Softball with AugustusMasonicus: Season II

Tis the season and with the holidays fast approaching I thought who better to interview on the approach of the day set aside for your Lord and Savior then.............a Muslim. Betcha didn’t see that coming!!!! Or maybe you did, making you a sick SOB yourself which means I really elevated my opinion of you. Nothing like a little Fatwa under the tree to bring peace and joy on this special occasion. Right?

Our guest, in both his incarnations on this site, along with his multiple personalities, has always approached controversial topics sanely and rationally while plotting the destruction of your religion, basically making him kind of a chick version of Kali74. Please welcome Harzardous1408.

AM: Why haven’t you blown yourself up yet?

HZ: Way too scared to do that. I also am not too sure I’d be able to make a stable enough explosive device.

AM: What is your favorite weapon to use in the War on Christmas?

HZ: Definitely Atheist blogs. They’ve been working on this a lot longer and seem to have perfected finding all the right trigger spots.

AM: When you converted to Islam how hard was it to clean up after your family’s heads exploded?

HZ: They were actually pretty cool with it. My racist Irish uncle still argues with me telling me I’m a Catholic though.

AM: What do you enjoy most about Sharia?

HZ: It would have to be laws against Usury. But I’m kind of partial the idea of shooting and hanging rapists as well.

AM: What do you dislike more, bacon or Christians?

HZ: Neither. Most of my family are Christians and I often eat Turkey bacon. Although I’m sure many believe that’s no substitute for Swine.

AM: No, no it isnt. As a schizophrenic which of your multiple personalities do you like best and least and why?

HZ: A common misconception actually. The type of schizophrenia I have is undifferentiated schizophrenia. Which consists of symptoms of all the other types. Basically mine are voices, visual hallucinations, paranoia and anger.

AM: Wow, someone on Above Top Secret is hearing voices. There's a first. Have you ever secretly drawn Mohammed?

HZ: In my mind I have.

AM: Can you tell us what it’s like living in the 7th century?

HZ: Pretty similar to the MAGA utopia many Trump supporters want. Only with a different type of theocratic government.

AM: How long before your brothers and sisters overrun the UK?

HZ: We already have I have no idea what you’re talking about.

AM: You’re a ginger and a Muslim, have you ever thought about contracting The Gay and making it a trifecta?

HZ: One thing at a time (and only my beard is ginger).


 

AM: Is there anything hotter than a woman in a burka?

HZ: Probably not, I can’t imagine it is cool. They must be boiling. On a serious note, yes there is.......a naked woman.

AM: Donner Kabob or Shawarma?

HZ: As I’ve never had Shawarma, Kebab by default.

AM: Here's some giant, infidel head-sized Softballs. What's your favorite film?

HZ: Rise of the Footsoldier., it's an English gangster film based on true events.

AM: Favorite TV show?

HZ: Game of Thrones or Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares.

AM: Favorite book?

HZ: The Quran.

AM: Favorite sport (other than head chopping)?

HZ: Football. Real football (Soccer to you guys). Chelsea supporter.

AM: Favorite hobby?

HZ: Tough one. Most probably writing lyrics and poetry.

AM: Will you ever go to Mecca and if you do will you promise never to come back?

HZ: Haha. I’m not too sure. For one I’m not very good with crowds. I’m also not a fan of the Kingdom’s practices with Hajj. I’d love to though.

AM: Favorite quote from the Koran?

HZ: I have a few favourites...But 109:6; “For you is your Faith, and for me, my Faith' has always been my absolute favourite.

AM: Infidel on ATS you’d most like to smoke a hookah with and why?

HZ: Funnily enough, that would be you. Why, you ask? Honestly I don’t really like anyone else on this website. (This answer left your fearless reporter both flattered and frightened
)



Hazardous was born in West London, in 1987. He was sectioned in 2012 for talking about The Council Of 13 and he's always had a soft spot for the CIA & MI5(6) as he finds the fairytale of secret spy life intriguing. He loves his mum and his pitbull Ghost. Hazrdous has also been known to rock a fedora on occasion.

I’m hoping you enjoyed that because I didn’t. I personally take offense when radicals try to push their crazy views of tolerance and peace on me. Hey! Hazardous! Go sit on an oil drum in the desert so I don’t feel bad drone-striking you! But seriously, he’s a great guy, all 12 of him.

Thanks for joining us today Hazard, it was a treat to have you here and I hope, when the Caliphate is firmly established, that you take pity on my apostate ass and toss me off a roof last. Your parting gifts today are some turkey bacon and a copy of the film Split since it seems like it could have been a documentary of your life.

Merry Christmas ya filthy animals. Until next time.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

HZ: Funnily enough, that would be you. Why, you ask? Honestly I don’t really like anyone else on this website.

Hazrdous has also been known to rock a fedora on occasion.

It makes sense. Fedora bros stick together.

At Last!
Someone who makes makes Sharia Law and Fatwa fun, warm and kooky!

originally posted by: FauxMulder
It makes sense. Fedora bros stick together.

I need mine to cover the horns.

originally posted by: IAMTAT
At Last!
Someone who makes makes Sharia Law and Fatwa fun, warm and kooky!

Both of those just needed a subtle marketing shift, I think he accomplished that objective.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Augustus, you may singlehandedly bring all of the world's religions into a peaceful co existence. Or you may not.
Either way, thanks Hazardous 1408 for the frank and honest (?) answers.
So relieved that you are not skilled in explosives and for that you get a
from me.

This is such a relief to hear:

AM: How long before your brothers and sisters overrun the UK?

HZ: We already have I have no idea what you’re talking about.

PS: Pretty sure Birmingham is only a "no-go" zone because... who would want to go there? (I've been. Nice people! But.... that's about all the good I could say about the place).

Nice interview guys!!!

originally posted by: TNMockingbird
Augustus, you may singlehandedly bring all of the world's religions into a peaceful co existence.

Mason Goal #8.

originally posted by: zosimov


Nice interview guys!!!

It helps when you get to interview 6 people at the same time.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Yeah, but tell them about #9.

originally posted by: zosimov
Yeah, but tell them about #9.

The 'One Religion' we are uniting them under is Luciferianism.

Listen, we need to stop this labeling of "ginger beards" as "gingers"! There is a fine line between the two, and it usually sits right about cheekbone level. (At least that is where my husband's ginger beard stops.)

Enjoyed this one!

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

I guess we'll be needing that amorphous, impalpable clue now.

a reply to: chelsdh


Frankly the only good ginger is a ginger beer.

originally posted by: FauxMulder
I guess we'll be needing that amorphous, impalpable clue now.

Give me a couple weeks and I'll toss one out.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

I've not had the pleasure of trying a ginger beer. Does it counteract nausea?

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Really enjoying this thread! Posting because I can't get the thread show up to myATS. Hope this helps.

originally posted by: chelsdh
I've not had the pleasure of trying a ginger beer. Does it counteract nausea?

Yes. And it makes a seriously good Dark and Stormy.

a reply to: Benevolent Heretic


Glad you like it BH and it's good to see you posting.