What happened to the sanctity of marriage?

reply to post by another_lurker

You are so right about witnessing one too many marriages crumble. We have lost so many friends due to divorce.

I can understand your lifestyle we have met people who were quite happy and comfortable with such an arrangement, in fact we were invited in! We giggled about it but it just was not for us! As long as two people truly care and love each other what more could we ask for in this life. Just be careful and watchful with yourselves.

reply to post by Maxmars


Even if this particular survey is bunk, that doesn't mean that marriage as an institution is not in trouble.

Divorce is on the decline in the USA, but a report to be released today suggests that may be due more to an increase in people living together than to more lasting marriages.

Cohabiting couples have twice the breakup rate of married couples, the report's authors say. And in the USA, 40% bring kids into these often-shaky live-in relationships.

source: USA Today

~At Least Some One Is Sleeping With Her~

Seriously you need to stoke the fires at home..or else some one else will be poking the hearth...
Confuscious say he who does not tend the yard should expect another to mow the lawn... I mean....she was hot enough to marry right?

[edit on 12-5-2008 by SUNRAY06]

Please allow me the courtesy to try this again.

After 7 faithful years and one gorgeous son my wife chose to walk away from a beautiful home, a propserous business, and a life most would be jelous for. She was, in most of her close friends opinions, lured away by a sociopathic, predatory lesbian who has now ruined three families.

When it was starting to fall apart (2 weeks before Christmas) most of our friends suspected drugs or alcohol. The only thing I knew is that it was slipping away, and there was nothing I could do but watch it happen.

Toby, I feel for you. My ex has too been manipulated by the system, I've experienced many things you claim in your post, and at times have felt as hopeless as you. Because her girlfriend had experience breaking up 2 families in the past, she gave my ex the blueprint to sabotage our marriage. Six months later here I am on the doorstep of divorce without so much one visit to a marriage counselor.

But alas, the light at the end of the tunnel is no longer an angry mob with torches or a bullet train, it is in fact a ray of hope. For this too will pass and for it I will be a stronger individual. A single father of a beautiful 6 year old son, who will move Heavan and Earth for the right woman.

[edit on 5/12/2008 by TheRooster]

[edit on 5/12/2008 by TheRooster]

Marriage is taken for granted. People get married for the sex. You should marry for the love. If you want sex become a prostitute. At least you get paid to do that.

I heard a quote today that I think applies to marriage as well - LOL! It was in a speech by Clarence Thomas! - Nevertheless, I found it to be sublimely accurate:

"The rewards of self-discipline far exceed those of self-indulgence"

OR, as I always say about most things in life...Never make a permanent decision based on a temporary situation.

LOL! No matter how attractive or seductive the other person maybe.

reply to post by TheRooster


your ex wife left you to raise the kid or did you win a child custody battle?

reply to post by DuneKnight

Joint physical and joint legal. Nevada is a "No Fault" state, if either one of us was a homeless derelict, I think the court would still work towards Joint custody.

Just wanted to throw my $0.02 in...

I believe monogamy is more a product of reproduction. The human animal is pregnant for 9 months. I believe this is one of the longest (if not the longest) periods for mammals. When the mother is in this state, she becomes more vulnerable to outside harm (think caveman days) and is less capable of attaining the things needed to keep both herself and her baby healthy. In order for there to be a higher chance of survival, the expecting mother needs help. Obviously, this help does not have to come from the father, but I assume that it would be ideal due to the fact that other men and women may have their own children/families to worry about. This is where monogamy comes in. A monogamous relationship between mother and father would greatly increase the survival rate of both the mother and baby from conception to labor.

Also, I believe that the human baby experiences the longest period of "helplessness" amongst other mammals. Children do not even develop coordinated steps until over a year after birth. The child has a much better chance at survival by having people there to take care of them. Again, this care does not have to come from the father or mother, but it is ideal.

In regards to the increase in infidelity and divorce, I believe that is a product of the modern era. Throughout history, women have been held down. In the last 30-50 years, this has changed. Women hold a near equal position to men in our modern society. For the first time in history, a woman can survive all by herself. She doesn't need a husband or father to provide for her and her children...she can do this herself. There are many many many horror stories you hear (especially from the older generations) of a husband who beats his wife, cheats on her, smacks around the kids. When asking the woman why she stayed, a common answer is "where else am I going to go?". I believe that women are more inclined to leave nowadays due to the greater financial stability they have. I believe that men are also more inclined to leave a marriage due to this fact as well. (DISCLAIMER: I am NOT saying that women's rights are responsible for the increase in divorce, I'm all for everyone being treated equal and all that good stuff...

Nowadays, a child can survive without both parents. By "survive", I mean live to pass on his/her genes. I am in no way insinuating that it is a healthy way to grow (I'm not insinuating that it is unhealthy either). The way our society is set up, monogamy is no longer a crucial element to the survival of the species...although it may prove to become one in the future (Idiocracy?).

Does the media play a part? Sure. Does the wide availability of pornography figure into the equation? Sure. But I really don't think that these things deserve the blame that is being heaped onto them.

I thought I should add some here too ...

A vast majority of the males of our species (actually I think 100%, but you never know) are actually programmed in the genes to try and mate with other women. Perhaps this is from an initial survival instinct.

But there is benefit in monogamy 1) for the community, less diseases spread - can you imagine a 100% monogamous world; would have a near zero incidence of HIV infection 2) Children do get the steady influence of one set of parents rather than monkey-swing to the next one. 3) I read somewhere that marriage is actually good for your physical and mental well being. Married men live longer than unmarried men. which instinctively makes sense, since I am not one for sharing certain aspects of my life no matter what the reward.

Porn cannot be the reason, it could be an indicator of an underlying problem though. Only an adolescent mind compares porn stars to his life partner. Porn is like watching sports pros doing their thing and then expecting to do the same in a weekend game ... two completely different experiences, no match expected or even needed.

so all we (men) need to do is control that urge that I mentioned above ...

Marriage is in my opinion a true blending of two people. Although I am not religious I believe you should not get married if you are not going to be faithful. Faithfulness is always a choice. Every moment that you might be tempted, you need to make the choice not to give in to the urge.
The two people in this "blending" must abide by this or it will not work as it should. It is human to sometimes be tempted or have thoughts that come up in your mind. Choose to halt the urge immediately and remain two who are one. If you can't do this, don't get married.

Ive seen the divorce rate first hand. The majority I believe do divorce. If you find a poll that says otherwise Id question who they are asking. Maybe more and more people just arent bothering to get married.

I lived with my ex for 3 and a 1/2 years before getting married. Less than 6 months later it was all over but the crying. She cheated repeatedly after getting married but not before. If you ask me its about bigger and better deals. And this whole equal rights movement for females.

Back in the day when ma had to stay home on the farm she was depending on pa to make the money. This whole indepenance thing is a major factor. Also you could try taking a look at ladder theory.


www.laddertheory.com...


Not to mention getting around is being glorified by the media, look at Britney and Paris. And the girls next door, I know my ex started watching A LOT of girls next door right before the split.

My personal opinion is that there should be a jail punishment, I know that sounds harsh but you are intentionally harming someone very badly when you do this. And you are putting their life at risk sleeping around because of the STD factor. I never understood why you can be neglegent(sp?) in a lot of ways such as drunk driving and they dont play with you, you goto jail. But if you risk someones life through neglect its ok? Explain that one.

[edit on 12-5-2008 by Memysabu]

People are conditioned to want through the media. Our insecurities are played on.

I want the media to stop using aggressive advertising. Did they make me think this?

If consumers actually thought about what they were consuming they would realise they don't need any of it.

A large portion of my money goes towards foods, another large portion is rent, then there is transportation. I buy most of my clothing at thrift stores, and when I do buy it new it is the the stuff from the clearance rack.

The stars can wear all those duded up styles because the designers give them to them as advertising. Bling is a joke. If I wear jewelry, it's something I made, and maybe some silver. But that is rare. My vehicle is economic and conservative. Status is an illusion.

They are playing with your head...

Not mine, I am aware.

Blaming the media is another form of distraction. Yeah the media is there, and mayhap they are trixie. However, I have the power to make choices and act upon those choices. The media is a thing. It's like saying "the Devil made me do it".



[edit on 5/12/2008 by eye open doors]

My wife and i been married for 8yers and she can't cheat on me.and i can't cheat on my wife we have a open marriage and we are very happy together

The answer to the question I can sum up in two words.

Feminism Happened.

Now to extapolate on this two word answer. The Cult of Female Supremacism (Feminism) was funded originally by the CIA via Gloria Steinham. Source for that statement is Gloria Steinham's Autobiography. Please do not think I am against equality among the sexes as I am not, We Are Equal, But Have Different Roles in Life to Fulfill.

The whole idea of Feminism was to transfer Karl Marx's class warfare ideology of the bourgeosie, (the owners of the means of production/the merchant/banking class) against the proletariat, (the working class/the wage slave).

What the ideology of Feminism did was transpose this hegalian dialectical or Marxist dialectical argument into gender warfare opposed to class warfare. For those who are not aware of a dialectic is it is the theory that thesis (a theory) when combined with anti-thesis (the opposite of that theory) combined produces and end product called synthesis. This has been popularised as problem, reaction = solution.

How does this fit into the sanctity of marriage. Feminism from its onset in the late fifties and early sixties, has portrayed the males in society as the bourgeosie and the female as the proletariat. In the feminists own terms the men are patriachs and the women are eternal victims.

The fact that the feminist movement was directly influenced by government agencies and the non profiit charitable foundations. The question you have to ask is to what end.

Perhaps the answer to the question is the question the thread is asking.

Is it not true that the divorce rate in western societies has sky-rocketed, and has the amount of single parent families increased. Has crime not increased in lock step? Is social cohesion evaporating?

I have read certain members are blaming porn for this particular problem. Is it a contributing factor? Yes, but it only a symptom . The main problem is the female supremacist movement that is feminism. Take the SCUM manifesto for example, by Valerie Solanis, SCUM, Means Society for Cutting Up Men. This is the gender Hate that is taught in the Universities in the Western World. Below is a link to the Hate Site;

www.womynkind.org...

This is just one example of a multitude of hate mongers in this field such as the late Andrea Dworkin, Germaine Greer amonst others.

The act of one gender or sex proclaiming war on another in reference to feminism is to divide the populus and create schisms. This will reduce population, alienate man and woman from their natural path of loving each other.

This also has a benefit to the governments and the true owners of the means of production (bourgeosie) as they will double the proletariat, by forcing the female gender/sex into the workplace/tax slavery.

To summarise those in charge like to divide and conquer or divide and rule, this is evident in the writings of Julius Caesar, Sun Tzu and Machievelli. The easiest way to destabilise society is to attack its building blocks, the family.

This strategy will ultimately fail, this can be seen in early-mid 20th century history. Lenin in the Soviet Union instigated the policy to destroy the nuclear family. When Stalin came to power he saw the degredation of the in Soviet society and installed plans to encourage the formation of stable nuclear families.

With the dissmemberment of the nuclear family, promiscuity arises and the availabilty of porn can contribute to ths, but the abolitition of the nuclear family is the main cause of promiscuity, which leads to the degredation of the commitment which used to be associated with marriage.

Today it is not a case of untill death do us part, it is a case of untill i find something better.

If we look at contemporary society, do we not observe that the marriage or coupling rate falling and the divorce rate escalating? Just look at mainstream statistics and the articles on how people are frustrated etc.

For the record I am not a Communist, that was force fed at University.

Let the Shaming language Begin Bah....



[edit on 12-5-2008 by djaybeetoo]

reply to post by nolany40

you mean that you are happy NOT together. theres difference. but i understand.

Originally posted by Tomorrow
It is human to sometimes be tempted or have thoughts that come up in your mind. Choose to halt the urge immediately and remain two who are one. If you can't do this, don't get married.

why is there an urge in the first place? if you are thinking of other people then the action is pretty much set.

[edit on 12-5-2008 by DuneKnight]

reply to post by djaybeetoo


you are right when feminism happened marriage crumpled. and promiscuity happened because of the media that was driven by feminism. feminists are the greatest perpetrators of the end of civilization, because it bought with it all that is good and all that is bad but the bad outweighed the good. they wanted more than equal legal rights and then it backfired. more women forced into workforce even though they were better off and more preferred the single life without consequence for their actions. thats the only change i can think of that happened recently in this day and age that radically impacted society.
and concerning porn, TV as a whole is sufficient porn for promoting this way of life. there is no need for a sexual extravaganza on display for it to change us, a whimper of mere influence is enough. its like the butterfly effect.


[edit on 12-5-2008 by DuneKnight]

reply to post by DuneKnight


Thanks for taking the time to read my post and I am glad you are able to see beyond the veil.

regards

Djaybeetoo

= 1xo


[edit on 12-5-2008 by djaybeetoo]

[edit on 12-5-2008 by djaybeetoo]