pretty, is it flirting?
If I tell a woman "hello," is it flirting?
If I talk to a woman, is it flirting?
If I look at a woman, is it flirting?
If I exist within sight or sound of a woman, is it flirting?

I could go on, but the point is there's a line in those questions. Where that line is depends on who's answering. What is flirting for one woman is not for another, and last I looked, women don't come with an instruction manual. What one man may think is flirting, another may see as polite. There's no stamp on men's foreheads to give this type of information. So apparently, not being able to read minds is sexual harassment... let's just call it what it is.

Did it ever to occur to you that going to work isn't the same thing as going to a club/bar/party? How about people work while at work and leave the flirting for another time?

Did it ever occur to you that humans are not machines? I have yet to work anywhere that small talk didn't occur. You yourself admitted in the line I didn't quote that you had personally dated a co-worker.

Would it surprise you to know that I have personally turned down women for positions because they were women? I have, because I didn't want the liability that came with having women and men together in the workplace. You want to see what's holding up that 'glass ceiling' we hear about? I just showed you the real reason, and it has nothing to do with men. The part I hate is that it is a small percentage of women who cause this, but all of them pay the price. Which is probably why the women I know say openly that they despise feminism and feminists.

So yeah, let's decree that all men are legally subject to prosecution at any time for any reason because they are men, then let's talk about how all men are sociopaths because they try to legally protect themselves by separating themselves from women. That's a great idea!

No, this is not about sexual harassment... it's about revenge of a select few women toward men, because they can.

TheRedneck

I think some people are happy to claim harrassment.

If you're harrassed you should be upset or angry...the personal accounts I related in this thread didn't anger me. Some might have taken them as a form of harrassment, I suppose they were...but there was no need for me to be a dick about it.

People choose to be dicks about things because they want to. We all know that most people are flattered, even when they get upptiy and on their high horse, they just want to make a drama out of it because it excites them or makes them feel important.

I often think that some folk only cause a fuss because ot enough people were there to witness them receive a compliment, they want everyone to know Mr X or whatever has a crush on them, but Mr X wasn't so blatant and there wasn't a big enough audience when Mr X made his lewd comment or compliment...so Miss Y or whatever wants to should it from the rooftops...but Miss Y or whoever knows, for the most part, that it's not cool to be overtly full of yourself.

So they fake outrage so that they can be sure everyone knows that someone, somewhere - thinks they're hot.

It's pathetic...if someone don't touch you or threaten you...then get over yourself. Take it on the chin ffs, compliments and sexually aggressive, suggestive remarks don't mean squat unless you turn it into something.

Like the one I told about that housekeeping supervisor - I was as much to blame for how that ended. I encouraged her when it was all banter, but when it started to get more real was when I realised things could potentially get more serious.

She wasn't entirely to blame...I shouldn't have taken part in the banter and encouraged her. Nobody was wrong, she thought there was more to it than me and she tried to take things a step further.

Luckily for me she was decent about it and realised I was uncomfortable. Needless to say our relationship completely changed that day and the banter stopped. Nothing was said, nothing had to be said. If she continued to act like that things might have been different, no point causing a stink over it, though. Nobody was harmed, it was just awkward.

Some people need to get off their high horse and grow a pair.

a reply to: mysterioustranger

And I still hold doors open and use "miss", "ma'am" and "madam".

Some women actually would call that sexual harassment. No lie. I have been 'schooled' on being sexist and insulting for holding a door open for my date, by my date, many years ago.

I apologized, closed the door, stepped back, let her go in, went back to my car, and drove home. Date over.

TheRedneck

To me this "issue" is really simple.

The workplace is not the place for it.

When "flirting" involves one person with the power over another, and or is repeat and unwanted, it is not "flirting". It is sexual harassment. If left unchecked, it grows into bigger problems that can involve more than two people, and even ruin the organization.

It is something many people can't seem to get through their skulls, so ultimately, I feel no pity for them when the only way they understand "STOP" or "nope" is via civil lawsuit. It ain't worth the risk.

Couldn't have happened to a nicer pair of schmucks, though. Neither O' Reilly nor Hannity are very bright, so them being this brazen and stupid is no surprise.

But I seriously don't think anything is going to happen to them, and they will continue stinking up the airwaves as before. This is, after all, Fox news, and this is Trump's America.

The only way they will bite it and get dropped is if enough sponsors drop them. Money still talks, just like B.S. still walks.

Why?

How many people met their wife or husband at work?

So if you're working and you meet someone who you click with...who you really like, you should just forget about them?

You can't ask them out? Nobody is expecting we should go and have sex in a cupboard, but there has to be some opening. So if you're at work and you meet someone and they're clearly attracted to you and you to them, you should suppress that.

And forget about them, hope that maybe one day you'll bump into them outside of work and then you might ask them out on a date...

That's pathetic.

How many peoples mother and father met at work? Probably quite a lot.

a reply to: Taggart

Don't dip your pen in company ink.

Has been a mantra for many years.

If you have power where you work. Like you're a boss or have say over who can or cannot come on your show. Then you probably shouldn't be asking that person out.

It's a bit unethical.

originally posted by: Taggart

originally posted by: xstealth
I feel bad for you single guys.

If you ask a girl out or flirt with one you can lose your job over it, ask Bill O'Reily.

Now Sean Hannity is being accused.

Debbie Schlussel said the married primetime anchor invited her back to his hotel in Detroit after the pair met at a book signing. After the conservative commentator turned down the father-of-two's advances, she claims she wasn't invited back on his show. Read more: www.dailymail.co.uk... Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

So the direction this is going you guys will be sued for catcalling or flirting with a woman.

I'm not going to comment on the ethics of a married man flirting with a girl since this is unproven, I want to point out the direction these allegations are going.

In my opinion sexual harassment should only be recognized in extreme cases, not when a man tries to pick you up. That's what men do. (not me, im married faithfully (in case my wife is reading)(i'm being honest though))

Workplace is a place to work, not flirt and pull women.
It's been like that in a lot of workplaces since at least the 90's.
This isn't new, I'm sure it's been like that in a corporation like FOX for at least that long too.
Employers also try stop that practice so if the two employees fall out it doesn't carry on in to the workplace.

According to studies most marriages the couple meet either in college or at work. Most work places have the rule you cant be a supervisor over someone you're dating. This situation with him is actually similar to how the wife and i met. I was a college professor hired by her law firm to go over a case. It was about science involving force and i had to teach a class in court. She asked me out at a pre trial meeting.

So you're on your deathbed, and your friend is there comforting you and he asks you...

Best friend: Why did you never marry? Did you never meet the right person?

You: Well, I think I did, yes. She was amazing, but I never asked her out...

Best friend: Why?

You: Because we were at work and I didn't want to get in trouble.

Best friend: You're an idiot.

originally posted by: grey580
a reply to: Taggart

Don't dip your pen in company ink.

Has been a mantra for many years.

If you have power where you work. Like you're a boss or have say over who can or cannot come on your show. Then you probably shouldn't be asking that person out.

It's a bit unethical.

You know the problem with that saying?

It assumes that employees...physical, living beings...belong to the company. The company ink?

That's an absurd and degrading way to think of your colleagues...the company ink. That's more disgusting than any lewd or sexual comment if you ask me.

What about a lunch break...are we allowed to ask someone out over a lunch break? Jeez...what kind of world are we actually trying to create, here?

Seriously...wtf is wrong with people? Get a life for crying out loud...lighten up.

Have the rod surgically removed from your backside and live, be a human being.

I suppose the best thing to do if you fancy someone at work would be...

Wait until nobody is around, the office or whatever is empty...or even better, break in at night when nobody is around.

Open a filing cabinet or whatever which contains employee records and lookup the address and other personal information of the person you fancy.

Go to their house, or be sure to simply 'bump into them' quite by chance...yeah, do some research, loser!

You might aswell buy some night vision goggles, some duct tape and a ball-peen hammer while you're about it, yeeeah!

That's far better than simply being honest and casually saying...you know, I quite like you - fancy a drink some time?

a reply to: xstealth

Do you want to know what is even MORE concerning than the ever-expanding definition of sexual harassment? The way in which studies like the "1 in 4 women" statistic are derived and then widely promoted as factually accurate. Have a look at the METHODS of how these statistics are calculated. Hint: Rape, Sexual Assault and Sexual Harassment are not very well distinguished from one another.

That's right, telling a joke that is sexual in nature is not too far off from jumping out from behind a bush while wearing a hockey mask, and forcibly having your way with a random female!

Who cares, right? It's all misogynistic behaviour, why bother separating them?

a reply to: Wardaddy454

I saw that and have to believe it.

The hard leftist is creating this false perception, I honestly think it'll back fire in them. As the article cited, they tried to pull this crap on Rush L, but he actually fought back and it was revealed that it was all BS.

Hannity WILL fight this and I hope it creates a new front in response to these leftist terrorist who go to grest lenghts to get conservstive host fired under false allegations.