Your Views On 'Smacking' children.

reply to post by BooKrackers

We're splitting hairs here, just because you don't hit yer child doesn't mean they wont suffer from some psychological abuse from the parent. Your just as well if you did hit them at that point as that pain lasts for a few minutes...the words last a life time

I know what you mean. When it came to my mother it was words that hurt the most. "I'm not angry, just disappointed" or "I will always love you but I don't like you very much at the minute." ah give me a smack any day!

To those interested here is an article about the 'science' of smacking.

papers.ssrn.com...

ALS

Originally posted by woodwardjnr
Funny, when you are being told to train a pet, you are told to never hit them and to show them love and respect and teach them to behave, yet when it comes to our own kids we think it's ok to hit them and expect them not to hit others.

I hit my dog many times while he was a puppy, not hard, just a little flick on the nose. Using this technique I was able to train him very quickly. He is a fantastic dog.

ALS

i was smacked as a child and it was one of the things that kept me in line, i wasn't exactly the most obedient kid in the world. i have 2 grown up sons of my own and i smacked both of them when they deserved it. they'd both tell you it did them no harm.

although i didn't like it at the time when i was a child, i was punished with the cane at school. now that i'm older i look around and realise that the legislation to stop corporal punishment at school is at least in some way partially responsible for the lack of discipline in teenagers and adults. i think a little healthy fear is sometimes necessary!

reply to post by ALOSTSOUL


This is a non-issue, personally.

I think it's idiotic how education is seen now-a-days. The world is going down the path of "let them have the easy life", and just attempt to teach them theoretical knowledge on how to deal with stuff, on how to have a profession, a degree, a house and crap like that.

I utterly disagree. We shouldn't be training our kids to be a common standards. We should teach them how to sustain them-selfs, how to go through hardships in life, how to handle stress, how to do what needs to be done, how to obey by respect and not by fear of consequence. And consequence is a word that is lost in today's education. Kids simply do not understand what consequences are.

They don't understand what happens if you crap on school (although a bad system, it's the only one they got for an education, and missing it is wasting an opportunity), they don't understand what happens if you make the worst decisions in life.

It's so "inhumane" to punish children that people are becoming morons, and failing to realize that the ultimate punishment will be a generation that can't live in society nor handle any serious situation.

If we are protesting against politicians that are 50, 60 and 70 years old, that come from a generation where spanking was allow, image the new kind of breed that we are sending out TODAY.

For those of you who are against physical punishment: get a grip of the world. You can educate your child to live in the suburbs, or you can educate your child to live in the world.

It might work for you, it might work for a set number of cases, but in a society the lack of punishment and consequences hurts more than the actual spanking. Have you seen today's youth? Are you really so close up in your little perfect world of things like "non-spanking" and "conversations" that you lost grip of how mad and hard the world can be?

It's like, people are educating their kids assuming that they will always be there for them. You aren't going to live forever, you aren't going to take care of your little ones forever. They MUST know how to take a hit.

It's obvious I don't stand for physical violence, and while I do agree with spanking/smacking, I do not tolerate, under any type of circumstances, beatings.

There are clear lines between those. A spank or a smack is an authority move. You're telling that little being that YOU are his boss, YOU are his parent, YOU know what's good and bad for him, and he MUST obey your authority as long as he is under your sustain. PERIOD

That is not the same as mistreating your children.

People need to understand the difference between discipline (and it's numerous forms) and mistreatment, and one does not correlate to the other.

And for those who claim here that "I don't need to smack my kids because I have other forms of education", get real. Not every single kid is an angel, and not every single kid obeys that easily. If you got that lottery, enjoy it. But most people don't, and while people can pull out of their behinds fun-facts and stupid psychology "studies" meant to sell "educational books", the sad reality is that most younger generations have a clear disruption in mental health, discipline, and stuff like SELF-LOVE.

How is that? How is that in this age, people who are "beaten" less love them-selfs less? Have you stopped to think why?

My dad smacked me. And I did deserve it. I even had a mark for months on my face when I did something that had serious consequences for other people (not from the family). I never did the same mistake again, and from that moment forward I was scared sh*tless of what my father would do when I messed up. That motivated me not to disappoint him in anyway... The same kind of thought you NEED to have in life in order to succeed, not for the parents sake, BUT FOR YOUR OWN.

And you know what? Since my father passed away, I miss that azzhole with all my heart, and I love him deeply.

I wish I could see the same kind of respect and love to the people who kiss their kids behind.

Just my opinion.

Originally posted by mblahnikluver
reply to post by ALOSTSOUL

 

My mom spanked and used a spoon when I crossed her. It wasn't often but I had a mouth and pushed boundaries at times. I see nothing wrong with spanking, as long as it's not over done to abuse.

Kids today aren't disciplined, they are spoiled and catered to. They need to be knocked down a few pegs if you ask me. They need to learn respect.

My mom's spoon hung on the side of the Fridge and she only used it a couple of times. It was a good deterrent. The spoon and an occasional swat on the rear is all I needed to remember my place and my smart mouth. I also went to Catholic school and back then the teachers could swat you on the rear or on the open palms with a wooden ruler. Let's just say that I only saw one kid get hit with the ruler in 8 years. I myself, had my ear pulled by a nun once or twice and I deserved it.

I did not grow up to be a serial killer. I grew up respecting authority and my elders and I want my children to do the same. You can't always negotiate and rationalize with a child. Primitive communication works best in certain situations.

Did I mention that I would also get my mouth washed out with soap for using foul language?? Now, kids just see and hear it during Prime Time TV while watching with their parents. Everyone is numb to it and think its cute to post on Facebook about junior's first use of the "F" word. How neat.

Our mores are crumbling as a distinct element fights to push the limits with TV programming and what is tolerable and accepted on the Internet an all media fronts. No one wants to be held accountable for their own trash!!!!

I say smack him, it just might save his life, he should be smacked if he puts his finger in a electric plug, if you don't scare him, he might just do it again and who's fault wil it be when he dies from putting his finger in the plug again.

put some fire on their asses, it wont kill them and when they are older, they will remember and think twice about the consequences of their actions.

well at least i did, when i was a kid, my brothers and i were what you call hellion's, just pure terror's. and being the oldest i was mean to the bone. and my parent's coming from fairly large families, my mother had five brothers and sisters, and my father had eight, and they being born and raised in the 40's and 50's when the U.S. wasn't all wishie washie, and politically correct, they raised us like they were raised. which was if you showed your ass, or you _____d up bad enough you got a whipping

now i don't want people to misunderstand what i'm saying. whippings weren't the only from of punishment we got.
that depended on what we had done. there was times when we would get in trouble and get toys and things taken away, or not allowed to watch tv, for a certain time frame, or talk on the phone which we weren't allowed to do until we became teenagers, kids under the age of say eleven or twelve have no need to talk on the phone or texting anybody unless it's talking to relatives or grand parents , but that is for another topic. or grounded, then there was the dreaded sit in the corner, that was one of the worst punishments there was, couldn't do any thing but sit there alone with just your thoughts. when your a active kid and got to be going all the time there was nothing worse than sitting in the corner. and we all three had our own special one. mine was in my parents bed room right next to the door, my middle brothers was in the hallway between the bedrooms, and the little brothers was in his and my middle ones bedroom. they were just out of being able to hear any thing clearly, but not so far away that our mom couldn't see us. and God help you if you were doing anything other than sitting there.

now when it came to whippings, those were saved for when we had done something so bad that no other punishment would do, like smoking, running away, steeling, willfully destroying something, or any of the numerous thing us little @@@ts could think of or get into. and when they were over with, you didn't do the same thing for a very long time if ever.

and the implements, well they varied. it just depended upon what was the time period and or where we were at.
as little kids, it was with her hands, if we happened to be out some where in public, and decided that we were gonna act the fool, a quick backhand or a swat to the butt was all it took, because we knew if we didn't stop, when we got home, it was all over with but for the kickin and the screamin.mostly around the house at the young ages it was with her hands.

as we got older say seven or eight, she went on to switches. i use to hate the fact that i was the oldest and was getting the switch and my brothers still got spankings by hand. and she would make us go and pick our own switch, and you better not come back with some spindly little thing, it had to be a good one, cause if momma had to go get one, the k&s could be heard by the neighbors, the closest being almost a mile away.

and when we got to be middle school age, it was a paddle and a belt. if a paddle was good enough for the principle to use, it was good enough for my mom. in both middle school and high school, the principle would ask you what form of punishment you wanted, study hall, detention, or a paddling. i would chose the paddle. as a matter of fact, in the ninth and tenth grade, i was sent to the office so much that he quit asking and just turned around and picked up his paddle when i walked in. my mom was called up to the school so many times, and found that the paddle didn't work so she moved on to the belt. that lasted until i was sixteen, and decided that i was to old for that, it wasn't long that i wish i hadn't made that decision. they took my car away for awhile and then when that got to be to routine, they would take my car and not let me get a job, as that would affect my spending money, couldn't chase the girls with out no cash. and when i turned seventeen, i joined the marine corps, and let me tell ya, the crops don't play that @@@T, that momma and daddy did. that was end of my hellion days.

now someone reading this, might think that i was one of the most evilest meanest people alive, no i was just 100% boy, a wild child, matter of fact every adult i knew liked me, i just would do stupid things or wanted to have fun. some of it was just plain out dumb.

now as time gone on, my mother has said from time to time, that she was to hard on us. and she lightened up on my brothers after i left. but then as i do now, tell her, you better be glad that you did what you did. there were times that i didn't do things i was tempted to do because i would think. what will momma do if she finds out!

if many of the youth of lets say the last 30years had had been disciplined, by there so called loving parents. this country and i dare say the world, wouldn't be in the sad shape it's in.

I haven't read any of the replies but my take on it is this:

I was 'smacked' as a child. I knew that if I did wrong there would be a good chance of getting a sore bum. I have never been in trouble with the police, or done anything particularly bad. I work hard and have high moral standards. I think within reason, you should be allowed to smack your children. The problem is. People don't know where the boundaries are. If you warn your child first and then if they don't listen, they get a smacked bum, they will eventually associate playing up with getting a smack. 'Hitting' children is different and shouldn't be tolerated. I class hitting as doing it out of anger or excessively hard. This will NOT work.

A smack is to cause shock and short term immediate discomfort/pain to distract them from what they were doing and realise they cannot behave that way, hitting is unnecessary and will cause longer lasting effects mentally as well as physically.

Despite this opinion, I feel that when I have children, I won't be able to 'smack' because I would be in danger of being classed as abusing my children by modern society.

My dad used to spank me when I was a kid. All it did, was make me want revenge on him, and i got it, when I threw a hammer at his face. So, what did I learn from this? Violence gives you what you want. (he never hit me again, so maybe it works)

What a fantastic lesson to bring to children.

PS, I am against smacking children.

reply to post by ALOSTSOUL


This might be an interesting side to the story you all may want to hear

...the following is from my perspective as a child having both methods of punishment - hitting vs non hitting

when i was 2 my parents split and ended up marring and making new familes. (im the only child from my parents)

well, on my mums side, i used to be disaplined via whatever means , both me and my half brother have had a fare few slaps on the bum for doing things wrong and a few cracks around the head ..indeed they hurt and make you cry for a few minutes then its all over.

Now, on my dads side i never got hit once... not even shouted at, he never hit his other two children. (my half brother and sister) instead he would state exaclty why he feels disapointed and ignored me for a while. (he may even ground us if very badly behaved) one thing about my dad is he always spoke to us like adults .

now lets ask me if i would ever hit my children having had both methods?

No... and not because i feel its wrong! (because i have turned out ok with both having smacks and not) ... but its because i feel having my dad be upset and disapointed in me is FAR worse than a smack on the bum .. my dad ignored me for most of a day once and it really really upset me ..it ruined my week and i sat and THOUGHT about my actions.

so do you NEED to smack children? im goin to say NO.... if you bring your children up like my dad did .. you wouldnt need to smack them.

(just a small note: i know some children have gone beyond caring weather the parent is disapointed or not and its most proably because they lose respect for parents but there are levels and i guess at that level a crack may well be in order - NO MATTER HOW OLD YOU ARE! - im 27 and if i saw my 20 + yr old on the streets rioting / breaking / beating up people then id be giving them a good crack when they got home.

oh the joys, im not a parent but i do look forward to being one

Another little smacking story.... I remember once, I'd got an almighty spank off of my mum, she hit me far a=harder than she needed, or wanted to. And after a half hour of me crying in my bedroom, I camedown and said "that really hurt" and I can still remember my mum bursting into tears and giving me a cuddle to try and make it up to me. But I was smarter than her, I held out for a milkshake

Originally posted by addygrace
Yeah, even putting your finger in a kids face should be illegal. Really yelling too loud should be illegal, you could scare them. Any form of punishment, should actually be outlawed. If kids don't know any better why should they be in trouble by another human that also makes mistakes. For example my oldest son punched my youngest son in the face, so I said, hey if you don't punch him anymore I'll give you money. He said, "Ok Dad." He stopped punching him all the way until the next day. Now, every time he punches him I just give em money and he stops.

He is extorting you. Just the way the social welfare system is extorting the government. The government keeps paying them to keep the crime rate low.

I was beaten the crap outta me and not even spanked. I dont regret a single bit of the punishment that I received as a child. I turned out to be just fine. I still have excellent relationship with my retired father. I have a good education, career and a family. My father loves my kids. Nothing is wrong in spanking the kids upto certain extent especially when they are really out of line. Its the misfits who abuse the children (physically & sexually) that has driven the laws in many countries against parental discipline. The word 'abuse' has taken a whole new meaning all its own. Its amazing the idiots keep starring at me or my wife when we explain strictly or using a stern voice at shopping malls when our kids keep touching the displays at malls and stores. Its not like we have not tried to explain them over and over again. At times, they have managed to drop few objects and destroyed the merchandise at shops or make a mess. Luckily the shop owner didn't say anything. But it is still someone elses property and that thought should be respected.

A slap on the face is not something I prefer as it is insulting. I prefer spanking them on their back, make them stick their hand out and spank them on their palm or turn around and smack one on their butt.

Fear is the beginning of knowledge.

You are not their friend but their parent. Its your job to train your child for the not so cushy big bad world.

Molly coddling and spoiling kids creates worthless human beings with no character..

Kids selling smack should be treated like any other drug-peddling criminal.

reply to post by ballisticmousse


*inserts picture of drum kit*

badum tish!

If my kid thought he could run all over me like them kids on that show where the parents hire the nanny or w/e, I would push that #$%&%^ into a wall, and hopefully knock him out.


Otherwise, as long as my kid has somewhat of a general attitude of respect, I would not physically punish him.


Sometimes, though, there are those special, extreme, cases where u need to knock a kid out one good time.

reply to post by dannotz

Try to picture the "perfect" parent in your head, would this parent hit their kids to teach them "discipline"?

Andy Griffith in Mayberry.
Michael Landon in Little House on the Prairie.
My own parents.

I believe those 3 all make very good examples of parents, and all would have no problem smacking a child if the situation called for it. All 3 would also be deeply concerned with it, and make sure there was a lesson to be learned, and make sure the child knew they were till loved.

I don't think any parent wants to hit a child. If they get any enjoyment out of it, or look forward to it in some way, then they are sickos. But, a parent has to be willing to do whatever it takes to make a child behave. Better a little smack at home than some handcuffs later on!

reply to post by ALOSTSOUL


I believe a spanking can be considered if the occasion is critical, ok like if he or she plays with matches the first time with stern words explain the reason its bad, in age appropriate language, a child 2-3 you say No No ouchy, older child can understand more details, now here is where reasoning occurs, if the child plays with matches again Yes he/she needs a simple spanking to get their attention, if it happens a third time then it is either mental issues or something in the Childs life is array, the child could be crying for help by misbehaving. Their are few very few reasons to spank your child however sometimes its the only way.

My views on smacking children?

It's mildly amusing I suppose, but I prefer to smack the elderly and the disabled as they generally put up less of a fuss.

reply to post by ALOSTSOUL


Are you kidding me.

I have never smacked my kids.

But hell yes I have wanted to.

When I was a kid I wised off to my father and he smacked he in the head and beat the shiot out of me..
Oh hekll no I never did that again.

That is the problem.

Discipline your kids no dont .

Just mind your own buisness and dont tell me what to do.

If my kid is acting like a # head and does something stupid which warrants a smack in the head. You know a gentlye tap like hey smaten up .

Well that is my decision.

When you get up at 1,2,3,4,5 and 6am in the morning in the first 5 years of there life and tend to there every need and cough and binky falling out of the mouth then you can call the shots.

Other than that shutty.