What Sports do you think should be in the Olympics??

There has been a lot of talk about the Olympics lately, both good and bad. Records being set, social protests being staged, political diseases, are but a few of these.

All this discussion got me to thinking; if you could add some sports to the Summer Olympics, what would they be? Some could definitely go away too, but what ones would you add?

Here are some examples I was thinking of:

Dueling - You know, the "real" kind. 2 opponents, 2 pistols, 10 paces each. Yeah, your Glizock "Nina Milly" is allowed and the use of the tried and true sideways "Gangsta Grip" is encouraged.

Jousting - Two contenders on horseback ride at full speed toward each other with long blunt spears until one (or both) are mercilessly crushed.

Competitive Fornication - Triple axel, full nelson, double backflip to a vaulting Dorothy Hamil. Trampolines encouraged.

Grand Theft Auto - Except for realz!

Chicken - No, the version were all competitors stand in a group and someone in the center fires an arrow straight up from a bow.

Running with Scissors - How could we forget this one???

Lawn Darts - Gotta' have Lawn Darts! The sharp metal ones.

Sofa Spud Medley - 3 parts; 1. Fastest Sammich 2. Couch Crevice Creations, and 3. Where's the Remote? (Helmets required)

Best Karen - Karens from around the globe kompete for Best Karen. Points for loudest cat sounds, most irritating voice and most stitches received.

Group Beatings - Because some activist groups just need to be beaten into quivering puddles of goo. (Crowd participation event)

Get Off My Lawn! - Because, well, some people just need to GTFO! Interpretive event. (Yours truly, as acting Grand Marshal)

I'm sure I missed a few, so please feel free to add yours!

TIA

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Ice hockey, American football and MMA.

Tossing pointy sticks and throwing frisbees is for marys.

Dwarf toss.
The little fellers have a union

Carrion eating comp.
Roadkill feast without preparation

Death by a thousand cuts tough guy comp.
Paper cuts to exsanguination(sp?)

Slap duel.
Open hand, arms length. Until only one remains conscious

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Ice hockey, American football and MMA.

Tossing pointy sticks and throwing frisbees is for marys.

Football hockey MMA style.
You have something there.

originally posted by: Gothmog
Football hockey MMA style.
You have something there.

Needs more assault rifles.

I’d like to see a smoking competition.
Like who can smoke how many cigs the fastest.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

I can't think of anything specific at the moment, but some Olympic Drinking Games would be nice.

or maybe just another classification for some of the current games, where you have to blow ≥0.18 on the breathalyzer in order to participate. 0.17 or less is an automatic disqualification,

100 Meter Drunken Hurdles would be a good one.

Drunken Pole Vault




I don't think there's an actual channel for it, but have you ever seen 'ESPN8 The Ocho'?
Sometimes ESPN2 will turn into 'ESPN8 The Ocho' for a day. They have some pretty wacky 'sports' on there.
Combat Juggling is a pretty good one.
There's a Dodgeball/Juggling hybrid thing that's also entertaining.
Then of course there's the Competitive Eating.

Nice a durry marathon

a reply to: Macenroe82

a reply to: Macenroe82

Oooooooh...maybe we could hold one of the legs of the 'Best Karen' event at the same time, and in the same room!!

Me Likey!!!

originally posted by: BrokenCircles
a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

I can't think of anything specific at the moment, but some Olympic Drinking Games would be nice.

or maybe just another classification for some of the current games, where you have to blow ≥0.18 on the breathalyzer in order to participate. 0.17 or less is an automatic disqualification,

100 Meter Drunken Hurdles would be a good one.

Drunken Pole Vault




I don't think there's an actual channel for it, but have you ever seen 'ESPN8 The Ocho'?
Sometimes ESPN2 will turn into 'ESPN8 The Ocho' for a day. They have some pretty wacky 'sports' on there.
Combat Juggling is a pretty good one.
There's a Dodgeball/Juggling hybrid thing that's also entertaining.
Then of course there's the Competitive Eating.

Lol! Drunken hammer toss

Seeing as how the 'Olympic Torch' is considered to be something special, they really should incorporate FIRE into many of the games. The 'Torch' should be much more than just ceremonial.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: Gothmog
Football hockey MMA style.
You have something there.

Needs more assault rifles.

Could the winner of the Karen event ref this one?

Also could we have a blood bowl tournament. They were always a hoot on tabletop.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk
Man those are great.
Competative fornication and best karen should definitley be in there,maybe even a crossover of the two.

Can we also have "Acid Olympics"-its just like the regular olympics,but the athletes have to take a good dose of '___' 1 hour before the events start.

Also,a special event in which corrupt politicians are forced to juggle old,sweaty dynamite sticks.
Can we please have that too?

Oh what the hell,can we also have "Dwarf catapulting."
Its like a real game of Angry Birds,but with dwarfs instead of birds.

**sigh** I guess we have to be 'inclusive' here too, so we'll throw in:

Unicorn Petting - Extra credit for 'Heavy', and Best Ribs Recipe.

Rainbow Finger Painting - Style points for using your own Blood!

originally posted by: Silcone Synapse

Can we also have "Acid Olympics"-its just like the regular olympics,but the athletes have to take a good dose of '___' 1 hour before the events start.

Make that 2 hours, and they definitely have to carry a torch (and keep it lit) during their entire event.



ETA: Even the swimmers. They too must keep the flame lit.

originally posted by: BrokenCircles

originally posted by: Silcone Synapse

Can we also have "Acid Olympics"-its just like the regular olympics,but the athletes have to take a good dose of '___' 1 hour before the events start.

Make that 2 hours, and they definitely have to carry a torch (and keep it lit) during their entire event.



ETA: Even the swimmers. They too must keep the flame lit.

Oh man. That will be the longest 15m three legged egg and spoon race in history

originally posted by: BrokenCircles
Seeing as how the 'Olympic Torch' is considered to be something special, they really should incorporate FIRE into many of the games. The 'Torch' should be much more than just ceremonial.

Brilliant...

Flamethrower Midgets - Midgets with flamethrowers score points by lighting wailing and running Karens on fire! No time limit. Unlimited fuel.

Tickets would be sold-out years in advance for this one! I'd camp out for tickets to this one! LOL**snort**

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

MMA? Let's be for realz; it's sweaty dick punches or nothing.

But I think we need to add the Russian slap fights.



Perfect snowflake/woke sport. Karens ought to excel at it.

They need to combine some of the usual sports to make hybrid mixed games.

Such as Pole Vault Javelin
They have to run with both of them, and then throw the Javelin at the peak of their vaulting. (they better throw it before they land)


100 Meter Backstroke Bench Press?

Maybe Hammer Throw Relay or Javelin Relay

That’s the one I was imaging! Thanks Ketsuko, I knew I had seen it somewhere

a reply to: ketsuko