Why do women break up with nice guys?

"It is not difficult to get women to come over to this house and take off their clothes. It is not a commodity which will go extinct any time soon or is rare/difficult by which to obtain.. "

Easy for any "badboy" to say.

Yes we are more than sex.. but you gotta admit there is maldistribution of "wealth" and here you are telling women to be chaste but also they make take it to also mean be chaste with the 'nice guys' that deserve a little something. Because of course the deprived nice guy is going to feel like he might need a little something.

Originally posted by The Quiet Storm
Yes we are more than sex.. but you gotta admit there is maldistribution of "wealth" and here you are telling women to be chaste but also they make take it to also mean be chaste with the 'nice guys' that deserve a little something. Because of course the deprived nice guy is going to feel like he might need a little something.

"Need a little something"? Deserve it? For being "nice" and horny?

Try masturbation...... some more.

Saying you are somehow entitled to sex as though the women of the world collectively owe you it just for being a "nice guy" makes you NOT a nice guy. Khama credits do not obligate women to be prostitutes for your "niceties".

Originally posted by The Quiet Storm
"It is not difficult to get women to come over to this house and take off their clothes. It is not a commodity which will go extinct any time soon or is rare/difficult by which to obtain.. "

Easy for any "badboy" to say.

Yes we are more than sex.. but you gotta admit there is maldistribution of "wealth" and here you are telling women to be chaste but also they make take it to also mean be chaste with the 'nice guys' that deserve a little something. Because of course the deprived nice guy is going to feel like he might need a little something.

A maldistribution of "wealth." You are losing me here. You need to clarify for my very provincial thinking.

I am not telling women to be chaste at all. I dont care if they are chaste or not. That is their choice and business..not mine.

I am saying that if " oil shortage mentality" is all they have ..both male and female..they are high maintenance..both of them. People are so much more than sex and sexuality..more than an oil shortage.
I dont recommend you clearly demonstrate your one track thinking here. If I can see it ..women can most certainly see it from miles away in the dark..like radar homing in or conversely ..avoiding.

The women I know can come over and take off their clothes ..no problem by me. Or they can not take off their clothes. Again no problem by me. But I am not impressed by either of these roads they might take. I require more from a woman in whom I choose to spend my valuable time and monies than this one skill. If either one of these is all they have ..they are to me high maintenance.

Ahh..what a bonehead...I got it now..."Wealth" you think that sex and sexuality are "wealth" in a woman. Wow!!!
I dont think so. Not at all. Once again..if this is all she has...she is high maintenance. She can keep it ..verses a woman with some real life skills and knowledges.

Oh..and I dont care if a woman likes what I think on the topic..or men either. There is no oil shortage or oil shortage mentality here at this location. And it has nothing to do with being a "badboy."
Most of the badboys I ever knew are dead or in jail. I dont think much of "Badboys" as well.

I just got out of a nuclear reactor this morning where I picked up about 5mr. I take risks for my monies. I don't care what a woman or other men think of my understandings or beliefs. I know that when I choose to spend time and monies on a woman she had better have real values to offer because I know what are real risks in earning my monies. And taking off her clothes is not it. I know at least a dozen women who can do this. It is not rare or endangered. Once you mature enough to understand this ...you know you dont have to take such second place behavior from them...when you take first place risks for your monies and time. Nor do you have to suffer second place thinking from other males whose prime directive is an "Oil shortage" mentality.


Ok...Riley..I'm ok..now...I'm OK!!! I've cooled down a bit now!!

Hope all is well with you down under.

Thanks,
Orangetom

Originally posted by orangetom1999
Ahh..what a bonehead...I got it now..."Wealth" you think that sex and sexuality are "wealth" in a woman. Wow!!!
I dont think so. Not at all.

THANKYOU!

Yes he is saying female sexuality is a commodity. Goods and services that we are obligated to distribute according to

....lack of oil changes.

Ok...Riley..I'm ok..now...I'm OK!!! I've cooled down a bit now!!

Hope all is well with you down under.

You're alright.

Me? Not sure. I just found out down under is meant to be given out freely according to how hard up someone is. Yep.. that is really "nice". Charity starts at home.. give yourselves a helping hand.

I also have deja vu. Didn't we aleady have the "go see a prostitute" conversation with this nice guy?

Maybe I'm communicating the wrong thing or in the wrong way. You misunderstand me.

I understand it shouldn't be treated as a commodity (sex).

Though, it's not hard to understand that nice guys are deprived... and just because one acts needy, don't judge him. It's natural, and biological. I'm not saying that one should give sex to "nice and good guys". I'm not saying that at all.. but I'm just saying one should understand him if he acts needy and deprived, because physically he is. If he deosn't have the tools necessary to be able to transmute the sexual energies it can and does build up inside and causes physiological and psychological damage, and makes a person physically needy.

The same happens with women but nobody denies it.

So don't misunderstand him... I would be the same way about women.

But I wouldn't be like "oh stop treating it like it's a commodity"... as if I think all women are beneath me and lowly. I'd just be like: "i'm sorry"

Come on, you know I mean well.

I'm starting to think you're shills that try to discredit anyone who says anything REAL.

But again, maybe I'm just not communicating in the right way. But please.. STOP with all the patronizing, and condescending language.

I'm only saying this because.. it's very common for most women to see that if a guy is acting needy he's just being selfish and wrong, and a bunch of things.

Further.. "bad boys" can also be seen as being needy but in a different way: violently. But women might submit to this, and think it's ok because of faulty thinking.. ie the more violent he is the more passionate he is.

Though.. when women are needy of sex, or much else it's never thought about twice.

Double standards. There's no such thing as "sex is being treated as a commodity, etc". It's just understood!

yes people can learn to trnsmute their sexual energies, but not all know how to do this. In the case that a person is unable to at least learn, or learn to deal with it.. understanding is probably best and the very least! Recognition, as a human being. Not patronizing, or condescending language.

So when a "good/nice guy" is acting needy he's associated with this, and it's wrong, etc. He's treated in very cruel ways, and he's left alone. To suffer all by himself, with no way out he sees.

In any case it's best to teach a person to be able to live independently, so that he doesn't need a teacher no more.

Consequently.. socio-sexual acceptance makes a person more and more independent, but only the right type of acceptance and teaching.

Here a quote from Marnia Robinson's "Cupid's Poisoned Arrow":

Whatever the precise mechanism, an excessive reward stimulus primes your brain for a second experience or substance. Your reward circuitry is on that escalating neurochemical roller coaster, seeking satisfaction, but too shortsighted to realize that more stimulation will soon leave you profoundly unsatisfied. In contrast, affectionate social interaction, which also actives the reward circuitry--meaning it, too, feels good--does just the opposite. It is soothing enough to help protect you from the urge to reach for another stimulating fix. Friendly social interaction therefore leads to greater satisfaction.

----------

And she's talking about the sacred forms of sex that does not even necessitate 'physical intercourse', or even if so, but doesn't require an orgasm or ejaculation.

A person exchanges sexual energies all the time during social interaction. Even this can be enough to be a complete sexual experience for one, for it's a complete social experience.

So if it's really understood, and cared for .. a person who is deprived could at least be understood, and recognized. That might be enough affectionate social interaction to make one feel accepted in the society, as a functioning human being, integrated into his own society.

Instead of being patronized.

Now I'm not talking about pedophiles, and rapists, etc.

Please.. I'm talking about normal human beings with physical needs (for healthy sustenance) just like you and I. Even Maslow's Hierarchy speaks of social acceptance.. that includes sexual for sexual is an aspect of social acceptance.

It's not just 'immaterial, new agey, emotional, bla bla". it is grounded in the physical as well as energetic, in the unconscious physiological as well as mental physiological, biological concepts.

Do I really need a prostitute to have a SIMPLE conversation with a woman who would withhold judgement?

No I do not. Do I need a psychologist because people are cruel and don't want to be friends with people who are less popular than them? No they don't either.

People with disabilities have programs so that they can the type of social interaction they need. Why is it not seen in the same light?

Pity used to be better than patronizing and condescending language. Sure, pity is lowly, but when you've got nothing else... it is not outcasting, and it is not despising. It can be a helping hand. It can be a saving grace instead of being cast out left to suffer alone, in a place where no sustenance is found, and kept there so that person can die.

Now.. it's not "popular" to pity at all.. one would rather patronize, and kill a person than to pity him/her. That's the dehumanizing agenda, thats the de-sentisization agenda.

Originally posted by The Quiet Storm
Do I really need a prostitute to have a SIMPLE conversation with a woman who would withhold judgement?

No I do not. Do I need a psychologist because people are cruel and don't want to be friends with people who are less popular than them? No they don't either.

People with disabilities have programs so that they can the type of social interaction they need. Why is it not seen in the same light?

Pity used to be better than patronizing and condescending language. Sure, pity is lowly, but when you've got nothing else... it is not outcasting, and it is not despising. It can be a helping hand. It can be a saving grace instead of being cast out left to suffer alone, in a place where no sustenance is found, and kept there so that person can die.

Now.. it's not "popular" to pity at all.. one would rather patronize, and kill a person than to pity him/her. That's the dehumanizing agenda, thats the de-sentisization agenda.

edit on 30-10-2010 by The Quiet Storm because: (no reason given)

Dude,

Are you a female?? You certainly emote like a female. You expect and think like many females.

I keep saying that women are way more competitive than most males even suspect. If you are conducting yourself here on ATS/BTS like a female complete with train wreck emotions, why would you be surprised when competitive females find contempt for you and your belief systems. You have mostly book knowledge on which to fall back. It becomes clear that you have no real experience with women/females..just classroom/book knowledge. By the time many of them get done hearing your book knowledge they will have fallen asleep and or are not interested in taking off their clothes for you. Have you ever figured this out for yourself??

There is a time when class is out and real knowledge, intuition, are put to work to become experience. This often takes a very different turn than that which one learns in classroom and books.

Women as a whole are not looking for competition from a man or males. They are looking for options. Got that..not competition?? Are you catching on here??

While I dint recommend it for women or females...even bad boys offer females options as compared to a man with no experience. The problem with bad boys, in like manner to air headed females, is that they cannot go the distance. They are commitment phobes and most of them wind up dead or in jail as a career move.
Air headed females wind up either in jail or they catch a man more ignorant than they and just before the biology runs out and it becomes pumpkin time.

What would make you think that competitive women are looking for high maintenance pity in a man?? What type of school have you been attending??
Most women of any maturity are looking for a man with disciplines to bring them options. Not competition. They are not looking for a high maintenance man or male. Are you catching on to why some females out here would look upon you with contempt. Your lack of discipline, and experience can be seen by females like radar in the dark from mile and miles away. This translates instinctively to them as a lack of confidence. Therefore they tend to put distance between you and them. I suspect you have had this experience many times.
Even a :"Bad Boy" can put up the illusion of confidence ..even short term ..sufficient for many of the females out here..until they finally catch on.

No one, male or female, has the duty or obligation to show you pity or any such consideration. Why would you be so foolish as to post such a concept as a default setting to play through.

Do you not know that it is the female who usually exerts such default settings to play through unquestioned and unchallenged by undefined social constructs..not the male??

Do yo not know that when you are a male and a man out here among the wildlife..that you will often be walking alone. No one is coming to rescue you. No one is coming to save you. You must solve your problems and most often alone in the mine field of wildlife. You must do this and come back alive and whole. No one wants to know how it is done or what difficulties you had to face. They just want you to fill up the buffet line for others and without risk or sacrifice to them. They want to be able to direct you in doing this ...for them.

Where in concepts, know ledges, and understandings like this do you see the offer or requirement of pity???

What world are you living in and if this is your knowledge, understanding, belief, and expectation..I must ask myself who has been providing the security/safety blanket for you??

This is why I ask are you a female.

Hope this helps you Quiet Storm,
Orangetom

I don't masturbate. That makes me different from the males who just masturbate all their female problems away, but end up depleted. Women should not just tell males who feel alone to just masturbate their feelings away. Males should not tell another who does not masturbate that "dude just because you don't masturbate doesn't give you the right to have feelings!"

These are not just "emotions". THESE ARE BIOLOGICAL. Like sandpaper rubbing against your skin damages the skin. Like ingesting poison destroys the body.

So when a woman feels like she needs someone it's totally ok. But a man?

What makes you think ORANGE TOM that "needy depressed emotions" like the ones you thought I had are simply reserved for women, and that it's ok for women and not men? Are you communicating that only women have the capacity for such 'lowly feelings and thoughts'?

ARE YOU SEXIST??? I have thought this. Suffering is not gender specific. Nor is the communication and expression of suffering.

Unfortunately, to learn to transmute that energy can be hard since there's not much information on it available and the society is not very conduce either, at least this society.

Again I quote "If he deosn't have the tools necessary to be able to transmute the sexual energies it can and does build up inside and causes physiological and psychological damage, and makes a person physically needy." and "In any case it's best to teach a person to be able to live independently, so that he doesn't need a teacher no more."

In this case, it's best to help a person to be able to live independently. Not patronize, not insult, no demonize. Nor kill him obviously.

and these things are complex to find the solution for at least, medicinally. The best cure though is stabilization by social therapy, though in this dysfunctional soc-iety it's harder to find this. In the meantime I stick with myself but also others would have to stick with me, because until I find that solution I'm that "emotional wreck" you would talk about. Most would recommend I see a psychatrist to poison myself into unconsciousness. Wow that's a holistic treatment.

So do you think only women can be deprived? That's sexist.

Im tired of your patronization. You and riley's. You're both shills. Maybe not riley, at least I would not like to think so. But riley you seem very close-minded. I don't resort to name calling or put downs. I'm just honest.

"Do I really need a prostitute to have a SIMPLE conversation with a woman who would withhold judgement?

No I do not. Do I need a psychologist because people are cruel and don't want to be friends with people who are less popular than them? No they don't either."


What do you think this teaches me.. if just to have a simple normal conversation with a woman I'd need to pay her? Isn't that prostitution? Do I need to learn that women are prostitutes? No I don't.

Sexual Confidence is based off of experiance.

I.E. Those who have Sex THROWN at them... for whatever Reason, are Confident in their sexuality.

While the people that *THEY* disparage (to prevent Competition for the female Resources) are labled as "Losers" "Nice Guys", whatever...

IT is a Shell Game.

They are attempting to preserve the Status Quo, because the Status Quo Benefits them... and they Use Shaming Language to attempt to belittle these "Nice Guys" because they do not want competition.

And we all know that women are SUCKERS for the Guys at the top of the "Social Pyramid"

Do any of you know why Our Tax dollars for Education are spent on giving a small group of men Supreme Social Status and Sexual Access to Females in High School?

"Leadership Skills" they say....

Yeah... because Leadership is a skill that only needs to be taught to morons who's life's ambition is running with a [snip] ball.

Women are naturally Hypergamous in nature.... they seek out the Men that are "Higher" on the Social or Financial ladder.

And when this Social Ladder is Artificially Induced to Reward Neanderthal Idiots....

Well.... did you guys hear the one about DARPA claiming that there were SO FEW smart computer people in the nation, that it was a National Security Risk?

www.wired.com...


No One *WANTS* to be the Smart, Bookish Nerd who learns, and knows how to keep a Civilization Going.

They would all rather be like the people they see as *SUCCESSFUL* with the ladies.

The Athlete, the Actor, the Entertainer.


And our society worships them SO MUCH, that it is all that women are attracted to.

The Mook:

Google Video Link

The Guido, the Player.


The Western Economy is FAILING, because no man with a BRAIN in his head, wants Western Women who Worship the most useless morons in the world.

The ones that the Television TELLS THEM are Sexual Gods.


Oh, and let's not forget about the long line of "Nerds" on television.

Always portrayed as socially inept losers....

Don't want to hang out with losers, eh?

I guess they won't be getting any social Skills then, will they?

IT is a self fulfilling prophecy, because Americans are too stupid to differentiate Fantasy, from Reality.



Oh, and ANYONE who Calls these "Nice Guys" *LOSERS* or "They are actually Creeps" or something, is a selfish [snip] who does not care who's head they have to step on in order to Get Off as many times as possible before they die.

These are the same people who believe that they *DESERVE* Cell phones, and Electricity, and Refrigeration, and Computers.... when they will not SPEND ONE SINGLE MINUTE to understand how our world works, or what is required to keep it from following the Roman Empire down the Drain.

Because they are too busy "Playing a Game" with other peoples lives, and keeping their potential competition oppressed with Childish Insults.

-Edrick

In a Word, Western Women are Spoiled Rotten, by the Western Men who ingratiate their sense of Entitlement.

Remember kids... The United States does not need Educated, Enlightened, Creative individuals....


IT NEEDS MORE PLAYERS!

-Edrick (Good luck with your Economy)

Oh, I just had a Question for everyone here....

Why is it that Shy Women have so much trouble Getting Laid?

-Edrick (I would like an answer)

Any of you guys ever heard of the Word: "Lothario"?

en.wiktionary.org...

It is an interesting Word, that was used as an insult.... Back in the day when people still acted like people, instead of Animals.



-Edrick

reply to post by SuperSlovak


I can also give you insight...I like nice guys, but I don't like boring guys.

boring, schmoring...

on another tangent....

there's no such thing as negative emotions, only hunger.

“There is no way of influencing men so powerfully as by means of the women. These should therefore be our chief study; we should insinuate ourselves into their good opinion, give them hints of emancipation from the tyranny of public opinion and of standing up for themselves; it will be an immense relief to their enslaved minds to be freed from any one bond of restraint, and it will fire them more, and cause them to work for us with zeal, without knowing that they do so; for they will only be indulging their own desire of personal admiration.”

Adam Weishaupt found of the Illumunati 1776.

Had to use that.

Originally posted by laiguana
reply to post by SuperSlovak

 

I can also give you insight...I like nice guys, but I don't like boring guys.

Hey guys, are you as entertaining as the Fake characters and situations on television? No? Good luck getting laid.

(Warning: NSFW - Humorous use of Coarse Language)


-Edrick

reply to post by The Quiet Storm


The Quiet Storm.

Suffering is not gender specific

I totally agree. Suffering is not gender specific. However..it is you who are posting the pity party. Not others out here. You are not a martyr here and I don't pity you or anyone else on this topic.

While I am not pone to hanging out alot of my laundry..my "life experiences" include women chasing me as well as the mothers of some of the females I have been seeing. It is obvious that you have little knowledge of how aggressive women of all types can be. As I have posted numerous times...just because a woman does not hunt and gather as does a man..this does not mean she is not a "hunter gatherer."

Once I bought my home it quickly became obvious how many women were interested in moving in to "nest" with or without children. They were looking for "options" from what they were interested in leaving behind. Much of this "Hunting and Gathering" was contingent on them keeping you looking and thinking on only that which they desired for you to look and muse upon.

Though.. when women are needy of sex, or much else it's never thought about twice.

You are deceiving yourself here. I know or have known women/females who desire sex very much and they don't suffer rejection or an "Oil shortage" any better than do many males.

You can tell this by the very nature of the wildlife so often posted for all the world to see in the talk show circuits where they become meat on the table of emotions and made merchandise by the media and hosts of these shows. These shows are just as common/vulgar as the people involved.

Do not kid yourself..women do not suffer rejection any better than men. The difference is in female socialization standards and beliefs. Women think they are due more consideration by default. It is not so. If you want equality ...the defaults have to go. Same for males. And Pity is not a default. Neither is whining. This should be obvious by the results you get both in life and here on boards like this from women/females.

That you do not know this pattern about female rejection is very telling of your lack of experience and knowledge in this world.

I could fill up a whole chapter with the women who were ready to come over to this house and I did not want them here..the nasty messages on my answer machine.

Double standards. There's no such thing as "sex is being treated as a commodity, etc". It's just understood!

It is not understood by me.

I'll give you a example of double standards. I have certain skills which took a considerable amount of time to learn and apply with discipline. I don't mean sexual skills. I mean mind and hand skills. Building and repairing things.
I get aggravated with women who think that my main role or default/understanding is to facilitate them through life's difficulties with my skills. Repairing their homes, cars,,etc. In this manner they can have life without difficulties and control of someone else to "flash dance " them through life's hardships while they eat fully off the buffet line. If they want to live a certain type of life ..it is not my prime directive to "Flash dance" through these difficulties...children or not. They need to learn to handle it themselves or pay someone to do it.
This is to me very similar to how many women feel and coin their sexuality into other valuables commodities. I don't go along with it. And if you haven't learned this lesson...as of yet...I suggest you learn quickly.
I am not someone to pull the wagon for them while they are still putting more stuff in the wagon to be pulled while they ride.

Once I learned this..I began to look closely at female socialization and beliefs ..particularly in western economically affluent social structures. You need to do the same and stop whining. You are going to run into this out there. No skills and mostly high maintenance requirements.

Please.. I'm talking about normal human beings with physical needs (for healthy sustenance) just like you and I. Even Maslow's Hierarchy speaks of social acceptance.. that includes sexual for sexual is an aspect of social acceptance.

It's not just 'immaterial, new agey, emotional, bla bla". it is grounded in the physical as well as energetic, in the unconscious physiological as well as mental physiological, biological concepts.

I don't give two hoots for Abraham Maslow and his hierarchy of needs or about social acceptance. I have to get along with people at work..but when I leave work I am very unsocial. I don't care who approves or disapproves. I don't run with many people outside of work. I am pretty much a loner and don't care who approves or disapproves.
I'm driving this bus.
The difference here The Quiet One is that I can think and function outside of an Oil Shortage mentality. For I know that it is not a commodity in short supply.

Piece is not a rare or endangered commodity out here.

Peace is indeed a rare or endangered commodity out here.

Neither Males nor Females seem to know much about this today in lieu of their high maintenance requirements.



Edrick,

IT is a Shell Game.

Pretty much correct in this. Some have caught on to it and are asking some hard questions.

Yeah... because Leadership is a skill that only needs to be taught to morons who's life's ambition is running with a [snip] ball.

LOL LOL..I never did take to such team sports. Don't and won't watch them to this day. I have no interest in worshiping the gods of sports nor the products they advertise. I am not interested in such expendability and disposability as a lifestyle...nor such worship.

Women are naturally Hypergamous in nature.... they seek out the Men that are "Higher" on the Social or Financial ladder.

This is sometimes called marrying up the social/economic ladder. You don't usually see advertisements for diamonds where the woman is smiling at the garbage pick up guy and the diamond he can afford.

Because they are too busy "Playing a Game" with other peoples lives, and keeping their potential competition oppressed with Childish Insults.

Agree here. This has become the fingerprint of excellence to be sought after today. Not how much one knows or can do..but how much one can feed off others while looking good.
Television and movies parasite off this template to groom the next generation of malleable voters/consumers.

Thanks,
Orangetom