I wanted to be in control of my happiness. My wish may have been granted so i will share it.

Originally posted by Manula
reply to post by lacrimaererum

 

Didn't quite get your point but hey my point is, love life no matter what happens, acknowledge that we can always find meaning and joy in life, live with passion and love but you must be able to let your sources of happiness go, otherwise you act like a junkie, obsessed and then in pain when the obsession object goes away.

Also don't let your emotions be controlled by circumstances you cant control otherwise you are emotional puppet, someone presses the button of rage and you go from joy to rage, learn to be aware and in control of them.

This are tools i like, like someone rightfully said, if they don't work for you, fine, walk your path, i walk mine, each path is unique.

You've said some very good things in this thread.
It's all very nice but just not realistic to all.

How is one supposed to be happy when for example, all sources of happiness are gone all in one shot?
This can and does happen.

Yes one should always try to look on the bright side, at least on minor things, because things can be worse, but when things are worse, there is no bright side, only darkness. It's harder to find your way in the dark.

I will work on the rage joy button technique you mentioned in this quote.
That is one thing I need to learn. I try it but never get very far with it. Then I'm disappointed with myself for reacting.
If you have any more words if wisdom on that it would be appreciated. I'm sure other emotional puppets would find it useful.

reply to post by qvision


How else would you play the flute, than blowing in on side, while moving fingers on the outside?


and since we are at monthy python:

Some things in life are bad They can really make you mad Other things just make you swear and curse. When you're chewing on life's gristle Don't grumble, give a whistle And this'll help things turn out for the best... And...always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the light side of life... If life seems jolly rotten There's something you've forgotten And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing. When you're feeling in the dumps Don't be silly chumps Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing. And...always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the light side of life... For life is quite absurd And death's the final word You must always face the curtain with a bow. Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow. So always look on the bright side of death Just before you draw your terminal breath Life's a piece of # When you look at it Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true. You'll see it's all a show Keep 'em laughing as you go Just remember that the last laugh is on you. And always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the right side of life... (Come on guys, cheer up!) Always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the bright side of life... (Worse things happen at sea, you know.) Always look on the bright side of life... (I mean - what have you got to lose?) (You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing. What have you lost? Nothing!) Always look on the right side of life...

Those who seek pleasure, are only inviting sorrow.

reply to post by violet


As for emotions management i was an emotional puppet all my life until i started getting wiser.
I realized that no matter what happens you can always have a chat with yourself and control your emotions/energy.

Remember this wise words from Roosevelt: "The only thing you have to fear is fear itself"

I think it means that the problem isnt what happens, the problem is how we feel about it, and our feeling are our responsibility, noone is in charge but us.

You can be cool under pressure, you can be calm before the storm, but you need to be aware of your emotions and say to yourself, you are the boss of your feelings, not other people, not forces you cant control.

Emotional power, is this a good name? Maybe, but we can have it, we must be aware of that power and then train it everyday.

The martial arts masters do it, they can defend themselves with cool and controlled emotions, they are in control because they learn it, they know that's important, they know they can learn to be in charge of emotions, so they train it.

We can do it too.

Pain can be imposed, suffering is optional. Why? Because we can manage how we feel about things of life, we can be in charge of our emotions.

Do you want proof? I am sure there was one day that rage went sky rocket and then you said to yourself: let it go, its time to calm down, forget it, and you actively managed your way into good emotions again.

Everybody does this, the thing is, we can do it in every circumstances, there is no emotion that we cant control or manage: fear, hate, desperation, jealousy, all emotions are manageable, we can be in control of our emotions, but we have to train it everyday, it doesn't happen overnight, we keep getting better and better, and then one day we look to the past and we realize we changed, we are calm now, we learned to stay cool, joyful and peaceful.

We have to keep going, awareness and strong will, we can change.

reply to post by Manula

Pain can be imposed, suffering is optional. Why? Because we can manage how we feel about things of life, we can be in charge of our emotions.

While I agree with much of your message, I think that to a degree we feel emotions, and let them work themselves though, and we can help in that process.

A parent who has just witnessed their child get killed by a car while running into the road, cannot stop that pain, and the emotions associated with it as easily as you may suggest. They can choose to work through them, until they no longer dominate the feelings , but to suggest you can simply "choose " how to feel by turning some things off , and not allowing them, is not conducive to allowing a healthy grieving process.

reply to post by WhisperingWinds


As i said, emotions arise but after they come in, we have power over them.

That parent may allow himself to feel it all and then one day he decides its enough, life must go on, his son would want him to be happy... And he actively manages his emotions from pain and desperation to acceptance and joy for being alive. His son is still alive, only the body died, the soul is eternal. He know he will see him again...

This emotional management challenges your way you think about life but every situation is manageable.

Thoughts and ideas are the tool that allows us to have emotional power.

Everything we do has a prize or a penalty that comes with a good or bad emotion, we use thoughts and ideas to avoid the penalty and get the prize, emotions are the end result of our thoughts, so emotional management means that we use our thoughts to claim control of our feelings.

We can allow ourselves to feel everything but never really loosing control.

reply to post by Kluute


That is not true, IMO, because you can enjoy pleasure without being addicted and if the object of pleasure goes away, you still enjoy life.

Moderation is key, you can feel a great passion as long as you can end the passion at your own will.

Use it but don't get addicted to it, don't be a junkie or you will loose control, you will be controlled by your addiction.

You only truly enjoy something if you are not afraid to loose it.

Enjoy it if you can live well without it.

Am i talking about drugs? It seems like it, doesn't it?

reply to post by Manula


Thank u so much for posting this. Not to sound corny, but I read this post this morning at the perfect time I am struggling in my life right now with so many different things and this post just put it all into perspective thank you so much you have truly helped thank you

reply to post by tluna1


I am really glad i helped but i am just serving as a channel. Someone passed me this knowledge too, i asked and i received, and i was grateful

Many Buddhist authors talk about this. in astrology they talk about this concepts too.

reply to post by Manula


Captain Obvious

reply to post by votan


Obvious? I am glad it is obvious to you, i am sure you agree it is not obvious to a lot of people.

Originally posted by Manula
reply to post by violet

 

As for emotions management i was an emotional puppet all my life until i started getting wiser.
I realized that no matter what happens you can always have a chat with yourself and control your emotions/energy.

Remember this wise words from Roosevelt: "The only thing you have to fear is fear itself"

I think it means that the problem isnt what happens, the problem is how we feel about it, and our feeling are our responsibility, noone is in charge but us.

You can be cool under pressure, you can be calm before the storm, but you need to be aware of your emotions and say to yourself, you are the boss of your feelings, not other people, not forces you cant control.

Emotional power, is this a good name? Maybe, but we can have it, we must be aware of that power and then train it everyday.

The martial arts masters do it, they can defend themselves with cool and controlled emotions, they are in control because they learn it, they know that's important, they know they can learn to be in charge of emotions, so they train it.

We can do it too.

Pain can be imposed, suffering is optional. Why? Because we can manage how we feel about things of life, we can be in charge of our emotions.

Do you want proof? I am sure there was one day that rage went sky rocket and then you said to yourself: let it go, its time to calm down, forget it, and you actively managed your way into good emotions again.

Everybody does this, the thing is, we can do it in every circumstances, there is no emotion that we cant control or manage: fear, hate, desperation, jealousy, all emotions are manageable, we can be in control of our emotions, but we have to train it everyday, it doesn't happen overnight, we keep getting better and better, and then one day we look to the past and we realize we changed, we are calm now, we learned to stay cool, joyful and peaceful.

We have to keep going, awareness and strong will, we can change.

There are some great insights in your post. Things I can relate to.

I think what we fail to see sometimes, is that emotions and their intensity is extremly reactive to chemical turmoil in the brain and body.

Can one contol his hormones or a plethera of other complex chemical combinations taking place throughout his life? To some extent, yes. In a real sense of being human there is no peace from the internal conflicts of the pysiological process.

Combine this with various family and social cultures, even the stresses of economics and the general environment, and what we have is a constant struggle for sanity.

Control is a wonderful ideal, but in the context of such challenges there is no black and white formula for happiness and peace.

For me at least, I can say that there are moments when I feel somewhat painless, less stressed or just okay.

I think that positive energy can be channeled in creative ways that might help. Nevertheless the meaning of life is always sought and never fully realized in our limited reality.

All we can do is expand our understanding of self through the diversity of our world and the universe as much as the finite mind can imagine.

We live in a surealistice sphere filled with human filters and institutional influences seeking to undermind the sovereignty of thought in as much as we are able to recognize and define it.

I see this as the real objective to happiness. Recognizing the internal and external forces that shape our perceptions is how we can discover who we are or gain a deeper sense of our being.

That's a life long endeavor, and a beginning.

I agree with the original post, that obsession and compulsion are huge factors distracting us from this process and very much a false cultural tradition. But it is just one small step in attempting to fathom the psuedo or created identity in order to shed it.

It is a cleansing process that strips us down to questioning our most cherished precepts and beleifs.

From that reference, there is a better opportunity to tap into a natural flow of energy. Something that science has no instrument to measure. It is something that fills the soul and is as tangible as a cool glass of water to quench the thirst.

Originally posted by AfterInfinity
reply to post by QueenofWeird

 

No, attachment is part of us because we have been taught to attach. If you tried hard enough, you could become detached from life itself. You wouldn't care whether you lived or died. But of course, you would have to want it first.

Jedi mind tricks.

edit on 12-7-2012 by AfterInfinity because: (no reason given)

I have no doubt that's possible, but that equals to me being dead while alive. I do agree with the OP but only selectively.

Originally posted by QueenofWeird

Originally posted by AfterInfinity
reply to post by QueenofWeird

 

No, attachment is part of us because we have been taught to attach. If you tried hard enough, you could become detached from life itself. You wouldn't care whether you lived or died. But of course, you would have to want it first.

Jedi mind tricks.

edit on 12-7-2012 by AfterInfinity because: (no reason given)

I have no doubt that's possible, but that equals to me being dead while alive. I do agree with the OP but only selectively.

I'm not sure what the poster is trying to convey in the term of 'detachment'.

Is it about being antisocial or something metaphorical, such as sheding the preconditions of cultural training

This is simple: whatever it is that makes you tick, live it with all your passion and enthusiasm but only if you can live well without it...

We should always be prepared for the end of whatever is feeding us, everything comes and goes, we must live well with changes, after and ending, something new will come.

It is in us all.
Be still and listen.

Originally posted by Manula
This is simple: whatever it is that makes you tick, live it with all your passion and enthusiasm but only if you can live well without it...

We should always be prepared for the end of whatever is feeding us, everything comes and goes, we must live well with changes, after and ending, something new will come.

edit on 13-7-2012 by Manula because: (no reason given)

edit on 13-7-2012 by Manula because: (no reason given)

edit on 13-7-2012 by Manula because: (no reason given)

Thats the delema. How does one invest a passion in something he/she is dependent upon for happiness, and yet have the discipline to do without it?

Not challenging your opinion, it just appears to be a contradiction in terms. My view is partially based an understanding of the complexity of the human thought paradigm and the emotional dependency we all have on one another.

If we were purely instinctual animals, perhaps there would fewer needs. Like it or not, humans are compelled to fulfill their intellectual and social needs through various forms of knowledge based technocracy.

Our tendency to seek out and use knowledge is a built in consequence of our nature as intelligent beings. Anything less amounts to a denial of sorts.

We haven't explored what contact with more advanced beings might implicate for the human condition.

I agree that our present state of existence is questionable, given the cesspool of a planet we've created. But our race is still in its infancy as far as what quantum laws may hold for our future.

There is much to consider and little time to accomplish.

Would this concept play into your philosphic logic or would you consider my point of reference outside of your considerations?

The sad reality today is that the mentally ill who once were confined to street corners and dark alleys have a forum on the world stage. Save society, bring down the internet.

reply to post by MissingRonnieR


lollololol I am sure you are a lonely person, who will want to listen to you?

reply to post by g2v12


I think you look around and people are what they are, normal behavior is heavily influenced by fashion and mass media trends, being human is like that but you have to remember that this planet is a planet of tests and learning. What is normal here is that people do it the wrong way, people live it the wrong way because this planet is supposed to challenge us. We start in darkness, being dumb and blind, and we get wiser as time goes by but the answers are not given we have to conquer them.

As for enjoying something you can live without, its not a contradiction.

Love it while it lasts, leave it when its gone but don't ever stop loving life unconditionally.

Society teaches us to be dependent, to be addicted, to be a fool, but we can wise up..