I Want OUT!!!!!!

This world HAS no lasting pleasures.

I used to be in the same place OP!
Do you know what it's like to think that aliens have you under a glass, performing tests on you?
That you are a cosmic joke and NO ONE cares?
I do!
Do you know what happens when you take an overdose of stelazine? or slit your wrists?

I did all that.
I thought What's going on?
My grandmother shot herself in the head with my mom in the next room.
She was weak, much like I was, but, I would never do that to a child!
Finally, I asked "God, if your real, let me FEEL you."
I had the most AWESOME power flow through me!

I was still the same selfish, hard-on-myself, person I was before.
I started taking care of my nephews and THAT was what started me on a trail of love.
I still had SO much turmoil!
I drank at night after they were asleep, before I would socialize and in the morning, I would take speed ALL day to keep going, but, I would have died for my little nephews!
It took MORE and MORE to keep me going.
I finally asked Jesus to forgive me. (Long story)
and He did and I KNEW everything was different and I wasn't just a piece of meat!
Peace to you, my friend!

We're not just here to be spectacles of misery!

[edit on 19-7-2008 by Clearskies]

i have days like this as well. wit's end. end of the rope. lose all hope. just want to give up and go....with the flow or away.

just vent, recharge, and carry on. don't give up or give in...they win.

as many have already said, strength in numbers and in recognizing what is not right for what it is. we need more people to notice.

I too have had the feeling that I chose to be here, now at this all-important time. I too have wondered "why?" on many occasions, "WHY would I choose this?" I have never had the audacity to demand release from such a commitment; it seems like blasphemy.

If it is true, if some of us did choose to be here, than surely we are each here for a specific reason. Either your mission has not yet materialized in your life, or perhaps it has and you are balking it. If you can acheive peace within yourself, you will gravitate to the right path naturally. Some of the sights along the way may be dark and hellish, but the reward will be great, I can promise you.

There's a lot of hatred and pain in the words you have chosen. Dwelling on these emotions can only cause you further misery. Emotions are a powerful force of energy within us. They can bring us up or down like a rollercoaster... or we can learn to harness them and redirect them for good. Meditation (or your otherwise spiritual connection mode of choice) is helpful to strengthen your focus.

It might help to shift your attention from the big, awful picture to your own sphere of influence. Pithy as it may sound, you can make a difference simply by being a positive force with every person you come in contact with. You can make the most impact by enjoying life with your family & loved ones, and trying to make everyone else's day better around you while you carry out your commitments. Alternatively, if you continue to carry this anger around inside of you, it will be thrown back at you at every encounter; we humans are quite sensitve to the tone of other peoples' emotions and usually end up mirroring them.

Originally posted by XcLuciFer
This is more of an affirmation then anything, I don't really care what people think of what I'm writing. I'm writing this in the hopes that who ever or what ever is in control, it or they, will hear my distaste for the sorry existence that people call life! It can't take it anymore everyday I wake up and find that I'm surrounded by stupidity! I don't feel Human, I can't be Human. I feel alone, disconnected. Its hard to put into words just how ridiculous I have come to find life to be on this planet. Its as though some one decided to play a practical joke on me and they've taken it to far!! Well enough is enough.....I want to wake up for this bad dream. I don't even begin to understand how things are allowed to go on as they are, its unfathomable that people are killing each other over nothing!!! Really examine ever war that has ever been fought, their is no justifiable reason to be so cruel to your own kind. How could one torture or watch something living, suffer the why that Humans do. And you would think that killing another Human being would be as low as one can get but no think agin, someone had a great idea instead of killing them, find ways to make them scream in agony! What a joy, Humans love seeing others being mutilated, helpless and terrified so much that we have Hollywood bluckbusters like chainsaw massacre. This is worse than a bad dream because no matter how hard I try I can't seem to wake up. I didn't sign up for this, and I demand to be relocated, released. I do not want to be here to watch these animals destroy what once was and still could be a paradise. why should I have to stuffer along with these MONSTERS!!! Their is supposed to be balance in the universe, yet I see none here. What crime could my soul have commited to deserve such damnation. Who would create such a vile cage for its personers? I demand an answer! I demand an explanation for this contempt, this hatetred which is being displayed in a unscapable arena. How much pain must I endure before I am redeemed? I BEG of you, GIVE ME LEAVE!

My dear friend, you are obviously on the edge of the abyss and in an existential crisis. I *seriously* recommend you pick up Ken Wilber's A Brief History of Everything. He speaks to this exact experience.

reply to post by XcLuciFer

All that it takes for evil to triumph is to have good men stand by and do nothing.

I don't know who said it..but sooner or later we are all going to have to make a personal choice..submit to the rule of the masses..or chart our own personal course for freedom. Navigate the pitfalls of debt and servitude..and using the system that our forefathers laid down assert our collective will.
Stand up and get hammered down and stand up again or fall and another stands in our place. Struggle Fight..accept the injustice that the organs of state can heap upon you. They will leave you no place to hide and yet hide you must until the day comes.
Its a stupid planet..and we and our own selfish quests for personal security drives a multitude of sins.
Treason doth never prosper for if it prosper none dare call it treason.
We can do better but it will have to start in our own worlds..our buying choices..political choices..all the way down the line. Change happens but it seems to us to take such a long long time..and patience is in short supply.
I don't if we can win..and what winning even entails..but I know each of us has to try..for our own and our childrens sakes. A war on terror that lasts 100 years is not a legacy that I want to leave to my childrens children.
Time for all of us to get involved in the political process.

I can SO RELATE to the sentiments of the OP! You see, I have no real pity for myself, but I feel like I took a wrong turn somewhere in coming to this meat grinder of a planet.

And its not just about humans; The entire history and architecture of this existence is rife with predation, barbarism, competition, survival of the fittest, one species usurping the other, disease, warfare, and endless bloodshed. I feel like my soul punched the wrong coordinates into the GPS and I ended up in this bloodbath called earth! I also do not consent to anymore of this barbarism (or to any cruel Oversoul who is responsible for such a "game" as this!).

reply to post by woodwytch

But there can be no "land of milk and honey" as long as people are the way they are. Generally, i find there is no amazing quality to mankind, and that all living people are at fault. Not only are people horrible, but they have limited sincere interest in each other. "People" as a whole do not change. They never do. But individuals do change. Those who are meant to see, they see. The OP, he sees (I gather, i haven't read the whole post-); he sees a discouraging world. The only thing he can do to change it is keep in the right path. Sorry for being discouraging.

My friend reading this post made me cry thats right a hard core biker still fighting off tears.It hits home with me all my life I have never felt like I am like any one ells on earth I have a big heart and always try to do whats right there for I suffer a lot, people seem to really like to see me suffer it seems to be really fun for them.People don't believe how bad it is for me when they see it for them self they run like hell,I would to.Maybe its the long hair maybe its the way I look I don't know but I know one thing for sure if I take the easy way out it would really hurt my daughters bad and the only way to change this sh** hole of a place is to do every thing I can to change it,so I waist alot of my free time by writing the White house, the Speaker of the senate and all the Senators and Governor of my state and some times other states. This makes me feel like Im doing some thing to make it a better place. I cant tell you why a so called loving God would put us here, it will be the first thing I ask him! I know one thing for sure if I got to be here then Im going to fight like hell for whats right.Good luck my friend I hope the best for ya,fight like hell for what you think is right it will help.

[edit on 18-7-2008 by Southbound]

the human race is a threat to every living thing in the universe,even to ourselves,our existence is the scourge of worlds

It's just the way we are, it's hard coded in us all. You just need to step away and disassociate yourself with it all, focus on your friends and family and make your own world as you would like the whole world to be. This song by Tool "Vicarious" is a song that describes how you are feeling and I often think about this song when I see the things you describe. Sorry for long post but this is a really good song, you all should listen to it.

Eye on the TV
Cause tragedy thrills me
Whatever flavor
It happens to be

Like:
"Killed by the husband"
"Drowned by the ocean"
"Shot by his own son"
"She used a poison in his tea
and kissed him goodbye"
That's my kind of story.
It's no fun 'til someone dies

Don't look at me like
I am a monster
Frown out your one face
But with the other
Stare like a junkie
Into the TV
Stare like a zombie
While the mother holds her child,
Watches him die

Pleas to the sky crying,
"Why, oh why?!"

Cause I need to watch things die
From a distance
Vicariously, I
Live while the whole world dies
You all need it too - don't lie.

Why can't we just admit it?
Why can't we just admit,
We won't give pause until the blood is flowin'
Neither the brave nor bold
Will write us a story. So,
We won't give pause until the blood is flowin'

I need to watch things die
From a good safe distance
Vicariously, I
Live while the whole world dies
You all feel the same so
Why can't we

Just admit it

Blood like rain, come down
Drum on grave and ground

Part vampire
Part warrior
Carnivore and voyeur
Still have the transmittal
Synch to the death rattle...

Credulous at best your desire to believe in
Angels in the hearts of men
Pull your head on out
You Hippies and give a listen
Shouldn't have to say it all again

The universe is hostile
So impersonal
Devour to survive
So it is, so it's always been ...

We all feed on tragedy
It's like blood to a vampire

Vicariously, I
Live while the whole world dies
Much better you than I.

It is times when I am feeling *exactly* the way the OP describes in his original post that I can and do turn to God. Not just in prayer, but in thought and action. Meaning I will think about the greatness / vastness of God and God's creation, the reality in which all things exist, ie the universe, but only if thees 1 universe. if theres multiple universes, then it is whatever contains all of the universes you see.

But I take hope in the fact that God exists, that I am here in this flesh at this moment in existence, at this place precisely, for some sort of reason. It doesn't have to be some major deep lesson, it could be something as simple as needing to aquire one particular trait that you really need but do not have, such as humility, valor, honour, umm... really anything. Or perhaps they only needed to experience one particular event, action, or situation.

don't take the beauty of life for granted. There is nothing like looking into your baby daughter's innocent eyes and watch her light up with glee. There are many things taht can make you appreciate life. Truth is, you're right, life does suck by epic proportions. But you have to find that strand of happiness, and pull on it. I too hate so many things in this world.. albeit everything to do with politics, business, poverty, greed. You name it. Just go out and enjoy life. You'll be glad you did.

Amazing!! people have written they feel pity for me, You shouldn't. People have said get over it and that life isn't easy. You are so right life isn't easy here, never has been and its only going to get worst. I'm over it already don't you get it, I could care less what happens to people like you that accept the status quo! I've read that I need to get out, take a stroll right, just pretend everything is ok! Sorry can't do it. I read a post that stated their is in fact some kind of balance, what a laugh. Tell me what good deed is their that can balance out a child being molested by some one who role is to nurture. I could go on and on but its pointless if you don't understand whats going on in this world then me telling you isn't going to help you, and you can not help me!

well, there always is a balance, i don't know how to explain it. Well.. with child molester, they go to prison you think thats it? no, they get their fudge packed nice and deep. So theres an example of "karma if you will.

And while some people suffer while others prosper has always been a fact of life.

It's not about being tired of dealing with this, just stop your damn crying. Be glad you can cry about how screwed up the world is, because I'm sure the average chinese citizen can't. And if you even tried to speak like that in North Korea, you'd get locked up. We all got problems man, get over it.

If you want to stop living because life is so "messed up," go live in a 3 world country before you start crying again. Seriously.. at least you have a computer to type on within a comfortable apartment with a refridgerator, and many other ammenities that if they were to break you could replace them with a new one from that store a few blocks down from where you live and all without the worry of being attacked with mortars on that day. So shut the hell up and be grateful to have what you have.

[edit on 2008/7/19 by joe_dirt976]

I'm with the OP. I'm constantly asking myself HOW did I GET here? The utter and rampant disregard for the happiness & well-being of others displayed by western society (well, most of society actually) is intolerable. Other than my husband, I'm completely surrounded by people who are 100% oblivious to the warning bells going off around their heads.

They look at war, death, and genocide on TV like it's some sort of optional entertainment. They actually believe that the subject of our governance is a topic that can be paid attention or ignored based upon our interest or lack thereof. As if the default setting for politicians is: goodness or something, and that means we don't have to be vigilant towards the people in charge of our lives. Government BY the people means we have to have checks and balances on our administrators, not a blank check for them to walk all over us.

The stupidity, ignorance, arrogance, wastefulness, greed, intolerance, violence, and aggression are hurdles I'm pretty sure we can't overcome...at least without help...because humans are far too gone to care enough to save themselves. They don't even know they're in danger!

Originally posted by riggs2099
Pull the trigger and end it....we have enough bytching and moaning.I rather enjoy this world...chaos and destruction galore...enough for everyone. You don't like it then tough shyznit...like someone said this is a pity party and your the main guest. Let your mommy console you in her arms and tell you everything will be ok....while we who are here for the pleasure this world offers enjoy it.

You sound a bit too selfish, it seems like maybe your part of the problems he talks about.


To the OP you are not the only one, a lot of us want answers!! but I am hopeful for the future. Just hold on tight to the scary ride brother, maybe at the end you will get to go off the scary ride and go on to a more fun ride.

And really, remember that there ARE good things in the world, be GLAD for that, be HAPPY for that. they are there, "focus" on them.

Stay Strong.

[edit on 19-7-2008 by _Phoenix_]

Good AfterMorning Folks,
A whole lot of people know me. I have had this username or some variation thereof since chat rooms were text only BBS's and if you had a 9600 baud dial-up modem, you were "DA MAN!" I've been programming all my life. Wonder who here remembers "Keypunch Machines"? Reel-to-reel tape drives where the "floppy" was as big as a large pizza box and you had to insert it with a chair because the "PC" was bigger than your fridge! Did I mention you had to put 2 in? LOL! BASIC was the "New Techie Language" And yes, hackers were around even then (for you "pre-glider" type folks, which if you know what a glider is, then you MIGHT know it wasn't even thought of til 2002). I'm talking the late '70's, early 80's here. By the way, I'm not here to console anyone, proselytize anyone, or preach to anyone. I don't request a response and I really do not care what anyone thinks of me or anything I may say here. Know one thing: I am not stating an opinion...I am stating fact, ie. "things that I know are true and have concrete evidence to prove so." I would also highly recommend (based on personal experience) that you take a scrutinizing look at yourself before you take cheap shots at someone reaching out for help. Guess what? Sure, you hurt your target, no matter what he says...but, you also have deeply hurt yourself, whether you care to admit it or not. Don't worry, I'm not gonna start preachin the "3-Fold Law of Return" (that's for you witches...ummm...Wiccans out there---Hi Lady Sintana, told you I knew there had to be a reason---Thank You for standing up Alone for the Entire World to recognize that one person CAN make a difference---Blessed Be, Lynceus....ummm...Tony, Ravenwood Coven, circa Little-5/Rainbow) and I'm not gonna slam my fist down and scream hellfire and damnnation while I spit in your face and blind you while I pickpocket you and screw your wife during the week and "REPENT" only on Sundays! Just tell Jesus and you shall be washed in the blood of the lamb! Riiiiggghhht! LOL!! Y'all see the Tammy Faye Baker/Ron Jeremy hook-up on the tube the other day? OMG!!! I thought I was gonna have a stroke laughing!! Oh, who joined the great Dhali LLama Tibetan turkey shoot? OM! OM! OM! Done my share of 'shrooms, acid, M-80's in the mailbox, stomped the little yellow glass sh*t-bombs in the hall that smelled like the southbound end of a northbound mule, broken home(s), abused, tortured (ever been set on fire?), homeless, Mickey D's fries out of some rest stop trash can at 2am on a desert highway--without a car and half my shoe gone--amazing the sounds of the night--amazing how bad your legs can hurt! Thrown off a train in 8 feet of snow in Thayer, MO (where's that? I didn't know either! All I knew is I was runnin from something I won't mention!), Let's see, had a dart through my eye and touching the back of my skull and was Sandy Duncan's Guinee Pig (never been to Guinee so I can't spell it!, but you guys really should take a look at those Lion's Club folks, they paid the whole bill because none of my folks seemed to be around when I had to have a cage installed over my hospital bed because I learned "Somnambulism"). Now I live in a 2D world, which fact my loving wife brought to my attention just a coupla days ago. Yep, the world IS FLAT! Let's see what else? Had a wreck that almost severed my left leg.."You'll never walk again" YEAH SO YOU SAY? WHATEVER. I'm walking folks. There's LOTS more, runnin out of space here and time everywhere).Point is I BEEN THERE, doesn't matter though. Past 3 YEARS, NO ONE will listen when you DO have proof. I mean if they believe you, you never even get to SHOW THEM! YOU BECOME A NON-PERSON, DELETED, SLOWLY FADE INTO INSANITY BECAUSE THEY KNOW NO ONE WILL BELIEVE YOU! Life is simply CAUSE-AND-EFFECT, GET WHAT YOU GIVE, KARMA, WHATEVER. "PAY IT FORWARD"

reply to post by xephy


I cannot read that. Just some friendly advice, edit that and put lots of paraghraphs in it. Lots more people will actually read it then.

Peace

[edit on 19-7-2008 by _Phoenix_]

Sorry lots to say 4k chars? OK. Anyway, Just look at everyone. How they got there. Then you know where they will be. IF-THEN (