posted on Aug, 15 2008 @ 05:16 AM
It is a pity,
had hoped one would have understood me here.... meanwhile I am used to it.
Not from this level?
Always on the search, always, the struktuierte life assumed what one of me expected... broken out. something was in me, but what?? Why have I never
got an answer?? On the contrary, one has taken my trust from me, my love to me. have I ever loved each other myself? Doubt. Doubt about truth and
untruthfulness. who is right? my heart? which? I did not feel it any more. My mind? Which? because where numerous imagination was stacked in it? to
itself this resisted round me to understand? Why also, they also did not understand me. Understood me only if I believed myself like a puppet, led by
Möchtegernwisser! I doubted everything. Fear came. Stealthily... sleepless nights. Fear of the darkness. . this long dark tunnel... the feeling to be
lost. Shortly before the sleep what pulled me on the feet. tried to pull me from my bodies. Fear. I knew it does not feel well... spoke with me, what
told me about love. was so cold... was no love. wanted me. my strength. my power which I did not know. Nobody could help me. everybody spoke of
dreams... keep up, my only thought, it became stronger. Help in request, got tips, said, it is an angel.... An angel? no. Truth... what is the
truth.... Besides, I was to be given up me. To go well-thought-out to the clinic. Give me a new head with normal thoughts. I lay on the ground and
stood with a leg in the hell. Wept. desperately. According to shouted. Where was I?? Where was Sandra who could play with your hips which had only
played anyhow... Was this the calculation?? But, nevertheless, I have only looked. They got always closer, these dark figures. I could touch them. I
caught in to fight. dreadful fights. The beings which I have never foreseen. Should this be my way? please not. I caught in to pray. The God if there
are you help me. I was tormented. Today I know, it was my way I had to go around of reaching there where I stand today. To recognise what well and is
angry. To help person who are ill, physically as well as spiritually. And I know what I have searched. Although I have not found it on earth yet, I
know the feeling of my angels. It is warm, tangentially naive, nice. If my angel whom I can also touch with myself is, oh one, is nice he, bright,
honestly bedinungslos. We laugh, tell, they have checked to me the curing begebracht, I know the poverty, I have not forgotten as it is and it does
not become. They give me the security which I need. I believe. They have taught me to trust myself. My work is based only from the heart. If I am
ready, I am a person. My angel, takes me, comforts me, in the times where I fight immernoch, not with my fear, but with those of others. Partially
feel I me alone, then he takes me in his wings and gives to me what I search here on earth. Love. He loves me as well as I am, I must not pretend, I
can be strong sometimes and be weak sometimes. It goes by the whole body and in winter I switch off the heating. I know it this will give for me also
on earth, somewhere. If he says it me, I believe it. Until now everything was right what he told me and he protects me. I have already got to know
extraterrestrial, good, as well as bad ones. Unfortunately, there also is nastily. They have no emotions like us. They are struktuiert, they do not
know the love. They know no music. They try to crib it from us, but you lack the emotions. Though, therefore, they can produce tones, but no melody.
Some tell, they are friends. The friends against whom I might fight with my angels then because they have tried to take the earth in your possession.
They scan us, clonen to us, put on Illussionkappen. They are cold. Coldly like metal. They appear as more and more often because the world has just
got cold. Power has become the subject. Where the imagination is the still elves and fairies knew. There is only monster. Children play already with
it and give you unaware strength. I