I'll Never Get Past My Depression, Will I

reply to post by smyleegrl


ITS spring for crying out loud, do you know the magic that earth gives us during spring and summer?
I feel a little bad for you saying this, you always seem like a compassionate but at the same time strong person. I can say that you are not the only one that feels depressed, ALOT of people are depressed including old people who should be the last ones to feel that way but they still suffer from inside. Kids get

I think that your depression stands in the same as everyone elses feelings. The feeling that you get when you feel helpless. When you feel that you just cant do nothing but just sit and cry.

All i can suggest to you is that maybe its time you do something for yourself. And not just materialistically but mentally aswell. Like for example get off the internet and stop reading articles about corruption, war, discrimination, all that negative Crap because its not about ignoring the problem its about not letting it affect you. We all know how reality is and the problems of this world and we wish for it to all just go away but it wont yet we forget about the valuable time and precious moments we have in our life, we forget about what we can make of ourselves in this life. We just think think and think but not DO.
So go ahead and let yourself fly Let yourself glow as bright as the sun and stop believing that negative nonsense in your head ( WE ALL HAVE THOSE THOUGHTS) dont say "oh i cant do what i want because i have duty with my son, husband ect ect" that is negative although they seem positive SO STOP BEING FOOLED BY YOUR HEAD everything takes time. Just remember "ROME WASN'T BUILT IN A DAY", there is a reason why this quote still exist in our lifetime because its still needed by many to remember what influences us, so what influences you? what use to influence you? take all the positive influence and let SHINE.

And when danger arrives at your door you face it, and after you defeat it you get back on your feet and keep on doing what you were doing. Nothing is holding you back except yourself. If you feel that you dont have time because you have other responsibilities then make time find another way around or simply just find something else to do while you await your chance and when you see that chance you take it because by that moment you will know what really matters

SO FOR NOW JUST FLY WITH THE BIRDS ON A BEAUTIFUL SUNNY DAY!

Originally posted by zilebeliveunknown
reply to post by smyleegrl

 

Here's an article describing new study of depression which reveals that we got it all wrong, and why your therapy doesn't work.
Depression stems from miscommunication between brain cells
It would be great for you to get off from those chemicals, but considering how long you've been taking them it would be hard but achievable goal for strong person like you.
Good luck to you and your family.

Great find, zile!

Smylee, read that article!

Try walking (at a nice place) I usually wake up really early (even my cats still sleeping) and go to this trail with a lake and walk my ass off. I do this almost every morning.

After you walk a few miles you usually feel good and ready for a snack.

Then face the rest of the day/night.

If you sit around thinking to much you get "those thoughts" so try and get out as soon as you wake up.

When my wife died. I had to do this or else I'd have gone crazy nuts! Sure, I get down often still but, its usually when I sit around and think about it.

You just got to keep moving.

I could go on but I'm not.

Good luck and remember there is a bunch of hope out there you just got to go get it!

I am sorry to read you are feeling this way.

I would hazard a guess that the majority of ATSers have dealt with the Black Dog at some stage or another. I know I have, but not to the extent you are experiencing.

I cannot offer solutions unfortunately, but really wish I could. All I can offer is empathy and hope that you get through this period in your life soon.

Take care.

reply to post by smyleegrl


You should not be on websites like this then. Don't pay attention to MSM (main stream media) either. In fact, don't pay attention to anything that's happening in the US or the world for that matter. All of these things will make you severely depressed. Go light one up, turn on some Animal Planet. Do that for about a week and you will probably feel better.

Sorry to hear you're suffering from this ailment.

It's a difficult one to deal with, and hard for people who don't have experience with depression to understand.

I hope you start to feel better real soon. I know it may not be the right tune, but I like it anyways.

reply to post by smyleegrl


Hi Smyleegrl

Sorry to read your post. I was diagnosed with recurrent depression, so can empathise.

As other people have said, it goes and we recover. Some of us seem to have the unwanted ability (at least as far as I am concerned) to plumb inner depths within ourselves we wish we couldn't access. Why some of us find such sadness within I don't know.

After going through the usual medical channels and finding my anti depressants weren't really helping, I went onto alternative health advice and after trial and error,have found that by doing things I hadn't made time for, for years this has helped me literally ground myself again and not feel so detached and sad. I started with gardening and the smaller quieter things like craft, reading books on things I was interested in and slowly I have pulled myself out.

I believe everyone has a different means of nurturing that sad inner self when it manifests and tries to take us over and if one can find what it is that nurtures that sadness one can re-claim oneself. I wish you well.

reply to post by smyleegrl

Smylee,you learn to live with it.I was on anti-depressants for 13 years-and except for the 1st year,they did;nt do me one bit of good.

Because my depression was a natural consequence of various factors-being an unloved abused child,having a hard life,being a very sensitive empath-and maybe just being prone to it due to a genetic cause.

I know how you feel,and then comes the guilt:For being depressed when there is Nothing in my life to Be depressed about.But we do not ask for this(and from your posts in the past month or so,i've gathered that you've been under a lot of stress)
You are a strong,strong person,though,that i can tell-you are formidable,even if you don't know it.

i wish i could help more,but in the end the best advice i can give you-accept that you will suffer depression sometimes,and that it will manifest in various ways.I say this because i truely Know and understand,whether you believe me or not.

A better day Always comes,strength and fortitude Always returns-please hang in there.I will be lighting a white candle for you every day,for peace,and send an intention of strength and good humour your way-because i can empathise.
Bless you,and your lovely family.

reply to post by smyleegrl


I'm sure you have already covered this off, as it seems you have suffered for quite some time.

Have you checked for underlying health conditions, namely hormonal? When did you last have your thyroid tested?

I only ask because, sometimes there is a more fundamental solution, which if resolved/managed can allow the drugs to work more effectively.

Pass that point I have no idea, perhaps its time to take stock of your life and see what's working for you and what isn't, the medication can only do so much, sometimes an honest appraisal of your life in general, how each area of your life makes you feel, what could be done to improve how you feel about it, is what is required.

Because no drug in the world can fix a circumstance, it can only tool you up with the strength to address it.

Hope you find a solution, to attract a more positive outlook.

reply to post by smyleegrl

No one here has done it yet, so I'm going to.
I am giving you tough love whether you like it or not.
Probably so tough, at first you'll get mad hearing about it.
But that's my intention.
To make you feel emotion.

Firstly, get off your meds. Find a way, and get off the drugs a.s.a.p.
Secondly...open your eyes and realize what you have that most don't!
You have a family, amazing talent and a gift for understanding!
You are an amazing person that is kind, caring and giving.
Why on Earth would you be sad? How else is your life "unfulfilled?"
Don't answer that. Get over it! Build up strength!
Do you wake up everyday and breathe on your own?
Are you able to walk, talk and listen?
Are you dying?
If you can answer those positively, that's alot.

You know alot of people can't walk on their own.
They can't hear the beautiful sounds we can.
They can't even talk about how they feel because they are mute.

I've dealt with these kinds of people.
They have true reasons to be sad....yet they are not.

I say, open your eyes to the wonderful world around you.
You have absolutely nothing to be depressed about!
Good God get off those medicines!
They are not helping.

I know how you feel,and then comes the guilt:For being depressed when there is Nothing in my life to Be depressed about.But we do not ask for this(and from your posts in the past month or so,i've gathered that you've been under a lot of stress)
You are a strong,strong person,though,that i can tell-you are formidable,even if you don't know it.

i wish i could help more,but in the end the best advice i can give you-accept that you will suffer depression sometimes,and that it will manifest in various ways.I say this because i truely Know and understand,whether you believe me or not.

A better day Always comes,strength and fortitude Always returns-please hang in there.I will be lighting a white candle for you every day,for peace,and send an intention of strength and good humour your way-because i can empathise.

reply to post by Raxoxane


This. You do get it. You do.

I get flashbacks to my rape all the time. Stupid things, like the sound of a bird calling or a certain scent. Then bam I'm right back in the middle of things fighting and hurting and fighting.

Then there's the shame, don't tell. My husband knows he understands but even though I've lived with this for over 20 years I still feel it. It's in my essence and it eats at my soul.

I'm angry too. Angry at that SOB and angry at myself because I'm not stronger. I shouldn't feel like this, I survived and life goes on. I've got so many blessings and I'm pissing them away feeling sorry for myself.

Thank you for getting it. Tank you all for getting it. Tomorrow I'll be strong again, I'll go to work and smile and make corny jokes and never let anyone see that inside I'm seething.

And tomorrow after school I think I will go for a swim or a hike. I'll do something physically demanding, and I'll do it alone. Take some time to wrap my head around some things and think.

Originally posted by havok
reply to post by smyleegrl

 

Firstly, get off your meds. Find a way, and get off the drugs a.s.a.p.
Secondly...open your eyes and realize what you have that most don't!
You have a family, amazing talent and a gift for understanding!
You are an amazing person that is kind, caring and giving.
Why on Earth would you be sad? How else is your life "unfulfilled?"

It's called depression. Not ungrateful-moron-syndrome.

I used to have persons say this type of thing to me when I was depressed, and all it did was make me feel like more of a jerk for not being happy that I wasn't a starving child in Africa, or a homeless kid.

Depression is more of a war than a battle. It's a training thing, at least it was for me. It's a series of little battles and constantly trying because I suspect your brain doesn't change overnight. You can't just 'realize' you're happy, you have to fight for it, learn news ways of thinking etc ... I read a lot Buddhism and things like that, did a lot of self investigation, but it was years of slow change not twenty minutes of going ... 'oh thatss right, I have no reason to be unhappy ... the hell was I thinking?!'

Reason I don't have any actual advice is the road is different for everyone and they have to want to follow it. Being a victim isn't the correct answer for sure ... but OP isn't doing that!

G'luck and keep rawking, SG.

I heart your avatar. Should totally be your avatar.

So many have some sort of depression,.
Myself however,. nearly never,. and that could be
because I have a nutrient dense diet. One thing that is so
wrong about Anti-depression pills is,. it does nothing to cure
the depression Of which is only masking the problem rather than
curing it. Most of these drugs create a need for the drug,. and it will only
continue to get worse and require more meds to simulate calm and happy.

Many factors can contribute to someones unhappiness, but how we chose to
handle it can be as easy as diet. Depression is often a result in lack of chemical
balance.
The corporations which sell the food on the shelves that has a long shelve life have
placed many chemicals in the product to ensure a long life before spoilage,. if it would
spoil at all. These chemicals can remove many of the necessary vitamins your body
needs for simple things such as thought process,.though a company may say its
product is fortified with vitamins and minerals does not mean a thing, and the "fortified"
part of the product in a man made product,.natural sources are best assimilated.

Our "American" diet is crap,. saturated fats and empty calories mostly,.
Cereals,. nothing but sugar, milk,. more chemicals
fast foods,. all pre made loaded with flavor enhancers to keep you hungry for more
of the same crap,. addictive as cigarettes, with similar chemical makeup.
and most restaurants that are not fast food get their supplies from places like
Sysco,.much of the product is low quality and nutrient lacking.
Also companies like Con Agra and Kraft sell mostly GMO products,. all bad

Canned foods, processed meats, processed cheese,. ect, ect ect,. it is all junk
and can directly contribute to depression by lack of nutrition,. which the brain needs
for a normal processing.

My advice,.
Get off breads, pastas, crackers bascily anything with wheat in it.
Stop all unnatural sugar intake
Consume nothing with any artificial sweetners
Use a local honey,. something made by someone in your area that
is not from a big food company,. local bees only, Tablespoon a day
Unless you are allergic to nuts,. start eating a handful of mixed nuts
daily,. no peanuts and raw is preferred. Pecans, cashews,. walnuts
almonds, pistachios. as they contain many needed vitamins and minerals

Start eating healthy, lots of greens and other veggies,. fish( made at home from fresh not
breaded) if your not a vegetarian, grass fed beef,. free range chicken local
farmer preferred, Basically start cooking all your own foods.

Also drink lots of water,. no soda, HFC's and nutrasweets or any other artificial
additives to water do more harm than hydrate,.

Have your body PH tested,. You can get a test strip kit at a locale health food store
You should always be in a range of 6.0 to 7.5
if your body is in an acidic state too long the body degenerates.
Niacin is a key vitamin needed to mood stabilization,
Good luck,.You can cure yourself,. and it starts with researching the things
ive just written,.

Based on the quality of things you have posted to this site in the past -- you will be okay. You teach - so in terms of your son I am guessing you know that there are assistance programs out there that should help to defray certain costs related to his treatment. I recognize that they might not cover everything but just in case you did not know about those programs I wanted to mention them.
You have a good life. A husband, a son, a job for which you clearly show passion. You will be okay! I know that depression isn't as simple as "having a good life" but it doesn't hurt things to have one!
Most of the meds are more troublesome than they are worth (imho). If I were to keep only one I would be inclined to keep anxiety. This is both because anxiety is my own major issue and because both in myself and family members I have seen out of control anxiety run a person down. It seems that getting run down by anxiety causes a depressive episode. The meds on the other hand, if the anxiety has faded, can mimic depressive symptoms so it is a balancing act.
I don't have a final answer for you. I suspect that nobody really does. Eat well. Move. Listen to music, sing, and dance. Make a list of stuff to accomplish and assign each thing a day. Don't put too much on that list -- but don't leave it empty either.
Get a pedicure.
Pedicures are magic.

Feel better soon,

Watcher

reply to post by havok


And I havok, find n necessary to post a reply to you.

Do you suffer from depression?

If so, and you are dealing with it without meds, you are truly lucky, but probably a completely miserable person.
Describing depression by someone who suffers it to someone that doesn't Is like describing color to someone who has been blind since birth,.
To properly treat it, often meds in conjunction with talk therapy work best,

If you don't suffer from depression, please ST*U

Also,.
find a fluoride free toothpaste and stop using and mouthwashes,.
research "health hazards of fluoride"
also if you have any Mercury (amalgam) fillings in your teeth,.have them removed
by a dentist that specializes in this,. research Health hazards of amalgam fillings.

reply to post by Lil Drummerboy


Hey man. when your depressed you don't have time to do all that crap Jeeze!! It would drive me nuts!! trying that diet

I say, just get out there and go a walking or hiking etc.. get some good out doors often.. and if you want head over to Taco bell and chow down.

If you keep active you can eat a bit of devils food now and then (and such)

Originally posted by RUFFREADY
reply to post by Lil Drummerboy

 

Hey man. when your depressed you don't have time to do all that crap Jeeze!! It would drive me nuts!! trying that diet

I say, just get out there and go a walking or hiking etc.. get some good out doors often.. and if you want head over to Taco bell and chow down.

If you keep active you can eat a bit of devils food now and then (and such)

Exercise is also very important,.Agreed,. I walk about 3 miles a day
and Taco bell isnt food

Before I got married I went on a very strict diet change. Ate only fresh foods, not canned, lean beef, chicken, fish. Lot more work but I felt a lot better.

Then got married, life happened, and I slacked off the healthy diet and exercise.

Adding Seroquel was the icing on the cake. It zapped all my energy AND added strong carb cravings. I gained weight. Even when I would try to eat healthier, the cravings were beyond me. This is one of the main reasons I want off the Seroquel. I figure if I can get rid of those inane carb cravings (a known side effect), that will help me drop weight. The more weight I drop, the easier physical activity becomes. The more physical I get, the more weight I lose and hopefully it all ends up a wonderful cycle of positiveness.

I should mention that I did not stop the Seroquel cold turkey. I had stepped down from my high dose to 100mg a day and was supposed to drop to 50mg for two weeks, then stop. Since one of those weeks was spent sick, I did call my doc and she agreed that I could just stop the Seroquel. So it was done on doctors care and advice.

reply to post by Cynic


Havoc was trying to make me angry enough to break past the apathy. It was a genuinely caring response, I believe. Sometimes the truth hurts. I thank havoc for that.


I also thank you for the understanding and compassion. It truly means a lot.

for you both.