Should I really feel this way?

Originally posted by JRSB
reply to post by DeltaPan

 

I have to warn about taking psychedelics, it dosn't really do much for peace of mind. Infact sitting in nature and smoking a J really begs for more questions than it can answer, if you are such a state, LsD/'___' will do even less for you. Psychedelics are really only a world of confusion, I can tell the OP is a more practical person - good vibrations don't sit for everyone, maybe if your an old fart in retirement, kick yourself out and sit in a forest. However if your young 'n still kickn' focus on ambitions!

Well that's an entire debate in itself, but i'm sure you speak from personal experience to be so contrary to what getting a little **stoned** and meditating to nature and the planets resonances etc does for somebody and is a main historical use of Cannabis next to entheogenic use which is a little different to simple meditative.

A lot of difference between all the propaganda and what weed/charas is actually all about and i said get stoned not trip out of ones mind and when i say stoned i don't then expect somebody to go get some top quality Hindu charas and eat a quarter, i mean what is commonly understood.

I didn't mention '___'/natural amides/'___' nor Psilocin nor did i say seek out a Sativa strain high in THCV.

OK, that's your opinion of Cannabis it seems, you tie it all into one blur, your loss.

I suppose you think crawling into a bottle of Alcohol and never coming out is better than getting stoned in nature sometimes to ground ones self, so much safer, ay, lovely Alcohol, causing all that lovely necrotic brain tissue and destroying internal organs.

Getting back to nature is great for when modern life is having a pernicious affect on ones psyche and emotional self as much as spiritual, having a couple of joints enhances that especially if empath and doesn't automatically spin people out into a horrific psychosis like in the propaganda like "Reefer madness".

However much you may believe the rubbish, it may not suit everybody but your assuming it won't do anything but make things worse for OP whilst at the same time presenting a dimension i am offering bad advice and such.

So pardon me if i am just a little pissed off by the way you came out with that lot there and adding in hallucinogens like i was saying go take a trip because i wasn't saying that at all and i am sure there are enough people enjoy getting back to nature and enjoying a little weed of all ages who make time for it because it is a positive, who range from early adulthood to pensioner age, a great many benefit from it, it may not agree with everybody but then neither does Alcohol.

You simply have a biased and negative opinion of it, maybe you should try it sometime instead of trying to ridicule it, so you know what you are talking about instead of asserting an obviously second hand perception of it.

Don't you actually understand what happens in the non natural environments we dwell in, like cities and large towns etc, does to us?

I mean saying "I can tell the OP is a more practical person - good vibrations don't sit for everyone, maybe if your an old fart in retirement, kick yourself out and sit in a forest. However if your young 'n still kickn' focus on ambitions!" is just so narrow minded it is exasperatingly infuriating, like people shouldn't get down with nature until retirement age and beyond, it's something to be shunned if a young adult, one should totally forget nature and concentreate on ambitions, yeah right, i understand mate.

That's what makes a great many people feel so screwed up about modern life in the first place, one of many direct and factoral causes.

The word is compromise, everybody should make some time to ground and connect with nature as well as getting on with thier lives and ambitions, it's good for mind, body and spirit, all the better when a bit stoned and meditating.

But you're entitled to your opinion, just don't warp things i say out of context and add to make thngs appear worse.

Originally posted by ukman2009
^^^^^ those hallucinogens eh? leave em well alone, they just wreck ur head lol!!!!!!

[edit on 10-8-2009 by ukman2009]

Unlike Alcohol which is so good for people it destroys more people than any other drug our species uses as well as ruining more peoples mental health than all soft drugs put together together.

And to reiterate, i didn't mention hallucinogens in the context of this thread until you two did, i said stoned and meditate into inner holography not go trip out of ones mind.

If either of you are thinking of posting a continuance as a wind up, don't bother as you are both on overide and it will have no purchase.

---

Pardon me, i just had to respond to that ignorance.

Some people just don't have a clue, such is modern life with monotheist theologic basal programming, also known as wearing blinkers so they only see a narrow fileld along thier paths..

Which is why OP's perceptions and emotions are so common in a big way, especially with empath's who haven't developed control and tolerance yet, some know they are empath, some feel that way but don't know the terms, some do but all too many get all too wrapped up in modern life to discover and learn and tuning into nature and self greatly aids this.

Getting away from people and back to nature in a forest especially for 5 days or more, feeling the vibrations of nature and the planet has a prophylactic quality on the spirit and psyche and helps one cope when returning to other people and modern life.

Getting a **little** stoned whilst meditating to nature and the planet simply enhances such, not prerequisite to but better immho.

Paxus.


[edit on 10-8-2009 by DeltaPan]

reply to post by ldyserenity


Try being in your mid 30's, owning a failing business, and going to a EMT class(thinking of a new field since you have no 'formal education') after having all your former career certifications being taken away......and walking into a class where nobody is above 21 years old....feeling like a complete loser because you have to start life over....realizing that in this country 35 is considered out of touch....and walking out of the class within the first 5 minutes to try your home based business with a different approach.....and having every minute of every day feeling like this country, the government, people, life in general....is sucking the soul out of you.

That on top of running out of money, no time for friends because you're too busy surviving, no woman for moral support to speak of, watching all the people around you lose jobs while people that can't speak a lick of english excel at God knows what and for God knows why. Watching intelligent Americans and Middle class people who have great potential, being thrown to the side in favor of cheap dumbed down 'labor forces'(cough cough that's politically correct for illegal immigrants). Having everything you worked for near gone, watching all your talent disappear because your so busy fighting the 'system' and wondering why you fight anymore.

So do I know how you feel? Is your outlook 'wrong'??? Hmm lemme think. No, welcome to the new reality of the Age of Contradiction. That's what I call this new era.

Now get out there and smile for the camera citizen.

reply to post by ldyserenity


Don't give up, get even. Always get even. Keep a list, and when you have your chance, ruin them. If you run up against someone that's in the way of what you want that is right, ruin them.

That customer service person that's being obtuse, and treating you unjustly? Ruin them, lodge complaints, call their corporate offices.
The people that gave you trouble in school? Keep them close enough to know what's going on in their lives, and ruin them. Live your life, and wait for theirs to start showing cracks. That guy is having trouble with his marriage? Send his wife flowers when he's there, and she isn't. Find a way to put a wedge into those cracks, and have fun with it. There are a myriad of ways. Know that he drinks regularly at a certain bar? If you notice he is at the bar, call in a drunk driving report. The person that belittled you? Just wait till his/her life is falling apart then point out every little piddling thing that is wrong, and how it is their own personal fault.

Don't create trouble for them. That will pretty much happen on it's own, and when it does you need to capitalize on it, take advantage of it, and magnify it's effects on them.

Years ago I could have written pretty much what you did. I hated the people that I grew up around, but later realized that it is a public service to ruin those people. I became the hand of karma, avatar of dirty underhanded revenge, and every single time I have struck, struck hard, and stuck unmercifully I regained the self esteem that they tore away from me.

Balance the books, get even. You might have to wait years. Accept those myspace and facebook requests. It gets you closer to them, you will be able to keep tabs on when the time is right, and how to best take advantage of their situation.

Oh, people here will give you all sorts of namby pamby advice that does you no good. The world, from your point of view, is your oyster. Treat it that way. Treat the people that are/were good to you well. Treat those that weren't/aren't good to you like the filth that they are.

reply to post by ldyserenity


I don't know your name. I have not seen you. But I share your story.

My life was misery. The failures in my life seemed to amplify to the point where I felt nothing was any longer achievable, but there is balance and symmetry in nature; and it is coming back in force.

Please live your life doing what you love, even if it's something small and no one else sees the value.

You will find yourself in that.

removed

[edit on 8/10/2009 by Alaskan Man]

Serenity: I am sure a lot of people on here sympathise- If those so called friends on Facebook etc were not true friends then cut em out of your life.

I did that with a member of the family who to put it mildly made my life hell...so I purely and simply cut them off. It was like a witch hunt' for 20 or so years...and they still post insults up about me on a public website. Fortunately the 'mods' are great if its a really bad posting...

Make new friends...people who will care about you and move on!........You CAN choose your friends and who to interact with! YOU have the power!

I wish you well my friend......and lots of good karma!
STAY POSITIVE!:

First, I suggest you don't come to a site like this for advice. You'll get a lot of responses from people who can't understand what you are going through...and try to give you tough love.

Does anyone else in your family suffer depression? Even if not, consider the possibility that your depression is partly biological.

Some people can go through what you have and not be as depressed, see the positive in life, etc. Cognitive therapy or positive thinking might be all they need to get out of a down time. This is because they are biologically setup not to be depressed. These people don't feel depression and despair the same way you do.

Depression was evolved for survival. Fight or flight. When humans were in tribes depressed people would avoid risky behavior. Risky behavior such as being competitive, which could end up in being thrown out of the tribe by the current leadership. They would also likely stay at home rather then be a hunter/gatherer.

Are you on any medication? You should consider that a good option at this point along with therapy.

Hello,

Looks like your facing many of the same things I've had to face. I learned something about 5 years ago that has changed EVERYTHING for the better......

And here it is free of charge This is what worked for me and that's really the only advice I can pass on.

Everything that's happening to you are merely opportunity's to grow. The universe, higher power, jeebis, etc whatever you want to call it is supporting you every second and sending you the exact circumstances you need to grow as a spiritual being.

It seams like I've had to grow a lot more than most people because my circumstances have been considerably more difficult. But now I'm grateful I had the opportunity's to grow because I feel better having faced my fears.

Right now it appears that you are playing the victim role but you are not a victim of circumstance. The circumstances you're experiencing in your life are there to help you grow beyond your emotional problems, fears, etc

So for me. I've come to the conclusion that the universe is ALWAYS sending me the perfect moment and my only job is to walk through the circumstances and do the right thing. What I've discovered is that I always come out the other side of an ordeal feeling like a new stronger person.

No one can remove your fear from you not even God, the universe, higher power, etc because you have free will and no one can trump your free will. As long as you decide that your the victim of circumstance and there's nothing you can do about it........So be it, no one can change that but you.

I would suggest that you start taking advantage of your circumstances. Just try it for a week. What do you have to lose? For one week act as if everything that's happening to you is there to help you and commit to taking the correct, right, healthy actions, etc in every moment and see what happens. For me........Life long fears fell away in days after walking through circumstances that terrified me.

One thing that really helped in the beginning was accepting pain. Pain is something I can handle, misery I cannot. And misery is created when I resist pain.

I love you and good luck

P.S. Two authors that have really helped me are Eckhart tolle and Marian Williamson. Just head to the library, rent the audio books, and rip them into your PC. These two people in particular have really helped me remember because i forget and slip into a victim role with self pity following closely behind. I then start resisting the pain and here comes good ole friend misery.

EDIT: Grammer



[edit on 10-8-2009 by brianmg5]

People love labels and among the worse labels out there is the one called "victim"
I cant succeed because i was a "victim" of mean comments in school, i cant succeed because i am a "victim" of ADD, i am a "victim" because of (fill in the blank) and for that reason, I am unhappy and a failure.
My X loved that label, she wanted to handicap herself and our children with the victim label since our first one was born but I refused to allow that with our kids.
She impeded her own growth and maturation because she wouldnt let go of her unhappy childhood and wanted to pass on her anger and bitterness to her kids, you know the saying "misery loves company".
She would actually try to find flaws in our kids in order to find something to label them with.
My son, the first born, was fairly hyper beginning at about 2 years old. At about 4 she took him to a DR, who after about a 3 minute talk, labeled him ADD and gave her a script for a huge bottle of ritalin.
When I found out, i was furious and immediately poured the pills out and about two years later his hyperactivity subsided and hes now a perfect, normal, straight A sophomore in high school.
Shake off the labels, shake off the bitterness and youll be a much happier person and youll raise a much healthier new generation of people.

OP is right. Most people suck. Crowds of people suck even more. We can't pick our parents. Sometimes they suck too. Sorry you let everyone get under your skin but you need to fix yourself. No matter what you think, there are people out there much worse off than you. You could have been born in the middle east fighting infidels or born into a meth addicted family who molest you daily. If you have kids they could get an incurable cancer. You could have been a paraplegic who has to wear diapers. You could go blind or deaf.
Point is, when you are down in the darkest part of your ego, you still have the ability to change. It has to come from within first. Get angry. Get mad. Use it to your advantage. Yes, your friends, family, whatever sucks. OK. Move on. Move out on your own. you can find a place to live anywhere cheap, just look it up on craigslist. Work a year at a crap job flipping burgers. File your taxes for that year and then you can apply for finacil aid. You can get grants that you don't have to pay back, you just have to fill out the right paper work.

At least you recognize where your ego is poisoned from. Awareness is the first step in any program. Sometimes we have to pass through the dark to appreciate the light. Don't get bogged down by other peoples expectations, as we are all animals with a instinct for selfishness.

Sounds like you need a fresh perspective. I suggest volunteering for a big brother/sister program. I guarantee you will be the light of someone if you want to. Also, volunteering at a local hospital would be good for you. Try to make a terminally ill child laugh or listen to an elderly person tell their stories. I think it will put things into perspective for you.

I kind of feel for the OP, but you really have not had it that "bad." In the foster home I lived in, I was never given the opportunity to even consider college. I was not taught how to drive, or even how to tie a tie. I had been working since I could push a snow shovel, and had a paying job at 14 onwards, to buy all my school clothes, even though my foster parents were given money to do that with.

I was made to feel so useless and out of place, it really screwed with my mind. For example: Did your mother while you were doing say, the dishes, glare at you with slitted eyes for 10 minutes at a time, waiting for you to screw up so she could yell at you? Did you go to the basement pantry and just stand there for up to 30 minutes at a time, just to ensure you were not around anyone who would yell at you / make you feel intimidated, scared and useless? No?

Perhaps you don't have it as bad as you think you do. I graduated early from HS just so I could join the army when I was 17 to get out of my hell home. I took my own college courses with the Army's help. I started building computers when I was 19, in 1985, and giving people training for additional money. I had to teach myself how to tie a tie, shave, drive, you name it.

I had so many incidents where I was made to feel frightened, was intimidated, and made to feel useless, that I can hardly feel bad for others with sob stories like these. I am intelligent. I write, I work on computers, and yet, I still suffer from the effects of my childhood. I hate making anyone else unhappy. I agree with people to get along with them. I have mental hangups from how screwed up my childhood was (not even going into the physical abuse from prior parents). So no, I can't feel too sorry for you.

Tell you what... if you want to change your life, do it. Don't depend on others to do it for you. If you have anyone that cares for you even a little, you are doing better off than many others out there. One thing that gets me these days, is how "emo," angsty and upset and hurt teens are (not saying OP is a teen, just saying in general ). Everyone is against them. No one understand them. Woe is them. They don't realize how good they have it.

You are constantly evolving and know that everything is always temporary. You have the choice to feel this way, and sometimes it is good to allow yourself to feel this way until you are ready to move on.

Your obviously very young.. and having gone through similar thoughts a few years ago when I was around your age, I can offer you two things:
1. Take things as they come. Perhaps your very seeking of these things is the reason they are turning out as they are. That's how it was for me. I just learned to relax and let things come to me. Taking a defensive stance to life is not giving up or giving in it is in my opinion a harmonious way to be.
2. F*&^ EM. Everyone in your life that upsets you, everyone on this board, me, jesus, satan, obummer. Learn to not care and it will set you free. Trust your intuition on things and you will be happy with the results.
Hope that helps

Originally posted by DerelictJ
You are constantly evolving and know that everything is always temporary. You have the choice to feel this way, and sometimes it is good to allow yourself to feel this way until you are ready to move on.

Life is but a multitude of transitional stages, within the wheel of life.

Edit:23:04BST - Changed, that's as was written in the dust of a shop in Pall Mall, down the road from St James' palace, in 2003 and what i thought in 1993, probobly seen by thousands by now and likely still there.

PaxDelta circa 1993



[edit on 10-8-2009 by DeltaPan]

reply to post by Nickmare


Sorry Nickmare - but I think this is a good place to get advice and to see other's pain. Some people on here are ill, some people are going through similar stuff. We don't get a handbook when we're born and there are some pretty brutal people out there!

Unfortunately, the world is a much more competitive place and we could all do with learning compassion and empathy...sadly it seems to be in a minority!

Well,this site has made me actually feel better!- that we're all singing off the similar pages in our lives. I have taken a lot of comfort from what people have said on here and my 'issue' was infinitely small by some people's comparisons.

Thanks for all the postings- been helpful and enlightening!

LIFE

is a grindstone and you are a rock


Life will either grind you into dust, or polish you up into beauty

All depending on what your made of.


So, you are demanding that you will be dust...that life has grinded you into fragments of what you could be. Why? thing is, you choose what your made up of...its your choice to be the dust or the gem after what life does to you.

Sometimes it can feel overwhelming at times...and you know what...thank fark for those moments, because when you overcome the overwhelming, that is when you see what strength you truely have within you.

Consider in life how many times you felt overwhelmed about what you look at now as small stuff. Think now about how you overcame it...the feeling you had when you did what at one point seemed almost impossible
Life is about building and climbing...about falling and standing back up stronger for the experience...not about everything fitting perfectly, no pressure, etc...if that was life, we wouldnt learn dik.

So, stand up, and keep on. You are who you want to be, and if you want to be what others tell you to be, you have nobody to blame for that but yourself. Its too easy to hate the rest of the world for what you are, but its your fault completely on how you become what you are.

Be the change! You complain that people suck...but what have you done for a random stranger? or are you including yourself in the whole people suck senario...

Venting over I hope.

I bet you hangout with negative people.......you blame your problems on everyone else but yourself, F#@* the world and everybody in it is your motto. You need some serious help, wanting to push the button and destroy the world is the sign of a coward.

I don't know if your still reading these but, I'll keep my advice short;

LEAVE THE PARTY.

Screw the people, screw their system, screw their virtues, their opinions and their games. Don't give up your life, don't leave the earth, don't extinguish your soul. Just leave the party.

phhhft. dramaaa. if you think bunch of paperwork and time you spent honoring/worshipping them should define you, then you've been thoroughly brainwashed. good news is its easy to wash that off too. go out to the forest, to the city. theres more to experience than what you can in a square room full of desks and papers. find out for youself then decide if its worth living or not.

Life is what you make it. I have been # on, i have had a # upbringing do you see me whining about it? no! get on with it pal!

You are obviously depressed you need a new structure to your life somthing that is meaningfull to you. You must have ambitions? you need to crawl out of your hole, find a new crowd of people (people you can trust). Theres many different groups you could join.

I will also add that your own negativity does not help anyone else be happy either. Start changing your self before you wish for others to change!

Posts like yours iritate me because there is always somone worse of. So get over your past (like i have) and look to the future. As i said your future is what you make it.