Dave Rabbit & Springer CAPTION CONTEST - And The WINNERS Are!

"So, I'm in the bathroom stall, and this guy keeps staring through the crack at me. Says his name is Larry and he works for the government. He wanted me to see his big 'Chad Drone'."

U.S. Department of Defense - Mental Studies - Persuasion Techniques
07HRT - Section 9


The Art of Passive, Indirect Intimidation


Study the image below, and proceeding technique outline.

1. Look friendly, relax your face, appear sincere but a little tired.
   
2. Smile, approach the victim and stand very close to them, almost hovering.
   
3. Immediately focus all your energy and begin speaking.
   
4. Rarely if ever break eye contact.
   
5. Be oblivious to how your body, pits or breath may smell.
   
6. Invade their direct personal space with slow hand gestures.
   
7. Focus on your own words and actions, appear to ignore what they're saying themself.
   
8. Continue speaking with relaxed confidence and persuade them as you wish.
   

Projecting yourself in a focused but friendly, confident manner as outlined above, is the key to passive intimidation. One's intentions must never appear deliberate.

The victim, wholely entrapped and mentally powerless, will find themself unable to reject the negative experience. The victim's desperation not to reveal how uncomfortable they are, will actually cause them to play along, thus aiding you in having the entire ordeal appear normal to any onlookers.

"I'm sorry springer for sleeping with your wife"

"I'm your real father"

"Here's my thought: If this Caption Contest goes over well, maybe we can maybe change the name of the site to something like...Fark.com?"

Just thought of another one;

Dave: Hey Springer, why do men have nipples?

Dave: Now that I have you under my control, you will make me a sandwich.

Dave: I know I was supposed to get Guiness Springer but the Meister Brau was so much cheaper.

Springer: Doh!!


[edit on 30-8-2007 by Kellter]

I can only cover you for so long. If you tell me who you're really working for , they are just gonna make you a pair of pink thongs and give you a one way ticket to Fire Island..Thats the best I can do for you old friend..

ATS everyone is family and a suspect all at the same time.

[edit on 30-8-2007 by Sys_Config]

OH, NO!!! I THINK MY HEAD'S GOING TO EXPLODE!!!

See, I told ya sharing the hotel room would save us money. That's strange about your dream making love to Madonna. I dreamt, as I always do, about churning butter.

reply to post by Dave Rabbit


options:

1. Uhhh . . . a PINK CADDY is DENIAL OF CLUELESSNESS . . . NOT Denial of Ignorance!

2. A pink Caddy is extraordinary evidence of tastelessness . . . not of UFO's.

3. A pink Caddy is extraordinary evidence of a Vulcan mind meld gone bad.

4. A pink Caddy--extraordinary evidence of an extraordinary level of mind control--kind of mind over horse . . . sense. Not quite mind over . . . matte,r but close.

5. NO! NO! NO! My pink birthday suit is NOT going to be seen in that pink Caddy!

6. 12 Mai Tai's will NOT enable you to levitate that pink Caddy--no matter what the ET's told you.

7. Now let me get this straight . . . ET's beamed a holographic video of you, Lucille Ball, an ET and Michael Moore stomping around in the pink Caddy full of grapes? Uhhhhh and how much aged grape juice did you consume before sleep?

8. If you're trying to get me to believe that the pink Caddy transmorgified into a black triangle & flew off at the speed of light right before your eyes . . . it's going to take more than a Crayon drawing to convince me, Fred.

9. So . . . let me get this straight . . . you're driving home after the party . . . and suddenly the pink Caddy starts telepathically screaming in your mind Klaatu Barrrada Nikto followed by instructions that the car would soar if you drove over the nearby cliff? How come you're still alive?

10. No. The pink Caddy does NOT have an alternate anti-grav propulsion system. The cloud you saw around it was not proof of flying but of a desperate need for a ring job.

11. If you drive that pink Caddy down any street with an ATS sign on it . . . we WILL arrange for . . . a courtesy night ride with anal probe at our earliest convenience.

12. A pink Caddy is denial of sanity--not denial of Ignorance.

Sorry if I was rough last night. I promise, tonight I'll switch to stilts and oven mitts.

I thought you said it was a "Grey" bar.

The hotel called. They want their towels and shampoo back.

UFO Expert? No, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

"Just think about it....NOTHING will move us up the Big Board rankings quicker than a pornagraphy forum! PLUS, we could even combine it with the Aliens and UFO's forum...just imagine what Lear would do with this!"

"Whats wrong??? I figured that $10,000 for the entire set of Serpo documents would be the best investment of ATS funds ever!!"

Seriously, I've seen it done before! We can just offer some FREE ATS POINTS and we'll spawn a 20 page thread!

"Ya gotta believe me!! It really is Elvis two rows behind you!!"