You have every right in the world to whoop ya kid's..PLZ start I am sick of all the punk's

Originally posted by jeasahtheseer
I have a daughter now and shes a good girl and never acts up but if she ever does I will have my WIFE discipline her. I don't think as a man I should discipline a girl. Having a man doing the discipline I could imagine would be traumatic and very scary to a little girl.

Wow, so you have [read: make] your wife administer the punishments and corrections? So she's always "the bad one" ?

What a cope out. Do you job mate, be a father and *father* your child. It's not a one way street.

Sheesh.

Originally posted by noonebutme

Originally posted by jeasahtheseer
I have a daughter now and shes a good girl and never acts up but if she ever does I will have my WIFE discipline her. I don't think as a man I should discipline a girl. Having a man doing the discipline I could imagine would be traumatic and very scary to a little girl.

Wow, so you have [read: make] your wife administer the punishments and corrections? So she's always "the bad one" ?

What a cope out. Do you job mate, be a father and *father* your child. It's not a one way street.

Sheesh.

No but to be completely honest as a abused child myself I may have some weird violent tendencies deep down and I don't trust myself!

I dont want to risk hurting my daughter at all! Has nothing to do with having my wife do everything.

I have had EXTREME abuse when I was a child and I really don't trust myself with that I admit.

I just didn't say that in the post.

And we don't spoil her AT ALL and I think spoiling is the root of childrens discipline probs!


[edit on 28-7-2009 by jeasahtheseer]

reply to post by jeasahtheseer


That's a fair point. But i think that your experience has taught you what is and isnt an acceptable level of violence. I don't mean that to sound as bad as it looks, nor implying any slight on your circumstances.

All I'm saying is if anything, you'd be a good judge of what is and is not acceptable and a smack on the bum is enough for a small child to be shocked.

Originally posted by noonebutme
reply to post by jeasahtheseer

 

That's a fair point. But i think that your experience has taught you what is and isnt an acceptable level of violence. I don't mean that to sound as bad as it looks, nor implying any slight on your circumstances.

All I'm saying is if anything, you'd be a good judge of what is and is not acceptable and a smack on the bum is enough for a small child to be shocked.

I guess I am a "pussy" though like I said in my other post because I don't think I could ever do it!

We also don't spoil her at all though and spoiling imo is the root of a lot of discipline problems.

Because shes 4 going on 5 and she has never once acted out literally and I've heard that between ages 4 and 15 are the time kids most act out (we are young parents so we are just figuring this stuff out, neither of us had good parents as role models

Peace


[edit on 28-7-2009 by jeasahtheseer]

Originally posted by TheAmused
I am talking about spanking's.
Growing up it was part of life...No big deal i did something bad ..yelled at my mother or father.
I got a butt whopping from a man i thought was gonna kill me..But i knew he wasn't but still it taught me valuable lesson's.

I am not saying whoop ya kid's but for spilling a cup of pop.
But whoop it's butt if it throw's it across the room at you while telling you to shut up or mad at you!!

Here read the law's for each state.
www.familyrightsassociation.com...
I will use my state as a example

KENTUCKY Parent/guardian/person/teacher with care and supervision of minor can use force if person believes force necessary for welfare of child and force is not designed to cause or known to cause a substantial risk of causing death, serious physical injury, disfigurement, extreme pain, or extreme mental distress. Sec. 503.110.[Cr.]

One can claim Physical injury in that law..back track's..Your right to discipline ya child with a whooping.
Yes a child will say it hurt..Extreme pain...A whooping/spanking wasn't designed to tickle ya know.

So it leave's a loop hole for child service's when a school teacher stick's her nose in YOUR parental right's. to raise your child as you see fit.

Here is a example of what i speak of.
www.corpun.com...
Couple found not guilty of abuse for using belt to discipline child

A school authority reported the incident to Child Protective Services after reportedly seeing the mark on the boy's arm and hearing the boy say he'd been "whooped." Kay and Woods were arrested and charged with a misdemeanor count of child abuse before being acquitted after an estimated 35 minutes of jury deliberation in Fairfield.

They was arrested For Disciplining there kid..All because a Some new age hippy type..Thought a timeout might have worked better.
Called child service's..
Got them arrested..
But found NOT GUILTY for abuse on whopping with a belt.

That is why EVERYONE is afraid of what our government has become in a nutshell.
You are flat afraid of being arrested for whopping your child.

I have heard it a million time's in my life.
Some parent say's "I can't handle So and So"....anymore!!!
Have ya ever spanked the spoiled brat?
"No to many law's they get a bruise i get sent to jail".

Or "I tried once the child said it was gonna call the law on me"

Parent's THEY are YOUR kid's..Punish them how you see fit.
But don't let other's that are to candy butted to spank there kid's make you feel guilty for doing what YOU deem you parental right!!
And don't fear Child Service's...It's yoru right as That child's reason for being in this world to whoop it.

Look at America's youth.
Roll back the clock to the 40's and 50's & 60's.
Children Did not stand on street corner's to disrespect women.
That was a butt whooping when dad found out.

In those day's they saw a old lady fall down..they didn't laugh and go OH SNAP!!!! and keep walking.
In those day's they saw a car wreck they stopped to help all they could.
not keep driving.
Because they was taught respect.

Our 90's and y2k Generation are flat spoiled gangster's and wanna be gangster's.
Smart of at random adult's.
Disrespect women in manner's not even thought of.
More gang's than one person can shake a stick at.
Raise in crime peti and felon's.

They have no respect for nothing.
They care about themselves and what can do for them.

And it all boil's down to they was not taught Respect..The way you wanted to teach them.
Because of fear of whooping your kid..and child service's.


So handle ya kid's so people don't have to hurt them later in life when they try to jump someone and get killed.

If ya Think ya should not never whoop ya kid...
You are spoiled yourself and are teaching it to your very child as you speak.
Think on it.
Thank's for reading.

Whoop some respect in your children..You weak link's are killing America's society.


There is a difference in Beating a Child and Whooping it keep that in mind and Watch how much happier your family and life in general is once Your child Learn's respect.

Todays parents wrap their kids in cotton wool in order to protect them.
Their doing more long term harm than parents of 30 years ago.
Some parents reward their kids when they are bad in order to bribe them
and hopefully do the right thing. Kids are fast learners.

A lot of teenage kids are bastards, learned how to manipulate their
parents, and governments changed laws to allow kids to get away with it.

The solution is simple, remove all these stupid kiddie protection laws and bring back
the rules from 30 years ago. Go Back to the Future.

And ban all these Kid Psychiatrists, Councellors

Ok, on one caveat. Only if the police are allowed to beat adults with discretionary judgement.

Cannot believe the double standards here, and the folks who are proud of abusing children. You are low people. It's what happens when you have no brains and no clue how to parent the life you brought into the world.

It's not that simple. I was never spanked once and have never been in trouble, lead a good life. My kids have never been touched and are well behaved respectful and smart. If the kid is a punk, then you have already failed and spanking them will just make them an even more aggressive punk. Parenting techniques are quite simple yet unknown by most people. Spanking teaches children that the solution to a problem is violence. Sure there is the rare exception (the few who claim they were spanked but turned out fine) but this is rare believe it or not. There is absolutely no reason to hit a child, flick a child, "correct" a child -one of the terms that makes people feel less guilty. I will give you a basic example of parenting technique in both proper and broken methods.

broken method:

Your 6 year old is at a playground and acting up. You tell them 7 times you are taking them home if the don't behave. 8th time you grab them and spank them several times, they cry, run off, you keep chatting to your friends, you tell them 3 more times you are going home, spank them again, etc.

Why is this broken? Well you have just taught your child you do not do what you say, and then you taught them violence.

proper method:

Your 6 year old is at a playground and acting up. You tell them "behave hone that isn't how we play", they ignore you.. you pull them aside, "listen, if you do that again we are going home". They do it again. IMMEDIATELY you grab them and say "that's it we are going home, I told you NOT to do that". They are crying and screaming, you put them in the car and go home. Once they calm down you ask them to tell you why they were taken home, they say why, everything is understood.

What is good about this? They now know you do what you say and it required no hitting of any kind. So let's fast forward to the next park day or any outing. The child is acting up again, you warn them "if you do that again we are going home". And voila 9 out of 10 times since they know you mean business they fall into line. This method may take perseverance but as soon as they truly know you mean business they will fall into line.

Some say, well.. i hit them and they no I mean business and fall into line. You tell me what is better? Hitting your child or taking the non-violent route. Typically since you were hit you will continue the cycle and here we sit.

This is one of hundreds of techniques and the above works even better when you give your children a decent diet and not fill their gut with crap like most parents do. My 2c.

I agree that sometimes a damn good thrashing is the only way a modern child will learn, but in the rare cases it can be dealt with without violence. However, the parent must be an extremely good one to pull it off without resorting to smacks, and often that child will learn that you deserve neither to respected nor listened to.

I know someone who is an extremely good parent who never resorts to smacking, but she is the ONLY one I know of who can pull it off whilst making sure the child respects her.

I was bought up the old fashioned way and I'm glad I was. I would be a very different person now if I didn't fear the consequences of my actions! (Not in a good way)

I think it can help the child develop mentally too, allowing the child to make up their own mind about actions and consequences in all areas of life.... something that most kids these days lack!

reply to post by contemplator


You are very right! However, it takes a VERY good and strong willed parent to pull this off though. I see it everyday, children being threatened and never an outcome. So that child learns to ignore what you say because the parent is too weak to do anything anyway (and therefore loses respect for you).

In the end it comes down to basic psychology. Does a child want a strong, respectable parent or a weak, indecisive parent? It's the same in the animal kingdom.

[edit on 28-7-2009 by dodgygeeza]

There are other forms of discipline, rather than the physical.

If one beats a child for stealing a toy, does that child understand the concept of theft and the loss/vulnerability/frustration that it inflicts onto another persons life, or do they just fear the belt without proper comprehension of the crime?

Will they do it again if they know they can get away with it, or with they empathize with the victim and consider their actions carefully?

I personally don't believe in beating your child as a form of disciplinary action, but I also don't feel every parent should agree.

In moderation and under full restraint a "whooping" can be an effective tool, just not one in my toolbox.

- Lee

I'm glad I got an ass whupping for being a little S*$t when I was young. I didn't play up much but when I did, I learned very quick NOT to do it again....

I'll do the same for my kids, no matter what PC namby pamby wuss law is in at the time.

I'm no genius or super parent, but I have found that it just takes the culmination of several techniques and most of all consistency. My dad knocked me around and parented by fear. I resent him for it and it damn near ruined my life. I spent most of my teen years depressed and no self-esteem, I'm lucky I came out of it. I'm pleading to all those smackers on here, don't do it to your kids.. it may have been ok for you but people vary and you could be ruining their life. Try non violent techniques, try good diet, try consistency give it a few weeks and you will see a change for the better. Don't take the easy way out, these are your kids!

[edit on 28-7-2009 by contemplator]

Originally posted by BarryZuckercorn

Yelling "stop" is a long way from physically attacking the kid.

1. There's a huge difference between swatting a kid on the butt and "physically attacking" them. Drama queen much ?
2. There both forms of negative re-enforcement. So based on your response you are in favor of yelling at your child but no physical contact?

Been out in public around kids lately? They have the manors of a pack of hyena's.

Would hitting them solve that problem?

Well we know time out's, taking away their gameboys, etc... hasn't work now has it?
The problem is not actually the child but the failure of the parents.

There's a huge difference between swatting your kid on the butt and getting a beating from a cop with a night stick and the fact that you don't understand the difference disturbs me.

Then I'll disturb you some more: I also do not comprehend the difference.

If you can't figure out the difference, I can't explain it to you. Maybe this is part of the parents problem today ??? You don't have the ability to understand degrees so you pass that ignorance on to the child.

Perhaps you need to try to be smarter than your children.

I wish I along with the rest of society are too busy raising your because you refuse to.

All you're doing is teaching them that if they try other solutions and those solutions don't work then the appropriate recourse is to attack someone physically.

Not at all. You're teaching them that some types of behavior is not appropriate and that if they continue with said behavior, there will be negative consequences. Surprisingly this happens in REAL LIFE.
Here is a test to prove what I'm saying. Every day you get into your car, go 20 miles over the speed limit. After 2 weeks, tell me what happens. You will probably receive a number of tickets. Those tickets (negative re-enforcement) modify your inappropriate behavior.

Like I said before, I'm not in favor of BEATING a child but negative re-enforcement is part of life and if they never experience an meaningful negative re-enforcement, we as society will bear the burden of supporting your child indefinitely.

[edit on 28-7-2009 by jfj123]

[edit on 28-7-2009 by jfj123]

Originally posted by unityemissions
If I so choose to have kids one day, I will respect them. In doing so, they will hopefully respect me. I remember being a kid and getting whipped with the belt. It just encouraged me to not only continue, but to increase my mishaps.

#1) You are instantly disqualified from having an intelligent & informed opinion because "If I so choose to have kids one day"

#2) Your future kids will respect you; When you've established boundaries for their behavior. Else, they will increasingly despise you. Whippings won't matter.

#3) Obviously you didn't learn to honor your parents to the point the beatings continued.

Single high-profile news reports are instantly disqualified as arguing points since parents who abuse or butcher their children, as in the recent infant-killing mother that ate her baby, are most certainly chemically imbalanced and are unfit even for society.

So many non-smackers speak about their kids being good, well behaved, etc and include the fact of good diet and modelling , etc. This is all well and good when you have a child who will listen, who will adapt to your requests, who is not ruthlessly one-minded, who is pliable, thoughtful at times, etc. None of the processes for Positive Parenting work with children who are wholly intent on their own way no matter what... so what do you do then when they spit in your face, or tell you to F-Off, or any other worst behaviour scenario you can think of? No modern technique will work when a child refuses to co-operate with their parent.

I've heard many parents taking the Kudos for raising a good kid when the truth of the matter for most was that they only had an easy-going, pliable child to parent. I'd love to see with with a spirited, difficult, single-minded, manipulative child with high intelligence who runs rings around your child-raising practices.

To those who are afraid they may parent in a rough manner as they were raised. You choose your actions. At no time ever are you a victim to anything, you decide on your actions alone, so you are not Destined to follow the parenting patterns you learned. Being aware of that possibility within you means you know it is time to break the cycle.

As for the parent who suggested the park story where everyone in the family has to go home because of a brat's behaviour, needs to understand something else they are not seeing. Doing as you suggested will also teach this child that they have the power over what the family does and when. Not happy being in a place ? .... well just act up and the whole family has to stop what they are doing and go home!!

Not an effective thing to do is giving a small child the power over the remainder of the family, as they seek it, use it and attempt to make miles out of it for themselves.

In the end there is no right way of parenting, no matter what any of you believe about that. Each child is as unique to parent as is the adult doing the parenting. We all agree it is the hardest task in life, and one that provides the greatest rewards and worst kicks-in-the-gut. But I am sure none of us would want to have not had our children.

Originally posted by mikerussellus

Originally posted by muzzleflash
All of you who do not have kids yet think you know better .... SHUT IT.

Your ideas are retarded and i tried them and NONE WORKED.

The ONLY thing that worked in getting discipline was a good old whack on the rear.

No wonder kids are criminal scum to the max these days.

Fair Warning - Mess with my family and you will regret it eternally. That goes for you too .gov!

Had to leave the post for a few minutes. My 6 year old spilled pudding right next to his tv. No sweat. He then grabbed a very wet sponge and tried to clean it up. While the tv was on.

Now, those who 'nurture' might have done something different but I love my boy and don't want him electrocuted.

I swatted his hand, raised my voice, and told him in no uncertain terms NEVER, EVER, have water by a tv set.

I cleaned the mess. He is now watching tv, not homeless, not planning to rob a bank, not doing drugs.

I now know that he won't do that again. I don't want him to. He knows what I will do/say if he does do it again.

Boundries.
Limits.
Love.

None of that huggy, they are people with induvidualities, blah, blah, blah.

I agree with you (and TheAmused) 100%. I mean come on, parents trying to be their children's friends? How about trying to be their parents which is what they're supposed to be doing in the first place?

The arguments these new-age "treat your child as a equal" hippies are using are as ridiculous as their parenting techniques.

Originally posted by jfj123

Originally posted by BarryZuckercorn

Yelling "stop" is a long way from physically attacking the kid.

1. There's a huge difference between swatting a kid on the butt and "physically attacking" them. Drama queen much ?
2. There both forms of negative re-enforcement. So based on your response you are in favor of yelling at your child but no physical contact?

Been out in public around kids lately? They have the manors of a pack of hyena's.

Would hitting them solve that problem?

Well we know time out's, taking away their gameboys, etc... hasn't work now has it?
The problem is not actually the child but the failure of the parents.

There's a huge difference between swatting your kid on the butt and getting a beating from a cop with a night stick and the fact that you don't understand the difference disturbs me.

Then I'll disturb you some more: I also do not comprehend the difference.

If you can't figure out the difference, I can't explain it to you. Maybe this is part of the parents problem today ??? You don't have the ability to understand degrees so you pass that ignorance on to the child.

Perhaps you need to try to be smarter than your children.

I wish I along with the rest of society are too busy raising your because you refuse to.

All you're doing is teaching them that if they try other solutions and those solutions don't work then the appropriate recourse is to attack someone physically.

Not at all. You're teaching them that some types of behavior is not appropriate and that if they continue with said behavior, there will be negative consequences. Surprisingly this happens in REAL LIFE.
Here is a test to prove what I'm saying. Every day you get into your car, go 20 miles over the speed limit. After 2 weeks, tell me what happens. You will probably receive a number of tickets. Those tickets (negative re-enforcement) modify your inappropriate behavior.

Like I said before, I'm not in favor of BEATING a child but negative re-enforcement is part of life and if they never experience an meaningful negative re-enforcement, we as society will bear the burden of supporting your child indefinitely.

[edit on 28-7-2009 by jfj123]

[edit on 28-7-2009 by jfj123]

Oh PUHLEEEEZ GTFO with that utter nonsense. Are you seriously saying there is no negative re-enforcement possible without physical abuse? It damn well sounds like it. My kid throws a tantrum while playing some xbox the xbox is taken away, next time they don't throw a tantrum. I guess I should have just said "quit that stupid sh%$@#! smack!! smack!! thast'll learn ya!!". Man, humans will NEVER evolve to use half a brain, we are truly doomed to live among ignorant masses. It is truly mind boggling watching people defend physical abuse in any way shape or form. I'm going to get the hell out of this thread before my head explodes. Enjoy smacking your kids around because you're too lazy to learn it never had to be an option. Kid beaters defend their 'right' to abuse with religious fervor leaving rational thought behind.

I think that spankings if used sparingly and not done with enough force to injure the child is very appropriate.

If spankings for younger kids are saved for those things they do that are life threatening...playing with electric sockets, running toward the street and other dangers, it makes a huge impact. When people smack their kids for every misstep then it is abuse and it is really not effective.

As they get older things like outright disrespect and violations of serious family standards, I repeat SERIOUS standards, is also appropriate. I have 5 children that are now grown and their level of respect for me and their elders far exceeds that of both their abused friends/relatives and those that had no discipline.

In NY if you strike your child with ANYTHING it is a violation of the law. A couple years ago a woman went to jail for spanking her 4 year old with one of those terrycloth slippers! Ridiculous!

Yes I thank my Mother and My Uncle for whipping the fire out of me when I was a child. I have cousins that were not disciplined as much and most of them are total losers now. I mean seriously when CPS comes in and takes Your children because of Your drug habits wouldn't that label You as a looser?

I will be forever gratefull to my grand mother for giving me a spanking when I was either lazy, disrespectfull or disobedient. I can now notice that it has done me a world of good.

What I got from my mother was a different story, kicking a kid in the stomach or picking it up by the pony tail is ABUSE!
So I think I can safely say I know the difference. Im all for diciplining your children, as long as you dont cause psycological damage.

Kids these days are soooo anoying, they sit like fat blobs in front of the tv playing PS the entire day, and the sun is shing! Eating and playing tv games is the only thing that matters to them.!!!

you are absolutely right. God even mandates it.

this is instruction to the parents:


As the Bible tells us: "He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes" (Proverbs 13:24)

"Withhold not correction from a child: for if thou strike him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell." (Proverbs 23:13-14)


Ephesians6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Instructions to the Children:

Ephesians 6

1Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

2Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;

3That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.