Covid-19 Community Support and Mental Wellness Thread

Funny bit of irony,

A friend texted me basically asking if I had any advice for dealing with the enhanced anxiety and depression levels that he's feeling due to current world situations.

My advice to him was that I do all I can to distract myself when things get bad. Watch something on streaming ( YouTube, movies or binge watch shows ), read a book, play video games, write, take apart my computers, clean and rebuild them - whatever works at any given time.

Now I feel a bit hypocritical for that advice because I've done all the things on my list today - several times over and for about 5 or 10 minutes each try. Every attempt at distractions fails almost immediately. I can't get my mind to focus on any of it.

I'm not fixated on what's going on. I'm not afraid. I'm just so subconsciously keyed up that my mind is unable to lock on any single thing.

This is the aspect of PTSD that''s so difficult to explain to others. It's not the surface level anxiety or fear that's hard - the sort of feeling most people think of and have experienced. It's the anxiety that's deep down in the dark waters that has no discernible shape or form that's the real hassle.

a reply to: Hefficide

Hello Heff.

In one of your previous post, you downplayed yourself, as an adviser.

Don't do that. The ones who think that they know everything, they actually know nothing.

I think i have PTSD too but it is not diagnosed yet.

I wish you strength, and i sense that you are one of the good humans.
-Fin

Have purposely thrown myself in RPG's this year, as they take hours to play and keep my head occupied away from suicidal thoughts. (was more of a shooter gamer)

I started on God of War (action/RPG), and to date it is the best game I have ever played. (on 3rd play through)

Then I tried Hellblade, it was way to slow/boring puzzle orientated for me (great graphics and story though) So I'll probably come back to this one.

Next is Horizon Zero Dawn, very good, worth a play, although monster robots don't excite me that much personally.
(still playing this)

And maybe this week I'm going to crack open The Witcher 3, looking forward to this one!

Alongside this I am also watching game of thrones for the 1st time (just started season 3)

Other than cleaning, this is all I do atm.

Moral of the story

RPG's/Fantasy are keeping me alive.

You know, I really want to write down how I feel in this thread, but can't seem to bring myself to do it for some reason ☹️

originally posted by: BoscoMoney
Today was a good day.

I stood in a small closet all day and coughed and reinfected myself over and over and over and over...

😂😂😂

I needed this 👌🏼

originally posted by: Hefficide


This is the aspect of PTSD that''s so difficult to explain to others. It's not the surface level anxiety or fear that's hard - the sort of feeling most people think of and have experienced. It's the anxiety that's deep down in the dark waters that has no discernible shape or form that's the real hassle.

I think that deep, dark water anxiety may be based on existential dread on what's actually out there. Once you've gone through something really bad, you know there is no reason it can't happen to you again or something equally horrific. Everyone else walks around like, "La, la, la. It won't happen to me or, if it does, it won't really be that bad." Some of us have learned the hard way.

originally posted by: FinallyAwake
Have purposely thrown myself in RPG's this year, as they take hours to play and keep my head occupied away from suicidal thoughts. (was more of a shooter gamer)

I started on God of War (action/RPG), and to date it is the best game I have ever played. (on 3rd play through)

Then I tried Hellblade, it was way to slow/boring puzzle orientated for me (great graphics and story though) So I'll probably come back to this one.

Next is Horizon Zero Dawn, very good, worth a play, although monster robots don't excite me that much personally.
(still playing this)

And maybe this week I'm going to crack open The Witcher 3, looking forward to this one!

Alongside this I am also watching game of thrones for the 1st time (just started season 3)

Other than cleaning, this is all I do atm.

Moral of the story

RPG's/Fantasy are keeping me alive.

You know, I really want to write down how I feel in this thread, but can't seem to bring myself to do it for some reason ☹️

RPG's are great for entertainment and escapism. I'm grinding the heck out of Fallout 76. I will need to look up God of War. Thanks for the post and this info.

I think you're doing well to immerse yourself in things like this.

RPG's are hit and miss for me. I LOVE playing them but, at least for me, there's this difficult to reach, magical moment involved with the process. A moment where you go from struggling to figure out the mechanics and gameplay loops and become truly immersed. When it goes from "what do?" to just doing.

In fact the only time I've every truly reached RPG zen, on that level, was playing Morrowind on the OG Xbox. I'd gotten the game and the Xbox as a birthday gift. My ex and just about all of our mutual friends pitched in on it. It was the coolest present I ever got.

It was also 2003, I think, long before the days of digital downloads and easily accessed game options. I had a very demanding job, not much free time... And an Xbox with just the one game. So I played it, even though the learning curve was a bit slow and frustrating for me.

Then it just sorta came together. I went from "I don't know if this is fun or not..." to playing the game every time I got some "me" time.

I burned through three Xbox consoles and four or five copies of that game over the next few years.

Ever since I've desperately been waiting for another game that could suck me in like that.

I'm told, by many people, that The Witcher 3 will do it... But it's not 2003 anymore and I have hundreds of games in my various libraries ( Steam, GOG, Epic, Uplay, Origin, Twitch, Xbox Game Pass, Battle.Net, Rockstar etc ). and I just can't force myself over the hump with it. I've tried about a dozen times and just can't get there - In fact I'm pretty sure I've only made it past the tutorial once.

TL;DR: I love RPG's but trying to play them usually works like "Let's try the Witcher again.." - five minutes later - "Yeah, time for Minecraft".

a reply to: drussell41

I've been cutting down trees and yanking out bushes that are dead or dying. Basically 're doing my whole back yard.
I have a whole new view from my bedroom wondow. My arms are a wreck with scratches and bruises and I fell down on my left wrist three times. Next time it's breaking I'm sure of it.
It's keeping me busy but I keep wanting to go to the home store for stuff and even though it's open I am restricting myself to just the grocery store. If the virus doesn't get me a falling limb may.

originally posted by: Hefficide



TL;DR: I love RPG's but trying to play them usually works like "Let's try the Witcher again.." - five minutes later - "Yeah, time for Minecraft".

Do you have xbox one? If you need a high-level player to help get you through the rough spots and tell you the stuff that the game does not--sharpening the learning curve significantly--lmk. I can do that with FO76.

I've noticed the same thing with myself too..... tried Outer Worlds, and I just kinda dreaded having to learn everything all over. Like, for example, where is the map?! Stuff like that is tiresome.

originally posted by: Sillyolme
a reply to: drussell41

I've been cutting down trees and yanking out bushes that are dead or dying. Basically 're doing my whole back yard.
I have a whole new view from my bedroom wondow. My arms are a wreck with scratches and bruises and I fell down on my left wrist three times. Next time it's breaking I'm sure of it.
It's keeping me busy but I keep wanting to go to the home store for stuff and even though it's open I am restricting myself to just the grocery store. If the virus doesn't get me a falling limb may.

What a great way to use your time! I wish we could see before and after pics. Is there some way you can reduce the fall risk?

Yeah, we're not going to the hardware store either.

a reply to: drussell41

I actually do have an Xbox One.

Honestly, once bills are paid for April and I get a feeling for my budget I might just take you up on that offer.

originally posted by: drussell41

originally posted by: FinallyAwake
Have purposely thrown myself in RPG's this year, as they take hours to play and keep my head occupied away from suicidal thoughts. (was more of a shooter gamer)

I started on God of War (action/RPG), and to date it is the best game I have ever played. (on 3rd play through)

Then I tried Hellblade, it was way to slow/boring puzzle orientated for me (great graphics and story though) So I'll probably come back to this one.

Next is Horizon Zero Dawn, very good, worth a play, although monster robots don't excite me that much personally.
(still playing this)

And maybe this week I'm going to crack open The Witcher 3, looking forward to this one!

Alongside this I am also watching game of thrones for the 1st time (just started season 3)

Other than cleaning, this is all I do atm.

Moral of the story

RPG's/Fantasy are keeping me alive.

You know, I really want to write down how I feel in this thread, but can't seem to bring myself to do it for some reason ☹️

RPG's are great for entertainment and escapism. I'm grinding the heck out of Fallout 76. I will need to look up God of War. Thanks for the post and this info.

I think you're doing well to immerse yourself in things like this.

Thank you, unfortunately I cannot always face gaming/watching TV. It's a struggle, but a worth while struggle 👍🏻

How are you guys today?

I feel like it is such a struggle to get through each day.
I can't sleep at night unless I put headphones on with some sort of sleep mediation thing, to keep me from thinking. When they run out, I wake up and have to put another on.

My working at home has become an exercise in futility. It's not working out. Systems are saturated and not working.

I've got a friend who is complaining on facebook that she is going to dump all her friends, because no one is calling her.
I did it this morning, but she was mad because she had texted me first - she was waiting to see who would call her without her having to reach out first.

I understand her feelings, and frankly, I am sure lots of people feel that way right now.
I am steeped in total internal turmoil, not only because I am alone here, but because I just lost the love of my life and a marriage of 30 years, because my daughter cut me off three weeks ago, no more contact with her nor my grandchildren... because my sons are far away and I haven't seen them for a long time. Because my parents, true to their history with me, don't have time to chat because they're always busy with something else.
Because I've never had love before I grew up and formed a family of my own, now that is exploded into shred and gone.


The last frigging thing I want to do is listen to someone else complain because she *only* has her kid with her. Frankly, I'd cut off my fingers to be able to hug one of my kids or grandkids. And I don't feel like letting someone else see me sobbing and my face swollen. I don't want to hear them telling me to "get over him he's a jerk, don't worry, your daughter will come around", platitudes.
I know, I sound like a jerk myself. I am embarrassed at how badly I am standing up emotionally, and don't feel able to support others who are too.

I'm teetering on the edge here. No one can make it stop hurting, and I don't know how much longer I can sustain this.

a reply to: Bluesma

Oh no...

You have a lot to carry. A real burden.

This too shall pass. Make sure you will not be crushed under your burden, just go forward. Slowly, if it has to be so.

originally posted by: Bluesma

I'm teetering on the edge here. No one can make it stop hurting, and I don't know how much longer I can sustain this.

For as long as you have to.

This will pass. It will change. Normalcy will return.

In therapy I went through a really rough patch. I was separated from family and it was eating at me. It was killing me. The therapist suggested that instead of letting those negatives rip away at me, I should use them in a different way. Her suggestion was that I sit down and write letters to the people I was thinking of. Letters that I could give to them, after things got better, to show them that I was always there for them and to let them see into thoughts I might otherwise not feel comfortable expressing directly.

I wrote three such letters. As of now two have been delivered. One still sits, waiting for the right time.

I don't know if this will help you or apply to your situation, but it's what I have to offer.

a reply to: Bluesma

It sounds to me like half your problem right now is just the general emotional turmoil and drama you find yourself surrounded by, and then it's compounded by the times of enforced isolation. You can't escape dwelling on it all by getting out and about like you probably ordinarily would.

Is there any means of escapism you can get yourself indulging in that doesn't require getting out in crowds or other people?

I know some of us are using things like video games to submerge ourselves in other worlds and lives.

Good morning all. I wish my headphones worked better for noise-canceling today. My partner is making Covid outreach calls to her patients today (which is normal for the last two weeks) but today she is also talking to them about their DNRs.

There is nothing I can do at the moment to help anyone, so I'll call, text and marco polo some friends and tell them I am thinking of them and that I love them dearly.

a reply to: Hefficide

Okay Heff i just broke down and cried. Reading your post.

About the letters. I should do the exact same thing.

I feel guilt.

Thank you Heff for being here for us. You are more powerful than you think.

originally posted by: Hefficide
a reply to: drussell41

I actually do have an Xbox One.

Honestly, once bills are paid for April and I get a feeling for my budget I might just take you up on that offer.

PM me if/when you want to do it.

originally posted by: Bluesma
How are you guys today?

I feel like it is such a struggle to get through each day.
I can't sleep at night unless I put headphones on with some sort of sleep mediation thing, to keep me from thinking. When they run out, I wake up and have to put another on.

My working at home has become an exercise in futility. It's not working out. Systems are saturated and not working.

I've got a friend who is complaining on facebook that she is going to dump all her friends, because no one is calling her.
I did it this morning, but she was mad because she had texted me first - she was waiting to see who would call her without her having to reach out first.

I understand her feelings, and frankly, I am sure lots of people feel that way right now.
I am steeped in total internal turmoil, not only because I am alone here, but because I just lost the love of my life and a marriage of 30 years, because my daughter cut me off three weeks ago, no more contact with her nor my grandchildren... because my sons are far away and I haven't seen them for a long time. Because my parents, true to their history with me, don't have time to chat because they're always busy with something else.
Because I've never had love before I grew up and formed a family of my own, now that is exploded into shred and gone.


The last frigging thing I want to do is listen to someone else complain because she *only* has her kid with her. Frankly, I'd cut off my fingers to be able to hug one of my kids or grandkids. And I don't feel like letting someone else see me sobbing and my face swollen. I don't want to hear them telling me to "get over him he's a jerk, don't worry, your daughter will come around", platitudes.
I know, I sound like a jerk myself. I am embarrassed at how badly I am standing up emotionally, and don't feel able to support others who are too.

I'm teetering on the edge here. No one can make it stop hurting, and I don't know how much longer I can sustain this.

You don't sound like a jerk, but your friend does.

I am really sorry to hear about all the other stressors and loss going on.