The dawn of a new beginning

Oh wonderful rotund Valhall. Your presence fills my heart with joy, your posts are like water on my dry lips, your fragence wafts like choice bacon in the kitchen of my heart.

How I long to see you return to the temple of your womanhood. The place from which you provide sustance to your remakable family, the bastion of the colon! You should be in the kitchen, where your skills are so needed at this time.

Originally posted by Valhall
He's an archaic dinosaur that was brought back to life when some one inadvertantly mistook his frozen head for a cheese ball.

Oh wonderful rotund Valhall. Your presence fills my heart with joy, your posts are like water on my dry lips, your fragence wafts like choice bacon in the kitchen of my heart.

How I long to see you return to the temple of your womanhood. The place from which you provide sustance to your remakable family, the bastion of the colon! You should be in the kitchen, where your skills are so needed at this time.

OOOHHHHHHHHHHHH I think me bum's let me down. I seriously think I've pissed meself

Don't worry about me General. You still have my full support.
I am but a spud to be launched from your harmless cannons. And I am at this moment completely pissed. On drink made from potato though, I might add.
I have some principals, be they cannibalistic.

Ahhhh vodka....

the favorite imbibement of the General's Wife, on those long cold nights the General is away on the battlefield of ATS.

Obviously you have made the most common mistake of assuming that rotundity equates to domesticity. As you can see I am a hot-big-mama-of-lust.

Hot Mama

You need to take your misconceptions elsewhere.

By MA
Ahhhh vodka....

the favorite imbibement of the General's Wife, on those long cold nights the General is away on the battlefield of ATS.

YES! Many of my potato brethren have sacrificed their lives that I may have had a more productive and drunken evening.
I may have been a far larger potato than them, with a far more luminous and healthy colouring and promise for future seedlings for the harsh winters to come, but they did not regret me my upbringing, nor my prestige. They were, in the sprit of all true patriots, more than willing to lay down their skins for the worthy cause of continuing a traditional and valuable heritage. For they did recognise that without potatoes like me, their meagre existence would be as lowly, tiny spuds in the ground until the farmer came along and tossed them to the side for the pigswill that they truly are, and that as true potatoes they could not exist. I rest easy in the knowledge that I have given them a Spud to look up to, a spud to be proud of. A spud that next time they will look not upon their absence of compost or sunlight or indeed of proper planting as an obstacle to the true spud they could become. I am to them a spud to truly be thankful for, for without spuds like me, they would never have existed as spuds at all!

Hey Stroker Ace I totally offer kudos to your resolve as
a soldier! In my own defence, the point of the Easter Island
query was from personal study on inhabitants as some sort
of leftover culture from an 'event.' Just to clarify the goods.


Hey I know you are in there slaves! Wake up!

General. Being the ROTUND Valhall's husband I must respectfully disagree with your advising her to "stay" in the kitchen!

Obvioulsy she has been in there WAY too long!!!! Based on the self portrait I saw in her last post to this thread I am going to BURN the kitchen DOWN in our OK. home upon my arrival there tomorrow.

When I left for Dallas on Sunday night my beautiful wife weighed in at a VERY NICE 106 lbs. Upon viewing the picture pic I am guessing she has BUTTERBEANED up to about 245lbs in FOUR DAYS....

I would think the GYM is the place for the poor dear NOT the Kitchen.

PEACE...
m...

[Edited on 10-9-2003 by Springer]

I'm hoping that Generals posts were of sarcastic form.

If not then I would have to say that many people are here to speak freely without fear and without control yet you speak as if you want control, the very thing many here are to fight against.

I surely hope this person wasn't serious

General,
I accept your beliefs. Take me and remold me as you see fit. I know, now, that only a sound body and clear mind can serve our glorious and necessary cause. Destroy my false sense of individuality and reform me into the cold sword I need to be.

I stand waiting for your next command!

I hope im not taking this too literal.

You're hurting my feelings...

YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE...WAAAAA!

Where's my cookies???

I do not wish to come between a husband and his wife, but Her Rotundness is a model for the other women on the board.

Please leave her to create culinary concoctions that caress the cockles of your heart. Springer you will benefit in the end.

Once Mornington Cresent becomes aware of the value of Domesticity and that she doesn't have to strive in the world any more, then she too will have found the safe harbour that her spirit is seeking.

Already my goal of changing others lives for the better is bearing fruit. This is a happy day.

Originally posted by Valhall
You're hurting my feelings...

YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE...WAAAAA!

Where's my cookies???

Would someone please tell me how Generaldelimma went from a newbie to a Administrator in two monthes????I fink somefing is tewibbly wong here.


Mark

General,

ATS needs you obviously,

there is no discipline here and a lack of respect for each other,

I have been an example of this myself.

I expect that you will bring an overriding purpose to this rag tag bunch of surly recruits.

Many of us expect that like the army not everyone will make it through basic training.

in charge of the 'Big Ego' forum, or the 'Crap Spelling' one. General, it is not 'sweaping', it is spelt s w e e p i n g, so if you will try and dazzle us with you 'intellect', then please do it in a water-tight fashion. I agree with some of your points, but being an absolute arsehole on the board is not the way forward.

Oh! And leave Val alone or she will wipe the floor with you and your pseudo-military crap.

Thank you Daystar....it is nice to know chivalry is not dead.

However, I due have won thing I need two point out. I have noticed that sense hanging out on ATS eye have become homonymally challenged. I wasn't like this before I came hear. I think it is something in the water. I'm serious. I have to edited almost every post I make now because of homonyms...I think ATS causes phonetic brain damage. Sometimes I just say farkle it and let the mistakes stay on the record because I get tired of fixing them!

And it seams to bee progressive, fast moving and very degenerative. Last night I posted on a thread in the religion forum and had breech spelled breach, had spelled fill feel to different times, and their was other mistakes as wail! So it has now moved from homonym swapping too all phonetic dysfunction!!!

My point is...pick you're battles. The General presents many offenses ewe mite not be able to live with...but let's knot become spelling freeks against him!

point taken Val.

i was just trying to the point out to the general that he is not as perfect as he and some of his fans think, and i have to say that his condescending attitude is to be taken lightly rather than seriously

i mean, who the hell does he think he is? George Bush?

What sort of nonsence is this Daystar?
have you nothing else to do with your time in the exercse yard apart from pick pedantic holes in my spelling? You not even fit to conjugate my verbs.

At least I can read posts without having to mouth the big words.

I expect an apology from you and at least 20 pushups in recognition of your own insignifigence.

Do not try and subvert Valhall from finding her niche in life. She is the crowning success to my mission so far. The time is soon near when I will reveal the next part of my plan.

Originally posted by Daystar

point taken Val.

i was just trying to the point out to the general that he is not as perfect as he and some of his fans think, and i have to say that his condescending attitude is to be taken lightly rather than seriously

i mean, who the hell does he think he is? George Bush?

Originally posted by GeneralDilemma
Once Mornington Cresent becomes aware of the value of Domesticity and that she doesn't have to strive in the world any more, then she too will have found the safe harbour that her spirit is seeking.

good god. this guy makes ELIZA seem like a candidate for the Turing test.
note to the General's keeper: if your 'character' can be broken down into if-then statements, you're doing a miserable job.

*15,15*
I completly agree General!
Daystar, your continued badgery of Valhall is insubordinate and deserving of corporeal punishment!
You should be proud to be on an online discussion board in the General's presence...

General, while you are online, will you please discuss with the other administrators the unfair implications of disciminatory banning in the ATSFASTchat?
Your support would be most appreciated!

Thank you General!
- Tass *40*

I find that a large proportion of my valuable time here on ATs is being used in replying to the insobordinate backbiters in the threads.

Mornington Crescent (who seems to be named after a street) is a fine example of the insidious mutterers that I find irritating. Having worked long and hard to show MC a way to reach her true nature, she plainly fails to understand, and like an ungrateful brat continues to bite the hand that is offered out to her.

I feel that the time has come for me to have a heart to heart conversation with this computer obsessed individual.

Mornington, I know that you think highly of yourself because of your computing skills, but really dear, try and look holistically at your being.

I refer to your dress sence, the way you do your hair and that unfeminine manner you have of snorting.

Look love, you really need to look at yourself in the mirror in the morning and try and imagine how the world sees you.

Those scruffy jeans, that ragged old black jersey and those old tennis shoes do nothing for your sex appeal. I commend you to Vallhall so that she may take you under her wing, and teach you some of the feminine ways. I am sure that you'll agree after she has revealed her techniques that the best dressed women have aprons on.

I look forward to seeing the new Mornington Crescent. later on we can discuss the other aspects that need a makeover.

[Edited on 10-10-2003 by GeneralDilemma]