The Shed 17

a reply to: gimmefootball400

Nice pics Chooch! My town is getting 12 to 15 inches.



How have you been buddy? Staying out of trouble?

The saga of my day.

Whenever I have a doctors appointment pertaining to my heart issues I cannot sleep well the night before. I feel asleep about 630 am and had to get up by 830 am. As that gives you a pretty good clue, I was not myself at getting up so early. This morning I had an appointment to get blood work done at the place I get my psych medicine. As part of my waking up routine, I have breakfast at the computer to give myself time to wake up while I check to see if the world is still out there. Keep in mind that I was feeling pretty good the day before. The worse thing that can possibly happen did just that. My laptop took a bath in apple juice. Of course, I was somewhat soaked as well. I did what to resolve the situation only to get a message that I no longer have a hard drive.

No time for miracles or praying so I headed out to get the blood work done. So I arrived and told them why I was there. They told me no as they only do blood on Mondays and Tuesday. As my day was off to a poor start this just made things worse as I even presented my appointment card showing that I was there at the correct time and date.

Keep in mind that my doctor appointment is at 100pm about 8 miles from where I was at that time which was a little after 1000am. Dad was sitting in his car eating some chocolate sort of thing. I told him what happened and he continued eating. I then reminded him that I would rather not sit there in the parking lot until Monday. I told him I would rather go home and check on the damage to the laptop. Apparently, his plan was to just sit in the car for almost three hours and then head to my doctor appointment.

As my doctor appointment was intended to just talk to the doctor along with my nurse I decided to blow this off in part due to my nurse not being able to make it as she is sick. Once home I called the dr office and left a message for the dr to call me sometime. Replies usually take a day or two.

So here I am at home now with nothing whatsoever to do. My computer is the window to the outside world which beats staring at these walls all the time. As I was giving the computer time to dry after partially taking it apart all I could do was mope on my recliner and alternate between music and worthless tv just for the noise. I dozed off a few times as there was nothing else for me to do besides feeling so bad about what may come. At about 430pm I decided to put the laptop back together and discovered it to be working.

The keyboard is a bit sticky but it seems to be working at 100%. I realize that there could still be that fatal drop of apple juice underneath the keyboard that is waiting for that right moment to give me the blue screen of death. We will just have to wait and see. In the meantime, dad wants me to keep the computer upside down with a fan blowing on it for 24 hrs. Perhaps it will get the fan when I am no longer using it tonight.

So I've officially given up on the current cardiologist as it was his fault that I didn't sleep last night which caused the near-death experience for the laptop. My psych doctors I question their usefulness as well as I would not have gotten up so early had they given me a correct appointment date. I would have failed the blood test anyway as I forgot that I needed to fast since midnight for the test.

a reply to: LookingForABetterLife


OMG Blue, I kept switching form sympathy of all the crap happening to laughter in the way you told your story. LOL

I don't know what meds they have you on, but I want some. Hopefully your computer is a survivor and won't die on you.

a reply to: Night Star

I will kill it if it doesn't survive.

*quietly slips into The Shed and slides into his favorite corner chair*
*looks around shiftily and waves over a cup of coffee*
*waves nervously at at the onlookers and enjoys his cup*

originally posted by: LightSpeedDriver
a reply to: Finspiracy

You don't across as psychotic on here, quite the opposite in fact but that doesn't mean much I guess.

Yeah my psychosis is in a remission because the docs found a good medicine that does not have much side effects. Psychotic episodes that needed hospitalization was in 2005 and 2009 and after the second time, i decided that i have had enough hard drugs for this lifetime. I know quite well what is real and what is not, i use probabilities. If i walk on the street and there is an elderly lady walking her chihuahua and i think "What if she pulls a handgun from her purse and shoots me in the head?" all odds are against that... Mandela effect almost messed up my mind but Night Star was really helpful in those threads.

I also try to understand what is within my powers and what is not. What if CERN causes Mandela effect, what am i going to do? Walk through the front gates of CERN, find my way to the main control room, find a big red button that says "Emergency self destruction" And then a countdown begins. No, this is not a Keanu Reeves movie, this is my small life. Or wars? Am i going to send an email to world leaders to stop the wars. Then they hold a press conference stating "Some Finnish dude told us to stop the wars and we thought it was a great idea, so world peace is now here!"

Thanks for all the uplifting posts and PM's

a reply to: Finspiracy

Hey Fin, I read this, this morning and have been brewing on a reply. I haven't come up with a good one, but...
That is a lot you have on your plate, Sir Fin.
The last one bothers me most of all. I am just a Pm away. We all are.

But, and this is just simple contemplation. Our western society is so rigid it has to label and box up every thing that doesn't adhere to an artificial construct of productivity.
If we don't meet the preconceived standards we are judged as "waste", perhaps recyclable goods.
Yes it is a problem if we can't function in society but what if "society" made space for the the more "entrepreneurial" spirits.
Just a thought

a reply to: LookingForABetterLife

Hey Blue it sounds like you had a perfect Monday.
I am amazed you are able to even write in coherently with all of this going on.
]]]]]]]]HUGS[[[[[[[[[

originally posted by: WalkInSilence
a reply to: Finspiracy

Hey Fin, I read this, this morning and have been brewing on a reply. I haven't come up with a good one, but...

That was a good one! Give yourself some credit for a change!

I have contemplated a lot about those kind of things. Western society, productivity and "drop-outs" like me. There was a time when i used to think if everyone would be like me, things would be better. No fights, no disrespect. But... also no farmers to grow grain. No baker to make bread out of it. No truck drivers to drive them to the grocery shop and no shopkeeper to sell it for me to eat. And... if everyone was like me it would be so uninteresting. I don't mean to underrate myself this time, but then all diversity would be lost and diversity is a treasure.

And back in the days, i woke up early most mornings, grabbed a beer from the fridge, opened the curtains and watched the "little ants run their rat race to work and back and back to work" Now that years have gone by, i would like to be "normal" (which doesn't exist) But you know... a job and a wife. But i will have to get by with who i am and what i have. Improve my weak areas and make the most out of my strong areas.

a reply to: LookingForABetterLife

Would you happen to have a spare keyboard from a desktop computer that has USB? Just attach it to your laptop and no more sticky keyboard. That is how i use my laptop, i like "normal-sized" keyboard more.

a reply to: Finspiracy

*unspecified non-organic psychosis
*repetitive depression
*obsessive compulsive disorder
*social isolationism
*Constant sleeping difficulties and nightmares
*Suicide attempts

Just in case you are not aware Fin, I am qualified to help ... but not long distance ... no-one should be doing that.

All of your listed items can be secondary to long term PTSD.

Has this been determined?

Your hyper-vigilance is yet another clue.

I am glad to see some of your problems are in remission. Keep fighting!

If you want my further suggestions, please let me know. I feel this discussion would be of benefit to a few other members of our Shed.

P

P

Huwwo! From Kaelci and Bassplyr!
(Apologies if that photo is huge... using my phone because the computer has been pillaged by a crazed 4yr old. So I don't have resizing tools handy.)

A belated happy new year to everyone!

Everything is going well here! I'm happy, Dave's happy and mostly recovered from his spider-assaulted fall last week, and the boy is happy. Very muchly looking forward to the 22nd when my son begins Kindergarten... I need to continue my writing and I've barely written one creative word since December's onset, so the upcoming "free time" will be very welcome.

He's looking forward to it too. Almost every day he asks if today is a kindy day... sooooooon! Very soon!

Not much else to report, but just wanted to check in prove that we're both alive, and give new years hugs and hope to everyone! (Hope that the new year is wonderful to everyone and is not the harbourer of doomed days.)

*new years group hug!!!*
🎉🎉😊😊😊🎉🎉

a reply to: Finspiracy

Fin I see that we are in the same disorder club.

*unspecified non-organic psychosis
*repetitive depression
*obsessive compulsive disorder
*social isolationism
*Constant sleeping difficulties and nightmares
*Suicide attempts

The weird thing about all of this is that I try to find a name for all my disorder but just like with my seizures they keep changing the names of the symptoms. The unspecified non-organic psychosis is very much my gray area as I have not shared most of this with the professionals as it doesn't happen too much.

a reply to: gimmefootball400

Good job on the photos. I don't get to see trains that often anymore and trains and snow together is just not going to happen much here.

a reply to: Night Star

The magical combination that works best for me is caffeinated coffee and escitalopram.

a reply to: WalkInSilence

Coffee and the right medication are what is keeping me going.

a reply to: Finspiracy

Thanks, I have at least two smaller keyboards around somewhere. I used one with my last laptop once it went into critical condition.

FYI, throwing laptops into the wall is not a good idea. All you get is a hole in the wall and a dying computer.

originally posted by: pheonix358
All of your listed items can be secondary to long term PTSD.

Has this been determined?

It has not been determined but i have thought about it. I can't remember anything before i was like 8 or 9 years old. My dad was very violent towards my mom and also threatened to kill me and the rest of the family a few times. Made calls who do i want him to start with?

Maybe PTSD could be determined in psychotherapy or something but i don't want to go back there even in a safe environment. And yes, i am alert at all times. Walking in the streets, standing in line to buy something, sitting in a bus. And right now, alone at home writing this post. Beer helps. Stupid, unhealthy and short term, but it helps momentarily anyway.

And there was this messy episode when i was like 15. My grandmom had cancer and eventually died in her bed at home. For some reason no-one came to get her right away, it took like two or three days. My grandfather, father (then i was in somewhat ok relationship with him) and i started drinking booze. Then my grandfather and father started fighting and i went to sit next to my dead grandmom telling her that i am sorry you can't rest now in a peaceful place. Made a promise to try to calm my dad and grandpa down, luckily they passed out drunk eventually. A day or two went by and i had to leave because i had a bad hangover and the stench of death was everywhere.

a reply to: kaelci

Happy belated new years to Kaelci and Bassplyr and hello to everyone here tonight.

a reply to: kaelci

Oh My God
You guys are so cute you made me cry.

Thank You.