Advice for Married Men and Women

reply to post by IpsissimusMagus

7. If you're going to fight, always fight naked.

I will be implementing this rule at home.
Now I just have to figure out how to fit in baby oil into the rule.

Originally posted by grey580
reply to post by IpsissimusMagus

 

7. If you're going to fight, always fight naked.

I will be implementing this rule at home.
Now I just have to figure out how to fit in baby oil into the rule.

tell your spouse it eases the emotional friction

reply to post by IpsissimusMagus


..don't be honest!

Great advice everyone.

I'm wondering if anyone would like to give some more gender specific advice.

Like something women would like men to do more often or vice versa.

Maybe something that they think their partner should do less often.

Keep up the great posts.

reply to post by IpsissimusMagus


The only advice I have on this, after a divorce is. . .

Find someone that loves the person you are, be yourself when you meet people, and when you find someone that loves what you are. . . make sure you love them for what they are.

Oh and it helps to understand that love is a lot more than words. . .there has to be an equal if not more action.

Cheers!

reply to post by IpsissimusMagus


My advice, since I am a woman I think this maybe pertains more to woman but it can go either way, since it is just very good advice.

Don't worry about physical attraction (ie: is he or she 'hot') trust me, they aren't hot forever.

Worry about who they are, inside, and also what type of personality they are, ie: if they are a type A personality could you deal with that and do animals and children like them!

look at all potential mates like a resume, and see if they come with good references.

find out if you have some commonalities with them, is there at least one or two things you both can do together that you both enjoy. They do not have to have everything in common with you, but they do have to have something in common.

are your hopes and dreams in life similar to their own, or are they compatible hopes and dreams.

DO NOT ever make another human being your entire life. This is a relationship ender. Have your own life, and find someone you want to share that life with, who in turn would like to share theirs with you.

know who you are before even considering a relationship. This is very important, if you do not even know yourself how on earth can you choose the person who is right for you?



thats all for the advice column for today...this is O.B. Waters, reporting!

Originally posted by jough626

Find someone the COMPLETE opposite of you. Their weaknesses will play off your strenghts, your strenghts off their weakness. This goes for every aspect of the relationship.

Find out what your really good at, and find some who needs you for what you bring to the table.

Does that include sex?

Had to ask.

reply to post by Taupin Desciple


Thats another piece of freindly advice.

find out if they like sex and how much they like sex!

Originally posted by Char-Lee
reply to post by IpsissimusMagus

 

Wives, if your husband stinks in the sack...don't be honest!

Disagree with you there. I'd take it as constructive criticism because I know there's always room for improvement. Always.

Besides which, if she points out my faults ( Good luck with THAT one ), all I have to do is say "Point taken. You're right. Lets try that again.

Originally posted by IpsissimusMagus

Originally posted by duhPUNX
What about different religious views in a committed relationship. Like my girlfriend being a Christian and me being an atheist. And she always bringing up if I'm ever gonna convert or anything. What would you do?

Play this song over and over while she is sleeping

I don't know......that just feels wrong somehow.

Hell is where the interesting people are, right?

Originally posted by vkey08
Remember the old bit of advice...

Women are always right , even when they are wrong....

Seriously, to the person above me that said don't have kids and get divorced asap, that's not very nice.. I have children and they have made my life..... I love them with all my heart and soul and even though my husband is no longer around (he died) I still wouldn't have changed having them for all the money int he world.

Same here. I've got a son who has turned out to be a fine young man - in spite of my best efforts to fix that, whose mother died when he was 11. I wouldn't have missed out on any of that for all the gold on Earth.

Some of the best relationship advice I've ever gotten:



Always remember this: The fire that burns brightest and hottest burns itself out quickest, because it prodigiously consumes all the fuel it has to sustain it in one blaze of glory.

Then nothingness.

reply to post by grey580


From someone with a wonderful 25+ year marriage...

If you can define relationship in a trite sentence or two.

You aren't human, you're a greeting card.

Originally posted by PurpleChiten

Other people's actions don't determine who we are. We are determined by our reactions to them

That's a fact. Life is only 10% or so what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it and handle it. That applies as much to love as it does war, or any other field of human existence.

Originally posted by duhPUNX
What about different religious views in a committed relationship. Like my girlfriend being a Christian and me being an atheist. And she always bringing up if I'm ever gonna convert or anything. What would you do?

Depends on how badly it irks you. Might be a good idea to get out while the getting is good, or just handle it. Since she's a Christian, you can always point out where it says in the bible that "the husband sanctifieth the wife, and likewise the wife the husband" in reference to just such mixed relationships. Christians are not to badger their spouses about such things.

Of course, if she just comes right back with the "unequally yoked oxen" gambit, it might be best to pack and run - there's no hope if both aren't willing to make it work.

Originally posted by Treespeaker
reply to post by IpsissimusMagus

 

The only advice I have on this, after a divorce is. . .

Find someone that loves the person you are, be yourself when you meet people, and when you find someone that loves what you are. . . make sure you love them for what they are.

Oh and it helps to understand that love is a lot more than words. . .there has to be an equal if not more action.

Cheers!

edit on 9-7-2012 by Treespeaker because: (no reason given)

Sometimes it takes awhile to see what they really are , and if that is something that you don't want, don't try and change it, just hightail it outa there..

Actions do speak louder than words, but the perception of who took what action, and who didn't is what can get skewed. Some people are so wrapped up in themselves they don't see all the sacrifices someone else is making, and are blind to the many actions they failed to show.

This happens in marriages as well as after divorce, when trying to build another relationship.

The ol' she said he said story ..and everyone knows one or two of them.

But this is a thread about keeping relationships strong, and so the first step ..in many ways from both sides, would be to be very sure, that the person you intend to make a life long commitment to is someone that you really do like, and has more qualities that you admire, than ones that you just can't live with.

Honestly liking the person is a MUST ! ..and taking your time to make sure that this is a person you can be with for a long time is very important in making it last. How to make that exciting and refreshing, on a continuing basis is both the joy , as well as an effort at times.

As far as specific things a man or a woman can do,I think it depends on the individuals involved. One woman might love flowers, and the other would rather have a rose bush to plant , that will bloom every year, while another would rather find a hand written note stuck to the mirror in the morning telling her you think she is beautiful , even with morning hair, and puffy eyes.

Some women need communication, others need more hugs. Some women need some space, and others need more companionship.

Thoughtful gestures that show you are thinking of the her, and what she enjoys, as well as what gives her comfort are all ways of showing love, and strengthening that bond. A deadly "come hither" look , that says "daaayum you turn me on", doesn't hurt either !

All the best to those who are working on keeping their marriages or partnerships strong

reply to post by Taupin Desciple

Disagree with you there. I'd take it as constructive criticism because I know there's always room for improvement. Always.

Very well said, and I personally think a woman should guide a man to show him what she likes. They aren't fools, they can feel response, and I think they can be very "teachable".

The same can be said for a woman pleasing a man, but then again don't expect a great reception to," it would really turn me on if your best friend could join us as well". While that may work for some, most women I know don't respond well to that request.




Considering I've edited this post enough times to win an award for most edits, thought I'd throw in a few of my favorite realtionship type songs.

The first is about having faith in someone..



This second one is about the pain of love..

Originally posted by PurpleChiten

Originally posted by grey580
reply to post by IpsissimusMagus

 

7. If you're going to fight, always fight naked.

I will be implementing this rule at home.
Now I just have to figure out how to fit in baby oil into the rule.

tell your spouse it eases the emotional friction

and buy lots of polyethylene sheeting to protect the furniture.

Originally posted by OpinionatedB

DO NOT ever make another human being your entire life. This is a relationship ender. Have your own life, and find someone you want to share that life with, who in turn would like to share theirs with you.

That's a very good point - the instant someone does that, they make one of the two entirely irrelevant.

Originally posted by OpinionatedB
reply to post by Taupin Desciple

 

Thats another piece of freindly advice.

find out if they like sex and how much they like sex!

Better do a few test-runs, too.... sometimes they'll lie about it just to snag ya!