Judge has harsh words for Mom before sentencing her for spanking her kid

My take is this: Slapping a child should be only used when the kid is putting itself or others in physical danger. So if its sticking its fingers in a wall socket, a very clear slap should send the message that this is absolutely unforgiveable behaviour. Anything more than that will send out a very clear message to the child that violence is the answer to all life's problems. Don't like something that somebody's doing? Hit them!

You see, it's my belief that the majority of spankings occur not through the parent wanting to impose a sense of discipline, but because the parent has simply lost their temper and wants to lash out. How many times have you seen the scenario at the local supermarket or city centre where some harrassed Mom with a screaming child suddenly snaps and starts lashing out, yanking the child about, slapping, screaming in its ear? Is she doing that out of parental wisdom, believing that physical intervention will stop her child from crying? No. She's doing that because she's angry and wants (however briefly) to hurt her child. This, for me, is a criminal assault on a defenceless human being.

I notice the child in question in this thread is only two years old. Spanking a two year old until it leaves marks is bad parenting and criminal in my view - unless of course the child was putting itself in danger. However I suspect the scenario was more like the one illustrated above.

BTW - 5 years probation isn't jail time is it? I thought probation was where you have to keep your nose clean for the sentence or else. I may be wrong, but that's how I understand it.

Originally posted by Godhood
reply to post by SteveR

 

I am a father of three i spank my kids ass not often but it happens my dad spanked me and he got spanked by his dad its the way it goes you must not have kids or you must be ignorant to the kids of today they need more discipline or parenting or something allot of young kids today have no respect and there parents let them run wild so to speak.I don't see this being a felony any shape way or form unless the kids injured or severe marks or bruises are left that's over board but good ol ass whoopin is just letting them know they need to listen and respect there perents.

I think your Dad spanked the punctuation out of you.

I would be interested in the judge's personal child rearing situation.

A simple exercise can be performed by all ATS'ers to determine what several generations of "enlightened parenting" has produced...

Go to your local Super Wal-Mart on a busy afternoon and position yourself to view lines of shoppers checking out at the front of the store.

Observe and listen to the snot-nosed brats screaming for everything they see and dad's or mom's lame attempt to threaten them with "time out" or "Honey, please be still."

Note that the kid ignores the foolish requests of his/her parent and the mayhem that results, in most cases, with the kid getting whatever they want.

A good public service message for the bleeding-hearts who insist that spanking is not ever acceptable follows:



...............................................

Originally posted by Myendica
I'm going to discipline the # out of my child. if that involves spanking, you better believe it. This is how raising a child goes. just like a lion biting her cub, sometimes we spank. Are you serious judge? I guess I'll make my child sign a contract first.

It's a bit crazy he got fined by a judge.

But as a 19 year old that never got spanked once, I got to say that in some cases it actually is a much better form of parenting, I'm going into the air force and college for astronomy so im not lazy.

My neighbors remind me of exactly your stance on child raising, they spank them often [3 daughters 1, 5, and 8] and I got to tell you it does not work at all, the kids show resent towards their father and purposely do stuff that makes him mad, he used to be a lot worse than he is now, but its not right in my opinion.

It's natural for a little kid to want to throw fits and cry, It's not natural for its father to start smacking the crap out of them for wanting skittles.

I don't know, it just seems that the common parent is not experienced at raising children, which is understandable because the common person does not plan for a kid it is accidental i would say 9 outta 10 times. I just don't understand hitting them to get your point across, instead of giving them guidance.

But I understand it sometimes, its just some people take it way outta hand

I support the judge's decision and I absolutely agree with what he told her....
Spanking is an archiac way to condition children. It conditions them to fear authority because of violent retribution. It incapacitates them as adults because they've been conditioned not to question authority, no reasoning required.
I am friends with a young mother of four and when she disciplines her kids she always attempts to reason with them first. She will tell them why they shouldn't do what they're doing. She threatens them with the natural consequences of their actions, not spanking. Of course, I dont' see a problem if she wants to drag her child away from the road to keep them safe. But it's a more pragmatic approach.
That mother and all people that abuse their kids should get some jail time. It wouldn't hurt...will make them question their ability to be a good parent and may even plant seeds in the minds of younger generations, should they ever consider having children of their own. This is justice in action...

People, you need to remember that as a parent, we are not there to be the child's friend or playmate. We are there to be the parent.
I , as a father am not in it to make friends. My children will fear the repercussions of their bad actions, but in the end know that I love them.
A father is to be feared and respected. A mother is to be loved and respected.

Originally posted by Jrocbaby

Originally posted by Myendica
I'm going to discipline the # out of my child. if that involves spanking, you better believe it. This is how raising a child goes. just like a lion biting her cub, sometimes we spank. Are you serious judge? I guess I'll make my child sign a contract first.

It's a bit crazy he got fined by a judge.

But as a 19 year old that never got spanked once, I got to say that in some cases it actually is a much better form of parenting, I'm going into the air force and college for astronomy so im not lazy.

My neighbors remind me of exactly your stance on child raising, they spank them often [3 daughters 1, 5, and 8] and I got to tell you it does not work at all, the kids show resent towards their father and purposely do stuff that makes him mad, he used to be a lot worse than he is now, but its not right in my opinion.

It's natural for a little kid to want to throw fits and cry, It's not natural for its father to start smacking the crap out of them for wanting skittles.

I don't know, it just seems that the common parent is not experienced at raising children, which is understandable because the common person does not plan for a kid it is accidental i would say 9 outta 10 times. I just don't understand hitting them to get your point across, instead of giving them guidance.

This, in spades. Parents who regularly spank their kids are living proof that the practice doesn't work. If it did, they'd only have to spank their kids once. But they don't, they have to keep going back and repeating the action, proof that it ain't working. Also, the kids you describe above are seeking attention. They probably don't get too much love and affection from Dad - and so an angry response is better than no response at all.

Originally posted by laiguana
I support the judge's decision and I absolutely agree with what he told her....
Spanking is an archiac way to condition children. It conditions them to fear authority because of violent retribution. It incapacitates them as adults because they've been conditioned not to question authority, no reasoning required.
I am friends with a young mother of four and when she disciplines her kids she always attempts to reason with them first. She will tell them why they shouldn't do what they're doing. She threatens them with the natural consequences of their actions, not spanking. Of course, I dont' see a problem if she wants to drag her child away from the road to keep them safe. But it's a more pragmatic approach.
That mother and all people that abuse their kids should get some jail time. It wouldn't hurt...will make them question their ability to be a good parent and may even plant seeds in the minds of younger generations, should they ever consider having children of their own. This is justice in action...

Nice, friends of a parent.
So, no kids of your own?

Spanking is not abuse. Get over it.

Maybe chime in when you have dealt with kids.

reply to post by macman


A father shouldn't be a friend or a playmate? A father is to be feared and respected? This is 2011, not 1811. You're a fracking idiot, sir. I pity your wife and kids.

reply to post by macman


I don't need to breed to know how stupid breeders can be.
I can see it all around me actually...even here. The reason parents feel the need to spank their kids is because they fail at parenting. Jail time for spanking seems appropriate, it's the only way society will learn.
They should make it a federal law.

Originally posted by Troofseeker
reply to post by macman

 

A father shouldn't be a friend or a playmate? A father is to be feared and respected? This is 2011, not 1811. You're a fracking idiot, sir. I pity your wife and kids.

edit on 18-6-2011 by Troofseeker because: (no reason given)

You should not pity anyone except yourself.

My children have lots of friends, but only one father.
I do play with my kids, as soon as I get home. But, if there is no basic fear of bad actions, then there is no opposition to stop them.
It must be nice to live in Magic Fairy Land, full of tree hugs and "Please stop its".
While mindlessly swatting your kids will not resolve the problem, a spanking, when used in the correct manner, will end the issue. If spanking is not the only tool used.

In the world now, where fathers are deemed as the dumbest of the dumb by TV and the like, and Govt has taken the role of the provider and Divorce runs free where parents go through spouses like water, there is no wonder why kids have boundary issues.

Originally posted by laiguana
reply to post by macman

 

I don't need to breed to know how stupid breeders can be.
I can see it all around me actually...even here. The reason parents feel the need to spank their kids is because they fail at parenting. Jail time for spanking seems appropriate, it's the only way society will learn.
They should make it a federal law.

Yeah. Right along with people on the internet mouthing off on topics they have no background in.

Originally posted by SteveR
There's something wrong with the parenting if violence is required.

A violent attack and the quick sharp shock a child receives from a slap after doing something wrong are two very different things imo. The method of slapping a kid has always been imo about the shock factor rather than causing pain.

Originally posted by macman

Originally posted by Troofseeker
reply to post by macman

 

A father shouldn't be a friend or a playmate? A father is to be feared and respected? This is 2011, not 1811. You're a fracking idiot, sir. I pity your wife and kids.

edit on 18-6-2011 by Troofseeker because: (no reason given)

You should not pity anyone except yourself.

My children have lots of friends, but only one father.
I do play with my kids, as soon as I get home. But, if there is no basic fear of bad actions, then there is no opposition to stop them.
It must be nice to live in Magic Fairy Land, full of tree hugs and "Please stop its".
While mindlessly swatting your kids will not resolve the problem, a spanking, when used in the correct manner, will end the issue. If spanking is not the only tool used.

In the world now, where fathers are deemed as the dumbest of the dumb by TV and the like, and Govt has taken the role of the provider and Divorce runs free where parents go through spouses like water, there is no wonder why kids have boundary issues.

I apologise for my blunt response but you specifically said a father should not be a child's playmate or friend. It saddened me to imagine a child without that kind of interaction from its father. However you say you do play with your kids so that's something.

FYI I don't live in Magic Fairy Land and never say "please stop it" to my children. My kids know that what I say goes, and if they don't do what I tell them they lose privelidges. Taking away their XBox for a week hits home much harder than a swat on the backside. No sweeties / ice cream for a week is another good one. And positive reinforcement / rewarding the child for good behaviour with treats / hugs etc is a devastatingly-effective weapon in the war against bad behaviour. Funnily enough it works on dogs too.

Originally posted by Solomons

Originally posted by SteveR
There's something wrong with the parenting if violence is required.

A violent attack and the quick sharp shock a child receives from a slap after doing something wrong are two very different things imo. The method of slapping a kid has always been imo about the shock factor rather than causing pain.

edit on 18-6-2011 by Solomons because: (no reason given)

Correct. If you are spanking out of anger, then it really does nothing in the total scheme of things.
When used as a way to bring a child back from a fit, then the use will provide better results.

Just laying into a child does not work, case in point the parents that does nothing except spank, and the kids are not responsive.

Originally posted by laiguana
reply to post by macman

 

I don't need to breed to know how stupid breeders can be.
I can see it all around me actually...even here. The reason parents feel the need to spank their kids is because they fail at parenting. Jail time for spanking seems appropriate, it's the only way society will learn.
They should make it a federal law.

It's quite obvious your mother and father failed at parenting. I mean this in all sincerity, you need psychological help if you think someone needs to be jailed for spankings. More than likely, you are a coward that would shrivel and cower if you ever had to defend yourself or a loved one.

reply to post by romanmel


Absolutely brilliant...needed a good laugh

reply to post by Troofseeker


Yes, the playmate statement is broad, and I did not define it. Which is my mistake.
I play with my kids from the moment I walk in the door to the moment the go to sleep, but I, at the end of the day am their Father first.

reply to post by dolphinfan


This a great first step in ending the constant bombardment of violence perpetuated on the young at the hands of society starting with the parental units. Three cheers! Now if we can do something to eliminate caning we might go a long way to eliminating WAR.

WAR is a game for angry boys who got beat on as kids and when they grow up they are going to repay society with a tank or a machine gun.

WAR is misplaced anger and a long deferred reaction to cruel punishment.

WAR is a latent response to childhood trauma of abuse.

Striking a child is abuse regardless of the reason.

If you strike a child you have lost the ability to reason.
This is the lesson that is embedded in the child's forming brain.

You do not need to REASON if you replace reason with muscle or brute force.

Look around the world.
This is what the kids have learned.

It has to change sometime. Now's the time.

Originally posted by newcovenant
reply to post by dolphinfan

 

This a great first step in ending the constant bombardment of violence perpetuated on the young at the hands of society starting with the parental units. Three cheers! Now if we can do something to eliminate caning we might go a long way to eliminating WAR.

WAR is a game for angry boys who got beat on as kids and when they grow up they are going to repay society with a tank or a machine gun.

WAR is misplaced anger and a long deferred reaction to cruel punishment.

WAR is a latent response to childhood trauma of abuse.

Striking a child is abuse regardless of the reason.

If you strike a child you have lost the ability to reason.
This is the lesson that is embedded in the child's forming brain.

You do not need to REASON if you replace reason with muscle or brute force.

Look around the world.
This is what the kids have learned.

It has to change sometime. Now's the time.

Blah blah blah.
From the mouth of someone that more then likely does not have kids.

And the whole crap of War is from the angry child?
Really? Because War was only invented about 30 years ago.