What Sports do you think should be in the Olympics??

Fastest person to clean a sharp knife with their tongue
Maybe use hardened chocolate on the knife

originally posted by: SecretKnowledge
They should have an olympics were everyone's pumped up on steroids. Lets see what man can really achieve.

Could call it The Juice Games

Saturday Night Live gave us a preview:

There was a Russian-American guy in my frat who could chug vodka and then chew and eat the glass.
I'd like to see the Olympic version of this.

Ooorrr we could have the real HC and open the event to any personage from anywhere in any shape or condition to have a crack at lifting and chucking the old bat into a van. Or Ute. While it’s moving.

Driven by a dwarf.

With an oompah loompah cheer squad.

And a smurf co-commentating with Chuck Norris.

a reply to: Silcone Synapse

Eventually, we have to start looking at e-sports like keyboard warrioring and trolling.

I'm thinking maybe we need some others based on some of the suggestions here:

Competitive Hurling- Severely hungover competitors compete on a steamy boat in rough seas and have to smell an ashtray full of old cigarette butts and hot mayonnaise. 3 categories: 1. Longest Liquid Laugh, 2. Most Artistic Eating Backwards, 3. Most Aggressive Exorcist (style) Gas Station Sushi Hurl.

originally posted by: ketsuko
Eventually, we have to start looking at e-sports like keyboard warrioring and trolling.

Too much doping.

How about Storm Area 51?
Is that even a sport?

a reply to: ketsuko

True.

Maybe events like:

Mom's Basement Marathon -

Technical Trolling -

World of Warcraft Meltdown -

DRUNK CLOWNS WITH AXES—BALLS

The participants must reach a 2.0 BAC TO Compete
Then Run the Track with Sharpened Axes

Attempting to Castrate The Prison Inmates
From Their Own Country
( ONLY SEXUAL PREDATORS)

originally posted by: Tulpa

originally posted by: ketsuko
Eventually, we have to start looking at e-sports like keyboard warrioring and trolling.

Too much doping.

How about Storm Area 51?
Is that even a sport?

Too much doping?! But we were already talking about an all drug Olympics. How can you talk about too much doping, unless, of course, you meant too many dopes? But I thought that was sort of the point.

If we're all about equity, then the dopes must have their day too.



Dope ... twit ... what's the difference?

a reply to: ketsuko

I saw a bloke do a handstand on a pub table once and drink half a pint of whiskey upside down.

That.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Still waiting for the Woke Olympics in North Korea.

Fly all the "athletes" in and see who escapes.

That sicko Jong un would probably delegate his authority to them. Sicko.

a reply to: Tulpa

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Hey, wait a minute....

Your dream!

Instead of going on skis down those massive steep jumps in the winter Olympics. .......

Put them on washing machines with roller skates!

Now that is inspired.

a reply to: Tulpa

a reply to: Dalamax

Had to refrain from suggesting what they should land on.

originally posted by: Flyingclaydisk

Competitive Hurling

I would have won Gold at that back in my hellraising days.No question.

What about this one:

"The Oompah Loompah Gimp Olympics."

Just because the sounds in the words seem to somehow resolve themselves like a set of nice guitar chords.
And because it would be funny to see a load of Oompahs in Gimp suits,but with their little orange faces poking out as they competed.

originally posted by: Silcone Synapse

originally posted by: Flyingclaydisk

Competitive Hurling

I would have won Gold at that back in my hellraising :

Distance, quantity or accuracy on target?

originally posted by: Flyingclaydisk

2. Most Artistic Eating Backwards,

You mean like this↓??

Cartman, "...alright now keep with me here, it gets a little complicated... If you eat food and crap out your butt, then maybe if you stuck food in your butt, you would crap out your mouth."